₦airaland Forum

hardbody:
Guy either you were a contract staff or a back office teller. Stop forming.

NYSC probably.

ak47mann:
Yoruba people again?

Lemme book front-row seats. If this thread doesn't reach 8 pages eh...
Infact...
Infact...
I will baff with cold water.

Rose2014:
Why not help me out by telling me the name and the location of the Osun restraunt?

Osun Defender first published that news. Nobody knows the whereabouts of the restaurant. So why don't you direct your enquiries to Osun Defender. If the story was true and they value their reputation as a publishing house that should be taken seriously and not read like Sahara Reporters or Hints magazine, then they should refute the police allegation and tell us the location of said restaurant. You get?

Rose2014:
This kind of lie eh

Police raided the restraunt n found fresh human heads and ten people have bn arrested sef

Yet the Last sentence : nobody knows the name or the location of the restraunt.

Punch could've done better than this na. At least make the lie sound believable small. Haba.

Rose2014 can write a more convincing story that this




Punch fear God o

Lemme help you out. It's simple comprehension and I am in a charitable mood right now

According to the BBC: Police raided the restraunt n found fresh human heads and ten people have bn arrested sef

Then according to the Punch article: nobody knows the name or the location of the restraunt.

So you see, your earlier post wasn't necessary. It's simple comprehension.

What was your WASSCE grade for English? Don't lie.

Do you now see the grand conspiracy hatched by all these heartless women to bewitch men and put them in a heartless bondage and spell till the end of time?

Do you now see?

A girl will walk past you and leave you with a burning after-image of an aggressive bust. You'll salivate for Lord knows how long and may even join the Vaseline squad to relieve tension.

But after all said and done and when the bust is finally freed of its shackles to bounce and titillate in its twin youthful glory, all you'll see are a pair of worn out slippers like those discarded by a gworo seller after 5 yrs of hard labour. Boobies which have long ago been squeezed and rumpled of all youthfulness and suppleness and are now being disguised with that heinous deceit kit called the WonderBra. "Wonder" indeed. It'll leave you the expectant dude, wondering if something has happened to your eyes or if the boobies are trying to play a fast one on you.

Just look at Ini's chest for goodness sakes. Are these the boobsicles we used to know? because THEY HAVE BEEN EXPOSED!! There is no wonderbra to put the wonder in the boobies again.

O! Dare, sing that song for me again

You're not the breas.ts I used to know
You're a shadow of yourself
I should have squeezed you long ago
Like an orange dropped from a tree
I hear the flappings on the chest
And I know that one day you will beeeee...
Used to chase mosquitoes...

Dude!

Are you the Real Slim Shady?!

See as you lean like one pink Mamba snake.
Just kidding.

Hypocrisy.

But these people can be very lazy o. The grave is barely 3ft deep. Can't a dog dig out that thing? Check na.

olisaokere:
My question is this,why would a literate man post a copy of his bills online?whats he trying to prove?

Vain bragging rights.

I'm sure when she thinks of the trauma of staring at his face, the only straffing positions she'll give him are bingo style and reverse cowgirl.

If you doubt me, put ya 10k.

Chai OP!

You went and posted that horror-inducing photo again! Bet why??!!

badassProdigy:
Here are 12 habits that, in the interest of romance and privacy, are best kept on the down low...

1. Going to the bathroom. Peeing is fine.
Pooping? Not so much.

2. And while we’re on the subject, the same goes for farting...

3. Plucking ingrown hairs of the pubic variety...

4. Or bleaching/waxing any area where the sun don’t shine...

5. Putting on Spanx. It’s not a graceful process, OK?

6. Examining blackheads or popping pimples in a magnified mirror.

7. For the ladies, removing your ‘stache and/or
stubborn chin hairs.

8. For the gents, scratching your balls...

9. Taking out your Invisalign. Because spit is everywhere.

10. Inserting or removing a tampon.

11. Stepping on the scale. Ain’t nobody need to see that number but you.

12. Picking your nose. Actually it’s best not to do this at all, unless it’s with a tissue. In private.


SO, DO YOU AGREE...?

You failed Nos 2, 8 and 11 woefully cos we've done those numerous times.

Some of what you posted there do not even apply to us Nigerians sef. What is Spanx? Invisalign?

I believe Wale Tinubu is a blood relation of Bola Tinubu?

NSCDC. Pay settlement in hundreds of thousands before you can be given the job offer.

I believe when a people are dissatisfied with their representation at the national level (Senate and House of Reps), they have the right to recall those representatives ba?

In more saner climes though.

The restoration of the Biafran state will correct all these ignominous anomalies.

