₦airaland Forum

It's a turtle. Fortunately, you can train it to be a ninja turtle (as others might have suggested). Now this is a dry joke, a very dry one at that.

What?!?!

Lordsonn:
Her family members are attacking me spiritually. They are trying to hurt me and even end my life. For two weeks now, any time i sleep, I always fight with some members of her family in the dream

Be more prayerful and you'll see results. You don't fight the spiritual by being ordinary, fight them back through fasting and prayers.

Agriculture!

While your concerns are appreciated, your husband is to be admired and praised! Thank God you are even being considerate, not those ladies that will turn their husbands to errand boys, anyways, the bedt esy to make him reduce it a bit is by conversationally, sexually, (other forms exist) engaging him once the baby is asleep, grab him and make him stay put with you and do with him whatever pleases you. You're so fortunate you found that type of man. Yesterday one of my friends told me of how his future wife has always got to cook fresh meals, even if she dey work she must leave her workplace to come prepare him fresh meals then she can go back. No storing of food in the fridge/freezer! I sighed in pity for the supposed future wife!

Don't think with your idck bro, how you go feel if you wife go bleep your own brother ehn? Just ask yourself, the matter dey reasonable to you? Set her up and let her sis know or warn her.

Please dont, it's like telling me to stop business and go into prostitution. Sooner or later your hardworking and diligence will pay off. You'll surely find a lady who will support and love you and help you grow. Those ladies don't know good things. Focus bro, focus. Hustle go pay one day.

These are breathtaking.

Na 1240 be this oooo. At least na wetin I dey see.

My dad, my everything, my next love after God, the one who treated me like a princess, the one who ensured I had everything, the one who worked so I could eat, go to school, the one who tried to raise me well, he instilled good morals in me, was never a dead beat dad. My dad over my mum always, every moment with him I enjoyed (well, save for the times I failed in school, some spanking), always made me and my bro happy.
Kept saying he was working for me and my bro, he was my hero, my favourite person in the world, and epitome of excellence, a true and loving father, protective of his own. He was everything good!
Unfortunately, he died when I was 12 and still in primary school, he had been terribly sick and had had to leave Abuja for Ib to be treated, I remember having wanted to go with him but there was no more space in the car so I had to ßtay back, before he got in the car, he looked at me and I saw tears in his eyes, he wept and I said goodbye to him to which he responded in a sad tone. He left and I would sit by the corner of the class when classes are were going on and cry, one day I got a call and was told my dad was dead that's the day my life changed, it never remained the same, like I fell from grace to grass. One day I had a dream (his posthumous birthday), I asked him why he died and how he had died but he only said not to worry, that I'd never understand.
I'm in my mid twenties now and no day goes without me thinking of him. I cried almost everyday till i was about 24, I've stopped now but still do once in a while but I think of my papa everyday!!! I love him even in death, although I would have been in a better place now if he wasn't dead and had almost everything, I must admit that his death has molded and is still molding me into being a better person, it's taught me to be compassionate, hardworking, industrious, patient and the power there is in never giving up. I still remember how he'd tell me that if I didn't work hard and smart I'd end up being broke and married to a wretch (I'm sure he was just scaring me but...). His death has taught me to work, work, work and work, to believe in myself, to save and a lot more.
He was a fine and gentle soul, full of life, kind but his anger was something else, he may be dead but I will ensure I make him proud even in his grave and on my wedding day, I fear the tears I'd shed!
RIP to my dad, it's been 14 years : and I couldn't help but cry while typing this

JasonJidenna:
His recent behaviour can also be attributed to his romantic affairs with Matilda, your chicken. He's just trying to impress her.


My dog finds it so easy to embarrass me before the world, as I said before in one of the thread here, she's now a full-blown lesbian, and I am currently looking for buyers.

Did I just read that your dog is lesbian?
Wondafu!!

kolafolabi:
When will a bag of local rice be reduced to 10k.

I'm equally waiting for that time! A bag of finel, stone free rice here in Benue state is about 17k!!! Egusi about 40k, chain!!!

Ok

What nonsense!!! They're are the reason why the world is a mess rn.

NairalandDoctor:
Hahahhaa all I see are scars from rough behavior, if you live in dioube in porthacourt you know what I mean by Street Logos.

If you no get does scars you never belong na so Dem go dey collect your phone for afternoon and you no talk kpem.

Because you next voice can be please somebody should rush me to the hospital.

Mehd o, this one off me ooo. Lol

Okay now this is funny!

