₦airaland Forum

@davidylan
like i said before this whole issue i really dont believe was race related. i think it was immigrant related. the race angle was just by the way . i already explained that in my previous posts so i wont bother rehashing the details.

just curious why did he beckon you from the line to glance at your passport? did he do that to everyone?

@ikamefa

kpele and i have a big bag here. my mom just came and brought enough garri to sink the titanic!
im trying to make you jealous.

shushu:
hey hot chic and others,
i have reached a stage in my life where i know that career isn't everything.I have stayed back home at a stage of my marriage just so we could settle down well.This was entirely my decision anyway.I am now back to work.
There are always faces in life and I'll just say never say never.

i too have gotten to a point in my life where i would happily resign my job in a heart beat for my kid. ive had it with the cut throat corporate world. it's killing me.and trying to juggle a career and motherhood is the hardest thing ever. i would happily 'lagbesh' at home while loverboy goes out to make a living for us. but that decision is mine to make and i cant be ordered to resign. and besides he should be ready to maintain me at the level at which im now used to living.

my cousin's room mate in university was chinese. he loved drinking garri. im serious. my cousin would go to school with a big bag of garri and the chinese guy would help him finish it. that's funny. anyway i heard chinese people can eat (or drink) anything! i should invite him to this thread.

@mrmayor

where she got the money from is her business not mine. her offence was not declaring it. ( so they said)

like i said before ive been stopped several times at airports and i was never given a real reason why i was stopped. it was always "a routine check". i always demand to know why i am being stopped and checked and re checked and questioned as if they got word i was coming . the reason is always we are just doing our jobs ma'am. yeah right!

this thread is real funny. its hilarious when pastors try to make you fall down by force. my cousin was almost pushed by a man of God trying to make her fall down. when everyone is on the floor, is that the sign of the pastor's greatness?

kintro:
Joint accounts also discourage men from having extra marrital affairs,

we dont know about that!

i have a conference call in ten minutes. im so not in the mood for that right now.

@msy
i see i did mention white american. my bad. i really didnt mean color wise. i thought my emphasis was on the immigrant part. 
i should have said "born american" or real american or something. i was trying to refer to a real american citizen not a naturalized one.  because we know that anyone can carry an american passport but from your name and place of birth on the passport they can tell who the naturalized immigrants are.
it seems to bother them that she has been a resident since 1989 and hadnt bothered to naturalize. if she had naturalized and was an american would she have been given a lighter punishment? would it have mattered?

but that said , it still would not be far fetched for anyone putting the racial spin on this. i travel frequently and those immigration officers are racist. racist and subtle. ive often been asked to step aside (very very politely of course) and checked more thoroughly than other passengers. ive been questioned while others are let through without a second glance.and ive lived here for years!!!!!!! was it because i'm black? born nigerian? and i wasn't  even carrying $92,000!!    .  has this whole thing been blown way out of proportion? maybe.

if she has to forfeit the money, tough luck. she should have made use of modern technology to transfer it.

Oke_amu:
Most married women in nigeria are house wives anyways so which kind joint account?
I think this idea applies more to westerners with working wives,

who says most nigerian wives are housewives? it would depend on your definition of a housewife. maybe you only think only of an office job as a real job. but guess what? all those women who own small shops and are into petty trading have a source of income too and may have considered joint accounts with their husbands. so its not very far fetched in nigeria.

a lot of guys on this thread are fronting like they wouldnt mind but truth is that the male ego is very fragile and cant stand competition.
my advice to the guys is to celebrate your woman. whatever is hers is yours. remember you can only partake of her blessings if you are supportive and why shouldnt you be? .

MSY:
@Spoilt ,
It is really interesting that you put the racial spin on this. If this happened to you, would you think it was because you are black ? Or because you did something wrong ? You also state that Do you have any proof of this statement ? or this is just your opinion ?
But you see, it does matter. That is why every country in the world wants to know when you are bringing in or taking out huge funds. If it didn't matter, they wouldn't want to know. I don't have the time to go into the ecomonics of it for you, but rest assured that it matters.

