₦airaland Forum

drealnamdy: ur fadaaaa!!!! It iz ur family dat must be buried diz season..rubbish...

Escaped mental patient, the people at Chelsea don't even know you exist, yet you are here insulting someone's family. SMH!!

afam4eva: If there's no proof then the case should be dropped or do you expect the accused to be prosecuted without any proof? Infact i think Mikel and Juan Mata be locked up for false alarm. Chelsea must be buried this season. Rubbish.

Actually Mata had since denied ever hearing anything: http://www.futaa.com/football/article/racism-row-mata-denies-mikel, same with Romeu. It is the person who started the whole thing; 'HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED" that should be fined and suspended. Racism should be fought to a standstill but a person who falsely accuses someone of racism should be sanctioned as well. E.O.D

The OP is an escaped mental patient and the MOD who put it on the front page is a buffoon.

Syenite: . Yuzedo-You're Useless Zero Eratic Donced Ode.

And you can't even spell correctly yet you have the cojones to insult someone who can. Escaped mental patient!!!

For Allen, that one na very normal thing, Alade market front and back na HQ for them. But @OP: u sef get big eye, that same Allen get certified Bureau De Change: Sullah wey dey before GTB if you are coming from Opebi to Allen Roundabout, why you no branch there?

Whobedatte: Ha, me i dey supply them printing materials if they wanna print on handbills and banners wherever they wanna do their adverts oo , i no dey Bleep them, anyway, where that Cabaret dey for ikeja , tell me asap!!!

Na for one corner after Opebi Roundabout on the left hand side if you are coming from Allen or Toyin. You fit no notice am, na between some office buildings. Make I get you the correct address later.

thelastPope: I told all the foolish Obama supporters on here that he was not different from Bush. Those Nigerian eediots retweeting four more years are applauding their enemy. They don't know what's coming. Smh!

Leave them bro, they say the fly that doesn't heed warnings follows the corpse into the grave. Like I wrote somewhere yesterday, if Obama has to take a dump on Africa for America to grow, he will do so without a moment's hesitation.

Well can't say I'm surprised; Obama made it crystal clear when he took office in 2008 that he would do whatever it takes to wean America off foreign oil. Shell has been selling off assets world wide and moving into other fields of renewable energy. The Arabs have also been doing the same e.g Qatar's investments in companies like Porsche and Volkswagen. Alas for my dear Nigeria; no plan B for oil, no back up plan, no contingency plan, no nothing, its consumption with ten fingers and ten toes. SMH

Porsche Cayennes and Panameras used by the Qatari Police Force.

Whobedatte: as if the politicians are not the ones that patronize them. Anyway, i can't marry one, cos they are advanced harlots, Its more or less they are on annual leave when u date them, and after marriage they are back in buziness. Strippers @ wall street Pub, Club-unique, cave, Cazzbahh, Solidgate all @ ikeja go for the highest bidder after stripping. For them its the Quickest /easiest way of making cash

Bad sharp guy ; you don waka the whole Allen/Opebi to Ikeja G.R.A axis finish come sabi all the stripper runs. You forget Cabaret for Opebi sha. 90% of the strippers in these clubs still sleep with men if the pay is right. A round with a stripper at the cave costs 25k so bone that "they are strippers and not sluts" BS, what is the difference between six and half a dozen?

http://www.thenationonlineng.net/2011/index.php/saturday-magazine/special-report/20622-strip-tease.html

Mynd_44: Did I say/type ALL strippers. I said they can be which means some.

Dint be too quick to judge as some do it to pay their way through school and you can't conclude that they all have sèx with customers.

Oh please!!!! Enough with the sob stories, makes me want to barf. And the girls who are beautiful and indigent but decided to go into selling of clothes and other petty businesses to put themselves through school nko? Is it that the student-strippers did not see these businesses or that their supposed "intelligence" wasn't good enough to see these opportunities? I have no problem with people marrying strippers; marriage is a personal matter of choice and no one has the moral standing to dictate to someone else who or who not to marry.

