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TheMortician's Posts

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CelebritiesRe: Chioma Obiadi's Open Letter To Donald Trump by TheMortician:
Obviously the most brilliant amongst current beauty contestants in Nigeria but but still super dumb.

No African country should be taking about green gas emissions when Africans need as much manufacturing plant she can muster if she has any hopes of meeting up with the rest of the world in the next 200 years. The West has finished destroying the atmosphere with their manufacturing plants and wants the rest of the world to save the atmosphere for them when they have profited enough from the pollution to create an alternative.

China refused and have been surging forward. Nigeria should too.
CrimeRe: How Mtn Nigeria Is Robbing Us by TheMortician: 9:41am On Jun 05, 2017
Skyfornia:
Lols....Haven't recharged my MTN line for a longtime, I'm just keeping it active cause it's my first line since 2003 and lots of friends and families have only my MTN line.
You can port it to another network and still retain that same number
PhonesRe: Top 5 Browsers For Android Smartphones by TheMortician: 9:23am On Jun 05, 2017
Op, are you using a tecno phone? In this day an age, you're still listing browsers based on speed ? What about delivery, UX, page rendition, layout and content.

2017 and you're listing opera? Man !!! UC browser is my default download browser but surfing the web with it is pure eyesore. Pictures are blurry, lines are broken and the entire layout is just the standard of the days of Symbian when we surf the web with Nokia N95.

Chrome and Safari are the kings for me. Except you're Using a wack phone with 10mb subscription then opera and uc will do.

For practice. Open Nairaland in UC and then open it in chrome and see a world of difference in layout and crisp display.
CrimeRe: Joy Odama Murdered By Alhaji In Abuja, Parents Call For Justice (Photos) by TheMortician: 7:02am On Jun 05, 2017
The consequences of lack of a real man in the home. Even in death, the husband is nowhere to be seen. The woman is the one running from pillar to post looking for solution.

Anyways, the mother was gullible as the daughter. A classic scenario where single motherhood begets evil of either early pregnancy or prostitution. Alhaji tricked the mother with the exact same technique he tricked her teenage daughter. What a shame.

Time for women to learn that men have a natural suspicious nature which is one of the chief ammunition to protecting their families in a world where wild animals have become extinct.
CrimeRe: Chibuihe Obi, Gay Activist Kidnapped By Homophobes In Owerri by TheMortician: 9:26pm On Jun 04, 2017
He should be treated same way a market thief is treated when caught by the mob-- burnt alive.
RomanceRe: The Lies Men Always Tell Fat Ladies by TheMortician: 11:36am On Jun 04, 2017
FitnessDoctor:
I just pray I am not arguing with a teenager, because I will surely lose... They are so insultive and so young grin grin grin grin grin
you're losing on the premises of your weak argument and shallow logic. If you pin it on age, then I will be forced to declare your mental growth to be a sad reflection of your age.

FitnessDoctor:
Okay if you read the original post you will see the experience I talked about and the man who stated his reason for liking fat ladies..
you heard one guy taking to another saying he likes fat ladies because of thier soft flesh and you summed up your hypothesis on this "experience". Are you organically retardéd?
FitnessDoctor:
You also agreed to that too that most men base their reasons on sex..
The physical beauty and sexual appeal of a woman is the door way to the hall of love. If you don't know this, please seek gender correctional therapy. I just hope you weren't raised by a single mother!
FitnessDoctor:
You said you don't care about health issues, which just shows the kind of person you are.. You don't even care about how healthy she is or she will be as long as you get to fulfill you sexual desires.. But I do care, that is why I am the FitnesDoctor..
I'm forced to ask if you completed any formal education. "I don't care about your health issues" is now being interpreted to mean health issues in general!!! Are you a sad case of a wasted adult? That's how you overheard a solitary speech at the barber's shop and you ran with the idea men are deceiving fat ladies about thier feelings. You're gone beyond redemption, son.

FitnessDoctor:
Now, if you have been reading my responses as carefully as I have been reading yours... You will understand that I talked about excess fat, I hope that helps you to answer the question..

waiting for your reply..

Stay Healthy, Stay Wise
I will watch kindergarten cartoons than dwell on a mental recluse like you. I took time to call you out because it's weekend and I'm free to put mofos like you in their proper places.

Secondly I don't want any fat girl reading this to develop low self-esteem and chronic distrust for men because of what a cheap jack like you is looking to pull to your traffic.