And another thing, i don't care what you do, $92,000 IS A LOT OF MONEY !!!!

i didnt emphasize race dearie. i emphasized the fact she's an immigrant some posters misinterpreted that to mean black. im not kidding you about the punishment she received. if she had been an american citizen her punishment would have been different. we dont have to agree on that you know.

people often romantize a couple having a joint account. there's a lot of work and trust that should go into operating a joint account. just because you are married doesnt automatically qualify you as candidates for such an account. and having a joint account doesnt mean complete transparency. afterall they probably both have single accounts on the side. just incase!

doa performed so well that an attempt was made on her life! think about that!!!!!! 

dora for president.

instead of whining about it, just go out and work hard and get a better job. she didnt steal the money. she's working for it and you can too!

this problem cuts across tribe. it may not be due to insecurity all the time because a lot of these women being asked to resign dont even earn close to what their husbands make.
men just want them to be home with the kids.

gnature i went through the thread and it was only full of bashing for women who chose to be single mothers. and how imoral it was and blah blah.
no one was really addressing the issues of why a woman would feel she doesnt need a man. what experiences she might have had growing up that would make her do drastic things like get inseminated. i was only saying that a bad polygamous upbringing is one reason.abseentee fathers is another.these girls grow up into women who  think they can as well do it alone.  if you think its derailing too bad. i guess just crucifying the women without trying to understand why they do what they do would be sticking to the topic.  

@babyosisi

polygamy is one reason why some women think they dont need a man. you dont have to see that. you probably werent born into such a home. my point is some girls saw their mothers do it all without much help. thats how polygamy came into this discourse.

when doctors inseminate a woman with her husband's sperm to get her pregnant because the sperm cant swim by itself to the egg is it immoral too?  
cool down oh, gnature!

by bringing in the polygamy angle im not trying to change the topic. we have to thrash out this matter fairly and from all angles. i feel that all the ills people are condemning in a one parent family can also be found in a polygamous setting. so what's the difference?
that said, people have different reasons why they opt to be single parents. when a woman tells you she doesnt need a man,  keep your nose out of  her business because you dont know what her reasons or experiences are. you have no idea what her childhood was like or how her dad's relationship with her mum was like. i used to be very judgemental. now i know better.

GNature:
There are women who are getting pregnant through artificial insemination all in the name of being independent.

Now, tell me, how is the child going to know his father ?

how many single mothers do you know personally, who were inseminated? those are a minority and they have their reasons. which you are in no place to judge.

@gnature
i am trying to tell you that the same men that crucify women who want to be single mothers  are the same men who have numerous wives and children. these women live like single mothers so what's the difference? why the crucifixion? they are the same damn thing.

ikamefa:
trust you! " " to come up with funny examples that na pseudo-single parenthood

at least them sabi their daddy

yes oh. no matter how flat a pancake is, it has 2 sides!  
sometimes men think they know everything.  

money laundering is passing off illegal money as legally acquired wealth. her offence was not declaring it. lets not get it twisted.

single parenthood doesnt mean the child doesnt know who his father is. neither does it mean that the child doesnt spend quality time with his father. each case is different. lets not be judgemental.

and by the way families where the man has a harem of wives and a battalion of children cannot really be considered a 2 parent home. afterall there simply isnt enough of the dad to go round. especially in situations where the wives are housed in different locations and he visits them when he pleases. those women are single mothers.

babyosisi:
If you live here in the states,you know a large number of those immigration and custom agents are blacks to begin with.

how does that help your case? they still consider you an immigrant. i know that the matter would have been handled differently if she wasnt an immigrant. and if she wasnt a nigerian. our reputation as nigerians stinks to the high heavens. so this case was already an open and close one from the get go.

i bought ghana garri cos its all i could find. it was floating in the water.
anyway i just got my consignment from naija. enough to last a lifetime. without garri, i am nothing!

men dating and marrying older women is all the vogue. its starting to spread like an epidemic.
quit complaining and love your woman.
im older than my husband and it has never been an issue. he looks older to start with and he's thrice my size.
we are deliriously happy and thats all that matters.

i know she broke the law by not declaring but lets be real. if this was a white american we wouldnt be having this discussion because that money would not have been confisticated. we are in times where the average american is resentful of all the immigrants coming in and taking all the jobs. any extra offence is magnified beyond measure. she can serve 30 days in prison with probation or whatever.(that would have been more like it). because she wasnt carrying contraband or an illegal substance. she was carrying what i believe was hard earned cash. $ 92,000 for a nurse is no biggie. nigerian nurses especially put in overtime and live in the hospitals to make good cash. whether she was taking it out of the country or into it doesnt matter.[s] last time i checked i can carry my dough in any direction i want.[/s]

it really doesnt make a difference anymore if women choose to be single mothers. these days there's a puppet man in the house who really isnt there. the woman makes all the decisions and does all the work in the home while king kong sits and flips channels. she really does do everything.
why add one more child to the ones i already have. i might as well raise the kids myself.(thats the reasoning) and sometimes i cant blame them. its exhausting being superwoman 24/7.