₦airaland Forum

What a Silly question!!!!

My answer to your question is: why then did you chose to publish this your question in English language?? Abi your Yorubal language, wouldn't it do?  Besides, is English language your mother tongue?  Once you are able to answer these question then will you be able to realise why anyone could sing or publish their music in any language they fancy or prefer.  Music, they say is a universal language though you may not understand the wordings/language used but hey, the beats goes on!!!  It means, you rock it anyway whether you know/understand the wordings or not.  Grow up, young man!!!

THANKS, THANKS AND THANKS, AGAIN for your support  - Nwaka!

It was lovely to read your publication and may God bless you for recognising the double standards that exist in our cultures - thus unfair and unjust both in the eyes of man and God.  Only those who support and part-take in cheating others of their freedoms and dignity will condemn this publication even though they are aware of the existence of these evils perpetrated on women.  Thank God, the world is getting smaller and smaller soon, these archaic cultures and behaviours will become history.  Who would have thought today that a black man would hold the most powerful office (the White House) in the world?   Don't worry these things shall come to pass.

Oh my God, where have I heard this crap before?  There's a lot of brainwashing going on here!!   Hey Amamat, you don't need a man to be a woman, Ok! This has been proven time and time again.  We all came into this world alone and must leave it alone (I said MUST).  I don't know who is emotionally blackmailing and brainwashing you with that idea.  Look, God made them man and woman, ok!  lf a woman is incomplete without a man so is a man incomplete without a woman.  God had since shown these ignorant chauvinists that men and women are equal but… different yet, they chose to be blind and deaf.  Now tell me, if they are not equal - how can a man have a baby without a woman and vice versa, eh?  You need the two - you need the X and Y chromosomes to form a human being which is the greatest creation and the greatest achievement any human being can attain besides, God has told us that he created us all in his own image (man and woman) yet these people are making some women feel inadequate for their own selfish needs.  No Gods children, are second best as all things are bright and beautiful.
No, you don't need them. In fact, men desperately need us more than we need them - that's why men are always the first to seek a partner in situations involving singleton e.g. deaths, divorces etc they are usually the first in the queue quickly searching for partner to replace their previous one - check it out!!!! For women, it would take a long haul to consider going through that again i.e. to consider taking on another man.  So be proud of yourself and what you have achieved as a young woman because you only need them to pro-create your babies, period.  From now on please, don't let any man make you feel inadequate or bad about yourself for not being married.  Marriage is not compulsory, it’s choice – if you like, you marry else, live your life and have your babies with any man you fancy and can be a good father to your children, that’s all.  You see, you can achieve anything you want in life if you set your heart on it - you can have education, investments, cars, houses or even your own children without being married to anybody.  God gave you the freed to do what you want therefore you don't need a man to achieve these things in life.   Problem is, you are in a culture that intimidates women.  A culture that never supports or celebrates a woman's achievement for their own selfish needs (to control women) -  if your culture is going to stifle you from attaining your God given potentials, the best thing to do is pack your bag and find your way out of that bondage in order to discover the happiness and peace of mind they'd so long denied you.  Hopefully, you would find a guy that respect and support your freedom to be who you want  to be and both of you would set out creating the kind of world you want to be in to achieve your God given potential as a woman thus, a whole and complete woman.

Hi Kx

I suggest you advice your friend to muje Malam - Mooooove oooooon, budy!

To live with an aggressive man or woman is the last thing any responsible person that love him/herself should do.  If you love yourself, get out of this marriage now before its too late for you.  No one should suffer abuse both verbal, physical, emotional and financial in any relationship let alone marriage no matter what.  It does not matter how much you spent marrying the QUEEN or the degree of sacrifices you rendered to the KING.  What matters in life is, love, happiness, having your sanity intact and great peace of mind.  You see, women come and go so do men.  There are millions of well enlightened and educated women and men searching for love, better look for them and they are there waiting.  Problem is, people need something else but blindly look for something different and they usually get it.  Honestly, a man who is ready to get married should ask himself - what am I looking for in a woman?  Do I need a wife or a prostitute?? It's your choice.

In my experience, most men need a wife but they always end up with a prostitute which suggest, many of them had not really been honest with themselves.  Men are very observant and curious creatures and they love excitement.  For example curiousity landed ADAM in trouble (Apple eating!lol!!!!!!!!!!). Today, who are being seen visiting the massage parlours?  Men.  And who are being seen watching naked women one table and paying for it (table dancing) still, men.  Well, I rest my case because daughters of Eve maybe weak and small but they are powerful - they have the power to bring any man down (not physically), doubt it?? Check our history! We can weave our way into any thing we want.  If we could weave our way into Adam's head and got him eat the apple, and we weaved our way into the biblical Sampson's heart  and mesmerise him and we focussed all the way to the WHTE HOUSE, the most powerful office in the world ,  hmmm the Lewensky affair, you better respect us. You see,  men's brain are not inside their heads rather between their legs and that's the trouble.  That's why they get trapped into trouble because we know what works and we apply it. So, brother I suggest you run, run, and run as there are many fishes in the ocean and the next time you want a wife please, look for a God fearing woman from a God fearing home.  As for you, seek God because you seem an unGodly person too hence, your behaviour - jumping so quickly into a marriage without proper courtship and without listening to friends and families who could see all the corners your "loved up" eyes could not reach.  So better luck next time! Good luck and don't let any woman deceive you again. God bless and good bye!

