₦airaland Forum

Arsenal no go follow their mate buy o! Dem go dey wait wen dem don buy all the meat for market dem go come begin buy the remaining kpomo (wey no get club)
or better still, when the other clubs don buy finish dem go buy on loan the ones wey no get starting jersey. I dey laff o!!! (kalou, bosingwa, Ji sun park, Barton,)

Have you ever heard a story and was so sure twas true till you heard anoda version? truly I don't know wat to believe now cos I'm definitely confused. Nonetheless these Indians are terrible oppressors when you have dem as your employers...they paid 2nd class upper graduates 25k @DeltaSteel (2006). Ask those working wif dem at Celtel their experiences too. But sure enough, dem sabi work die: they lead the pack in Pharmaceutics, Medicine and Engineering

ijebabe: Wizkid Surprised Students of Bishop Douglas School in Barnet, London

soon na dem go say the hand signage wey him do na, na Illuminati

brazzimola: Very interesting thread. I have learnt alot. I truely believe with financial discipline, you can save any amount you truely wish to save, it all depends on the level of recurrent expenditure you are willing to cope with. I have denied myself beer with the guys,women and expensive foods just to save abt 80-90% of my monthly income although I still give room for these on an occasional basis.

My strategy is that I first break my expenses into 2 expense heads namely CAPITAL PROJECTS/INVESTMENTS and RECCURENT EXPENDITURE. Then I make a list of all my posible monthly expenses and group similar expenses into categories under these expense heads

For example, the reccurent expenditure head would have expenditure subheads such as Feeding, Transport, Phone Bills, Academics (cos I do alot of professional courses), Philanthropy, etc....while the Capital Project/Investment head contains items such as Building/Landing projects, Stocks, Fixed Deposits, Precious stones, etc all showing my cash outflow to investments and capital expenditures.

I then set a reasonable maximum amount that I am willing to allow for each expense category and try as much as possible to live my daily life not exceeding this limit.

This technique I developed during my NYSC and over time I have mastered it. I developed a suitable excel program to help me keep track of this and to check my expenses and where am falling short of plans.

This is just a sketch of what the entire program looks like but With it, I am able to limit my recurrent expenditure to about 20% of my income, my capital expenditure and investments to about 60% and the remaining 20% I leave in my bank account for contigencies. Regularly, after a few months, I withdraw from my contigeny account the excess accumulated and divert it into investments. I hate having excess cash..anyways...I hope someone gains a thing or two from this.

Thanks y'all for reading.

Nice one Brazzimola...I covet your grace bro

I actually save two-thirds but my car and my Landlord share it in due time
I hope all these stops when I start earning more

Bottom line: FASHOLA DIDNT rescue three kids from crash site
A pro ACN journalist in Vanguard must have written this crap title. but BTW, why didnt the poster use a better Title? More like " Fashola houses 3 kids from crash site", and then paste the link

Inasmuch as saying it makes me shy, THIS GUY'S FLY
Cant deny; feeling him by and by
No need for long thing, haters shd stop hating him, I feel so awed abt the amount of talent he portrays wen I watch his videos on MTVBase(...with Banky W always doing busy body around him )

My T.V Its a 100 inch Turbo Injector LCD with built in PS3, toilet and bathroom, refrigerator and kitchen manifold. It has a 10 loader blu ray disc player. My lady saw it and proposed to marry me

Now what happened to this Pastor leaves much to be desired: firstly, Jesus was asked by Satan to turn water into bread<,after all it was written in the scriptures. Jesus rebuked him by saying "it is also written that you shall not put the Lord your God to test", which is exactly what that the "pastor" did. 2ndly, note that the guy was doing a tradition: passed over by his father (who incidentally died of the same cause): this was not scriptural either. My point? All you quick-mouthed fellas that are looking for an excuse to discredit God and find excuse for their unrighteousness shd think again: God is not a man, he wont be dragged into your de-illusion or vain arguements. The pastor was completely ON HIS OWN!!!

ufumes: The solution lies in the use of prepaid meter. Just like recharge cards, Nigerians would wise up. But as long as the phcn keep bringing ambiguous bills, I don't mind leaving my electric stove on, over night.

