₦airaland Forum

Wrong title for a stale joke >>> heard it in the 90's

Dryest thread in the history of dry threads

Nice one. too bad folx cant think in 3D

Chemical Engineering = applying Chemistry to Mechanical Engr, its just an offshoot/branch of Mech ENgr... Its like trying to compare a fruit with the main tree>>>NEXT plsss

Yea its helped my lief positively a lot too, esp when am bored or angry or sleepy, but i neva use am make money o!

life_style: Sorry you are on your own

For me, It has affected my life positively and financially, i make money on nl up to date and I'm serious about this...

Guy you be agent ni? abi you dey sell Land for NL?

Spend quite a while here, may be able to moderate but whats the remuneration like? (VACATION IN THE BAHAMAS? etc)

At !st i thot twas Agbani Darego and Timi DAkolo, and I was like "phew, finally a fantasy Nollywood movie in the making: True Love". Now I realised its that sh!+ head Timi Alaibe, and am like " Love in Vandetta"

Its 7:18am in the office on Monday morning, and we have a meeting with my Boss by 7:30am, so I decide to "feel" NL a little to pass time and see whats threading. I really enjoyed the responses and was laughing and posting and enjoying myself. When I looked at the time: IT WAS 8:05!!!

Guy if you see race wey I carry run comot for office ehn, you go tink say I don craze. well, i missed the meeting and was fined . So i was thinking, has NL affected your output positively or negatively either at work or school or whatever. pls share

Just my honest unalloyed opinion:
Miss Mauritius and Malawi - looks old
Uganda - loox like a hoe
S/Sudan - loox like a wtich
Lesotho - loox hungry and frustrated and old
South Africa - nailed it (is it cos she's fair?)
mis Naija- kinda loox ordinary
Sierra Leone - Loox like a house help
Morocco and cote d'voire - On point
dont hate!

1,10,11,20

wyt: GEJ is not dump as most haters think, don't mistake his calmness as cowardise. heads will surely roll, then we will knw he authored this script. do u remember speakers speach on democracy day? they indeed underrates him

Msssssttthhcccceeeeew>>>blatant non+sen.se. Heads will roll my foot. The Guys a big cow.ward. Cant do sh*y, hasnt done sh&t and definitely dont have the balls to do naffin. Cant believe people (apart from Reno Omokri aka Beaf) still believe this guy has got a plan! Dayeum

Opera Mini: This is one of d reasons why d world will never take us serious. The senate fixed a price for DL, and nobody could attest to having gotten it at that price. Only God knows how much we'll pay for the plate numbers.

#YAWNS... Next please

hehehehe even the back ground sef dey discouraging (with smelling gutter and screw driver). If na Oyibo wan sell am na, dem go carry two sweet lepa-shandy-busty babes wey dey smile: one go hole the steering, the other go lie down under dey show cleavage... In no time guys go begin hussle to buy...Its called ADVERTISING bro

This's been my ring tone since the Audio came out and I still cant stop playing it. Tis a techy upgrade from the original. Me likey!!! (10/10). No mind all those bottom belle hater for NL, if e pain you go boil stone

austengold: i think the best thing to do when you are hit is just to take it calm, access the dent on your car, if its not to much, dont provoke any unwarranted situation, dont get annoyed, just warn the other fellow to be more careful next time.... walk away.. you get home and be proud you didnt take revenge.... and the defaulter will always remember you for good. one good turn deserves another anyway. my submission. PEACE

I love this... Not always a solution tho cos some Bus drivers will accuse you and ask you to pay for their damage

Depends on were. At Lag i was once scratched by a Bus driver and he told me to move my nonsense car out of his way (he was completely at fault !) all i did was clear and waited for him, then we settled it like gentle men (he said "oga abeg no vex, na traffic, and i melted)
The oda time in the south, i was hit by a driver (he was actually driving his ogas jeep). I was really mad but seeing he couldn't do anytin i just threatened and harrased him and let him walk away, refusing the 1k he offered to change my light. In oda words i never really had the balls to take it beyond a few trading words and threats... I even collected phone number from one once, and when I called him later in the day, the guy gave me the shunning of my life (WTF was I expecting )

mxxpunkxx!:
. . makes u dream !

