₦airaland Forum

im so tired of this post. he dont care he beat his girl. he beat her till he was satisfied. what will he do next to satisfy himself? kill her? thats whats gonna happen if she goes bak to him.

ok, basic feminine requirements is just a euphemism for criteria.

men have criteria

women have criteria too.

i dont know if you can fall in love, i guess, i had a little internet boyfriend who would send me money, we talked on the phone alot. he told me all his secrets. i told him tall tales.  needless to say that relationship ended when he tried to be controlling, so i humiliated him on the forum that we all posted on, as he had revealed some very personal information to me. looking back i feel sooo bad. i was a totally different person before i got saved. but through the blood of jesus i have been delivered and i would never be so mean and callous to another human being again.

even though i am a woman i totally agree with the op.

but if you wanna be the boss
you got to pay the cost
you wanna wear the pants
you got to be a man

if a man cant meet that criteria, then he is not fit to be the head of any household,nor the master over my mind and body and soul which need to be fed, with tender loving care, i will willingly let him lead while i follow, but only if he is on the right path. will do this by choice, not force, to the man who is capable and strong enough to be my lover,my brother,my father, my mate,my husband,my whole world.

here i am in the hospital
bandaged from feet to head
in a state of shock
just that much from being dead

i didn't think my woman could do something like this to me
i didn't think she had the nerve
i guess actions speak louder than words

you keep hurtin her
she keep being quiet
she might be holding something inside


THAT WILL REALLY REALLY HURT YOU ONE DAY


this poem expresses exactly how i feel. i would rather walk away from a person who i know is abusive, for their safety, and for my freedom. no man is worth killing.

Mayflowa:
To a large extent, I am absolute gentleman but I do realise beating some ladies can keep them sane at times. My friend's girlfriend, who is now is lovely wife,  started behaving well after she received a hot lefty slap fom my simple friend. She got the deserving slap in an attempt to cheat to his face. She thought she was in control of my friend.

Human psychology have never associated emotional love with kindness. people hardly love those who treat them nice. They just click to those who sorta disrespect and care less about them witout knowing why. A little anger here and there could tight up the relationship. hahaha. That is why bad guys rule mehnnnn

most abusers and those who allow themselves to be abused have one thing in common:they don't think too highly of themselves.

If a man stoops down to the level of hitting a woman for the sole purpose of maintaining control over his woman, its probably because he feels powerless in most other areas of his life. The only way to feel better about himself is to put his hands on someone he sees as even more powerless than himself. An abused woman will stay in an abusive relationship out of fear, fear of physical harm that the abuser has put into her, or the fear that she is not worthy to be treated right by any other man, another idea that the abuser has put into her.

Any strong woman will not tolerate any sort of maltreatment. And if a strong woman comes across an emotional/physical batterer who only seeks to tear her down, if she is smart, she will see right through these tactics designed to control another human being and run for the hills.

So here is my question to men who abuse: is putting your hands or verbally abusing another soul the only way that you can build up your sense of self? Why not try therapy or anger management or spiritual counseling to sort through these tumultuous feelings churning inside of you. Do not let the rage inside of you explode, causing you to hurt the ones you love most.  violence,  is not the key nor the answer.

 Your worst fear will come to pass: all those that you love will leave you.

Mrs, Chima:
I get your point and I wasn't referring to their intellectual abilities.  "Their dumb state of mind. prevents them from thinking rationally and coherently at a place or time".  

That's the classic definition of Battered Woman/Man Syndrome.

at the end of the day, its just low self esteem on both parts. especially in this case. the op knew the reaction he would get by ignoring her. he prolly was enjoying getting a rise out of her b/c it made him feel good. and her self esteem was low enough to stoop down to his level because it hurt her soooo bad and she needed to get his attention so bad that she ruined his phone.

really they seem like a match made in heaven. and really i dont think the op is really all that sorry, b/c he's broadcasting what he did to the whole world, like it's not something to be ashamed of.

Mynd_44:
Why should she change her sim card?
@OP, have you told him you don't want to speak to him again? If you have not, then you really should not complain

i thought i was making that clear by just not answering his calls. obviously he's sick, i told him i was gonna get a restraining order on him. he said whats that? I said im gonna call the police. he said why you wanna do that, just trying to draw me into a conversation, and that made me even angrier because to me he was acting like I had no right to not answer his calls.

