₦airaland Forum

pro01:
I wonder why a lot of peeps here (especially females) are shouting themselves hoarse that "I don't give a shyyte" "who cares", blah blah blah! Certainly if you truly don't give a shyyte about 9ice's WISE decision not to re-marry, you should just ignore the damn thread and comment on the umpteen 'more interesting' threads for gawd's sake! Some peeps are just too funny to inspire laughter.

@ Topic

It's good for 9ice. Great infact. He's better off single and bleeping free to keep a harem of beauties with whom he has no strings attached. I reckon it wouldn't hurt so bad if one finds out that a biatch in one's harem (as against a beloved wife) is giving fluting to one's close friends. Who needs a wife when all she is capable of is to subject her hard-working husband to such treacherous humiliation? Well done 9ice; you're in good company (Tuface, P. Diddy, Tiger Woods, 50 cent, etc. etc. etc.).

Now those Pixes just made me realise Shaitan also takes in some shekpe too!

Now lets continue today with the Baba Mo's superstitions about his Islamic Shaitan . . .

9.124:  Narrated Abu Qatada:

The Prophet said, "A good dream is from Allah, and a bad dream is from Satan. So whoever has seen (in a dream) something he dislike, then he should spit without saliva, thrice on his left and seek refuge with Allah from Satan, for it will not harm him, and Satan cannot appear in my shape."

Muhammad (S) said, , If you have a dream that you dislike, then it is from Shaitan. You should seek refuge with Allah from its evil, and you SHOULD NOT MENTION IT TO ANYBODY, then it will not harm you." And it someone sees a dream he dislikes he should spit it, and that without saliva?

Yet it was revealed that Muhammad once had a bad dream about been killed in Meccah and out of fear and despair he told it to Khadijat. And when queried by his followers, here is what he said . . .I fear for my death after here. What a bunch of controversy from the prophet Mo' himself. . .the prophets must have expelled some bucket of spits and yet did not see Shaitan run away from taking his life. And at the end, the prophet himself broke his own scripture that says "do not tell a bad dream to anyone, but spit it out thrice and it will not harm you"

Baba Mo' fear! fear! i no fit shout! 

FROM IBN ISHAQ'S "SIRAT RASULALLAH", translated as, "THE LIFE OF MUHAMMAD" by A. Guillaume, page 243.

"I have heard that it was of him that the apostle said, "Whoever wants to see Satan let him take a look at Nabtal b. al-Harith!"  (Nabtal b. al-Harith He was a sturdy black man with long flowing hair, inflamed eyes, and dark ruddy cheeks).  He used to come and talk to the Allah's apostle and listen to him and then carry what he had said to the hypocrites.  It was he who said:  "Muhammad is all a liar:  if anyone tells him anything he believes it."  God sent down concerning him:  "And of them are those who annoy the prophet and say he is all a liar, Say:  Good ears for you.  He believes in God and trusts the believers and is a mercy for those of you who believe; and those who annoy the apostle of God for them there is a painful punishment."  (Sura 9:61)

Muhammad knew many people who were against him, some of them were tough and proven warriors. . .and the only way to repay was to pick out a peculiar looking black man and said that Satan looked like him!   Satan looks like a black man!  

Certainly there were unusual looking Arab men in the area, but Muhammad picked out a black man as the image of Satan. . .and yet the northeners are about the darkest in complexion in this part of the world. . .Baba Mo' must have really hated the Nigerian Moslems if he were to be alive.  permit me to call nopuqeater and his black muslim brothers . . .Shaitan!  i didnt say so! Muhammad did! 

And calling this one a Satan. Now tell me isnt this Prophet a false!?

4.516: Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet said, "If anyone of you rouses from sleep and performs the ablution, he should wash his nose by putting water in it and then blowing it out thrice, because Satan has stayed in the upper part of his nose all the night."

What is shaitan doing in people's nose alnight for god's sake?. . .could he be having a vigil or taking out some time to rest from his previous day job of touching bodies of newly born babies?. . .Reearchers believed Baba Mo was a very hairy man who would not shave his beards and nasal hair and thus occasionally had boils in his nose. . .of all things in the world he felt it was the devil who slept there and as such he penned it into his teachings. . ."Satan sleeps in people nose". OMG , another boggie man's stunt.!

chakula:
Toney-T,

Take a look of this picture i will brief you and your cohorts the stand of the man how long he ruled as a king to his nation and the situation inwhich he find himself later.

nopuqeater:
@JCross19: « #56 on: Today at 06:50:31 AM »Tell me if Jesus didnt study his people and know how god children crazy they were? You forgot he said arent you all children of God? I wonder why he said, rather you said he is the sire of God, when you have not shown me the wife of God? Ni ile yoruba, omo ale la maa npe iru omo beyen. Ni ile yoruba alagbere ni aama npe awon omo beyen. This one you let Tonye-T drag you into is worse than Alooo Apagbee. Aloo Apamoo involves thinking. Aloo Apagbee does not. You just go along like Eediye Raago. Hey Tonye-T, since Aletheia is not here Eediye Raago is similar to Zombie.