The 'sweeting' kinda sounds like you're friends with Nigerians, anyways, I've seen karma at work.
I was somewhat maltreated by someone very close to me while growing up and I kept dying she'd not have a child till she was 40 and best believe she didn't have a child till she was about 40, most of the words say when someone treats me badly some to pass... I have many more but I'll just not talk about them.

XhosaNostra:
Yeah.

I'd always suspected, with the name though.
You live there?

IronGalaxy:
And this thread is to achieve what exactly?

this your comment funny o

XhosaNostra:
That escalated quickly Bad combination, I say

Lol, ma'am you're South African?

BlueRayDick:
Gambari pa Fulani, Ko l' ejọ ninu

I swear I had to laugh. So funny!

Quite saddening
Northerners have this crazy sexual urge ehn, tufiakwa!!!

Slawormir:
Damnnnnn niggarrr
Isoright

Got no worse experience though. Let me drink my tiger beer while i read comments. No money for Heineken
But let me tell you all
Just be yourself whenever you go for interview.
Don't pretend. Be yourself. What will be will be

Remember those days in Nipp electrical power plant ( ihovbor, Edo state)
I tell the admin face to face during interview that i smoke weed.
Still my name was on the list of people employed

Lol. This nigga!!! Enjoy!

kalvoken:
Op nice work but you are not totally right.

Snake inside toilet System is as a result of broken chamber, pipes or not well covered soak away. If you have a soak away with a good air inlet, no snake can gain access into it not to talk of locating the pipe that leads to your house.

Also some people are fond of not covering their slabs as it was formerly after repair work. This can lead to snakes or other things turning the slab to their home and sometimes paying you a visit inside the house. So after the plumber had done his repairs, make sure he cement the slabs well enough so you won't tell stories that touch the heart.

Also, when running your waste pipe, try and get a thick pipe because rats can easily make hole on a light pipe thereby creating avenue for other creatures to make use of it.

As per the floor drainage filter.that you suggested to be covered with a piece of tiles, if you have done all the aforementioned, I don't think their is need for that. Just avoid removing the filter cover on the drainage system. Many people remove it because they want the waste/bath water to move out faster. It is very dangerous, he that invented it did so for a reason. Remember to always cover your washing hand basins and sink with the rubber cover that comes with the drainage system.

My opinion though.

How you corrected him so politely is really commendable!!!

Collegenews:
Is that Rhino??

Looks like one to me with the horn

Righteousness89:
Let me put it this way,

I am Privileged to be born into a home of Born-again Parents!
I have always Feared , Even when I was a Bad boy..
I was into Bad things big time... but the thing you would never know as I have this Innocent baby looks that make people feel I am innocent..

I committed all sorts of Evils.. Smoked all kind of things, Fornication, Immoralities and all that..

Growing up My Mom said to me that if I wanted To be Happy in life, I have to follow GOD. In her Words " I know how I got pregnant for you, you are different from your siblings "

Truly, I didn't have True Happiness until I made my Decision to Follow JESUS..

Consciously Following JESUS, l saw the Definition of "Stressless living"

I cast all my Issues to Him while HE gives me Peace..

That's my Testimony

bless God for you bro.

Kennyprince:
It can go with corn. Plantain can produce more than 5 stands so dont be scared

Thank you so much, I'll do just that! I was thinking of pepper as well but I'm scared cuz if pests and I don't have money for green house farming

GuestLog:
Yes, on Telegram.
I participated in a hyip Bitcoin bot investment. The rubbish got to withdrawal part and I didn't see money in my account. When I contacted the Admin he told me point and plain that it's all a scam! I nearly run mad.

Thank goodness you didn't run mad.

Righteousness89:
Years ago, I was scammed by one fake guy that claimed to sell data here on Nairaland.....

Sent him money and the guy Blocked me...

It was funny tho!



Another one I Experienced was a kind a Karma..

While in my University days, I had a friend who loved one lady. Back then I was known as Chics Man and It was through me he could meet the girl. I ate my friends in the Name of the lady.

My friend later got to known and other guys laughed at him..

After university, A lady did Exactly the same thing to me..

I wanted to flare up but I remembered wat I did to my Friend back in school..

I knew karma had hit me.. I kuku carry my cross and zombies on..

Today Having JESUS CHRIST has Totally Turned my life Around..

I Look back at those days and I say Thank you LORD for the What I am Today..

How did you come to know God?

So? He hasn't done any good thing for Benue state! The state is so poor and the people there are suffering, corpers aren't treated well, there are no companies, no jobs, river Benue is not tapped at all...

DonFreshmoney:
I am presently at Governors house.. the birthday is gonna be lit. Happy birthday to my amiable Governor.

The best Governor of Benue state ever.

How? He has done nothing good for the state!