To Racheal108

Too bad!!!! Because you want a quick fix, an urgent answer to your needs that's why you think consulting a juju man will help, is it?  It won't my dear. In fact, you will meet with lots of trials and mayhem in your life than you bargained for.

What you need is alot of prayers and strong belief and faith in Jesus Christ every thing will be alright I can assure you.  Probably, you are one of these new immigrants in the West who thought living in the West is a bed of roses and has never before been through or seen their economic crisis hence this desperation for a quick answer.  Well, I say to you take heart the storm will eventually fade away.  Just believe in God whatever you seek, you will find because God has told us to believe in him "To ask, that it shall be given to us; to seek, that we should find and to knock, that the doors shall be open to us.  That he had clothed the lilies of the valley, fed the birds of air and what made us think he can not provide for us? So, why not put your faith in God than in man?
To get anything you ask from God, you must first of all believe in God, confess your sins, have a clean and clear heart, kneel down and pray and pray and pray (not having sin and evil thoughts in your heart against people who have done you wrong and then expect God to hear your prayers for success - no it does not work like that.  You can not ask God in your prayers to kill and destroy your enemies and at the same time expect him to help you and make you successful.  No, our God is a fair and just God - he does not listen to negative prayers because, he has asked us to love our neighbours and pray for our enemies (though, it is a difficult thing to do but you must do it with clear conscience and clean heart for God to accept your prayers) ok!  Kneel down with a sincere heart and pray siezelessly God will answer your prayers, you better believe it!

This is one of the reasons why Nigerian's employment laws (if any should be reviewed and rectified).  There are no serious protection for any employee in Nigeria and if there is, who would effectively enforce it  Nigerians have been failed in every aspect of their lives by the Hausas and Yorubas leaders who have been taking turns in destroying our country.  They have failed everyone, failed in doing the jobs they were sworn in to do because, their eyes are so focussed on the Honey pot, instead.   

You see, nothing is impossible in Nigeria however, your case is a sorry case because, you've not been in employment with them long enough - at least one year besides, there are no legal structures in place to protect you or any employee in Nigeria e.g no Legal Aid to make this Goliath of a Bank kiss your ar--e and if there is, who will enforce it as there are bribery and corruption everywhere.

I know where you are coming from.  This has not only caused you and your familiy immense stress but also severe financial hardship yet, your employment situation is uncertain.  I suggest you get the policies of the Bank and review it with a strong employment lawyer to see if there are loop holes in their policies and whether what there is as employment laws in Nigeria could protect you and others in terms of re-instating you back to work or compensate you for loss of earnings as well as pay your medical and legal bills else, move on because, I don't think you have enough resource to fight them considering what you've been through. Others here may suggest differently but, good luck anyway.

Yes, it can happen in Nigeria if the Head of State is truely God fearing and bold enough to take the Bull by the horn - to show these shameless rogues who are ruining our blessed country where they belong - in the pits.

To be able to do this, he has to work with people shares his dreams.  People hungry enough in  restoring back Nigerians' honour and pride.  He has to set out the structures to deal with those who will attempt to deviate from the rules because there are many of them waiting in the wings for an opportunity to strike.  Therefore, humiliate and sack them publicly (just like this Zambian ex-leader's wife) including those unscrupulous lawyers eager to defend them at trials.  Introduce laws that places life ban on them/their relatives from taking public posts.  Nigeria need drastic measures to restore public faith in all aspects of government.  Also, Nigerian internal security is rubbish and should be seriously looked at in order to achieve some kind of confidence in our country.  It's not only those with inflence that need security in Nigeria, every Nigerian is entitled to that right, and to feel well secured in their own country.  It saddens me that living and working abroad, most Nigerian can boast of being more secured in a foreign land than in their own blessed country.  Shame, shame and shame on you all so called leaders of Nigeria.    There are lots of intimidation/bullying among Nigerians - political assasinations, armed robbery etc.  Nigeria has enough police and the military to protect its citizens yet, they are suffering, why  The thought of going to bed and waking up with different gangs of merciless armed robbers (who feel you own them something) on your door at night is frightening and no body cares.   We have enough laws in place but no one bothers to effectively enforce the laws because, these serious crimes are not directly perpetrated on those with power and influence in Nigeria because, they cocooned themselves with security henchmen as a result, who cares about the suffering of poor Nigerians.  To them I say wait, you can run but you can't hide - your day shall come just like those before you and just like this Zambians Mrs ex-leader's wife.