Dude. . .like seriously. . .do you speak english?. . .cant even read a single line from your posts. *sighs* 

2.243:  Narrated Abu Huraira

Allah's Apostle said, "Satan puts three knots at the back of the head of any of you if he is asleep. On every knot he reads and exhales the following words, 'The night is long, so stay asleep.' When one wakes up and remembers Allah, one knot is undone; and when one performs ablution, the second knot is undone, and when one prays the third knot is undone and one gets up energetic with a good heart in the morning; otherwise one gets up lazy and with a mischievous heart."

Ibn Sa'd's "Kitab al-Tabaqat al-Kabir" (Book of the Major Classes), vol.2, pages 244 to 248, [4].

"The apostle of Allah fell ill.  He was bewitched about women and food. , There were eleven knots [in the hair from the comb].  The two Surahs no. 113, and 114 were revealed to him.  No sooner did the apostle of Allah recited a verse than a knot loosened.  When all of them were loosened, he regained his urg[/b]e for food and [b]women."

Baba Mo' and his love for shawdies must have been enough to create a mini-quran. . .The Hadith has it that he went into a spiritual power contest with a Jewish warlock and losed and in the process he was bewitched. Now what marvelled me was that . . .it was believed that he continued writing the Quran with his lost mind and much sexing around other married women such that when his wives got jealous and planned a massive attack on the shrine of Allah, Allah ended up supporting his prophet and after the warlock's curse expelled, Babe Mo' went back to his sexing with his 11wives.

Infact he was reverenced as having the power of 30men during his sex marathon with his 11 hajias. . .[he sexed them everyday on per hour billing  for a long month the Sura of the Quran and the Hadiths quoted].

toba:
@Tonye, u don't want us to laugh but u posted a laff matta woo hahahaha hahaha. I mess a big mess that just torned my trouser now now. Ye pa, I'm still laughing

aletheia:
Tonye-t: I take God beg you, abeg remove that picture o, before story get k-leg.

nuclearboy:
@Tonye-T:

Its obvious you're getting back but please, I beg you in the name of Christ - remember that the people you're discussing with can kill innocents who do not know you just because of the picture above.

Innocents die from starvation and hunger everyday

Innocents die from aids and disease everyday

Innocents die from earthquake and natural disasters everyday

Innocents die because someone refuses to tell people the truth

So what news will it be if the Pigless-eaters followers of a paedophile do it?. . .besides, evil doers and their deeds thrive when folks give them undue reverence avoidance. do you know i was born as one? and i know them as frets.  

I respect your plight. . .but its very obvious they go about this section spitting gibberish. . . so me thought i should expose a little about them.

nuclearboy:
Meanwhile, I never knew you had a sense of humor like this

Here is what Aisha (Aisha was the little girl that the prophet got married to at the age of 6 and despoiled her at the age of 9 narated4.510: Narrated 'Aisha:

On the day (of the battle) of Uhud when the pagans were defeated, Satan shouted, "O slaves of Allah! Beware of the forces at your back," and on that the Muslims of the front files fought with the Muslims of the back files (thinking they were pagans). Hudhaifa looked back to see his father "Al-Yaman," (being attacked by the Muslims). He shouted, "O Allah's Slaves! My father! My father!" By Allah, they did not stop till they killed him. Hudhaifa said, "May Allah forgive you." 'Urwa said that Hudhaifa continued to do good (invoking Allah to forgive the killer of his father till he met Allah (i.e. died).

4.506:  Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet said, "When any human being is born. Satan touches him at both sides of the body with his two fingers, except Jesus, the son of Mary, whom Satan tried to touch but failed, for he touched the placenta-cover instead."

4.641:  Narrated Said bin Al-Musaiyab:

Abu Huraira said, "I heard Allah's Apostle saying, 'There is none born among the off-spring of Adam, but Satan touches it. A child therefore, cries loudly at the time of birth because of the touch of Satan, except Mary and her child." Then Abu Huraira recited:  "And I seek refuge with You for her and for her offspring from the outcast Satan" (3.36)

This guy called Shaitan must really love romances. . .imagine him touching all the children being born in the whole Islamic world (certainly not the christians) at the same time. I thought Muhammed said Satan runs 36miles/per day, i wonder how he could end up fulfilling his task of touching newly born per second   . . . let's just say Mrs. Aisha gives birth at 1:30pm in Lagos and he was there to touch, while one Mrs. Usman gives birth at the same 1:30pm at Maiduguri, now tell me how Muhammed's Satan could meet up touching the both at the same time when he only covers a distance of 36miles/per day. what a laughter!