Honestly this is the best, most hilarious and mind-boggling post I'd seen on NL in a while. And as for BEAF, i fink you make yourself sound pathetic by supporting mediocrity... No hard feelings

Yepaaa!!! T|B Joshua prediction don fall yakata for ground. lie lie prophet... Beta concentrate on ur church ministry and leave football out of your "preashing". #LaffinInBlue

who be these pipu wey dey mention Aki and pawpaw? These are men for crying out loud! In the music industry, yea we got wizzkid and davido and co, but in the movie industry, we aint got anytin like Hannah Montana, or those wonderful kids in Wizards of waverly place and the suit life of zack and cody. Just none to really celebrate. #ReallyAppalling

I got so pissed this morning @ the office where everybody was just screaming "haaaa Shebi Boko Haram said they will Bomb PH! . They have come again bla bla bla". When will semi illiterates grow up and stop adjudging every explosion in Nigeria to BH abeg . That said, my sincere condolences to the victims of the explosion.

Aren't some guys turning this into religious brawl not damn right stewpid? Jesus himself was once lost in a crowd for three days. My point: you cant sue the Bishop for the loss of the little girl. She may have been kidnapped as this was actually a big crowd. I blame the parents to an extent: if you go for such a big occasion NEVER, I repeat emphatically: NEVER let your kids leave your sight

Lived in Lagos, Uyo, PH, Lagos, Enugu, Ibadan, Osun, Ogun, Jos, Yobe, Gombe and Anambra. Sincerely Enugu is most serene but I noticed its getting unnecessarily expensive. Jos used to be the coolest but am afraid its no more as safe after the Recent Jos crisis. Lagos is full of fun activities, affordable but noisy and rowdy like Man city. The west's kindda cheaper and relatively boring. There's no kidnapping in the south as hyped by the press, but kinnda expensive. The cash flow in the East is not impressive for me. In all I'd prefer Warri cos i heard its cheaper (accommodation and all ) or PH. Abuja's out of it for me

HEy guys? whats your pronblem? Who says he cant spare her a few rounds of S** every now and then, after all they aint done it before? #|EvilGrin - Its called CURIOSITY
I had a friend who was employed by her ex. It wasnt funny cos when the guy had to take a firm stand on an issue she felt really hurt, and the more the guy tried to be plain and honest and principled to her, the more she felt she deserved some respect. The guy in question was even married! my Advice: its a capital NO! you shouldda gotten her a job elsehere. You'd also feel a kick in yur p*nts every time she dresses to kill and you'd feel jealous (believe me) if you see me and her making out after work....THIS WORKS ALLL THE TIME BRO!!!

tellwisdom: BB?? Wats that?

decode55: beans & bread

BB is B*g Br**st
But seriously this is b*ll$hyt! I'm loosing a lot of business time. Someone pls tell sum one to sue MTN's yellow a$$ off. #Vexed

Just like someone said, if u cant fuel a car, don't buy one . That being said i have driven two 6 cylinder engine cars: a BMW and an Avalon, both consume a lot fuel relatively (very annoying especially during fuel crisis) but you may break even when you consider the cost (110 against 320k ), the speed, durability and the stress you have to go thru to convert a v6 car to a v4 (NOTE: ALWAYS GO ONLINE AND CHECK THE COMPATIBILITY OF THE ENGINE U WANNA BUY WITH THE MODEL OF CAR YOU ARE USING). Also note that core Japanese cars (whether v4 or v6) have good fuel consumption cos Japanese ppl no get fuel so dey economize, as against Americans and Germans, but are not as durable as d latter, so fuel consumption also has to do with the Manufacturing country and the technology (the 2012 Ford v8 is very fuel efficient, so also is the mercedez C class). In summary, consider compatibility of engine with car type and the car usage (if you travel a lot, get the v6 abeg!)