tellwisdom: Sleep makes me presses mukiyansh's boobsss

These really made me give out a loud chuckle.
Sleep also makes you fu.kc up a lot. I once dozed off in the arm chair in the office, I gave out a snore so loud that the sound woke me

Yinkagbo: I hate seeing or making someone cry.......the first day i met her she was crying,i cleaned and dried the tears in her eyes.....she fall in love to me,i tot i love her too,but i took lust as love......though she cares for me cook,wash,feed me thru out our serving year.....we passed out yesterday....as wi departed,i felt guity yesterday......cos i nw she will never see me again......
But life goes on....

Bad guy Its called the silent traetment. sometimes I wonder which is worse: to tell her 'ITS OVER' point blank or to shun all communication till she gets the message? or worse still "its not about you, its me, just gimme time to sort myself out" (while you are busy tidying some oda loose ends ) I feel guilty sha but I guess its always for "her" own good

HAVE YOU EVER LIED TO YOUR WIFE
Dude , like every some times!!! Like the saying goes "Only a man that does not love a woman, tells her the truth all the time". You dare not tell her you forgot your anniversary; or were and who exactly you were with (when actually you were drinking with your friends and your ex gf was also there) or that you gave cash assistance to your female friend or neighbors wife . We do sh*t all the tym but you musnt tell her always so she doesnt keep tabs and keep gettin worried...its called Love

shymmex: Funny chap!

Sadly, I've never seen myself as being a Briton - I see myself as a Nigerian first, and secondly as a Yoruba boy..

It's not about experiencing it, because I have parents who were born and raised in Nigeria> My grandpops was local government chairman during the Jakande era in the 70s, and my pops was in the Nigerian army for a while.. My pops and his brother fought to keep naija as one - which shows I'm from a family of naija patriots!

I probably know more about Naija, and what goes on in naija than you do..

shymmex: You know I'm always ready, and I'm not coward.. If Nigerians are ready for a change, I'll be on the next flight to Lagos..

I've never really lived in Naija, and I don't know the terrain - so it will be difficult for me to come there, as a lone voice in a country of 120-150million arguing for a change.. When Nigerians are ready to stop being docile cowards, they know where to find me.

OMG!!! Did you just say this? Abegi make we hear word. Internet ninja...
My advoice, juss siddon for white hart lane, else by the time Go-slow + Nepa + Mosquito + fuel scarcity + super eagles go Bleep you up, you go regret wetin make you show face. No worries, when 150 million nigerians ready, we go all yu for phone...AKPAMU

Wanted to do the most difficult course in the best University in Nigeria(of course I was limited to the information I had at my disposal)..Pls dnt ask me what I finally decided cos its gonna flare anoda tribal war
But I got it... and today I have no regrets

heheheehehehe I juss dey laff o!

I comment my reserve for this post ...Next plss

amtheone:
Pls I need to know as my friend who recently secure a job with fake certificates is worried about his future career if discovered. He had OND in comp Science some yrs back and also obtained IT Certifications. With his experience in IT world, he is very good, but due to his Ond certificate he couldn't secure a good paying job, but of recent he went ahead and produced University certificate and NYSC certificate. Now with this papers and his experience, he landed his dream job in one private IT firm which the pay is extremely good.

But the question now is that, he is worried as what would happen if discovered. I have asked him to resign and use the money to establish a business, because for the past 6 months of his appointment the salary is close to 2million naira. But he said the salary is tempting.

Pls I need know what will be the outcome if discovered. Would it affect his future career? Is there possibility of handing him over to police for prosecution.

But presently he is doing a part time studies in University, but even this part time studies, the company does not know as what he told them is that he is doing other IT related courses. So to this end, everything about him in that company is fake.

Like i said, my take is only for him to resign.