You should see a psychologist and if there none close to you, then invest your interne data in developing your mental framework instead of teaching this poison.
RomanceRe: The Lies Men Always Tell Fat Ladies by TheMortician: 11:08am On Jun 04, 2017
FitnessDoctor:
Something I have noticed is that most pre-wedding photoshoot posted on Nairaland always show the man grabbing the woman's butt.. (always sexual desire)..
And you will admit the grabbing of butt isn't exclusive to "fat" ladies. Matter of fact, the last pre-wedding thread here with a couple donning blue Jean and long sleeve customised shirt, the bride-to-be's ass was not even worth the grab, speaking in a general sense, that is.
FitnessDoctor:
Right here I am putting health over anything else... because to be healthy is more important else...
Your health concern is of no significance here. I'm holding you to your stupid assertion that men who complement a fleshy lady is only deceiving her. Fúck your health issues, no one has called you on that. Stop playing a game of mental deflection your brains aren't equipped to handle.

FitnessDoctor:
I haven't thrown any insultive word to you ever since.. But it seems you live your life on insults... I am just hoping for a reply from you on the question..

Stay Healthy, Stay Wise
Sure, I insult crooks who are bent on deceiving people in order to enrich their little blogs. You represent the modern threat that's associated with freedom of information and cheap data subscription.

And your question is as unclear as your mind. What do you term fat? Obese or just fat?

Be bold enough, wise fool
RomanceRe: The Lies Men Always Tell Fat Ladies by TheMortician: 10:51am On Jun 04, 2017
FitnessDoctor:
I believe, you should answer the question first, [b]so that I may understand what you are actually complaining abou[/b]t.. It is a yes or no question..

Thank you
you don't know what I'm "complaining" about since my 3rd quote!!! What a dishonest OP.

I'm not sorry to declare you irredeemably foolish if you think you possess the mental credibility to pull a subterfuge on me in order to deflect the issue from your silly generalisation and lame criticism of men. And if you mention my "sister" in any of your crooked attempt to save your already battered face, i will do to you what Abacha did to democracy in Nigeria in 1993.

Thousands of men love "fat" ladies genuinely as you can attest from some of the pre-wedding photoshoot in Nairaland.

Go do your research properly before feeding us with a tastless weekend snack !
PoliticsRe: "The Goals They Want To Achieve With New Biafra" - Tanko Yaksai by TheMortician: 10:35am On Jun 04, 2017
This Aboki is just mixing up half truths with half lies to foster illusion. The Hausa-fullani isn't 55% of the population. Not even close. And your minorities aren't so eager for your alliance any more. The North should give up their unearned rule-by-all-means. This is the most backward region in the country crippling what ever progress Nigeria makes.


And no Southern tribe is free in the north. The peace is always mortgaged to political condition. The north has recorded far more killings of innocent civilians in tribal restiveness in Nigeria.
RomanceRe: The Lies Men Always Tell Fat Ladies by TheMortician: 9:34am On Jun 04, 2017
FitnessDoctor:
If you had a fat sister and you heard that most fat ladies dont live beyond 60, and there are men telling her that she look good and her curves are great.. would you advice her to slim down for her health??
Are you talking about fat or obese? What's the clever deflection with health concerns now?
RomanceRe: The Lies Men Always Tell Fat Ladies by TheMortician: 2:40am On Jun 04, 2017
FitnessDoctor:
First I am not trying to build anything like blog traffic here... If you click the link below, you will notice it does not go to my blog and there is no other link to my blog, because the people that follow me here on nairaland already know my blog like others know linda ikeji... so don't think I am just a blogger looking for traffic..

Second.. I am not generalizing but speaking to any fat lady that reads this post.. I spoke of my experience and I am telling ladies not to keep their weight because men tells them that they look good.. But because the weight is healthy.. If it is not healthy then it should be out no matter how good it looks... (Sex is not food and it is not all about life... It can never be substituted for good health)...

If a man cannot put your health and wellness first before thinking about sex, then he is no man.. because love is first about caring and affection, before sex....

Once again.. I am not here to just boost blog traffic by saying what I don't know... I only share from my experiences and if you read the post carefully I shared the a real life experience... Please read and reply this mention...

Stay Healthy, Stay Wise
Still the crux of my disagreement with you is this mindless and totally unthoughtful piece you made. You look like the one patronising these fat girls and I wonder what any fat girl reading that would feel.

You killed them more than your vilified sex hunters.

FitnessDoctor:
[b] So, I was at the barber shop today and I overheard a conversation between two men about fat ladies.. This is what I picked up...

Me eh, all those fat women na im I just like.. he said

Why?