This is why I never understood the hysteria among Africans about Obama. He won't do jack for Africa and why should he; he was elected by AMERICANS to protect AMERICAN interest. It is in America's interest for Africa to continue serving as a cheap means of labour and raw materials and then as a market for finished goods. Obama will do whatever it takes for America to be great again and if it means taking a dump on Africa, he won't hesitate. No white knight will come to rescue Africa, we brought ourselves to this point, it behooves on us to pick ourselves back up again. EOD!!!!

jude33084: If you want to know great football players, watch them in their national team play not league matches. Pele is still the KING in football

Τhis is why i still respect Diego Folan, Radamel Falcao, Klinsmann, Gulit, Maradona, Pele, Voller, CR, Iniesta, Xavi, Drogba, Pirlo, Zindane(the professor), Figo, Abedi Pele, Alex Depero,Poboski, Ronaldo, Ronaldinho, Sedof, M. Owen, Yaya toure, Viali, etc these guys do better than Messi in their national shirt(colour). These tested worldcup players can single handedly change the game.

But in the league; Messi is in a class of his own

Explain what the bolded ones have done at national team level.

Yomieluv: The govnor is a clown,he ought to resign,maybe he thought the guy na ram like am.
Hausa and their animalistic behaviours

And you had to insult a whole tribe because of one person's actions right? Try and purchase some grey matter before you post next time you escaped mental patient!!!

And I am supposed to jump because Haiti has joined AU? The same impoverished Haiti? Big freaking deal!!!!! Isn't it the same AU; "the do nothing, see nothing bad, hear no evil" AU whose presidency register reads like a VIP party list from the bowels of Hades? I am all for Pan Africanism, Pan Negritudist Movement, African Renaissance Dance or whatever nomenclature it is called but empty gestures such as this add no value whatsoever.

Red-Light:
oh oh... u forgot how english products like

ronaldo,
essien,
fabreagas,
alonso,
and many of them are ruling spanish football

Were you high on gutter fumes when you posted this; Essien who? And what league were Alonso and Fabregas bought from to the EPL? Common sense is truly not that common.

dorothy111: My point is, player moves from one team to another, not just players moves from very league to EPL. EPL buy players just like any other team, meanwhile both BECK and Owen won the league for Madrid

Olodo!! Abeg stop embarrassing yourself. Owen never won La Liga. SMH

[quote author=dorothy111]David Becks, Owen, Rud Van Nisteroy, Ronaldo Delima, Ronaldinho, you want more? Ibramovic 60m euro, Chygirinsky 30m, Helb, Song, Alexis, just to mention few[/quote

Anyone who has contributed to making you the dunce that you are today deserves public flogging. So Ronaldo De Lima, Ronaldinho, Chygrikinsky, Alexis, Ibrahimovic and co played in EPL at what point in their careers? Common sense is truly a rare commodity.

ocelot2006: No sir, you do your own research again. Angola may have recovered quickly from its long disastrous civil. And there's absolutely no doubt that the nation is blessed with a lot of natural resources. But do NOT put that nation in the same league with Africa's 2nd largest economy and one ranked just after the BRICS nation.

Love to see where Nigeria was ranked after the BRIC nations, care to share the link to that story?

Clemzy16: This woman is just jealous that We're growing in christ while her country is still serving idols(voodoo) at the 21st century.

There have been funny posts, idiotic posts, correct posts on this issue but you Sir have just gotten the award for Most Idiotic Post of The Year. Please step forward and claim your prize.

