₦airaland Forum

luvbooks:
@ The Blessed ;
             
                       The Bible never said that Jesus was not comfortable with him and did not welcome him into the fold again. This couldn't have happened since Judas killed himself after Jesus's death. In other words, Jesus and Judas never set eyes on each other again in the physical realm. Besides, if Jesus was uncomfortable  with Judas, and never welcomed him back into the fold, that would be a great contradiction of the story of the Prodigal Son,  wouldn't it?

feelgood:
thablessed, apparently my initial post seems ambiguos. My relation is an only child and is the husband.

To others, great posts, keep em coming. Even b4, the guy married, the mom had not been in a very fit state (she could not attend the wedding). Also, the wife and him courted for 6 years b4 coming together and she knew his mother pretty well. The wife has realised she made a mistake and has apologised to the guy, my brother, but he would not hear of it. He is just mad that she was not there for him when his mum needed help most.

He has informed me that he has paid the new girl's dowry -  but I dont believe him since none of us (his relations) went with him; moreso I dont believe any right thinking family would want to give away their daughter when there is a present bereavement.

I shall see my brother at the burial - meanwhile folks pls keep the comments coming, they are helping me to view other perspectives

Miss EZ:
What i find particulary interesting is the fact that he said they only had a traditional marriage

"He replied that he was not bound by such beliefs, moreso as he was only married traditionally".

Is traditional marriage recognized legally? I am not sure if it is ,because i know that for your wedding to be legally recognized, it has to be a white or court marriage even though traditionally marriage is the way things are officially done in nigeria.

blacksta:
Sorry N30,000 000 is not £15 Million  but £120,000

JJYOU:
this is why i call most of the God users .  from my observation the more religious the nigerian person is the more you need thread carefully. sadly england doesnt help support nigerian marriages.
not even deeper life people have safe marriages in this part of the world.  religion is supposed to help people i dont know how we manage to use religion to commit and deceive people into business and relationships.

i dont have my crystal balls out today but this looks heading the 1 way street.  

oga, if you can get her into relate counselling if that fails pray and seek counselling for yourself then wait for whatever happens.  i dont know why people who are not prepared to marry go into it and bring kids into it too.  your post is one reason most people use the phrase marry a nigerian woman at your peril.  i dont know what to say other than tell this guy to take heart and learn his lessons.  as said dont think it would be easy. go get yourself a smart lawyer preferably a female because they are best at squeezing a better deal for you. also get advice on reducing your equity and exposure on the properties too.

hope you learn your lesson and dont let the scarf wearing brigade deceive you into another relationship so soon. if you can avoid nigerian and ghanaian women like plagues especially if you are in this part of the world.  they are more prone to this kind of absurd behaviour.

while you do that dont fool yourself into not opening every letter you come across. what you know should not be capable of harming you.

Hey Mr! You see, I am not here to challenge you on this your view, no.  Rather to find out what makes you think your own advise to this gentleman is Godly and worthy?

You see, you are hear advising him on how to squirrel away community NUTS i.e. Assets/shares/monies that belongs to him and his wife so that, his wife is deprived of her own share.  Is that right? Only in your own eyes.   You fail to REALISING WHERE IN THE WORLD THIS COUPLE ARE LIVING. DO YOU THINK THEY LIVE IN THE 3RD WORLD? Didn't it occur to you, he married a smart woman and that before this even began, the wife had already done her HOME WORK AND ITS PERFECT? Where on earth would he squirrel away these Assets/monies or any kind of investments this lady and her solicitors hadn't already burrowed in.  Abi, na Ariaria or Ajegunle markets you mean here or rather, this Western world you are talking about?  What do you think women are?  Fools  Maybe, the ones you go out with.  You have to understand that this marriage has irretrievably broken down hence the wife living her own life and wanting the man to take the bull by the horn to end it so that, both can be free.  Because, they live in the same house does not mean they are a couple as they no longer behave as one. Often she travels abroad without telling her husband and still comes back to the same house without any explanations.  How can you call this marriage?  Can’t that tell you this lady has done her home work thoroughly and ready for the next step.  SHE JUST WANT OUT, OK!!! And no amount of counselling or prayer could change a woman’s  heart when she’d completely made up her mind to end her marriage because, no one else, is living her life in that marriage except herself/husband. 

Instead of you to tell this brother to be fair when it comes to the crunch, you are advising him the opposite, right?  To find a way to cheat his wife off what she worked for and contributed to. I hope, someone in your own life treats you that way then, you would know what it is like because, ‘WHAT GOES ROUND, COMES ROUND 3 TIME AND OVER’.

To start with, they both came to this country together and worked hard for what they have and now, you are advising him to deprive her of her own share simply because she does not agree with his GOVERNMENT any more – whatever that is, abi?  It's all too easy for a man to walk away from his marriage leaving behind his children and into the arms of another daughter of EVE without any questions.  However, when a woman does the same, the world tumbles upside down as you are all up in arms against her, why? Other than the double standards we all know about. What's good for the geese is good for the gander, too!  She worked hard and contributed to the community funds therefore, quite entitled to her own HALF OF EVERYTHING, PERIOD. 

