₦airaland Forum

Law students no Sabu who they go Sue.

Made some sence

daywalker02:
My fiance and I are from the east of the Niger, same village, we grow up together, her grandfather was a strong native doctor before his death, this greatly affect the spiritual life of most the children and grandchildren, almost all battle with marine spirit, my girlfriend inclusive.

Though she have gone for deliverance and she is fine now.

Please I just want to know from our elders if this risk is worth it. She I go ahead and marry her

Since you believe in this, I suggest you stylishly invite up to five pastors randomly for prayer to confirm if she is free.

Can't he afford condom

music4me:
My Father is my father,I can't buy another one at Gbagi market....Although myself and d man have not spoken to each other in like 25yrs,na my paale he still be....

25, that is too much. I would not.like to derail the thread.

https://www.nairaland.com/6265016/adult-did-ever-confront-parents

coolsegun2002:
She can still lay some claims legally.. but only in a customary court if she decides to sue the family of the man for trying to cut off...

because a man and a woman ddnt marry legally by state law does not nullify the union completely as “never happened”....living with someone for a significant number of years with or without children technically counts as civil union everywhere in the world...the fact that she has a child makes her case even stronger....

She might not have a say with ordinary mouth. but her claims are valid if she drags the family of the husband to a customary court...

I agree with u . Spot on Does any of the man family know of the union?

If no, only a DNA test can be used as evidence in court

O did not do English in secondary school so someone who did should teach me

So it’s actually shocking and funny when people act like you commit heresy by saying African parents are toxic and/or abusive. This is not me pointing an accusing finger at your family (although if you feel attacked, check your family) and it is by no means a generalization. I think it’s interesting how people I’ve interacted with that have abusive parents never agree that their parents are abusive but are sometimes the same ones that say the minute they move out of their parents’ house, they’re done with their parents.

I believe and always say that the first step to progress is acceptance, you’ve got to accept your reality as it is, no painting and colouring. How do you explain parents cutting their children with broken plates because they broke a plate? Or how do you explain a parent constantly using whips and belt heads to flog their children? Or you think that’s too extreme? What about the parents whose teaching/correction/love language is cane? Or slaps? Are you raising goats?

And then beyond the physical abuse that abounds and is now the norm in our homes, let’s talk about the verbal abuse. When people recount what their parents tell them sometimes, I’m honestly in shock. The last one I heard, I had to say she wasn’t the man’s child, because I can’t imagine a parent say these horrible words to their children. But apparently, it is a thing! Like Sefi Atta said in Everything Good Will Come, by the time these kids are grown, they’d have beat out every creativity in the child and shouted out every initiative from the child.

Somehow though, we’ve grown to see these things as “normal” and even pride in them to the point of anticipating giving your child such dreadful childhood, and I think this is what I’m most concerned about. The argument is constantly that “we turned out fine because of this training”, nahh boo! Permit me to shock you, you didn’t! You turned out fine, in spite. In fact, how do you know you’re fine even? Because you’re wearing top and trouser? A lot of us have vary levels of psychological and emotional issues as a result of “this training”.


I feel like we need to get to the point where we realize and admit our parents are not perfect and so are bound to make mistakes. They probably did their best based on the amount of exposure and understanding they had but we can definitely do better. Being toxic is not and should not be a sign of “Africanness” – this is a narrative that needs to be changed tbh (one day we’d talk about the shitty narratives we were handed, one day but not today).

Aswana

https://tobechispeaks./2020/11/20/most-african-parents-are-toxic/

AFvckingAlpha:
My niggarr!!

You wont find Igbos in the Northern hemisphere.

Tell me the Igbos are in Syria or Iraq, how does one thrive in war ridden states??

As long as there is life there, Igbos are there. An Igbo man will learn their language, bear their name and pretend to convert to Islam to do his buisness. Just speak the language and he will identify himself. I was shocked to see an Igbo man in one interior village in maiduguri.

Nice

Be a lady they said’

‘Don’t show your skin, don’t show your thighs. Cover up! Leave something to imagination.

Loosen up. Show some skin. Look sexy. Look hot!

Don’t be provocative. YOU ARE ASKING FOR IT!

You are too dressed up

You are too dressed down.

‘You are asking for it’ statement caught my attention. Its either your red lipstick was too red, or your skirt was too short, or your cleavage was too wide. Or worse… your boobs were too big!


Huddah cosmetics
Stop with the makeup you slut, why are you trying to deceive and trick our men and sons.

Cover up! You are so vain.

Who said you are pretty? Don’t be conceited.

Be humble. Being comfortable in your skin just makes you a hoe.

Be a lady. But at the back of your mind know that whatever you do, the society will judge you, SLUT.


instagram image
Do you know the most confounding thing about the word slut? Arguably, it is the most ubiquitous slur used against women. Nobody defines it.  But they can easily point you to a direction of a woman to describe to you what a slut is.