[quote author=aybaba73@yahoo.co.uk]When hell bound heathenic people make accusing remarks against the children of God,it nt only turn the face of God 4rm them but puts limitation on them. U can never attract what u attack.its a spiritual principle. Pastor ayo is the biblical samuel of our time.a man who was plegded to God by the mother before conception.his first 5yrs on earth,he couldnt talk but on his 5th birthday,he began to talk smoothly nd now a voice to the nations of the world.a man who in 1972 at bible school used bread as pillow at nite.he bought bread,eat a little 4rm it nd use the rest as pillow at nite.a man who has been consistent for 40yrs as a pastor.as a member of word of life,we were emberassd that our papa doesnt ve his own jet.his frnds in the ministry who reverence nd honor him has their's nd our papa whose schedule is tighter than any nigerian minister,a man who to the best of my knwlegde is booked beyond 2015,a man who most times preaches in two continents in one week,at times three difrnt countries in one week.at times,wen commecial airlines disapoints him by delay of flight or cancelation after sleeping for 5hrs at airports,because thats only where he has time to sleep,he wil eventualy hire a plane nd fly in jst to meet us in service.this often happens times witout number.as a church,we have been touch by his love nd compassion 4 us.his messages,instructions nd prayers has blessed us tremendously.he has been my pst 4 over 25yrs nd today i ve seen God taken him higher 4rm glory to glory.today,we re so proud as a church to ve presented him a token gift of a jet plane.so glad.hell is angry,enemies re angry.we dnt care. God's mandate to his is TAKE MY WORD TO THE WORLD nd that has taken him to over 100 nations of the world wit signs & wonders following.he is a major conference speaker in big big ministries arround the world nd 2day he wil start flying in style witout delay or inconviniences.the demand on his annointing is heavy. So haters,if u like,insult nd talk nonsense.insult who God has lifted up,no wahala.he is on top nd only a man on the floor destind to remain on the floor would insult a the man that God has place on the roof top. Happy Birthday to my father,mentor nd pastor. I luv u sir![/quo

This post proves Einstein right; there's truly no limit to the depth of human stupidity.

http://topeolowu.com/2012/11/09/friend-zones-and-other-stories/

“Friend Zone” is as old as prostitution itself. It has been around for as long as anyone can remember and it is in many ways, a dream killer.

What’s a friendzone? It is that position you attain after you fail to impress a woman you’re attracted to. Usually initiated by the woman saying, “You’re such a good friend”. Usually associated with long days of suffering and watching your love interest hop from one bad relationship to another.

Being stuck in a friendship and wanting more can be a frustrating position. Sometimes this frustration is sexually-motivated, with one friend desiring a physical relationship with the other, in any case, wanting more than you are currently getting is a heart-wrenching situation. The “friend zone” is not an easy place to live!!

No matter how smart of a player the dude is, he has been through the “Friend Zone”. Studies have shown that only 30% of every 100 in a friend zone actually end up becoming the real thing. So it like a game of life. Try to impress too much and you become a “maga”, try to be stingy and you may never get there. It involves wits, guts and street instincts to maneuver this ladies who enjoy having the brothers see but don’t touch.

Below are the differentt levels of the “Friend Zone” and their characteristics in no particular order.

Zone: Buy me sharwama zone

Hope level: 25% (maga zone)

Name on Her Phonebook: Segun Shawarma

Place of Reward: Heaven is your home

Characteristics: A believer. Got money but little brain. Spender per excellence. A lady’s delight anyday

Zone: Unhook My Bra Zone

Hope level: Could be 0% or 99.9% depending on how street smart the brother is.

Name on Her Phonebook: Segun

Place of reward: On her bed doing the real thing or on your bed wanking to memories.

Characteristics: any dude at this stage is considered to be gay by a sister. Smart enough, he could change her mind by giving her some surprise action. Operative word being “smart” though.

Zone: Help me pick beans Zone

Hope Level: 0% ( never gonna happen)

Name On Her Phonebook: none. (you are an idiot and you don’t deserve a place in her life)

Place Of Reward: Fools paradise

Characteristics: a broke ass brother who hopes that by helping out with housework, he can land the sister. Except the lady is an OSU chic, he can never be successful.

Zone: Help me paint my fingers zone

Hope Level: none ( your are like your cousin in the help me pick beans zone)

Name on phonebook: Segun P&M (pedicure and manicure)

Place of Reward: fools paradise.

Characteristics: Dude with low self esteem. Lady sees it too and takes advantage of it.

Zone: Loose my haır zone

Hope Level: -5%

Name On Phonebook: Segun hairdresser

Place of Reward: Hell

Characteristics: has both characteristics of both the dude in the pick my beans zone and the ewedu zone.