As you dey do the thing for bed, her soft body go just dey press u, abi you nor know wetin I dey talk.. he said..

I just have these to say to fat ladies out there. All those men that are claiming that you look good with the fat in your body are not actually thinking about you in any other way than sex.. They stare at your curves, your breasts, your buttocks and sexual fantasies flow through their head.. Then they claim that you look good based on that category..

These are the men that after having sex with the lady 3 or 4 times, they then find her disgusting, they now look at the fat all over her and compare her to other ladies.. That is just how it is..

They may tell you that you look good the way you are and that you should not worry about what other people think.. That it is your life..

I am here to tell you otherwise... [/b]

Stay Healthy, Stay Wise
You're dangerously playing the God complex here.
RomanceRe: The Lies Men Always Tell Fat Ladies by TheMortician: 10:43pm On Jun 03, 2017
FitnessDoctor:
1. I don't run any fitness program at the moment.. I only share my experiences, research and health tips on my blog...
yes, fitness blog. I get it. Fat ladies can spurn the traffic .

FitnessDoctor:
2. This post goes to the fat ladies who believe that when men compliment their body.. They think it is just because they look good, but it is always towards sex....
You're still generalising and misinforming fat ladies. Lots of men love ladies with nice pad of flesh to cushion the thrusts of fúck. Sexual attraction is part of love. You're ignorantly msking men who go after fat ladies look dishonest because of your blog traffic. That's wrong.
FitnessDoctor:
As for the slim ladies ...I never talked about proclaiming love, but complimenting their bodies... Thank you..

3. There are men as such, because you are not one of them doesn't mean they don't exist...

Stay Healthy, Stay Wise
men varies in tastes for women. Some like it slim , some like it fleshy. Saying guys complementing a fat girl is purely deceitful is downright silly, bro.
RomanceRe: The Lies Men Always Tell Fat Ladies by TheMortician:
FitnessDoctor:
1. I don't run any fitness program at the moment.. I only share my experiences, research and health tips on my blog...
yes, fitness blog. I get it. Fat ladies can spurn the traffic .

FitnessDoctor:
2. This post goes to the fat ladies who believe that when men compliment their body.. They think it is just because they look good, but it is always towards sex....
You're still generalising and misinforming fat ladies. Lots of men love ladies with nice pad of flesh to cushion the thrusts of fúck. Sexual attraction is part of love. You're ignorantly msking men who go after fat ladies look dishonest because of your blog traffic. That's wrong.
FitnessDoctor:
As for the slim ladies ...I never talked about proclaiming love, but complimenting their bodies... Thank you..

3. There are men as such, because you are not one of them doesn't mean they don't exist...

Stay Healthy, Stay Wise
men vary in tastes for women. Some like it slim , some like it fleshy. Saying complementing a fat girl is purely deceitful is downright silly, bro.
RomanceRe: The Lies Men Always Tell Fat Ladies by TheMortician: 10:16pm On Jun 03, 2017
FitnessDoctor:
Hello my name is Paul Samuel FitnesDoctor your favorite health blogger

I have been doing a lot of posting here and I have talked about fitness, health, looking good and so on.. Recently I have been coming under criticism when talking about fat ladies.

These criticisms are coming from men who claim that they prefer a fat lady (and also want their women to have skin on them) to a skinny one, because of her soft body and that fat is not entirely a bad thing, they claim that women are meant to have fat..

So, I was at the barber shop today and I overheard a conversation between two men about fat ladies.. This is what I picked up...

Me eh, all those fat women na im I just like.. he said

Why?

As you dey do the thing for bed, her soft body go just dey press u, abi you nor know wetin I dey talk.. he said..

I just have these to say to fat ladies out there. All those men that are claiming that you look good with the fat in your body are not actually thinking about you in any other way than sex.. They stare at your curves, your breasts, your buttocks and sexual fantasies flow through their head.. Then they claim that you look good based on that category..

These are the men that after having sex with the lady 3 or 4 times, they then find her disgusting, they now look at the fat all over her and compare her to other ladies.. That is just how it is..

They may tell you that you look good the way you are and that you should not worry about what other people think.. That it is your life..

I am here to tell you otherwise, that when I look at you.. I look at how healthy you are, it is your life and you deserve to live it in good health and not in sickness.. You might think you look good the way you are but when you lose that fat and stand unclad in the mirror you would just fall in love with your figure and then start flaunting it and causing traffic jam on the road..

Excess fat is no good and you should be caring for your health too because the number of people dying and the diseases out there are ever on the increase....