I was brought up to believe that I shouldn’t be called a slut. Otherwise, my promiscuity will be in question. Girl’s purity is an egg to be guarded;

Dress codes

Specific curriculum

Even laws and legislation.

Having too much sex as a woman means you need mental therapy, or you are handling a mental breakdown. A heartbreak maybe. Or you are just being a prosti-tot.

SLUT; a girl, a lady, a woman who deviates from norms of femininity. Do not conform to the society gender script.

The nebulous quality of the slur slut is what makes it seem so distressing. ‘Slut’ hits and sticks to a person in a way that ‘asshole’ never will.

Apparently, the society has decided it. The first rule to being a slut is being a woman.

Men of course are immune to this frenzy definition. When a girl sexts, she is a slut, when a man sexts, he is free from judgment.


instagram image
Women are sluts while men are, well, men are men.
https://tobechispeaks./2020/11/06/do-ladies-slut-shame-each-other-more/

God over man

Will a girl ever say I Want Sex to someone she has never had sex with?

I tell them openly, it is because of this that is who I did not get married.
I cannot be using money I should use to marry to train your child and wife while they are of no benefit to me


Next time,do not rush into Marriage and do not ask me to for any help except you bring your wife here let me Bleep her first

i926:
You might have a good heart towards them or even seek to know why they do what they do like a psychologist but thing is, you can't fix them up. Prostitutes are damaged women. It's not your job to fix damaged women, they can fix themselves up when they decide to.

Channel your resources and time to other directions, bro

You can develop the enabling environment to facilitate their healing. You can be a friend without sex or money. Just call them and inquire how their day went. Everyone need unconditional love. Those who are new in the game may be redeemed. As for the experienced one, it may need a miracle. But unconditional love to all is what Christ preached. Remember, Jesus dined with prostitute

lefulefu:
if u want to help any lady at all it would be better u start with the ones in legit hustle so as to encourage them.a young girl doing mobile resturant selling rice and stew on her wheelbarrow under the hot sun or the one doing makeups or sewing.those ones will make good use of the money.u give ashi money na probably hard drugs or ciga she go use am buy.many street ashis need rehabitation not money per say

Many of them are bread winner of family.some have a six year old son.

AlexBells:
The last one I was with we discussed about a lot of things, like how she feel being a prostitute, how do she feel having all sorts of men on her and what's it like always having to worry about STD and above all how much she makes in a day, I once offered to pay up one of the prostitutes daily earning just to lodge her in a decent hotel for a day have a drink and talk. Apparently she told me she makes an average of 5K to 10K a day, I also learnt through our conversations that most of them consume a whole lot of painkillers drug by self medication, a terrible risk

I love your style,keep it up

i926:
Are you scared of talking to girls that ain't doing prostitution?


Do you know one man's good girl, is another man's prostitute? With this knowledge, will you pay all women for having conversations with them?



Many stupid Nairaland guys fantasies is to kiss, hold a girl tight, kiss her neck, cuddle her, she talks and he listens as she complains about life and her boyfriend but behind the scenes there is another guy that smacks her ass of that same girl, puts his dick down her mouth, fvck her pussy recklessly, fondles her bress like..he might give her 2k or nothing. Don't be stupid guys

Prostitute are normal human being. How are we sure your girl is not a prostitute.
I have met an honest, intelligent girl who ventured into d trade to help cater for her younger ones and finish her education when her dad died suddenly.
She hated the job but she love education more. She has saved enough to. Rent a shop, her younger ones sell in. She plans to stop immediately NYSC. She hated the job
If she can get a financial assistance, she will stop but men do not assist for free that is how d job began, even her uncle wanted to sleep with her before helping her.

Prostitute need someone to love them for who they are and not for their job. If you can do that, they make best friend. They know the bad boys in the hood and can help you when you get into trouble.
Never under value them. They are human like every one
https://tobechispeaks./2020/11/07/dirty-miracle/

Gang90:
Don't go and find something useful to do with your life, of all the girls that's around, why pay for slut you won't shag, is just like buying cloth that you won't wear

Nothing wrong in dashing a girl money. Us it not better to pay for a conversation than to pay for sex. The prostitute need friends too. By chatting, he may convert her.

Congratulations

Broke people try to satisfy The girl more.

Others save the energy to use it at work to make more money

True

Emotionally, mentally and financial



How much has she spent on him?

Before protest,food cost

purples25:
Yep.

I was reading your diary the other day . I think you will make a good writter. I suggest you open your blog

Do you look for meaning in everything.

Did your parents give him gifts
Did your parents insult him

He could be giving love the only way he received from his parents.
He is a victim too.
Cut off from him but do not hate him.
https://tobechispeaks./2020/11/20/most-african-parents-are-toxic/

Agricaddict:
In those days, they would marry six wives and they would all get along but just ordinary girlfriend/boyfriend in our age will give you a hell of experience that will make you even think of commiting suicide. Still the same planet, but what has changed?

Ladies then we're submissive and unhappy

Ladies now are liberal and happy

I do not feel anything when I kiss. Am I wierd