Jenwitemi:
When olaadegbu says, "Lovers of self", the "self" he meant(whether he knows it or not) is the false self, the egoic self within which most of us live in and take as our true identity, thus inflicting untold sufferings on ourselves. Lovers of "self" means, lovers of the false self or the EGOIC SELF, or simply the ego. We should endeavor to differentiate here because misunderstanding is very easy to happen if one does not.

Any human being who loves his/her true self(not the egoic/false self) shall be impecable in all he/she does. But to love your true self, you will have to find it first. And this is my problem from religions like christianity because it keeps man from finding his true self by keeping him/her buried deeply inside the false/egoic self for all his/her life.

4.523: Narrated Jabir bin Abdullah:

Allah's Apostle said, "When night falls (or it is evening), keep your children close to you for the devils spread out at that time. But when an hour of the night elapses, you can let them free. Close the doors and mention the Name of Allah, for Satan does not open a closed door."

4.533: Narrated Jabir bin 'Abdullah:

The Prophet said, "Cover your utensils and tie your water skins, and close your doors and keep your children close to you at night, as the Jinns spread out at such time and snatch things away. When you go to bed, put out your lights, for the mischief-doer may drag away the wick of the candle and burn the dwellers of the house."

So Satan can actually steal physical objects, and even snatch children, but cannot open closed doors? Again, more of the "boogie man" superstition nonsense. Wondering what will Shaitan be doing during the day time . . . that he only comes out in the night hours.

And again, if the Muhammed's satan goes out to drag wick. . .wonder what he will do in the city where we only have electricity sockets and switches

excanny:
What i mean is this. Take for an example this Quranic verse and its Hadith interpretation.

The Quran in Sura 4:24 says:
And forbidden to you are
wedded wives of other people
except those who have fallen in
your hands (as prisoners of
war).

FROM SAHIH MUSLIM,
VOLUME 2, #3432
Abu Said al-Khudri
reported that at the Battle of
Hunain Allah's messenger sent
an army to Autas and
encountered the enemy and
fought with them. Having
overcome them and taken them
captives, the Companions of
Allah's messenger seemed to
refrain from having intercourse
with captive women because of
their husbands being polytheists.
Then Allah, Most High, sent
down regarding that: "And
women already married, except
those whom your right hands
possess (Quran - 4:24), (i.e. they
were lawful for them when their
Idda (menstrual) period came to
an end).

Captured married women as sexual property of their captors with Mohammed's blessing? What a shame!

SAHIH MUSLIM - translated by Abdul Hammid Siddiqi, published by International Islamic Publishing House, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia

It read thus: We Muslims believe that the writtings of the Hadiths on account of Muhammed are analogies and some mere metaphors, for when Ruhullah spake through Allah's apostle, some thoughts were reflections of the prophets lifestyle which his followers where obliged to observe.

Foreign Vocabulary of the Qur'an, by Arthur Jeffery, published by the Oriental Institute of Baroda said Allah's prophet hates the sound of some musical instrument for they were evil sound he called it..

FROM SAHIH MUSLIM, VOLUME 3, #5279:

Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger as saying: A bell is Satan's musical instrument

Hadith scholars believed the guy (Muhammed) simply hated bells and so coined it into his religion. making folks believe Satan has a bell and probably uses it to ring sounds. . .goes to show that muhammed must have been exposed to some hypnotizing classes. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hadith

Hadith (pronounced /ˈhædɪθ/;[1] Arabic: الحديث‎ al-ḥadīth [ħaˈdiːθ]; pl. aḥādīth; lit. "narrative" are narrations concerning the words and deeds of the Islamic prophet Muhammad. Hadith are regarded by traditional Islamic schools of jurisprudence as important tools for understanding the Qur'an and in matters of jurisprudence.[2] Hadith were evaluated and gathered into large collections mostly during the reign of Umar ibn AbdulAziz during the 8th and 9th centuries. These works are referred to in matters of Islamic law and history to this day. The two main denominations of Islam, Shi`ism and Sunnism, have different sets of Hadith collections.

2.245: Narrated 'Abdullah :

A person was mentioned before the Prophet and he was told that he had kept on sleeping till morning and had not got up for the prayer. The Prophet said, "Satan urinated in his ears."