Zone: Brother-in-christ zone

Hope Level: 1% when she’s young. 99% when she’s spent.

Name on Phonebook: Brother Segun

Reward: Heaven is your home bro

Characteristics: holy, long suffering and patient dude. His patience usually pays off…… When our lady is old, spent and almost the oldest spinster in her neighborhood.

Zone: Sign Attendance For Me Zone

Hope Level: 0%

Name on phonebook: Segun Class.

Reward: Nowhere.

Characteristics: a dude who is the dictionary’s pictorial definition of being Used and dumped.

Zone: Comforter zone

Hope Level: 10% ( you get to hold her when her BF kicks her ass and she cries into you new shirt)

Name On Phonebook: Segun Best Friend

Place of Reward: Heaven or hospital bed (Jealous boyfriend could beat you ass to near-death)

Characteristics: Mr Nice man trying to impress. Will always be mr nice man

Zone: walk me home in d midnight zone!

Hope level: 1% to 99% depends if you are street smart.

Name on Phonebook: none (depends on how each midnight walk ends)

Place Of Reward: heaven, kidnappers den, jail (for wandering) hospital (hit and run things)

Characteristics: Long suffering individual. Prepared to risk his life to show her love. He will get his heart desire or die trying.

Zone: Make her laugh zone

Hope Level: 0%

Name on Phonebook: Idiot (if she has more dan one person in this zone then you have to pick a number depending on how hard she laughs when u display your stupidity)

Reward: Hell

Characteristics: a struggling upcoming comedian. Dude is only remembered when the lady’s mood is down. He is forgotten when he has served his purpose.

Zone: Best cook in the world zone

Hope level: 50% (depending on how big of a glutton she is)

Name on Phonebook: Segun “Fried rice” (depending on the name of the delicacy that had her hooked to you in the first place)

Place of Reward: heaven or on her bed.

Characteristics: he is a very good cook. If he is smart enough, his dishes will get him his lady. He must also be prepared to do the cooking for as long as possible too else……….

Zone: My Bis will soon expire” Zone”

Hope Level: 1%

Name on phonebook: Segun BIS

Place of Reward: hell

Characteristics: dude is a believer. He believes as long as he keeps renewing her Bis, she will one day be his. When her BIS is almost expired, she uses his picture as DP and send virtual kisses and all. As soon as BIS is renewed, DP is removed till the end of next month.

Zone: Make my boyfriend jealous zone

Hope Level: 0%

Name on phonebook: Segun Assistant

Reward: Heaven

Characteristics: un-sharp dude. When the lady’s boyfriend is acting up and he needs to be put in place, this dude comes into use. As soon as the boyfriend comes begging, he is hung to dry.

Zone: Drivers zone

Hope Level: 30%

Name on Phonebook: Segun Car (wey her papa no buy)

Place of reward: heaven

Characteristics: Dude believes in his mind that he is the boyfriend. But seriously he isn’t. Lady needs to be mobile and bike accidents isn’t good for our fine sister’s skin so there comes his usefulness.

Zone: Relationship expert zone

Hope Level: 0%

Name on phonebook: my friend

Place of reward: heaven

Characteristics: has read a lot of relationship books and know all of Oprah winfrey quotes. Most of his advice to the lady works for a relationship and he is alone forever and ever.

Zone: Friends with benefits zone

Hope Level: 100% (BOSS)

Name on phonebook: Oluwasegunfunmi

Place of Reward: Heaven!!!

Characteristics: Boss of the friend zone. Dude with 100% street smartness. Able to harness the potentials of the friendzone to his advantage and has sex with the lady under the disguise of “being friends”

Zone: Fashion Buddy (Aka Gay Zone)

Hope Level: 0%

Name on Phonebook: Segun BFF

Place of Reward: Hell

Characteristics: has a great fashion sense and hopes to use this to his advantage. Fails because lady wants someone with a good eye on fashion as a buddy instead. He can see but can’t touch

Zone: Help me do the Ewedu zone

Hope Level: -10%

Name on Phonebook: none

Place of Reward: in her kitchen, with one plate of amala and ewedu soup with or without meat.