Pls i need ur opinion on this. Thanks

Are there no more smart NLers in da house? FGS this guys name tells us that hes talking about himself , after una go dey form graduates.
That being said, if the guy is delivering and meeting his targets the best he could do is to meet his Boss and sort his sh*t out with him. BUT IF NA FOR BIGGER COMPANY/ MULTINATIONAL!!! Omo carry your hand resign jeje o!

see one very good use of a mobile phone

ballabriggs: So Lawan said he was going to rope Otedola even when he has done no wrong.

A whole Femi Otedola! Is Lawan that stupid that he does not know the power Otedola possesses?

Rewind....

Sire, yu are danm ryt on dis one, I'm taking the whole subsidy report panel thinghy wit a pinch of salt, Farouk would be damn ryt stewpid if he feels he could rope in the high and mighty Otedola when he is innocent. More so with the like of beef and pork concluding that Farouk was guilty, makes the whole thing have a political undertone

olaheavy: SPILLING OF THE Igbo CANNIBALS' BLOOD UNITES NIGERIANS!
Yes! Good observation! There's nothing more that gladdens the hearts of true Nigerians (Yoruba, Hausa/Fulani and the Minorities) than total annihilation of the Igbo human eaters! You wonder why you scums of the earth are ferociously hated by all and sundry. You call us cowards, but look at how just about fifty Nigerian soldiers massacred 16, maimed more than 80, and arrested 500 of your cowardly scumbags. At least the Yoruba soldiers destroyed your forefathers in their millions and ultimately won the war during your failed and disastrous campaign called Biafra! How can the Yoruba be cowards when we were the ones that won the civil war during which time the Hausa soldiers (Muritala and Shuwa) were just bumbling and fumbling? Even among your Biafran clowns, it was only when Ojukwu went to the ECN (now NEPA/PHCN) building (when the Nigerian soldiers were miles away from Enugu) to BEG that valiant Yoruba soldier, Col. Victor Banjo, and he agreed to HELP Ojukwu that the tide of the war changed -- otherwise, your ragtag MASSOB (sorry, my fault) Biafran boy scouts would have been decimated within days! You always talk about people envying you rats. What! Is it your uncultured ways of life or your unbriddled, uncouth and lack of styles and finesse or your uncivilized lifestyle whence your women wear only useless three-piece wrapper called 'george' and puff-puff blouse? Or, is it your men wearing oversized hat festooned with chicken feathers on top of an over-sized buba over a ridiculous woman wrapper? Or, oftentimes, when your men wear newborns' skull wooly caps over an over-sized teeshirt complimented with a f.o.o.lish woman wrapper? At least millions of you draggons live and prosper in our Yorubaland and you're able to learn or copy from our ways of life and beautiful culture -- it's now that some of you dogs who live amongst us (the real people) now look and act like human beings. You fo.o.ls should be ashamed of yourselves! Leave Yorubaland now! Just leave!

It beats my imagination that in this 21st century one can spew so much hate and vileness on the internet? Its ppl like you that provoke violence and anger and rancour and cause divisions. I really wonder who poisoned your minds this much>>> leaves much to be desired really

whether its true or not, the response from this thread shows that Nigeria is a not treating its corperr/graduates fairly enough. Someone here wants even threatened to faint if its tru...
And for your information, Nigeria can NEVER get broke by paying each pasing out corper 200k - even though most ppl will spend it on buying liabilities (T.V, decoder, BB, rent house, clothes and some may even add some money and buy a tokunbo car for "cruising"

2008/09 Gombe state
Just noticed that most of the unpolished-loud mouthed-ignowant-ne'er-do-well-quick to cursse guys and girls neva talk . nice thread joor

Arosa: Lol,

Did your structural analysis, take into account the porous nature of Lagos soil,the constant vibration the building will be subjected to because of the daily train traffic and the fact that thousands of people will be going in and out of that building daily?

Hey UK boy, i think at this point you shd STFU... Lagos soil, traffic jam and people going in and out you mentioned are all covered in the engineers mention of "Live and dead load". Its better a f00l keeps queit than speak and give people evidence of his f0lly...My sister is an architect my a$$