₦airaland Forum

Love the bolded

pocohantas:
... Yes I can marry a man like my father. He has his good and bad side like every other human being. His bad doesn't include laziness, infidelity and violence.

... Nobody wants to marry a poor person, but life and love has a way of changing things for us.

... I don't hate my fellow women, maybe your mother and sisters do. Till I get to understand why some men think marriage is between a man, his wife and his mother, I will continue to consider this a stupid question. I am sure he would give a weird look if I ask him if it's okay for my father to live with us permanently. The only exception is if there is a sensible reason for this. I wouldn't allow my mother live with us permanently either.

... I don't care if my ex dates my friend. He is an ex for a reason...

... I can give anybody that needs help my money. You can be a man, woman or even an animal. I have given severally...

No excuse ke? She needs to stop talking.

Crescentmoon, You are yet to mention the prognosis of a doctor of one of the teaching hospitals in the country.

Sex education taken too far

Thou shall not abuse court process

tunde82seidat
psalmsjob

English guys! She wasn't referring to the baby father, she never did. She could be referring to choice to have unprotected sex, at least commend her for not claiming that it was a mistake

OrestesDante:
They will never talk about that. "Men are always the bad ones"

Is that even a question?

quote author=Khonifer post=57932185]We both know that women who don't drop their father's name are the minority, so you probably not have anything to worry about.

Now I'm wondering. Does keeping her father's name make a woman less married to her man?[/quote]

Why don't you wait till deliver up the baby and do a DNA test?


MemphisRaynes

lisbonabdulahi

This is not your fault. You couldn't help her. Love or hate, nothing would have changed her. Stop blaming yourself. Do what you believe is best for you and your kids.

I hope you are telling the truth sha. Ignore peeps like fitness doctor with his spritual nonsense.

I don't think MTN can do anything without a court order or the police getting involved.

chrisj2:
My local bank knows about it and the Customer service of the bank also know but they say they are investigating. Investigating what? The person's phone number came up on my alert and I do not use MTN. I do not have a bank card and I have only had the online account for a few days before the person used my account to buy top up - I was actually in flight when the first fraud occured...

I think the MTN top up system might be too lax or the interchange between the banks and mobile networks for remote top up might be too easy to encourage fraud.

I might post the person's number if I do not get a response in due course. I wanted MTN to investigate and cancel his SIM number as they should know the registered owner of mobile number and they can see his top up history - I sent them one of the alerts.

Sorry, I misquoted you.

Wolfbrother:
What was your point tho? ... we are discussing kidnappers you are talking about politicians ....

You only have to wonder how some people think.

HausaOverlord:
what of other people who have been robbed in dia personal homes

Ermmm....Who diagnosed him?

She could be lying or telling the truth. Wouldn't know

Anxiety, sleep issues etc etc

You are over thinking everything. Stop thinking too much about those dreams. Also stop being complacent in every facet of your life if you don't want your life to deteriorate. You are giving the dreams the power to control your life. Stopdo


Please pray a lot too. Don't go for any deliverance o, you have the power to deliver yourself. You could sleep with a recording of your favorite prayer verses playing in your ears or in your room.

What name did your parents give to you on your naming ceremony?

Why do you wish to be known by names you were not given and names that are not on your birth certificate

Mumben:
I am married with four kids, very gentle and easy going. My immediate younger brother's wife calls me by my name. I am 4 years older than her. Is this RIGHT? If not, how do i correct her politely? Matured responses pls.

If you are 30, why then do you write like a year old baby?

Answer my question, should your gf poison you out of love when you act like a mor.on?

jakandeola:
u bich am not a boy a guy dat pass 30 why did u say I act S slowpoke is it a crime to dicipline my woman wit luv abeg get lost before I decend on u

You were basically a maid. Why would you move in with her in the first place? She might have paid your mum's medical bill and donated money on your behalf, she had no right to have denied your fair wage. You sold yourself too cheap and for what? It is not like you are even a good actress sef.

