₦airaland Forum

The way to anyone's heart is respect except to a psychopath. Every one deserves to be respected, a child, a junior, a senior...Every human being!!! Respect is reciprocal....Or have you forgotten so soon? Call it a Western ideology, it won't make it less valid.

People find a way to exert revenge. If someone chooses not to remember my birthday as a form of revenge, it may or may not be disrespectful but it is surely not enough to break a home over it. If it almost broke your home, that is some serious personal issur. I am not saying it is right? It isn't. And it shouldn't be expected from a LOVED ONE. I am sure Your wife would also feel slighted if you choose not to celebrate her on her birthday. So please do not turn into a man thing. It isn't.
Respect is not gender specific. It won't make a man nicer than he chose to be nor would it make a woman less humble if she can't be bothered. We can stop bullshitting ourselves and generations to come.



And no, the way to man's heart is not respect. Can we stop bullshitting ourselves and generation to come for once?

abescom:
You look the respect out of context. When you look a man, you respect him absolutely and that includes not doing things that will hurt him ( deliberately as a form of revenge).

Some of you women ( especially those that have become more western than the west) don't just want to accept the fact that the way to a man's heart is total respect.

The way a marriage works is each person knowing their job and doing their job regardless of whether the other person does theirs or not. A man is to love the woman, absolutely, whether she remembers his birthday or not.

Forgetting someone's birthday has become a respect issue abi.

We shall see where you will take this respect to.

abescom:
You are lucky I am able to find this post. I am just somehow interested in your case because I have been there. My advise to you, don't be fooled by what anyone, including myself will tell you on this forum.

Many of those saying rubbish are not married and those who are married ( few ) are just patching and padding their homes.

Now to the meat of it all.

I need to ask more questions ( I am sorry but it is necessary )

1. Was he a nagger when you were courting?

2. Aside he complaining to your folks about not praying and you forgetting ( deliberately ) his birthday what else has he complained about?

And as for you forgetting his birthday deliberately, that's wrong, very wrong of you. It is a marriage not a competition. This similar issue almost ended my marriage. I am not here to criticise you but that is a no no. You can only win a man back by respecting him. You can wish him happy birthday, make him happy and let him know you didn't like he forgetting your wedding anniversary rather than revenging.

Because of that singular act things have got very bad but not out of control.

Do you mind if we talk over the phone? If you don't mind, send me your number privately. I have followed you. But if you don't mind it here, answer the questions above, we will work out something and by GOD's grace it will end well for your marriage.

Don't give up. The first few years is often like that according to people who know. Your marriage is not the worst and even if it is, it is still very repairable unless you do not love your husband any more or do not want the marriage any more.

Nope, it is not.

Humanistme:
you are derailing this thread. this is about family planning. so many weirdos on nairaland

Don't you feel stu.pid with 'this' logic? It is nauseating. Please don't quote me again

Martin0:
Wait don't see my comment coming from the prospectives of being am a man,am only generalizing what nigerian's think...not every man will keep sides to such believes...


For Example:
•If we have 10 ladies /women only 2 amoung 10 will standup to say they aren't bordered by the basics of male child..

And based on my quote'' according to Dora as I earlier stated !!!

•Will u say that it is against the believes of nigeria having or prioritizing a male child btw two couples? Because I know very well an average nigerian wants a male child likewise verse to women who are into marriage...


The happiness of marriage does not basically lay's on male child but it systematically gives the woman an upper hand,sence of Authority and say in both her marriage and even to the extended family.(Simple)

Why don't we give everyone an award and a box of cupcakes for doing what they are supposed to do?

I did afterwards.

It is a blame game. You sound like

"Oh, it is up to you to keep your marriage secure, just give a male child and passionate sex. If not, your fault your loss"

One, it is not true. Two, everything is on the woman again....lke always!

Martin0:
Hay calm down,don't be in haste to conclude why not do a research on that!!!

Is it because she is dead you think you can misquote her? Fear God

Nothing can secure a marriage where wither or both parties don't give a damn about the institution. It is basically stupid to blame women for everything. Nice try!

Martin0:
Dora Akuyili former NADAC MD once said year's back if you want your marriage to be completely secured

•Have a male child for him
•Cage him with your passionate sex drive
These where her words year's back.

According to her she say ''when a lady is put to bed(hospital)and maybe she was expecting a male child even if she's not disturbed by her husband quest,deep inside her when it fanally becomes a female as against her disires,sometimes she will feel some sence of sadness" And it will be known only to her...



Your husband might not persuade you over a male child but deep inside most ladies because it's the way of Nigerian's and it culture,believ and honors attached to it she will be eager to get one..

You are a thick one.

Can't help your case

davidif:
It is called journalism. If you don't like it well you are free to do your own research to disprove it. Ain't no one holding you back.

