₦airaland Forum

faketan:
Very funny. how many maids are helped? Look at the derogatory way someone refered to maids, take her and her ghana must go meaning that all they can have is ghana must go.

Any body who is priviledged should know that everybody is human no matter what role they play. If 90% of youngsters cannot control there sexual feelings, then she shld not crucified. [sub]forgot her crime is that she is a maid[/sub]She is pregnant not hailing her though but how many of the people here have never got pregnant or procured an abortion? The problem here is because she is a maid. Too bad she under 18. But have done worse.

If you like attack mee. . . vava vooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom

I would be stupid to even attack you, cus you aint worth it. i said that from my own perspective, we had a maid and my parents sent her to school, paid her and fed her, while she stayed with us, but she was sneaking from school to go visit a guy. when she got pregnant, we made sure the guy owned up to his actions. and they are married today. so if you want to judge go find someone else, cus i ain't got your time.

Some of these maids sef, are very annoying . they would come and cause problem for families that want to help them. same thing happened to us. but in our own case, the guy accepted the girl and they are married.

I think the guy should be made to accept his actions. your parents should put their foot down and make sure he accepts his actions. also the parents of the girl should also be put in their seat, what do they mean by that. they should have taught their daughter better. now they want to blame someone else.

I got no advice for you, only, you deserve the slap.
for raising your hands on her.
even though i don't support her attitude, doesn't give you a right to slap her.

thats why am saying, whats in the past remains in the past. from all indications its obvious she treated you badly, and you knew it and ended it . so why do you wanna go back again to the problems?

hhhhmmmmm. still don't agree with u.
thats why we don't allow our anger over rule us. especially when taking rash decisions concerning ending a relationship. but i guess we are humans. and we make mistakes.
but i still think whats meant to be would be, and there is no need trying so hard to make it happen.

2dye4:
WELL PUT! BUT THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS ATIMES ESPECIALLY WHEN THE BREAKUP WAS SOMETHING BOTH PARTIES NEVER REALLY WANTED. BUT DA SHOW MUST ALWAYS GO ON.

Well i don't think there are exceptions. i strongly believe whats meant to be will be. if it dosen't work out, then i see no need hanging unto it.

ur welcome.

Nope, whats in the past, stays in the past. period.

lmao. what an advice.

.

zignor:
If it is true, then you must have boasted about your cash

And she want to verify . . . .seeing is believing

You wrapped it up.

heh heh heh, i look at this and laugh my ass out.

Never knew we had people without hearts? heh heh heh heh
no insult intended, Good luck anyway.

hey yaaah, pele ohhh
But you got to have a thick skin on NL, to survive. if you take it too personal, You would only keep on feeling bad. you don't expect everyone to be nice, it just doesn't happen.

@topic

You meant the opposite right?

@topic

Proud to be an Akwa Ibomite, though i don't know how to type in ibibio

@topic
lol, very funny.

@iice,
Lmao.

@topic
when i saw this topic couldn't help laughing my ass off, poor guy.

@topic

i think its a wrong thing to do. chastity is a personal thing between an individual and God. i suggest you tell her what is right and wrong, explain the implications of choosing the wrong path and leave her to choose. because no matter how you restrict her, if she wants to have sex, she would.

Kemitola:
You guys are not serious. If your wife is richer than u it doesn't mean she will not be submissive. If she is not proud before she will give you enough respect and with that you will catch up with her. Your wife being richer than you is no big deal.

i must agree with you on that, so many guys especially nigerian men are so closed minded, that they see it as a big issue.
i just think its all insecurity, they are so insecure. most see this as a way to suppress the woman, but one thing they forget is, a submissive wife is a submissive wife, and a wife that is not submissive is not no matter how you suppress her.

i see nothing wrong in a lady footing her bills when out on a date.

jayon:
With the divorce rate over 50%, too many are apparently making a serious mistake in deciding whom to spend the rest of their life with. To avoid becoming a “statistic”, try to internalize these 10 insights.

1. You pick the wrong person because you expect him/her to change after you’re married. The classic mistake! NEVER MARRY POTENTIAL!! The Golden rule is , if you can’t be happy with the person the way he or she is now, don’t get married. As a colleague of mine so wisely put it, “You actually can expect people to change after they are married……for the worst!”. So when it comes to the other person’s spirituality, character, personal hygiene, communication skills, and personal habits, make sure you can live with these as they are now,

2. You pick the wrong person because you focus more on chemistry than on character. Chemistry ignites the fire but good character keeps it burning. Beware of the “I’m in love” syndrome. “I’m in love” often means “I’m in lust”. Attraction is there, but have you actually checked out this person’s character? Here are four characteristics to definitely check for:

Humility:
Does this person believe that “doing the right thing” is more important than personal comfort?
Kindness:
Does this person enjoy giving pleasure to other people? How does she/he treat people she/he doesn’t have to be nice to? Does she/he do volunteer work? Give to charity?
Responsibility:
Can I depend on this person to do what she/he says she/he is going to do?Happiness:
Does this person like himself/herself? Does she/he enjoy life? Is she/he emotionally stable? Ask yourself: Do I want to be more like this person? Do I want to have a child with this person? Would I like my child to turn out like him or her?

3. You choose the wrong person because you do not share a common life goal and priorities. There are three basic ways we connect with another person:

1. Chemistry and compatibility

2. Shared common interest

3. Shared common life goal

Make sure you share a deeper level of connection that sharing life goals provide.
After marriage, the two of you will either grow together or grow apart. To avoid growing apart, you must figure out what you’re living for while you are single and then find someone who has come to the same conclusion as you. This is the true definition of a soul mate. A soul mate is a goal mate…two people who ultimately share the same understanding of life’s purpose and therefore share the same priorities, values and goals.