Mrs, Chima:
Unfortunately dumb girls/boys will return to their abusers and someone will eventually die.

Some people are proud being batters and some are proud being battered.

Mrs. Chima,


a friend of mine explained it to me this way.


the man says to the woman, you ain't sheet, just to make her stay, and he keeps pounding on her. until she finally begins to believe that she deserves to be treated this way, and that if she just tries to please him just a little bit harder or stops doing this or that, that he will stop hitting her. then he stops for a little while, and then things are lovey dovey. then something triggers his anger yet again, and its just a merry go round, that just keeps going in circles and circles. really the two are co dependent on one another. it makes him feel powerful to have control over her, and she feels like if he don't hit on her, then he don't love her.

Mrs, Chima:
Because he knows you will take him back and that you are not over him.

oh no, there is NO WAY that would ever take him back. Actually Im kind of scared. i feel like he's emotionally stalking me. and to the other poster, there is no way that im gonna change my phone number, but recently i went online and learned how to block his number on my phone so hopefully that will solve this problem. i just dont understand his motives. it just doesn't make sense to me, and no i dont answer his calls, that only happened once the other day and the call was like 60 seconds, and he told me what i mentioned in my other post. and i told hi to leave me alone then I hung up.

@op

clearly you have anger problems, because there is a rage deep down inside of you that was laying dormant, and your girl acting the way she did was just the catalyst for all that rage inside you to come bursting out. You mentioned how you swore that you would never hit a woman, which leads me to believe that you grew up around domestic violence,and did not want a cycle to repeat itself. But the very thing that you did not want to become, has reared it's ugly head, because whether you like it or not, you were taught that putting your hands on a woman was what a man did when he was angry at a woman, or just angry period. I don't condone what your girl did, but you really need to seek help, because the monster has been unleashed, and you may be tempted to do the same thing again, especially if your girl returns to you after what you did to her. since you got away with it once, she's sending you the subtle message that if you were to act this way again, that she would stay, yet again, and a violent pattern would ensue.

ok, so I have been broken up with him for seven months, but he wont stop calling. he calls maybe 5 or 6 times in a row, two or three times a week. then he'll stop for a couple weeks, then he'll do the same thing all over again. I picked up the phone yesterday, and he asked why i wouldn't answer his calls any more, like its normal to call a person non stop who clearly doesn't want you. especially after they did you dirty,and you got fed up and walked away. And the thing is, he is not apologetic in the least over what he did to me. It's still about him., and when I answered the phone just that once, it was my fault that he kept calling because all i had to do was pick up the phone, then he wouldn't have to call over and over. So. i guess my question is, why is he doing this. what is the meaning behind his actions, because i'm really confused? when he had me, he didn't want me, now he does? i'm seriously scratching my head right now.

xynerise:
have you seen one?

that's irrelevant, however, what surprises me the most, are the christians who question the possibility that there are beings such as ghosts, angels, and the like. There are many instances in the bible of angels and spirits coming to the prophets with messages, etc.

Does that mean that they don't believe what the bible is saying? Are they picking and choosing what to believe and discarding what they dismiss as simply fiction. But the bible does not lie. Right? the bible would never steer us wrong. Right? Then why are there so many people out there with such little faith? Did not Jesus rise from the dead? Or do you think that that is nothing more than metaphor?

weed is bad because you don't know who you can trust, and what people will put in your weed.

wets- weed laced with embalming fluid

woolahs/primoes-weed laced with crack cocaine

weed laced with pcp

weed that is laced with lord knows what else

a friend told me about her cousin who smoked some bad weed and he has never been the same since. now he is in a nursing home because he is a living breathing vegetable.

yes ghosts exist.

Ok, so i'm in the church choir, which I really love, because I want to use my god given abilities to praise God. Although I listen to secular music, if I were to ever make a living as a singer, I refuse to sing worldly music.

I was at choir rehearsal, and i have a very loud, strong voice.(think loud like tina turner or patti labelle) So the one of the altos (the section I sing in) told me I was singing too loud and to tone it down a little bit. For some reason this hurt my feelings, because I was singing from the heart, and I was not trying to upstage anyone, but I felt that she was jealous and intimidated of my vocal prowess. To make a long story short, I acquiesced just to keep the peace. But in the future, I don't know what to do or say, because I feel like I' m somehow being told not to put my all into singing, and not to do my best so that others can feel better about themselves.