Yes, tithing is good - it's good to give back to God what you received. Yes, in the Old Testament, we are expected to give 10% of our income but for many including myself, it is a high mountain to climb and not many people can afford it as it is difficult to do.  For example, assuming I earn $1200 a month and my rent or mortgage is $800.00 per month plus other bills e.g gas, electicity, water, bus fares or petrol for my car to go to work and food on the table - now tell me what's left for my tithe??  Or should I pay my 10% tithe first and then go tell my landlord or mortgage lenders that I use their rent/mortgage money for my church tithe, eh!! They will kick you a--e in this cold weather and you will learn your priorities well in advance. 

Look, because Jesus understood the hardship old testament tithing created for most people in biblical days including his poor parents (remember his father was a carpenter and mother a housewife), come the New Testament where we are instructed to give as we can -  "According to our means - Acts. 11:29; As God has prospered us - I Cor. 16:2; At the same time, it will be undeterred by our means whether large or small, because giving will be counted a privilege - II Cor. 8:3, 4; it will be regular, systematic and without fuss or osetentation - I Cor. 8:3 and Matt 6:2-4; It will often be costly Luk. 21:4; Frequently generous beyond measure II Cor. 8:2; And to the limit of our resources II Cor. 8:3;
In fact, it will set no limits I John. 3:16; It will be joyful, cheerful, ungrudging, an act of the will, without external pressure, and a matter of individual determination Luk. 21:4; II Cor. 8: 2-4, 8; 9: 5,7; It will look for nothing in return Luk. 14:12; It will take every possible form II Cor. 9:11; It will be seen as one of the reasons why we go to work and earn money and have possessions - we gain in order to give away Eph. 4:28" (Bible Guidelines - Finding out God's plan, spiritual direction and personal guidance from the Bible by: Derek Prime, published Christain Focus Publications Ltd, Tain, Ross-Shire, ISBN1 871676 26 6).

So as everyone can bear me witness, your rarely hear these unscrupulous so called Bishops and pastors cite these chapters and versies  from bile -  no they will only hammer and hammer Malachi , a tool for brainwashing the illitrates and ignorants.  Its all tactical, to make as much money as possible from the poor.   Evangelism is nothing these days but a money making machine for rogue Bishops and pastors - qualified and unqualified and that's the reason many are being investigated in the West. Imagine Pastor Matthew Ashimolow of Nigeria was being fined upto £200,000 (Google him and check his Wikipeadia if you like) by the Charity Commission of great Britian for such act (Financial Irregularities)and these supposed to be men of God who should know better. Imagine him having an £80,000 car in the name of God.  Jesus, whom the so called Pastors and Bishops should be emulating never had a proper shoe on his feet let alone a car, talk of an £80,000 car - what an abuse of power and abuse of peoples intelligence? It only takes common sense and a bit of intelligence to weave oneself off the claws of these shameless Pastors and Bishops however, despite these sad stories putting doubts in your mind, don't forget to give as generously as you can and, according to your capabilities.  Remember, it can be given in any form, not necessarily via tithing of 10% that's why Jesus Christ came to make the law less harsh for us, haleluya,  in Jesus name I pray, Amen,

Quoting Fegflu


It is Only in Nigeria that u need qualification to do everything. the world has change far away from such ideas. Experience is wat matters now. Go out of the country and c if qaulification is an issue 2 get a job.


Please get a life - Fegflu!  I wonder where you got your information. 

Yes, you can get a job without education or qualification but its the bottom-of-the-pile kind of jobs you will get. Got it Do you know what I mean  Toilet cleaning, Farm work (vegetable and apple picking jobs - real  back breaking jobs ok!), Super market Till and shelves filling jobs (if you're lucky), So, go get that your President's job without education and qualification - in your dreams man, in your dreams!!!

Automated Salary Payment: A phenomena? Has it come too soon??

Hmmm!!! Another masquerade for poor Nigerians though a good idea but not a priority at all and not what Nigerians need right now or is it?  So we should be glad for this development, should we? 

When will those that run Nigeria ever grow up?  And when will the Hausas and Yorubas who have been taking turns in running Nigeria down, realise how backwards they've pushed her for their own selfish gains since the civil war?  Thirty years on after this war,  Nigeria still has no effective infrastructures:  No respectable National Hospitals for a country with over 150 million people; the roads are in a sorry state and are still the way the British colonials left them.  The educational system is: zero - lecturer are still not getting paid/on time, students unrest, young people spend more than 8 years studying for a degree due to these unrest in the campuses (what a waste of their lives) yet, those running Nigeria and their supporter have all their children educated abroad in Britain, America with our money etc  Shame, shame, shame to all of you and they better believe it, their day shall come.

Hi Wallie

Thanks for your accurate repressentation of the truth.  Its not only the Igbos Obama is trying to recruit here, it everyone - Yoruba, Housa etc. The initial commentators presented a one sided story as if Obama and his people are only interested/recruiting Igbo soldiers.  Also as if there's some thing special about Igbo soldiers when compared to  others.  Whatever, its all good, its all good but who ever took the chance shoud watch their backs.