Characteristics: Hungry dude with a lot of free time on his hands. Hopes he can help the lady with ewedu to get closer. Fails everytime and even owes hope some marks.

Zone: Uncle zone

Hope level: 25%

Name on phonebook: Uncle Segun

Place of reward: heaven

Characteristics: believer. Hopes he can one day turn the respect the lady has for him into something more progressive. Fails more than half the time..

Zone: Send me call credit zone

Hope level: 1%

Name on phonebook: Maga 11

Place of Reward: heaven.

Charateristics: Believer. Dude believes the more credit he sends, the better his chances of getting the real thing. Lady knows this too so she skim everything she can off him

Zone: Silverbird/Oniru/Elegushi Zone

Hope Level: 70% (if you are street smart)

Name on Phonebook: My Boo

Place of reward: Anywhere.

Characteristics: Hustler with hope. Got swags but no brain and most often, they are mostly comfortable with this zone.

Yeah…. A lot of guys reading this may have found themselves in more than one of this zones. Some are seriously in denial but to them that will admit, don’t worry, be happy. Even PDP zoned us too

Special Shout Out to the ladies who have at least one guy in every of the zones stated above. Ye are the true daughters of Eve.

Special Shout Out to the brothers still trapped in the Friends Zone. I feel your pain brothers.

Follow the writer on twitter @Dolusegun

Omogbhollahorn: And what makes u fink that the guys where saying it to the public abi him carry loud speaker

No mind them, you know this thread is for "God Fearing Men" (I laugh in Farsi).

ItsModella: Some guys always want to show that they're boss. Those who are trying to convince themselves that they are alpha-males will always want to prove that point to themselves, the ladies and fellow guys. In other words, it sounds respectable to their ears when they reveal their sexcapades to other guys. It's just their way of saying "yeah man, I'm cool like that"

That is immaturity, lack of character and inferiority complex. A real man understands that he doesn't need anybody's opinion to validate his sense of masculinity. When he does things in a right and respectable manner without any ulterior motive, people will attribute masculinity to him without much thought.

And a girl who tells her friends "in a right & respectable manner" how she collects money from a dude(synonyms: God fearing men, mugus, magas et al)without giving it up is what?

It never ceases to amaze me when a girl seeks to define who a "real" man is or not (height of idiocy). If you haven't boasted about plugging a babe before; good for you, if you have actually plugged a girl and told people about it, also good for you, whatever floats your boat. E.O.D!!!

solomon111: you think if he resign,Nigeria's problems would be over?
Lol.
Nigeria's problems will only just begin.

Actually, he hasn't caused any new problem but he certainly hasn't solved any old one either so its basically same of the same. I don't support calls for his resignation though; won't solve or achieve anything.

*Sees another foolish thread making the front page, pulls down pants and pees all over the dumb OP and the even dumber moderator who put it on the front page*

Another display of extravagant stupidity from the "Nigerian Christian"(apologies to Elnathan). Tithing for children? Is there no length to which you people would not go to justify idiocy?
The day I see someone's epitaph with the inscription "DIED POOR BECAUSE HE DID NOT START PAYING TITHE FROM CHILDHOOD" I will believe.

ogugua88: One will be empathetic and altruistic. The other will be a pathological liar, who suffers memory lapses worse than a goldfish....... iKid lol.

Congratulations on he birth of her new twins.

Maybe but one will be a multi millionaire while the other will have to borrow to get a tertiary education. E.O.D!!!!

donniemc: Idiot...Nigeria is the 3rd fastest growing economy in the world!!...that means only 2 countries in the world are doing
better than Nigeria economically..it is you that should learn how to google before you post

And what beer parlour did you get this statistic from? See the link below for the IMF's index of the 20 fastest growing economies as at October 24, 2012 and stop displaying extravagant idiocy.

http://www.businessinsider.com/worlds-fastest-economies-2012-10?op=1

Rubbish: https://www.nairaland.com/1068519/too-much-negativity-nigeria-see

Nonsense thread: https://www.nairaland.com/1068519/too-much-negativity-nigeria-see