I am here to make you look good through health and fitness.. because you deserve to look good.. So you can hold me accountable for anything I say, because I am only looking out for your health.. When I say you are supposed to reduce body fat (including belly fat), I am not trying to sell a single product to you.. I am trying to make you look as good as you deserve to be and most importantly healthy..

My videos are coming up on YouTube soon (especially the HOW TO DO PRESS UPS THE RIGHT WAY VIDEO) and also more posts are coming up on my blog

You can join me right here on my blog here... https://page.co/v9dY

Stay Healthy, Stay Wise
Are you honestly trying to get fat ladies to enrol in your fitness program or you're just a natural wuzzbag as pure as they come?

Why would you declare men who express love for fat ladies to be lying? What arrant fuckery! If you say men who love fat ladies only do so because of the curves and soft skin "pressing" them, then it follows that those who proclaim love for slim girls do so because of easy access to full penetration and manoeuvrability. See how wack and generalised your stupid statement is?

And by the way, which man will have love for any lady without a healthy dose of sexual attraction?
CrimeRe: Lagos Police Inspector Buried Alive: "We Were Offered N2m To Keep Quiet"- Family by TheMortician: 10:25am On Jun 03, 2017
Finally, eventually and in a karmic manner, the Nigeria police will eventually fall into the grave they dig for ordinary Nigerian citizens
HealthRe: Obituary Of Paul Arisa, Viral Cancer Patient Who Died Recently by TheMortician: 8:55am On Jun 03, 2017
ZeroUnity:
No words for a busyless busy-less man...

Go to war..
Yeah! You're busy Photoshopping the pic of a dead "colleague" that went viral for cheap celebrity status and I am busy bursting your ass...

Nice collaboration.
RomanceRe: Guys, What's The Advantage Of Marrying A Woman That's A Virgin? by TheMortician: 8:10am On Jun 03, 2017
I was thinking this thread was an honest appraisal of the virtues of virgin women. Upon reading it, I realise it is a cheap attempt to ridicule non-virgins!
Car TalkRe: 8 Methods To Minimize The Price Of Your Car Insurance Coverage. by TheMortician: 7:34am On Jun 03, 2017
How did this crap even got to the front page when Nigerian car insurance aren't even enforceable and over 90% of the conditions listed by the OP aren't applicable in Nigeria?
HealthRe: Obituary Of Paul Arisa, Viral Cancer Patient Who Died Recently by TheMortician: 7:21am On Jun 03, 2017
ZeroUnity:
Please be sensitive here its my senior colleagues death.... and as well judge your reasoning before you type again. .
Please skip the emotional blackmaill and lame metal deflections.

You so evidently photoshopped that.

Your attention-craving is quite unique .
RomanceRe: Girls, How Easy Is It To Totally Love A Broke Guy? by TheMortician: 9:42pm On Jun 02, 2017
tobianthony:
If a broke guy or girl has no business being in a relationship how does he or her gain experience to treat their partners right when they have the money ?
I didn't state a broke girl ...I stated a broke DUDE has business being in a relationship or preaching love.
RomanceRe: Girls, How Easy Is It To Totally Love A Broke Guy? by TheMortician: 9:33pm On Jun 02, 2017
Cinderella5:
thanks for being honest.
just stating as it is. Women are biologically predisposed to look out for men with the resources to keep her and her offspring. A broke "fine" dude is a preconditioned illusion brought about by Hollywood and Bollywood. In reality it doesn't hold.


A broke dude has no business preaching love or falling into one.
HealthRe: Obituary Of Paul Arisa, Viral Cancer Patient Who Died Recently by TheMortician: 8:05pm On Jun 02, 2017
ZeroUnity:
Rest In Peace Great Ikenga...

I was with Him before He went for his second Surgery..... God bless the Dead..
you had to Photoshop that for what reason exactly?
RomanceRe: Girls, How Easy Is It To Totally Love A Broke Guy? by TheMortician: 8:00pm On Jun 02, 2017
Cinderella5:
In my opinion, a girl loving a broke guy is like a guy loving an ugly girl, it's tough.