Hmmm! Sounds plausible but there's a price.

Please don't be tempted by this offer.  Afghnistan your next port of call and you may not be back alive to enjoy the citizenship,  beware! Many are dying there and their bodies brought back in bags for burial.  Its up to you!

It has always been the tactics with people in power to use and abuse the under dogs. They created the mess, let them sort it out.  I rest my case as seeing is believing.

Hi my sister Ndipe

I have read your commentary but it does not surprise me on bit.  I brought a 3 year old child with me on my way out of Africa to the West and, into a multi-racial relatioship.  Now, a well developed and beautiful woman in her own right - highly educated with a good job in the City.  At the time of her upbringing, my inlaws were even worse than yours but I stood my grounds for what I believe in.  I ruled the roast in my house and there was nothing my husband could have done to stop me so, he left me with it.  I would not spare the rod and spoil my own child (at the end of the day, whose the looser ) By that I mean, there was discipline in the house and there was some spanking too but I stopped doing so when she was 10 years old.  From my own experience, by the time a child is 10yrs old they had already gone through their formative years, have learnt most things they need to know - most basic behaviours they can muster in preparation for teenage and adulthood.  Any other thing is just an icing on the cake.  How could children learn if not by teaching and how could parents correct errors/mistakes if not by discipline, I wonder?  My daughter turned out well. It still surprises some members of my black community here how I did it - how I managed to raise a child that listens to her parents, never answered back, ran errands, had respect for elders and even called and still does call any black person she considers her seniors (whatever race or tribe) Auntie or Uncle.  Such was her upbringing.  Yes, I was strict with her and that's what made her who she is today.  My inlaws called me all sorts of names - I was even the worst mother that ever existed because I would not bow to their pressures.  Now, that she's turned out well, the tongues that said negative things about me are now congratulating me for a job well done, how fickle people are? Then think of, if it had all gone wrong who would have been blamed? 

You did the right thing in banning the sleep overs as I believe children can learn bad behaviours or even get abused from such interactions.  It is true the sleep over were with their cousins but think of when friends invites them to sleep overs, you are not there and do not know everything about the family? Their beliefs, values and moral stance. There could be child molester/abuser in it you don't even know about and there you are exposing your children to risk in the name of socialising with friends - the world would not forgive you for allowing such interactions.  Mine never left my house to sleep over/out (I never even allowed visiting her cousins without me being their) even for once except when she went on a camp with her Brownies group and also when she left home for University, that was it.  Having said that, I want you to understand that raising Children is not easy, especially here in the West as you can see.
You see, a child that would listen would listen and learn but one that would not listen would not irrespective of how discipline or how you bring them up.  That's why some parents here, have accessed every avenue and concludes that sending their children home until they are due for University education would be better than loosing them to the Social Services system here - To me that, seems too harsh but I don't blame them and also, it depends if one has relatives you can trust to look after them back home e.g your mother/father etc. It's not only black community that is affected - Asians are suffering too. It hasn't been long since a Philipine family with 3 children fell victim of the state's intervention over their 13 year old first daughter who was taken into care beacuse, they were instilling discipline based on their own values and the state did not approve of that style of disciline. Both neighbours (mainly whites)and school reported them to the authorities and that was it. Social services got in and the child was taken into care.

To that I say, keep doing what you're doing (but balance it) because you're doing the right thing. Don't give a care about what the world is saying about you, a confident woman don't give a toss.  It's even good your husband is on your side and it goes to say that the children are in line as a result otherwise, it would have been difficult in your situation with the inlaws and please, do take them home regularly to their root.   Good luck with raising them, you are now alone !

[/quote]Well the authority comes from God, even the Bible will tell you that the Church is the pillar and foundation of truth, the Bible calls the Church (not the Bible) the foundation and pillar of truth.

1 Timothy 3:15
15 But if I tarry long, that thou mayest know how thou oughtest to behave thyself in the house of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and ground of the truth

I hope you actually know what the traditions of the Church is before you start speaking false things.[quote]

Lady

You see, lady - you do not seem to understand what the Bible is teaching here when it says 'the Church is the pillar, ', The Bible meant Jesus Christ is the pillar and foundation of truth, ok!  That's what is meant here and not ordinary Church building or worshippers in it as you saw it.  The Church is Christ foundation,  Without Christ there is no Church, ok! Take your Bible to pastors who can interprete it very well for you as I can see you don't seem to understand it fully.