4. You pick the wrong person because you do not have deeper emotional connection. To evaluate whether you have a deeper emotional connection or not, ask; “Do I respect and admire this person?” This does not mean, “Am I impressed by this person?” We are impressed by a Mercedes. We do not respect someone because they own a Mercedes. Yes, you should be impressed by qualities of creativity, loyalty, determination, etc but do you actually respect and admire this person who possesses these qualities? Also ask: “Do I trust this person?” This also means, “Is he/she emotionally stable? Do I feel I can rely on him/her?

5. You pick the wrong person because you choose someone with whom you don’t feel emotionally safe. Ask yourself the following questions: Do I feel calm, peaceful and relaxed with this person? Can I fully be myself and express myself with this person? Does this person make me feel good about myself? Do you have a really close friend who does make you feel this way? Make sure the person you marry makes you feel the same way! Are you afraid of this person in any way? You should not feel you need monitor what you say because you are afraid of how the other person will view it. If you’re afraid to express your feelings and opinions openly, there’s a problem with the relationship.

Another aspect of feeling safe is that you don’t feel the other person is trying to control you. Controlling behaviors are a sign of an abusive person. Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you. There is a big difference between “controlling” and “making suggestions”. A suggestion is made for your benefit; a control statement is made for their benefit.

6. You pick the wrong person because you don’t put everything on the table. Anything that bothers you about the relationship must be brought up for discussion. Bringing up the uncomfortable stuff is the only way to evaluate how well the two of you communicate, negotiate, and work together. Over the course of a lifetime, difficulties will inevitably arise.

You need to know now, before making a commitment: Can you resolve your differences and find compromises that work for both of you? Never be afraid to let the person know what bothers you. This is also a way for you to test how vulnerable you can be with this person. If you can’t be vulnerable, you can’t be intimate. The two go hand in hand.

7. You pick the wrong person because you use the relationship to escape from personal problems and unhappiness. If you are unhappy and single, you’ll probably be unhappy and married, too. Marriage does not fix personal, psychological and economical problems. If anything, marriage will exacerbate them. If you are not happy with yourself and your life, take responsibility to fix it now while you are single. You’ll feel better and your future spouse will thank you.

8. You choose the wrong person because you get involved sexually too quickly. This can be a big problem because it often precludes a fully honest exploration of important issues. Sexual involvement tends to cloud ones mind. And a clouded mind is not inclined to make good decisions. It is not necessary to “test drive” in order to find out if a couple are sexually compatible. If you do your homework and make sure you are intellectually and emotionally compatible, you don’t have to worry about sexual compatibility. Of all the studies on divorce sexual incompatibility is never cited as a main reason why people divorce.

9. You pick the wrong person because the man doesn’t understand what a woman needs most. Men and women have unique emotional needs and more often than not, it is the man who just doesn’t get it. Jewish tradition places the onus on the man to understand the emotional needs of the woman and to satisfy them. The unique need of a woman is to be loved. To feel that she is the most important person in her husband’s life. The husband needs to give her consistent, quality attention.

This most apparent is Judaism’s approach to sexual intimacy. The Torah obligates the husband to meet the sexual needs of his wife. Sexual intimacy is always on the woman’s terms. Men have two speeds: “on” and “off”. Women are experience oriented. When a man is able to switch gears and become more experience-oriented, he will discover what makes his wife very happy. When the man forgets about his own needs and focuses on giving his wife pleasure, amazing things will happen.

10. You pick the wrong because he/she is involved in a triangle. To be “triangulated” means a person is emotionally dependent on someone or something else while trying to develop another relationship. A person who hasn’t separated from his or her parents is a classic example of triangulation. People can also be triangulated with things as well, such as work, drugs, internet, hobbies, sports or money. Be careful that you partner are free of triangles. The person caught in a triangle cannot be fully emotionally available to you. You’ll not be their number one priority. And that’s not basis for a marriage.



Ability is what you’re capable of doing……,

Motivation determines what you do……

Attitude determines how well you do it!

Do what you have to do about your relationship,, and do it NOW!

Nice write up there, especially the ones in bold.very true.

we often do not realize what we are going into till we are out. sometimes we want to over look certain things because we think we are in love.

@topic

shooo , four days ke? you be magician?
to me thats simply infatuation or lust, not love.
love grows.

@topic

My dear, move on with your life jooo. the guy is not worth such trauma your putting yourself through, just look at the bright side of things. things that are meant to be would surely be. but those that are not meant to be would not be, and its not worth fighting or stressing yourself over them.

its not a disadvantage to be short, ugly or fat. but the media has created a stereotype on these attributes.

that has created a huge perception on audiences, that you must be tall, beautiful and slim to be accepted.
if anyone is to be blamed, blame the media.

can't help saying, chei . at how gullible some people can be, they have even started abusing the man.

@poster

I went through the site, and noticed its a blog from a sensational magazine. it did not even give a direct link to the original story, no reference, quotation marks or in text citation used.

the question of credibility comes in. how credible is your source?

of all magazines to believe, its the encomium magazine
when i was in nigeria, that magazine always had junk stories. except they have brushed up

I was taught, to question the credibility of a source before accepting the news. because the media is very manipulative, they would do anything to attract the audience attention.
so till i see a credible source, am not believing the story.

all those saying he snatched his friend's girlfriend, should read his story again.

this is clearly not a case of snatching, but just selfishness on the part of his friend. the friend was not dating the girl at the time they both met, and obviously had no plans of dating the girl, also the friend told him to go ahead if he wanted to date her. so tell me how he has snatched his friend's girlfriend there?

heh heh heh , you should know naaa,they don't want to deep hand into their pockets. stingos.

you don't have to spam the whole forum with your damn thread to get response.

@topic

And why do guys love telling the sweet lies, why can't they ever be truthful for once?