Lol. You are funny

Coming from economist doesn't make it true or right. It is an opinion piece even if it were based on statistics, statistics can be interpreted in many ways. Seriously though, it is one of the things I expect you to know if you are a uni student or a graduate.

davidif:
What is this one talking about? This is a report from the economist (i even cited them). One of the most widely read and respected news publications in the world. I am sorry but I will take their opinion before some nonsensical rambling from a guy on nairaland. Good day.

People take nonsense sha. God forbid bad thing.

You have never been very smart, I will give you that. Local champion

tosyne2much:
Go and sit down jawe and stop carrying another person's matter on your head

You think this is a joke? May God forgive you!

kn23h:
Even if they are nko?

As if we don't know that most of Badoo criminals are Ibos who are preparing for Christmas.

mrhubby

If it turned out to be sexual indiscretion, don't excuse yourself o. I pray it isn't.

Still wondering why you can't walk into a teaching hospital

Great job! Please continue to try harder. Competition is quite tough.

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Moderators Please Let It Reach Front Page Am Begging You Moderators Plzzzz...

Yes,Rape is very funny, isn't it?

Mtcheeww

tosyne2much:
Please what are you really driving at?

Any sane person will know that I only made a sarcastic statement, so why saying I know who I mess around with?

Why then did you quote me?


Frankly, I can see why he directed such question to you? I actually laughers when I realised he mentioned some females. Do you see him directing the question to certain females? That should tell you something babe. He wouldn't even dare to begin with, he knows those he can mess around with.

I believe everyone is entitled to their opinions but there are some that just naive or Stu.pid. Yours is basically naive. Try and know more about life. You don't have to be old to know a bit about it. You can live it through books then maybe we could have this conversation again

MzEddytan:
my post has nothing to do with the op, I've not even taken my time to know what the topic is all about. I only answered Tosyne2much question he directed to me that's all besides everyone is entitle to his or her opinion you shldnt expect you and I to think and act the same way my lady. What face me may back you.

dammyluv911


Tell your friend to get a life, she doesn't have one as it is

Love ko, don't have boyfriends ni. Bunch of id.iots.

I don't think I am wrong. What I think is that you don't know the world as it is because if you do, you would want to break the OP's head than answer his sick question. If you did know, you wouldn't make assumption in what you would do or not do. If you did know, you won't sum it all up to ‘I don't dwell in the past'.

MzEddytan:
you think so but you're wrong. I dont dwell in the past. you hurt yourself more when you find it difficult to forgive. I forgive so easily and am very proud of that though I'm so conscious of the people around me now in order not to find myself in a messy situation again.

once bitten twice shy

Nah, I think it is the lie society has told us over and over agina that some have unfortunately fallen for it.


It has never been true and will never be. Women may be more empathic than men but it doesn't mean that they are not capable of as much evil as any other thumb being.

HungerBAD:
This is terrible.

And the baby has not yet been found?

Once upon a time,it was almost a most that all women had compassionate hearts.

I don't know where it went wrong.

But now,but women have the hearts of steel and have no problem doing things,so unimaginable 30 years ago that you cannot help but wonder.

Mothers are kind. Mothers are compassionate. Mothers are wonderful.

But now?Mothers are indefinable.

You carry a child for 9 months,and then sell the baby like a piece of "Gbanjoo" Shirt.

This is unforgivable

Good that I am not your daughter

You are sick

ChopBellefull:
As long as she was not a virgin... Although rape z unfair and illegal, buh der will still b "thank God" coming frm d girl's mouth

I like people like you who haven't yet figured out life

Good for you

MzEddytan:
lols...sure I will forgive you because there are many other things that makes someone (me) happy. So dwelling in the past will only hurt me more and deprive me of the happy I really deserve.

Nah, karma will come to play

Brace up

tosyne2much:
God will protect my daughters from the hands of sex starved guys

You have nieces, you have cousins and you will have daughter (s).

So let's pray hard

tosyne2much:
Itnieces, never happen cos I don't even have a sis

Hey, let's pray it happens then

tosyne2much:
Of course, I will

Remember forgiveness is from the Lord

Would you forgive a guy that raped your sisters anally and virginally?

tosyne2much:
Come and answer this question.. Would you ever forgive me if I rape you?

Cc

Nickymezor
Pocohantas
MzEddytan
Ishilove

These guys are as sick as their female counterparts. Could you believe that some women actually answered.

pocohantas:
Sick threads everywhere!

Soon you will ask if she would forgive if you use gold circle instead of durex. Or if you cum outside instead of inside...

Smh!

He really needs to mind his business

I don't give people my underwear wash but frankly, I can't see why it is wrong to give others your underwear to wash. Call it shamelessness, I just don't get it. The bodily fluid is no different from sweat. It is what it is. Can I wash other people's underwear? Yes, I have done it before. I can also wash bloodied panties because seriously, it is all blood to me.

Fat not poo

Basic biology

nasuite:
The irony of life is this: "that parabolic curve is full of poo", yet men derive joy in it...

Does that mean I should die because of kids that have chosen not to listen? Being old doesn't mean I should have no regards for self preservation.

kalvoken:
At old age, I wonder the kind of power you w'ld have apart from your children's.