Another doctrine that is not bible-based that has become a Roman Catholic doctrine is the one that says that Mary mother of Jesus remained a virgin [quote][/quote]Bobbyaf

Well Bobbyaf, if that's truely the Catholic church doctrine - it's a lie because Mary and Joseph had six other children after Christ (four boys and two girls) in total they had seven children.  So, Jesus had 4 brthers and two sisters conceived and born by Mary and Joseph.  The Bible named them as: James, Joseph, Simon and Judas but the names of his sisters were not mentioned (Matthew 13 v.55 - 56). They were Jesus half-brothers. So I suggest every Catholic get a Bible and read it yourselves or join other churches that truely teaches the word of God. As you can see Christ came from a large family and a poor one for that matter.  His mother was a house-wife and his father a carpenter.  He had no Flash cars (as preachers of today do) and wore no designer cloths neither his brothers.  Today, most preachers are doing the opposite.  Some, not only have Flash cars a luxury lifestyle - Flasy homes in every city of this world , their wives and relatives too.   I leave it to them to justify.  We will all be answerable one day.  It is true that God does not want us to be poor but there's a difference between poverty and wealth/luxury.  I rest my case.

The Bible says that no one comes to God except through Jesus Christ, the only son of God. 

So, there's no way Catholic tradition would be above the word of God.

If you like believe in Jesus Christ and believe the words of God and if you don't like, believe in your Catholic teachings.  On the judgement day only true believers would be saved.  If Mary went to heaven without death and the only son of God, Jesus Christ died and rose again on the third day,  I wonder and I am so sorry for the Catholic church and the many souls it seems to me they are decieving with that kind of teaching.

Because, Mary's death was not recorded in the Bible should not lead us to assume or conclude that Mary escaped death and went straight to heaven. 

Also, many incidents or events that happened during Jesus Ministery/time were not recorded nor mentioned in the Bible e.g. the passing of Joseph, Mary's husband was not recorded in the Bible and, does it mean that he too escaped death and went straight to heaven? At the wedding ceremony in Cana where Christ turned water into wine because the wedding guests ran out of wine and his mother - Mary suggested he do something , Joseph his father was absent and was not mentioned rather Mary and Jesus disciples (John 2:1-11).  What does this suggest to you? Still, his absence in Jesus other crusades was never confirmed to us.  This does not mean he did not die nor went straight to heaven.    Yes the Bible is the word of God however, not every detail of the words that came out of God's mouth that the Bible recorders were able to capture or documented at the time.  We are all humans and we forget things.   For example, have you taken lectures in a lecture hall before? Is it every word that came out of the lecturer's mouth that you are able to jot down? You jot down what you consider essential and necessary probably that's what happened and, the Bible recorders at the time may not have considered certain events very important. Therefore if you listen to or follow your Catholic teachings without believing in Jesus Christ, confessing your sins, truely repenting and be Born Again - you will miss HEAVEN and, hell you dare not think of. 

God bless you!

Everyone deserve the right to be treated like a human being. 

Muslim women are being treated better than animals in Afghanistan.  They are being denied education, forced into marriages they are not interested in, force to marry men and worse of all old men they are not in love with by their families and relatives.  Why?  Is marriage compulsory? As a result, these women are now commiting suicide everyday to escape such hostal and brutal treatment by their so called families.  The Holy Koran condemns this brutal behaviours - What are Moslems all over the world doing to stop these forced marriages and ill-treatment of women in such countries if they believe in the words of the Holy Koran?

Please don't give me excuses, I want facts.

This is quite interesting. You needn't tell me your tribe for me to recognise this behaviour.  I believe you are an intelligent and educated person who understand that this behaviour can be rude in certain environments but some of your tribes people lack this understanding and ignorant to change this attitude.  I went to University with alot of your tribes people.  I was friends with many of them unfortunately, the education and intellectual development they received could not shift this uncivilised, unbrushed, unpolished, unsieved behaviour from them whilst we were at the Uni.  For example, I would be sitting in the canteen with a Yoruba friend of mine having lunch, immediately another Yoruba person joins us - that would be the end of my contribution to the chat.  I am immediately excluded from the conversation as they embark on conversation in Yoruba language without any consideration about how I feel since they knew quite right that I do not understand the language therefore, can't join in, quite selfish of them.  They would continue with this, gbagbati, gbagbati and more gbagbatis'.  It does not matter who with or where.  I gave them time to change this behaviour but soon realised they would not as a result, I left them to join another civilised tribe and was much happier thereafter.  Yes, I suggest that some Yorubas re-think this uncivilised behaviour in the light of my commentaries above as well as the circumstance and environment they find themselves in when embarking in their lingo in the public.

Now, in considering you query above, you are in a bus travelling  to a place with a friend who happens to speak your lingo and probably same tribe eh!  The others travelling in the same bus are neither friends nor relatives or in no way related to you but just ordinary travellers going their own way. 

In my view you did the right thing.  You are not rude at all.  You would have been rude if you knew them and knowing they can not speak your lingo and continue speaking it in their midst, that would have been too rude of you.  However, as we all like to be made welcomed and inclusive in things be it with friends, family etc it would have been nice to speak in English (if what your are discussing is not private e.g the weather or the journey) so that other people in the bus interested in the topic would join in the conversation - otherwise, you are right and not rude. 

It seems to me, your critic in that bus was a jealous man/woman who wanted to join you in but unable as he/she could not speak your lingo therefore - bursted into anger and call you rude.  This is a leaning curve for you, when people try to get their own way and couldn't they throw tantrums - very childish indeed.