Are my hurt feelings justified? Should I really tone down my singing?

that i had a beautiful singing voice.

lol none taken.


welp, i must bid you nl'ers adieu for now.

im going to read my bible.

@ freecocoa


i know i dont want to settle. i have too that too many times with too many women, and they are all EXTREMELY  unhappy.


@ MarcAnthon


thats the whole point, its not a relationship. besides he was the one with all the requirements, but I also had requirements as well. He wanted what he wanted, and I wanted what I wanted.  On my part, some things you can't be compromised on, or manipulated into doing. which he prob would have tried to do next. He came to me with that old "you think im out to hurt you? line. and i told him he never could because I would never let him. he was silent for a long moment.  he could either take it,,,or do as he did and just leave it. im grateful, because at least i know what he is about, so i dont have to wonder. but he KNEW no matter how hard he tried he could not get what he wanted out of me, so in a way im proud of myself, for staying true to what i said i would do. it was just a test from god.

@tpia.

I never once led this guy on! unless if you call smiling at a man, leading him on.

besides, he's just as attracted to me as i am to him and he told me so, because he said he had been watching me for a while but was scared to approach me. and yes you are right, he is very experienced. i peeped game immediately and was astounded at how suave he was. but i still knew it was BS, therefore that made me angry, so i dont care about his detailed list. he can kick rocks, and kiss where the sun dont shine for all i care.

a man doesn't call the shots unless he has proved that he has what it takes to be a boss. and thats farrrr down the line, not in the dating stage. in the meantime, im not getting with anyone's program. a woman shouldn't have to settle for less, especially if she know's her worth.

MarcAnthon:
Lol. You come across as different, innocent and naive, all wrapped up in one. Isn't it a given that everyone pays their bills in the west? I get 'invited' for a night out for dinner only to find that I'm expected to pay for myself  . And this has nothing to do with the fact that I'm a guy. The girls in the company do the same and sometimes I get embarrassed but I'm told that's the culture here even dating couples. So don't you know that already?

lol. i think that's part of my charm. i just refuse to hold onto hurt and pain and life's worries that usually prematurely ages and makes one jaded. i won't accept less than what I WANT. any man who wants me has to get with MY PROGRAM. I'm  not desperate nor will i settle. it was different had he not asked me out on a date, then i would not have minded paying for myself. because once again, I have never asked anyone for anything, and dont even have the desire to.

freecocoa:
Is it just me or what?OP seriously i don't see what your problem is or what's there to complain about o,you got attracted to him first that's why you struck a convo,you said you don't want a relationship or the obvious thing he wants,what then do you want that made you want to add him on facebook?don't say "just friends" cos no one wants to stay "just friends" with someone he\she is attracted to,I think you are just disappointed he doesn't want what you want which is what i'm yet to figure out or did you expect him to propose since you are keeping yourself till marriage?

If you don't want a relationship like he doesn't and you don't want intimate things too then just let him know,it can't be that hard now can it?admit you wanted something,realize you can't have it and then move on,simples.

i dont know what i want, which is understandable at my age. but i don't think that i should have to go into seclusion, and not still talk to men, just because of what I choose not to do.


in the end it doesn't matter, he's just one fish in the sea. besides i got some satisfaction from the ordeal. because of him i got my "groove back" and he has reaffirmed the fact that i have what it takes to get whoever i want.

besides, it's my belief that eventually i will run into a man who will be willing to wait for me. if i don't still talk to men and stay on the scene, that man will never find me.

Ranoscky:
Op, u no wan chop Arab money? E no dey finish o! [kiddin.] lol

ok this much i understood, the rest? i dont know.


and no i dont want his money. I dont need anybody's money. Id rather go without that ask anyone for a dime.

but he offered, so he pays. everyone knows that rule.

@ op,i understand that guys always love to brag about who they smash, but uh, its really pointless to brag about it online, you act like they can even see if she's cute or not. for all we know she might have been a a two dollar street walker, and you payed for her time.

jus sayin,

as usual, you provide great responses and advice! thankyou! its just that sometimes I dont know how to tell men about how I feel about sex, because I know that they are not going to like what i have to say. thats why most of the time, I interact with males on a level of friendship, and never bring up anything about relationships, or even dates. he's the one who brought that mess up!


oh well, another one bites the dust.