English mostly, save for when i wanna tease her, we try ibo. But I rarely remember the language we use during the course of inter*****, you no naaaa

kpasko!
in other news, the price of one kilo of chicken in port Harcourt is now N800

Some guys in NL are so d*ft. That messi cannot speak English (which is not even his 2nd language) or that Ikpeba is well paid by SuperSPORTS, is NOT enough reason for him to make a mess of the English Language on International TV! What we are saying is that the Warri Man shd work on his English. Its becoming an embarrassment really
This one really got me reeling:
*Messi is a amazing player, if you try to brought him down in the box, it is a PENARITY

Akiika: I have a comment on the post itself rather than on the subject.
IS NYSC WORTH DOING?....quit translating your local language directly as you would speak it to English.

hehehehehehe^^^^^
Funny enough that's the direct translation in Ibo and Yoruba (shd read "its NYSC worth the while" You sure say you dey abroad so?
As for NYSC, I have mixed feelings about it. I served in Gombe a few years back and it was fun, but really, its a monumental waste of hustling time and money. Thing should be made optional really. And for you wanting to come back to Naija to serve and work despite having a job abroad, I'd consider you seek the face of God properly, else you'd spend your old years telling your children tales by moonlight, and your wife how she for take dey enjoy "if to say..."

* When the poison meant to kill you is written boldly "POISON"
* when the house boy is Akwa ibom (akpan or Effiong) the gateman is Hausa (Audu or Musa) and the house girl is Ibo
* The solution to one's problem is found in either a pastor, an Alfa or a prayer haouse (yoruba films)
* After having sex, the man will still be wearing Tommy Hilfinger boxers
* Poor people always shout at the top of their voices to make a point
* When a gate man finally marries a very beautiful lady and hires a body guard to stalk her and your mother gives your sister and the female house help a knowing look and says "this kine thing dey happen shay? this love ehn?"
* (Nite of a thousand laffs)The character tells you the name of the movie : Ramsey Nuoah and Geneivieve- True love; Van Vicker and Mercy johnson - Love in Tokyo; Segun arinze and omotola- beauty and the beast; Justice Esiri and Mercy Johnson- Love no dey look face(or blind love), Mr Ibru and Nkiru sylvanus- Champions league love; Pawpaw and Mama Gee- If love is a crime
* The Warriors in an Epic movie are as strong as the markings on thier face: no
* Finally, YouKnowItsCausedByANigerianMovie when you househelp burns your food everyday for one week and says "Oka Maram sorrie yo! na mistek"

Abeg where dem dey sell N250 abeg I wan buy. I walked round the whle of PH with the little fuel I had and ended up not getting. . heard its been resolved sha. Lets wait till weekend

I had no shoes
i had no bag

(he forgot to add>>
I had no brain)

If i made it, i wonder if you will make it

Only one thing bothers my mind, it is just what if they bribe NLC and co, and the whole strike thing falls apart? Wetin man go do?
GEJ, tink well o! You go run o!

I don laff tire for office. But seriously that guy is not worth our time, just that he needed to be told the truth: omo to so ile re nu. ko ya ma bo nle o! odenson

Its a super story, A life of pain and sorrow,

One cop crimes deserves another, I dey laff o!

Apart from justcash aπϑ a few odas who has been logical, a lot of ppl who have been ranting here are ignorant, myopic aπϑ ethnoventric. Even Tinubu agrees that lagos is unique cos of its cosmopolitan nature. That am from osun aπϑ came to lagos last year does not make Me more Lagosian than an ibo man that has lived in lagos all his lyf. Yes, some ppl are original lagos indigenes, but you live, work aπϑ breathe lagos air, Ɣ☺ΰ‎​ are a lagosian. Don't lyk it, take a walk

What has four wheels aπϑ flies? A: a garbage truck

@All: sorry folks, swiftycool has been poi_son:ed and k**l*d by d sl*t. She later married d friend and dey leaved happily "ever after!"
Watch out for season 2!!!:-)

@12Large: You sound quite frustrated. I read all the posts and find out that u are the only one that uses foul words on people. i cud have just pastby but i feel some sense should be talked into u. Your use of the English language leaves much 2 be desired and yet u just use words like idiot, fool and what have u at will. u can use these words in a beer parlour or a brothel not in a civilised forum like this. Please be warned. One more of it and u will be shown the way out!