Anyway, always be inclusive and not, exclusive of people.  Cheers!

Well, it's obvious that this girl fancy your friend more than you.  If they hadn't hit it out, soon they will and you will be heart broken.  Thus, curse and blame every woman under the universe for her sins. 

I want to make this clear before it happens, no respectable girl with dignity would behave like your girl therefore, don't go cursing, name-calling every woman as wicked, lying, deceitful, back-stabbing and betraying slags as your girl because majority of women are not like that.  I suggest you investigate this thoroughly to make sure your allegations are correct.  If so, dump her and move on.  This will not only save your face and give you back your dignity but also future heartaches should you wish to marry her afterall. As for your male friend, it all depends on how strong your relationship is; if a good friend maintain the relationship but wisen up. If possible, set boundaries you both must not cross in your relationships as friend and loose the woman because a good friend is worth more than GOLD! Women come and go so do men.

Good luck!

Hmmm! People are still not using their brains and don't seem to see the dangers round the corner.  Though, most people here seem to critize this behaviour, no one has actually commented on the health harzards (HiV/Aids, Syphilis,Chlamydia and unwanted pregnancy) of this kind of behaviour or mentioned about the simple use of condom in this sodomize acts.  I wonder what had happened to Fella left-overs also known as 27 Wives.  Obviously, some are still passing on the HiV/Aids they got from him and his entourage to ignorant guys like you - the Calcutta Republic, remember?

Anyway, gentleman if I were you I'll kick the arse of that your so called dodgy girlfriend - I wonder what more she does.  Obviously, she is not a new hand to party hence this suggestion. May I suggest you take and HiV/Aids test - you might be infected through her.  Wisen up buddy, wisen up before a woman kills you!!

This idea is very welcomed.  Nigerian citizens abroad are denied their rights to vote as a result of past and negative legislations.  This will bring Nigerian political system in line with other civilised countries of this world e.g America, Britain, Japan, Germany, France etc. It will also encourage the introduction of electronic system of voting thus, eliminate this rigging of elections that are so embroided into the fabrics of Nigerian political system.  But, knowing Nigeria my country, it would not prevent some from sabotaging the whole system in order to make their points.  In view of this, a stronger system needs to be developed that will with-stand these challenges to the developement of pure and modern democracy in Nigeria.  For the sake of true democracy, Nigerians should all welcome this idea.

Jazz Freak and Femi Seun God bless you both, my darlings!  You are saying the truth and you have fore-sight.  You see, these two are as blind and deaf as a bat! Leave them to learn their lessons, ok! Everyone is warning them now about the consequences of such union instead it seems they are allowing their hearts to rule their heads.  Allowing emotion to control their judgements.  As a mother of a child with sickle cell anaemia - I wouldn't wish the experience on my worst enemy let alone anyone else.  Would I consider the emotional, psychological, financial and physical burden to this?  No, it does not worth. The hospital run alone will kill your marriage and the family unit. 

And to my brother and sister discovering this night-mare, I should say to you both - just kiss and say your good-byes to each other so that you can be free to pursue your God given rights to happiness and personal fulfilments i.e. achieving what God has sent you here to achieve/realise.

In a nutshell, I say - amicably go your separate ways my darlings in order to seek happiness with other people.  We know it's not gonna be easy to say goodbyes after 5 blissful years of togetherness but, JUST DO IT!! 

If in doubt of how to do it,  just take courage from Prince Harry of Great Britain and who have now parted amiceably with Chelsy - his long term girlfriend after just 5 years of being together.

Make hay whilst the sun shine!  You can not help your situation and you are not the only.

Hey, baby!!! You are going from fire to frying pan, Ok! But, I give my blessing however, when your inlaws starts kicking your ar-e, remember I told you so. This is because an Indian family is not like ours whereby our family receives our children with all their hearts irrespective of where they come from - your children will always be treated as second citizen among their fathers family let alone the Country as a whole. Make your enquiries very, very well before you indulge yourself. In the West, bi-racial Indian children can tell their story about their father's families, check it out! To start with, Indians don't like blacks at all. An Indian family would not support a black man to marry their daughters anyway. If they say they do, I challenged them to show the statistics for that. Good luck with your adventure!

Indians are business and money minded people - like most but theirs is extra ordinary. If an Indian man says he fancy a girl outside his race - check it out there must be some financial/material gains attached to the girls side of the bargain or deal. Check their traditions - unlike Africans, where some parts still kept the dowry system going i.e ask the men to pay the dowry for their girls, in india, a woman has to take her own dowry to her husbands family. If a newly married woman returns to her husband without a dowry, she will kiss their ar-e. They will batter you, burn you alive and live you for the dead. So, if I were you research these information very well before you commit yourself else, you will find yourself in a hot pepper soup.lol!!!! Please find your native man or even a proper oyibo and marry in fact, that's even better at least you know what to expect than your current plan. Any way good luck.