Girls how do you cope in loving broke guys?
Hahahaha, ironically and brutally truthful. Contrary to what Hollywood has conditioned us to believe, a girl's primary motive for a long term relationship is looking for a strong male to look after her, physical looks is only a bonus. Women actually are drawned to character, attitude and the means of provision far more than the idea of a fine broke dude.
CrimeRe: 7 Charged With ‘murder’ For The Gruesome Lynching Of Military Officer In Ghana by TheMortician: 6:16pm On Jun 02, 2017
iysa:
Yeah, you are right in some aspect,he was posted there to combat illegal mining in that area...So i don't by the mistake identity story,because they he was but still went ahead to attack him....
That officer was posted there three weeks ago,and he is regular jogger on that route.
my point is if he has been in the area for 3 weeks, why was he asking for directions from the woman who raised the alarm?

The killing was senseless and barbaric, but going for a routine jog with an official pistol .....
RomanceRe: The Tribalism Displayed On Nairaland Should Not Be Overlooked by TheMortician: 4:23pm On Jun 02, 2017
The tribal expletives and ridiculing isn't the only evil engulfing Nairaland. Seun obviously has taken Nairaland as a pet project leaving it to be mynded by a vindictive regulator who exploits the open interpretation of rule 2 and 20 to ban at will according to his own subjective impersonation of justice.

Never has there been a viral rise of alternates and ceaseless trolling until the 6 and 8 months ban system was introduced.

A clue should be taken from Facebook, Twitter, redit and other forums where moderating is as impersonation as refereeing.
PoliticsRe: Reps Propose Six Months Jail Term For Anyone Who Distorts Queues by TheMortician: 10:47am On Jun 02, 2017
omusiliyu:
A bill proposing six months imprisonment for persons who shunt or distort queues in public places on Thursday scaled second reading at the House of Representatives.

The Sponsor of the bill, Rep. Abubakar Amuda-Kannike (Kwara-APC), while leading debate on it, said that it sought to ensure that Nigerians conducted themselves orderly in public places.

Amuda-Kannike said that it was normal practice for some Nigerians to shunt or distort queues and go unpunished.

He expressed worry that recent events had shown that Nigeria was on the verge of losing its cherished sense of nationalism, cultural identity and hospitality.

“The bill underscores the need to re-awaken a derailed national culture by proposing disciplinary measures to guide Nigerians in their daily behaviours.

“In our society today, out of total disregard for other persons, who strive to do the right thing by conducting themselves orderly in public places, a large number of Nigerians distort queues and go unpunished.

“The bill if passed shall provide a starting point of value and cultural re-orientation in Nigeria,” the lawmaker said.

He expressed optimism that the bill if passed, future generations would have a more sane society that would help to shape morals, principles and respect for each other in addition to adequate awareness on what constitute nationhood.

He decried the prevailing level of corruption, indiscipline, disrespect to elders and the rule of law in the country.

“The bill underscores the need to re-awaken the derailed national culture by proposing disciplinary measures to guide Nigerians in their daily behaviours.

“Any nation that is not organised cannot have rapid growth.

“We should be seen as organised people from point of entry but we have accepted that anything goes.

“Every school should have civic education in its curriculum to instil patriotism and orderliness in the country,” Amuda-Kannike said.

Contributing, Rep. Sam Onuigbo (Abia-PDP) said that the bill would also ensure orderliness, equity, fairness and justice in the distribution of services in the country.

“It will be nice for us to be seen as orderly people from the point of entry into the country,” Onuigbo said.

Rep. Ayo Omidiran (Osun-APC) said “by being orderly in all our activities, we will be transmitting good behavioural pattern to generations and this will promote a better society”.

After the debate, the bill was passed for third reading through a unanimous voice vote.



https://www.dailytrust.com.ng/news/general/reps-propose-6-months-jail-term-for-anyone-who-distort-queues/200174.html
If Nigerians need punitive measures to keep the queue, then we're finished as a country.

However, thumbs up to the super dumb senator who wastes his constituency's vote and funds proposing useless and pointless unenforceable bills leaving burning issues that ills this country unattended.
RomanceRe: 6 Categories Of Nairalanders That Will Never Get Banned by TheMortician: 10:42am On Jun 02, 2017
Those with big boobs and skinny frame which falls into the wild fantasy of a man with depraved mynd.
CrimeRe: 7 Charged With ‘murder’ For The Gruesome Lynching Of Military Officer In Ghana by TheMortician: 10:26am On Jun 02, 2017
Unfortunate death ! But what's a military man doing on the streets in mufti and a pistol and asking for directions?

It means he wasn't familiar with the terrain and it's not his usual jogging route. Thorough investigation should be carried. Something isn't right.
PoliticsRe: Why Buhari Chose UK Ahead Of Nigerian Hospitals — Lai Muhammad by TheMortician:
Old age and stupidity are rare combination but this minister makes old age synonymous with foolishness.

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