Get mad! What is holding you? Mtchewww


Answer my question, boy Should your gf poison you when you act like a mor.on?

jakandeola:
is like u wamt me to get mad at u

What should your gf do when you act like a mo.ron? Poison you?

jakandeola:
I kip sayin I neva like to beat a woman but sometimes is necessy dey let u get mad at dem. I neva wish u beat to injure but women act as babies. is a love beat. as u beat dem they luv u more

What should we do about these states? When most of them are cursed anyways?

tee83:
1-QATAR: The Gulf state with a population of 1.7 million topped the list of the world’s richest Muslim countries. Qatar had booked a probable gross domestic product per capita of more than 88,919 dollars for 2011. The country is considered to be one of the fastest growing economy in the world. The main drivers for this rapid growth are attributed to ongoing increases in production and exports of natural gas, oil and petrochemicals. Qatar, which will host the 2022 Football World Cup, is also in the running for the 2020 Olympics Games. It has been a high-profile investor in recent times. The government is also pouring money into infrastructure, including a deepwater seaport, an airport and a railway track, to make the country a better host for business and 2022 World Cup.

https://defence.pk/pdf/threads/10-richest-muslim-countries-in-the-world-by-yahoo-finance.254614/

http://www.strongestinworld.com/richest-muslim-countries/

You tire me. I have heard you.

sino:
I understand your point of view, and I know you know that not only beating constitute domestic abuse, there are other ways in which a husband can abuse his wife. Islam frowns on any form of abuse generally as well as specifically in marriage. As it had already been pointed out earlier, this beating is only symbolic, and cannot be said to be an abuse. It is said that it should be a single strike with a chewing stick or a scarf, it is not meant to hurt, cause pain or bruise, and should not be carried out for any other issue except in cases of infidelity or something similar, and not with regards to mundane issues like cooking, washing of clothes or any form of misunderstandings that is usually associated with two different people living together. Again some other school of thought said such actions although permissible is not compulsory, and not a religious obligation.

The reason why historical context is important, is the fact that, women were treated badly, beaten and chained, they had no status prior to the emergence of Islam. Islam came and corrected this, and instructed man to treat woman with respect and kindness. Light beaten as explained, would be seen as absolutely incredulous compared to what was obtainable before, so an Arab, who had been used to inhuman torture of women, and after accepting Islam, would not only realize that a woman is very special in Islam, but also know that he is never meant to hurt her even when she sleeps with another man in her matrimonial bed!

I would want you not to take it personal, except you envisage cheating in your marriage (and I pray against such), seek a righteous man, and also be righteous, you have nothing to worry about. No good Muslim I know see this verse as a licence to abuse his wife!

Academic analysis would bring to fore, facts, as well as objective interpretations devoid of biases to a large extent. There may be some elements of subjectivity, but still, you cannot deny the facts presented.

Hey! don't conclude for me. You don't know me. It is being sane to conclude that you won't let another human hit you.

sino:
It seems you are already concluding you are going to be a handful for your husband? Anyway, I do not think the narration is focused on comparing misbehaviour to affliction, rather, it is the reward which a husband or WIFE who demonstrates patience would receive at the end of the day.

And if we are to go with your comparison with affliction, then the husband is also being compared to Firaun (la), and that is indeed a despicable human being, hence, patience should be the attitude of the spouses in a marriage, regardless of the misdemeanour exhibited!

That is not true

I was a teenager once. Most teenageers knew and understood the consequences. They may not know about sex education but they knew the consequences, the backlash etc. I don't believe that it takes one to be 18 to understand enough about life. In fact, most countries are beginning to bring down the minimum age.

verygudbadguy:
Teenager/Under age... They are seen as "not old enough to make positive decisions for themselves".... Once you are 18, you bear the consequences of your action.

Kanu's wife married him at 18.. Omotola too.

How is she a victim in this situation? Was she raped or what?

verygudbadguy:

Did you read my post?

I just mentioned that we need to learn how to attack situations rather than the victims.

Correcting which includes light beating

Please don't use the historical context excuse, historical context made alcohol Haram gradually but couldn't ban physical abuse the same way without leaving a caveat. Like I had stated, I am not buying it. I can take it personal, you are not the one being told to be beaten lightly.