Did I hear you are pregnant?  So, why are your husband complaining?  He should know that women in this situation crave for alot of things and dislike certain foods/smells too.  If he does not know, take him to one of your antenatal clasess there, other women will teach him how to be a supportive husband. 

You see, you are pregnant please do nothing because any drastic measures you took now to loose weight in order please this hopeless and cruel husband of yours will have an impact on your life and baby - What's more important to you?  Is it your life and the life of your unborn child or pleasing a hopeless man??

If he does not fancy or love you any more,  he can go and I'm sure he will probably end up with a woman who wouldn't get pregnant - show me the one who wouldn't get pregnant or want children?   Men come and go, women come and go too but your children will hang in for you - your choice.  I know a woman is at her most vulnerable when pregnant but don't take the shit,  ok.  Look after yourself and the baby but eat sensibly because the baby gets his/her nutrition from you and if he/she grows too big inside you it will be quite difficult to have a natural birth, you know what I mean, ?  Unless you've decided it's going to be C-section, that's ok too.

Take care and good luck with the baby!

Quote from: ohaechesi on Yesterday at 12:39:10 PM
Well, i'm not against woman protesting for their right in their various matrimonial homes.
what i'm against is how they will go about it if eventually their request is granted.
In the western world today, African men are facing hard time in the hands of their wives for the sake of so called right.
We are not use to those laws that could make life unbearable for men.
therefore, i suggest that women should revert to better behavior in their matrimonial homes than looking for compensaction.


Hi Mr Ohaechesi,

You see, how dare you make the above comment.  From which planet do you live.  Hope you are not in the 21st Century, are you?  If so, I suggest you head back to the 1st Century, there you would meet your kind. 

How could a woman asking for her rights make a man's life unbearable??  Women are only asking to be treated with respect and dignity and some insecure men like you are shaking like leaves at the thought of according that basic right because, you enjoy; ABUSE, CONTROL, INTIMIDATION and, STIFFLING women.  Why? because they are your easy option - gentle and weak beings, aren't eh? 

Is only weak and insecure men like you and your kind in Nigeria, Pakistan, Arab, Afghanistan etc) who feels threatened by women therefore, get pleasure in tyrannising and making their gentle lives hell.  Our heavenly Father will shower you evil piece of work with his hell stones. 

I heard you mention of the Western world as if there are no men in the West.  What knowledge of Western history have you  I bet zero!  Women emancipation started from the West.  Throughout history men have always - abused, bullied, controlled, intimidated and, subdued women to mention but few.  Its only after Western women (and eventually women all over the world now) gained the vote in the early 20th Century that the evil treatments they had endured have now been confind to the history book as men began to rethink their ways.  Is it really a thing of the past?? No, just take a look at the countries mentioned above.  These are people living in dark ages.  There are still men here in Nigeria today battering their wives as if an animal.  No, you don't beat an 'ADULT' get it??  And you have no rights to lay the smallest finger in you left or right hands in 'ANGER' on another human being, irrespective of what they may have done.  Also, as if that's not enough, men are still raping women as I write this.  No, you have no right whatsoever to force a woman to to have sexual relationship with you if she does not wish to (married or unmarried) , get it?  A married woman is not her husband's property or an asset to be sold for a profit, ok! Your wife is you 'life partner and your second half' not a property you own and these are the reasons black African women in the West are fighting back because of abuses and controls from the husbands/partners. 

Now, take this!  Most Africans are quite poor and people will agree with me.  When you find yourself and husband in the West believe you me people work very hard here to put food on the table talk of sending money home.  Now, our families at home are sending their long emails, text msgs, letters etc begging for money for food though, we have none and considering that we both have managed to send money to the man's side of family a couple of times, and as it turn out, had not been able to do same for the wife's side of the family.  The wife has managed to scrap some tiny savings to send home to her family and there you have it - her husband furiously objected more than twice and protested she can not take the money from his house and send home to her family, how would you feel?  Hmmmm?  You mean as hard as I work or  Babe,  Please, find my cheque book and I will write you the DOWRY on my head and resign my appointment as a wife, got it??lol!!!  These are   reasons black men are miserable in the West - power, control, greed and selfishness.  If it's good enough for your family, it's equally damn good for mine because I work and contribute to the family purse, alright!  Who would say they really like the look of poverty around them - no one so why should my family suffer when your are managing ok with our support?  Yes, I will pay back my dowry and gain my freedom/independence to be able to help my family and any wise person will do the same.  You can not control anyone with his/her own income rather those who have not and no means, resource or opportunity to better their lives, ok! 


Again, on your view on black men in the West - they say when in 'Rome' do like the 'Romans'.  If the black men who happens to find themselves in the West are frustrated with the civilised way of doing things - you know what?  There are flights like Virgin Nigeria, Virgin South Africa, Virgin Kenya to take them back to 'Dark Ages', ok  Failing that, British Airways, Luthansa, KLM, Alitalia and American Airlines etc are all willing to give their service free of charge to get them home where-ever they call home and that's my answer to that.  Will they go For where!