Edo how market?

adewaletb3:
Black mamba in nigeria. What are you saying bro. I am a snake loving person. All my life I have never seen a black mamba in Nigeria before. Please don't scare the public

I've seen the black mamba. Several times. At Maiduguri. An almajiri tried to scare me with a baby one once when I was much younger.

Then around 2004 at Ifite, Awka, I saw a dead snake which (I'm not kidding), was not less than 6ft long. Extremely black. I wasn't sure if it was a black mamba or Cobra. The grasses around the snake died as it decomposed. Real scary I tell you.

ernal1:
I've been in dis situation b4 bck in 2004 my University days, I met dis pretty looking girl & her friend together, I collected her Number & took the both of them out dat same day & spend good money. Then the ist time she came visiting me, she came wit her friend. I saw dat it's a trap because they are both the most sought after girls in school then. I jst turned my Attention to her friend, discussing & chatting wit her, making it as if she isn't dere. So whn it was time for them to go, I gave them a ride home, dropping my girl in her Hostel ist, b4 I went to drop her friend. The next time I was so shocked my girl came alone dis time to pass the night wit me & the rest was history. All u need is to be a big boy wit swag & 9ja girls will flock around u like bees.

Simples!

Show me a wise post and I'll show you a wise man.

Jayjay0:
call ur boys nd fu*k the shit out of her nd her friend

As in, with or without the girls' consent?

Whyyyyyy!!!!! Whyyyyyy!!!!!!
I promised myself that I wasn't going to comment on Oshiomhole's appearance.

Lord knows I triiiieeed!

What is this?!

lalasticlala:
Tiwq Savage's husband just posted the picture below with the caption "Emmanuel "

Could it be that Tiwa may have given birth to a baby boy?





https://instagram.com/p/2tnhN-xpvm/

Or it may also mean that her ultrasound scan revealed that she's carrying a baby boy.

Even JayZ's post after the uber-secret delivery by Beyonce, showed a live pic. Not a pencil drawing of a dude kneeling and cradling his wife's distended tummy.

iGeneral:
I will be brutally candid with you. If your idea of working is build a career in banking, I will say you haven't found a job yet even as you claim to have two. I don't know of UBA but Zenith will most likely recruit you as a "Transaction Officer" with 80k monthly salary with no other allowances. As a transaction officer, you are stuck on that level until your contract will expire. If the bank still needs your services, they will renew the contract on same terms and you start the cycle again. This job is basically a sustenance or subsistent job. It absolutely holds out no career progression prospect.. If you do take it, start immediately looking for how to move to the next bank that will offer you a professional and not a contract offer. NOTE: Zenith doesn't have a practice of converting contract staff to professional staff even if you are as qualified as Ngozi Okonjo Iweala. All the best.

When was the TO level introduced?

And you want to swear that bankwide no TO staff has been converted since the inception of that level?

Remarkable:
... so if I tell you that it is true, you'd believe me?

You didn't ask or check the source you originally heard it from (did you?) and you've come to NL to "verify" the news?

You could assist in corroborating or negating the story with a verifiable source.

@OP Breakfast bill amounted to 1, 542, 000 Lebanese Pounds. As of today, 1Lebanese = 0.1316 NGN. Hence the bill was approx NGN202, 927.20. Or that 4-digit USD figure also written on the receipt.

Modaf***er illiteracy is a disease. Go treat ur self ASAP. That's how clowns like you'd come to the bank with Korean Won, expecting stacks of Naira in exchange. Idiota!

I'm pretty sure Emami put up that receipt pic there cos he was sure expecting this kind of response you displayed.

irunoobo:
IGBOS ARE JUST ONE CONFUSED BUNCH

You this tw@t.

Why are all your posts are just fixated on Igbos. Did anyone do you any damage?

Come close dearie. I mend broken hearts.

Wasn't aware Ice Prince had anything going with Etisalat. What endorsements did Ice Prince do?

I heard that Orji's first son a.k.a Ikuku Abia, is currently in EFCC custody. How true is that?

Hmmm... No be small things O.

So if the country was to split now, with the SE/SS going their seperate ways, this is the kind of news we would be reading everyday about Nigeria?

Idrismusty97:
Gradually they are moving closer to the South East and South south. Kidnappers waiting for them .

So if you were to write an exam on General knowledge about the SE, all you can pull out of that coconut head of yours is kidnapping abi?

Relocate from that your current domain. You may be suffering a protracted case of oxygen insufficiency to the brain.

POLICECAP:
Funny enough, most persons would av love to trek too bt work wouldn't allow them.

Like me

Even if it's from Enugu to Owerri.

I do like trekking.

For people who know what's up, FGC Maiduguri to Baga road - Don't know the distance but I'd done that several times during secondary school days. Chai. When men were boys.

Do you see how real this particular trek sounds?

I seriously doubt if that first guy actually trekked the entire distance from Lag to Abj.