Did the domestic abuse cases involved light beating or the serious one? Show me one that involves light beating. In fact, how many countries (Although I know that there aren't any Islamic countries on this planet Earth) that claim to practice Sharia define domestic abuse to include light beating?

Academic opinions aren't enough. They are based on individual understanding and they conflict all the time.



Please note, I know all about divorce and arbitration in Islam but we aren't talking about that.

sino:
The prescription is in no way giving the right to anger to one gender, it only gave directives on the steps a husband can take in correcting (or showing displeasure of) a wife's infidelity. I believe this is not an issue, provided the husband and wife are righteous people in the first instance (there would be no case of infidelity). You must also put into consideration the historical context as well as culture i.e, the pre-Islamic and Arab's way of life. Thus my argument is; instead of trying to give a "new" interpretation and rubbishing well established narrations based on personal whims and desires, let's look at the full details, preferably academic, in analyzing the proper understanding of the verse in question.

I had provided a link where information about how marriages were dissolved on the basis of domestic violence, which were carried out by Islamic traditional Jurists.

Again, what Islam wants is for both parties to solve their problems, and divorce should be the last resort even in the case of infidelity, thus the following verse to the verse in question reads:

"And if you fear dissension between the two, send an arbitrator from his people and an arbitrator from her people. If they both desire reconciliation, Allah will cause it between them. Indeed, Allah is ever Knowing and Acquainted [with all things]". (Q4:35)

It should also be noted that the arbitrators are the ones saddled with desiring reconciliation, and not the husband and wife. This would go a long way in achieving a true reconciliation.

Again, I must state clearly, this does not in any way support domestic violence or wife beating!

I must quickly add that some may raise a question on what steps a wife can take if the tables are turned. It should be noted that Islam had given authority to the husband, but has also placed enormous responsibilities with respect to his dealings with his family, especially his wife, so that he doesn't transgress, but if he does, the wife would need to seek an higher authority in addressing such issues although she can also admonish her husband. Thus she has the liberty to go to the Amir or the Qadi (judge) (or an equivalent), this would protect her as well as her rights, and the issue would be addressed accordingly.

Look at the comparison for goodness sake, affliction me?

sino:
The Prophet (SAW) said:
‘Whoever remains patient with regards to the misbehaviour of his WIFE, Allah will give him a reward as great as Ayub’s (Job) for his affliction
. Likewise, if a woman keeps patient with regards to the misbehaviour of her husband, Allah will give her a reward as great as Aishah’s Bint Bint Muzahim, (the Pharaoh’s wife).’ (Al-Hakim in Al-Mustadrak – Transmitters of this Hadith are trustworthy) (Major Sins [translators: Abdul-Hamid A. Eliwa Ali M. As-Sawi, Wa’il A. Shehab, Mahmud AI-Qastawi] by Imam Shamsu ed-Deen Dhahabi, page 136)

That is not true. Please don't judge.

Amarabae:
A lady thhave the boldness to wish her father(who is her blood) Dead CAN NEVER spare the husband.

I still don't get it. I doubt if your submissions are relevant to the issue at hand.

Light beating was mentioned twice, once in the Quran and once in the Hadith. It is clear that it is what it is. However, it cannot be possible. At the end of the day, we can say that the impossibility is exactly the reason behind the provision. Either way, that prescription is all shades of abomination ever it is conceivable or not. It is basically saying that one gender has a right to anger. I am not buying it.

sino:
The Prophet (SAW) was reported to have said, the strong is the one who is able to overcome his anger. Can you imagine how possible that is?! You are furious, angry at someone, you feel like squeezing the life out of someone, but then you calm yourself down, and overlook the whole thing. I've seen it happen, never say it is impossible. Husband and wife are meant to live together in love and mercy...

Secondly, what Islam teaches is to find solutions, not create more problems, Islam doesn't want you to just divorce yourselves even when adultery is the issue. Can you imagine that advising your wife is the first approach?! You fear that your wife is committing adultery, and Allah (SWT) says, talk to her, admonish her, give her lectures...Which man in this present day do that?! I ask you, is it possible?! We are not talking about your day to day nagging, bickering back and forth or some annoying behaviours, there are narrations which addresses that as well as another Qur'anic verse.

“Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Messenger saying: A believing man should not hate a believing woman (wife); if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.” (Sahih Muslim Book 8, Hadith 3469)

The Prophet (SAW) said:
‘Whoever remains patient with regards to the misbehaviour of his wife, Allah will give him a reward as great as Ayub’s (Job) for his affliction. Likewise, if a woman keeps patient with regards to the misbehaviour of her husband, Allah will give her a reward as great as Aishah’s Bint Bint Muzahim, (the Pharaoh’s wife).’ (Al-Hakim in Al-Mustadrak – Transmitters of this Hadith are trustworthy) (Major Sins [translators: Abdul-Hamid A. Eliwa Ali M. As-Sawi, Wa’il A. Shehab, Mahmud AI-Qastawi] by Imam Shamsu ed-Deen Dhahabi, page 136)

“O you who have believed, it is not lawful for you to inherit women by compulsion. And do not make difficulties for them in order to take [back] part of what you gave them… And LIVE WITH THEM IN KINDNESS. For if you dislike them – perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.” – Quran 4:19 (Sahih International)

Thirdly, a wicked and bad husband needs no Qur'anic or hadith backings before he carries out his dastardly acts, and that is why it is allowed to divorce on the basis of domestic abuse, and even the man is punished and made to pay compensation to the woman according to the Shari'ah.

Whining lil slave, stop acting ridiculous. Stop seeking attention, we don't care about your views. Carry them and go shove it down someone else's throat. You won't be missed! Get lost!

FYI, I would actually beat you up if I could, only beacause you are annoying.


I don't blame you, I blame those who can't move past your history and ignore your ass.

tintingz:
Lol, please you're making joke on yourself.

Stop this irony.


Was this a debate in the first place?

If your catholic friend is considering Islam, that is his choice, people converts.

And I never said debate is dawah, in fact I said debate and dawah(preaching) are not the same.

Hahahaha, I laugh at your gibberish.

Anyways, I'm not impressing any girl, I have other things to think of than impress girls.

Nairaland is an open forum for everyone, i have freedom to post anything as long as I'm not breaking any rules, if you have any problem with my posts come and beat me.

You love ISIS, which makes Saudis your Lords, your gods, your masters and you.....A whining lil slave.


I debate all the time. This is not debate. It is ridicule.

Being a better person is part of dawah, it is part of Jihad. FYI, a friend just told him he is considering Islam...I didn't even have to encroach in his space and tell him why catholiscm doesn't make sense at all, we talked and now he is considering Islam. He wouldn't be the first one. Expressing mere opinions def in issues is dawah on its own. So don't come and give me that BS about debate being dawah when all you do is ridicule.
Wait, do I sound stvpid to you? Stop telling me about a religion you don't care about. It is very rude.

You are in a space created for Muslims. You can't be a Muslim and the same time ridicule Islam and Muslims. Carry your wahala and go. We have heard you. Na by force. If you are looking for a way to appear intelligent and impress that girl, congratulations you haven't. If she is smart, she will not give a damn about your childish attempt to gain popularity.

tintingz:
I don't have anything to do with ISIS, it is your Saudi lords that have things to do with them.

I'm African.


This man don vex, you gat no chill man, we have not even argue yet you're already in rage mode. Debate is accepted everywhere in every field, there is nothing wrong in debating. Debate is different from preaching which "dawah" in Islam, preaching is most times filled with bigotry. It is the duty of Muslims to do dawah as part of jihad. Don't tell me you have stop doing dawah?

I'm not preaching any religion, did you see me preaching any religion?

If you said I should keep everything to myself, that you don't go about ridiculing people's belief, why do you have problem with my posts? Why not keep off my back?

Obsession you say, I am glad you now understand how women feel when you keep pestering them from relationship

whitebeard:
non has ever normally loved me, they are always obsessed, trust me it hard to deal with, besides I am not calling her a slut, the bolded means I ain't accepting her back, and yes I loved her but she is new to relationship stuff, people like her can get easily swayed, that's what happened to her...!!