And it's only men with your kind of thinking that finds it difficult to accept that women have rights and should claim it.  You believe a woman's right is tied to the hips of her husband.  No she does not have to claim her rights via her husband because she is a person/individual in her own right - born alone and will die alone without a husband buried with her, get it.  I am so grateful to the suffragettes for giving me my rights and independence and now my eyes are opened they can never be shut again.  Now, I know and understand when cowards like you starts to dish out their regular doses of abuses and to women, we when to stop them in their tracks.  No man will ever tamper with my freedom and independence again.  I only feel for my sisters who are unable and struggling to experience the freedom I have today but one day, I say one day they will and men like you, will all kiss our ar--e on your way to HELL.

A bad culture and a stiffling one. Too controlling and intimidating. Why shouldn't a man claim his own biological child just because the poverty stricken family demands a goat and a cow plus a couple of Naira that a childs future, welbeing and general development should be compromised for, is it?

I have always say it IGBO culture need serious reviewing, honest.

So, if a man has no money to marry the woman he should not be allowed to create a decent and happy family that would support the future general development of his family, is it?

Well, here is your answer. That's why many Nigerian girls not only resort into back street abortion and sudden deaths or run off to live with the man thus depriving greedy family of the pittance dowry. Why should any respectable woman be married with dowry? Until this dowry tradition ends, women and in particular Igbo girls' will continue to be slaves to their to their Slave Master husbands. Thank God my own family are well above that tradition. My father is not rich but he will never, has never accepted any penny from his inlaws for his daughters and I'm very proud of him therefore, the men in our lives do not percieve us as their investment or property they can treat any how e.g. punch your eyes out without hesitation when he's upset. I dare them to. So, my dear friend if you or anyone you know has been affected by this urgly Igbo tradition, don't worry - the baby go fin im papa when i gro up. Problem bi say da woman you go go marry after im mama, whether igo let the baby be as him/her be your fes bikin instead of make am second citizen in im papa house - check it out. Nigerian women especially those in Nigeria, I fear una, o But my advice be say make you kip making yourself present to your baby, o Give money for feeding, school etc na so you go take win them, I promise you.

Thank you Etin for this topic and God bless your Naija Diva for your contribution.

You see some of these people (males/females) who behave in this manner are wild animals, thick and ignorants and the only way to identify them are through this kind of behaviour therefore, once you notice them here - please avoid and ignore their commentaries ok! If no one took notice of them they will eventually conform to civilised way of doing things or quit for good. That's the trick!

You see, this behaviour is rampant in Nigeria even among our leaders. That's why Nigerian politics is so crude if they can not take the heat or have their own way, they resort to bully, intimidation and to an extent even political killing or termination of their opponents as they normally say. Unlike the Western politicians - African politicians in particular, Nigerian ones can not even attempt to do the honourable thing when caught up in embarassment. For example check Robert Mugabe of Zimba - you see his country people are dying of starvation and ill health does it worry him? No, because no African government is accountable or responsible for any thing in any form or shape so they do what they like. Mugabe knows the honourable thing to do in order to rescue his country and bring peace and prosperity to his country instead he adamantly and vehementally hang on to power at the expense of the general public of Zimbabwe. The same happened in Kenya mid Summer last year remember - the election rigging that led to public riots in Kenye mid Summer last year?? There you're!! It's called an African curse, ok! It will take donkeys of years for people there to change and adopt civilised manners. Lack of education is not the problem at all though education is one aspect there are several parts to it afterall, Nigerians are the most educated in the whole of Africa - check it out. So, we can not blame illitracy here there are other aspects e.g. beliefs and values, traditions, religions, psychological, physical and emotional as well as psychiatric factors (i.e peoples' mental health). There you have it.

Anyway in a forum like this, you're bound to encounter all sorts of characters, so dear friend take heart!

Who cares!!! And how do you know? In fact, you don't even know the man. Your allegation is based on assumptions if not, where's your researched evidence to this?

If you can not produce this, better go kala, ok! People believe and worship God in many ways it does not have to be you or your pastor's own ways alright. Give us a break!!

Thou shall not judge!!!!! Remember??

But since I have been given a choice between a gay son and a 14yr old pregnant daughter - all I can say is that all God's creation is beautiful - gay or heterosexual, small or big. If am correct, according to the bible these people are created that way and there's nothing anyone can do to change their sexual orientation. Every country under this planet has got male and female gays, right? So, leave them alone. They are not stopping you from breathing, eating, sleeping or even pooing so what's the heck? Live and let live please!!!!!!!!!!

However, since I have been given the right to choose I will definitely welcome my beautiful brand new grand child into the world because through him/her my lineage continues whereas my gay son may intentionally choose not to procreate even to become a donor to a woman as they are not sexually oriented towards women and thus leave me in limbo. Would I let that happen No, I will sell every thing I have to ensure my 14yr old with a baby is comfomfotable and cared for to be able to raise my little 'Sunshine'. Get it A bird in hand is worth two in the bush, buddy. According to Ibo language, 'Ikem ji ka'.