It doesn’t sound good but, that’s the reality we live in today.  Thank God for the change in law that put a stop (to a degree) to all these unfairness men had always perpetrated on women for so long.  For people who hadn’t been here long, they don’t know or understand and for that, I say please ask questions than jumping the band wagon.  The law was changed to give women their rights in marriage. 
If it hadn’t changed, women would still be marginalized by people like you as it has always been.  Some Black men still think they are still operating in Africa particularly, Nigerian men. Well, their experiences in the West, thank God, have subdued some of them as they don’t know what hit them. 
In order to hold on to their archaic evil ways they use religion to manipulate their way through e.g. using the Bible to making women feel guilty about issues important to them.  They quote and quote chapters in the Bible to make you feel bad:  God said this and that about that. Yea!! God said these things only to women and not to men, huh!!!   


For those who haven’t been here long and ignorant of the facts that let to this change in law, let me open your eyes a little bit.  This is one reason.  In the 80’s and early 1990’s Family Law was changed to take into account women’s contributions in marriage.   Cases were rampant about men divorcing their wives of many years without leaving them a DIME for old age – PENSIONS.  Some of those unfortunate women left work at a younger age to help raise their families whilst supporting their husbands endeavours for the sake of the family thus, had no income of their own but fully dependent on their husbands.  Now, at old age, who would hire them for work, YOU.  Now, these women are older, near retirement and children have all fled the nests suddenly, the husbands realized they now need NEW AND YOUNGER MODELS.  What did they do?  Most eloped with these young women together with the entire family funds to have a good life in the CARRIBEANS without their legitimate wives thus, deprived the poor older women of what she worked for all her life.  Now, tell me this is how fair men’s justice should be, isn’t it? If this had happened to one of your sisters, I wish you'd be happy. In fact, 2 – 5 years ago similar cases presented themselves only that we have in place laws that quashed them.  I wish Africa have laws that respect their women, the brodas would have learnt how to respect us.

In these cases it was the men who left the marriages and in the process, took the entire family funds/investments with them, why? Because, they are they ‘MEN’ and they can. Well, I thank one of the ladies  for taking the bull by the horn and brought awareness.  In anger, she happened to cut off the right SLEEVES of her husbands 100 or more designer suits in order to bring the awareness of women sufferings/plights in marriage and eventually made it into the law we know and enjoy today else, sons of ADAM would have continued in their WICKED WAYS.  WE LOVE YOU MAAM!!! 

Right, back to the issue. Is it compulsory that one should marry?? Is it by force that a man/woman should remain in a marriage they both are not happy? It's about time some Black men should learn their lessons and learn how to respect their women.  You are not respecting an African woman by making this WICKED/EVIL SUGGESTIONS about money here.  It seems to me like, you are trying to say, if a woman does not allow her husband to control her she does not deserve any good thing from her marriage.  Well, to that I say 'BUNKUM'. She DESERVES EVERYTHING SHE PUT IN IT, AND MORE, !!  If you don’t want a man/woman in your life please, leave but give them what belongs to them than cheating them off their hard work, that’s evil.  A woman is a person, an individual with her own rights.  She does not have to get her rights through her husband because, he has his – in other words, they are both EQUALS and that’s why you are so antagonistic about women’s rights – well, your problems, not ours.

I could hear some people on here saying, I don't blame this woman because he brought her to Europe, if he hadn’t this wouldn’t have happened.  To that I say, nonsense!  It's like saying, if he hadn't married her, no other man in this world would have, is it?  So, if he hadn't married her and brought her to Europe, no other guy would have married her and give her the WORLD, isn't it?  CRAP!!  And for all you black ladies out there, demand your rights in any relationships you find yourself in, and get it. It’s about time our men should learn how to treat and respect us. You've got the POWER, use it after all, we don't need men, men need us more than we need them and that's YOUR POWER to demand and get that respect. 

Marriage breakup is a very sad situation, no matter what! But it is nothing new!  Marriages have been failing even in the Biblical days and the world did not cave in because of it.  People lived their lives without much stress then today, its different therefore, when a marriage fails, you go your separate ways in a civil fashion.  After all, you weren’t born twins and its not the end of the world, is it? Just try to be civil for the sake of your love ones particularly, your children and not to kill each other because of money and, that's wrong.

na2day?:
i have tried it, no big deal and i didnt even ask for allowance 

Well, since you've been unemployed for a very

long time and now, there's a vacancy in your wife's

kitchen to fill - why not keep the dream job for life, eh??

Or is it just a one off thing for you then? 

Good luck with your new role!!!

Personally, I wouldn't be one even if my man is

BILL GATES - the richest man in the world. 

TOO BORING A ROLE FOR MOST OF US.

Imagine, where a person aimlessly sit at home tending to babies and

husband's needs.  Sorryooooooo not meeeoooo!

I don't envy their roles, at all.

rasputinn:


Yea yea,but you still need to be freed from bad grammar 

bawomolo:
Laws are usually not enforced until someone agitates and screams for it's implementation.  If that agitation is feminism then so be it.

There is a difference between feminists (susan b anthony) and feminazi's (deepzone/hottrash)