4.492: Narrated 'Abdullah:

It was mentioned before the Prophet that there was a man who slept the night till morning (after sunrise). The Prophet said, "He is a man in whose ears (or ear) Satan had urinated."

How on earth can a urine poured on someone make him sleep late into a new dawn. . .goosh. On the second, i never knew Satan urinates on people. . .my lil cousins will finally see who to blame for the wet spots on their mattresses everymorning LOL!

4.509:  Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet said, "Yawning is from Satan and if anyone of you yawns, he should check his yawning as much as possible, for if anyone of you (during the act of yawning) should say: 'Ha', Satan will laugh at him."

And from the Hadith of Sahih Muslim Book 41, Number 7131: [5]

Narrated Abu Sa'id al-Khudri:

Allah's Apostle said:  When one of you yawns, he should try to restrain it with the help of his hand since it is the Satan that enters therein.

BUKHARI

8.242:  Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet said, "Allah likes sneezing and dislikes yawning, so if someone sneezes and then praises Allah, then it is obligatory on every Muslim who heard him, to say: May Allah be merciful to you (Yar-hamuka-l-lah). But as regards yawning, it is from Satan, so one must try one's best to stop it, if one says 'Ha' when yawning, Satan will laugh at him."

Satan laughs at people who make a sound when they yawn?.  What on earth was that dude thinking when he said Allah likes sneezing and dislikes yawning!
OMG! but me thought Germs are spread via sneezing, while the body gets more oxygen when it yawns.  Yawning is indeed beneficial to the human body, so why would Allah not like it?  And if Satan enters through a yawn, couldn't he enter through a nose at any time? afterall we indirectly yawn with our nose every second 

A sincere Muslim teacher will tell you that superstitions played in Muhammad's mind and he spoke any strange thing that his imagination conjured up.

FROM SAHIH MUSLIM, vol. 3, # 5008:

Ibn Umar narrated Muhammed as saying, "When anyone of you intends to eat (meal), he should eat with his right hand, and when he (intends) to drink he should drink with his right hand, for the Satan eats with his left hand and drinks with his left hand." 

Mind you, this were not mere figuratives but are real practises by Muslims till date

This Hadith illustrates more of Muhammad's superstitions.  I never knew Satan eats and drinks with his left hand?!  Does Satan pitch with his left hand?  Does he write with his left hand?  Is Muhammad saying that lefties are following in the ways of Satan?  Would Muhammad consider the great southpaws of baseball to be emmissaries of Satan?  According to Muhammad, are ambidextrious people cursed, or part evil, part good, or

Muhammad's foolishness has probably caused people who are naturally left handed a great deal of grief.  Imagine having to live in a culture that considers being left handed a taboo or weakness.

FROM THE HADITH OF SAHIH MUSLIM, vol. 1,

1.582: Abu Huraira narratedAbu Huraira was one of the writers of the Quran who gave his own account about Muhammed, just like Matthew, Mark, Luke and John were to the gospels)

Allah's Apostle said, "When the Adhan is pronounced Satan takes to his heels and passes wind (farts) with noise during his flight in order not to hear the Adhan. When the Adhan is completed he comes back and again takes to his heels when the Iqama is pronounced and after its completion he returns again till he whispers into the heart of the person (to divert his attention from his prayer) and makes him remember things which he does not recall to his mind before the prayer and that causes him to forget how much he has prayed."

FROM THE HADITH OF SAHIH MUSLIM, vol. 1, #751:

Abu Sufyan reported it on the authority of Jabir that he had heard the apostle of Allah say: "When Satan hears the call to prayer, he runs away to a distance like that of Rauha". Sulaiman said: "I asked him about Rauha." He replied, "It is at a distance of 36 miles from Medina."

BUKHARI 4.495: (cf. 3.505B and 6.530)

Abu Said Al-Khudri narrated:

The Prophet said, "If while you are praying, somebody intends to pass in front of you, prevent him; and should he insist, prevent him again; and if he insists again, fight with him (i.e. prevent him violently e.g. pushing him violently), because such a person is a devil."

Muhammad bin Sirin narrated:

Abu Huraira said, "Allah's Apostle put me in charge of the Zakat of Ramadan (i.e. Zakat-ul-Fitr). Someone came to me and started scooping some of the foodstuff of (Zakat) with both hands. I caught him and told him that I would take him to Allah's Apostle." Then Abu Huraira told the whole narration and added "The thief i caught said, 'Whenever you go to your bed, recite the Verse of "Al-Kursi" (2.255) for then a guardian from Allah will be guarding you, and Satan will not approach you till dawn.' " On that the Prophet Muhammed said, "He (Shaitan) told you the truth, though he is a liar, and he was the Shaitan."