₦airaland Forum

ubunja:
if my writeups are not working then it's not your problem to worry about but mine as I'm the one spending the time writing them. Peace.

You’re being combative as usual.

As a grown man, I can tell you that your miseducation will not work on grown Nigerian girls. If there’s no money, they won’t roll with you.

I don’t know if it works for the young men on this forum who are still in University but I can tell you a working class Nigerian woman will not look at you twice even if you apply all the red pill techniques in this world.

Thanks you for your service all the same.

AK481:
Choose one.

Love or enjoyment ?

Omo na enjoyment ooooo. Our women don sign. Who love help?

I think Regina chose what will pay her the best. No young man would have been able to afford all these luxuries for her.

She has chosen her instant gratification & she’s ready to face the consequences.

Goodluck to her.

ubunja:
more Miseducations coming in 2020

Ubunja, while I appreciate your efforts to miseducate guys about women, it might have missed your attention that the problem of Nigeria & its women are peculiar.

The recent upsurge in complaints is rooted in the harsh economy of this country & the unrealistic standards of our women. There’s no amount of red pills that will work as long as our young men are financially incapacitated. There is just no way to talk to or date a Nigerian woman without spending. All the grunting you see on NL romance section stems from the inability of our men to even approach this ladies. We know it would come at great cost & we hate it because there is just no money.

In 2020, men—not young men still in school—should endeavor to get money & quit whining about these women as nothing will change. Their psyche has already been distorted by the flashy lifestyles of our celebrities who make normal Nigerians look lazy. There’s great poverty & tribulation in the land caused by that modern day Pharoah Buhari who’s refused to die (may God forgive me) & leave Nigerians alone.

I support the motion by the OP that men should quit whining & go look for money. There’s no other solution to the problem at hand.

zoedew:
Marriage generally makes a man more stable than he would be if unmarried!

How?

May God give everybody the power to make wealth because this life is not easy without money.

sassysure:
@op got what he want.
Multiple ego massage.

How did I get ego massage. Were the response from the men hostile, it wouldn’t still have made any difference as I won’t change.

This is a faceless forum.

franchasng:
Of course for every human action, there is a reason behind it, so everybody date or marry for a reason, and I will list some of the reasons people date or marry.

REASONS WHY GUYS DATE OR GO INTO A RELATIONSHIP

1.) To have a sex mate - this is number one reason guys date
2.) To study a lady they would love to marry - this is very rare though because reason number 1 is the commonest reason guys date
3.) To have someone that will be helping them do domestic chores like cooking, cleaning, washing, etc - common among lazy financially buoyant guys
4.) To have babymama - common among financially buoyant guys who don't want to be tied down by one lady in the name of marriage


REASONS WHY GIRLS OR LADIES DATE OR GO INTO A RELATIONSHIP

1.) To have a man that will be footing their bills - this is the major reason most girls agree to date a guy

2.) For emotional need - this includes sex, romance, partying, cuddling, someone to showoff to their friends, someone to share their burden with and someone to confide in and get support from emotionally....this is another major reason most girls agree to date a guy, especially girls between the age range of 16 - 24yrs, and you must be very handsome and well built to attract this class of girls or ladies

3.) Marriage hope and expectation - this is the major reason (not only though) ladies above 25yrs go into a relationship with a man, and they always consider number 1 reason above before agreeing

4.) For other selfish needs like academic assistance during exam, career, business, errands, etc - some girls and ladies agree to date a guy just because they need a guy that will be helping them during school exam, assignments, etc...or for career growth, for promotion, to have a guy they can call to come fix their home appliances, do manly chores and sometimes for business reasons.


Now, as a man, you must make sure you have any of the needs above to offer to women in order to attract them or else, you will end up chasing girls around with little or no success.....

So op, don't expect to spend nothing in a relationship, don't expect to give nothing, don't listen to people telling you lies that love don't cost anything, Jennifer Lopez was just deceiving her fans while she went to insure her buttocks for $1million so that broke guys won't come asking her out....but she told her fans that love don't cost anything.....

Human love; romantic love cost something; it could be your money, your beauty, your intelligence, your skill, your talent, your wisdom, your strength or even your spiritual powers/gift....you must come with something to attract women as a man, and same with ladies, they must come with something to get their desired man.....or you think ladies don't offer something too


And in summary, all over the world, women are attracted to successful and popular men, and in our world today, before you can be seen as successful, you must be doing well financially...and before you can be popular too, you must have some financial command....and it is the level of financial wealth you have as a man that determines your level of influence and confidence in today world, and women are attracted to you based on your level of confidence.

The more money you have, the more ladies of all age and class are attracted to you, it is not their fault, it is their nature....it is the same all over the world....in fact, in western countries, physically attractive white ladies believe they are entitled to date only entertainment stars....and if you are a black guy that want to date a young, physically attractive white girl in US or Europe, then you must be an entertainment star, or a successful surgeon....if not, you will only be getting fat, plump, old white ladies

What am I trying to say op If you are a guy and you don't want to be the one chasing ladies around for a date or fling or one night stand or relationship, etc, then you need to improve your influence and confidence, and how do you do that Work on your financial life, and watch ladies become naturally attracted to you....and who said digging gold is not allowed? Let the ladies come and dig your gold of course.....it is allowed so long as you get what you want from them in return and so long as you apply your manly wisdom and not go about falling foolishly in love.




Cc: kunleweb, pansophist,

Thank you & may your fountain of wisdom not dry up.

dukeprince50:
I think children should stop opening thread

I absolutely agree.

Tembebe:
Though I'm not Yoruba nor am I igbo, I always feel disgusted any time they show such acute inferiority complex.
There is no end to their shameless ass licking as if Chioma herself gives a damn about them.
Mind you, imade's mother Sophia is not even Yoruba,she is Edo.I guess the stupid tribalists didn't get the memo.

I have observed it too & I just shake my mind.

SUPOL:
Chai this people get mind oo, sombori dey say e dey smell, u invite come house nawaaoo

Stop this as it is not fair at all.

I put it to you that you don’t have the confidence to be in her presence. You can only say this behind the keypad of your phone to make you feel better about how your life has turned out.

You hate what cannot become.

Be better as we enter 2020.

crackhaus:
Lol, Buka Buka..

As you don involve God for the matter, you must also know that the spirit of God is not partial. If God was indeed involved and spiritually led a man to choose a soulmate, then there would absolutely be no need for him to chase that lady in futility, or 'extra' as you put it.
Do you know why? Because God would have also ministered to the woman and made it known to her beforehand that the man is indeed her man, and she will as a matter of fact be 'easy' (for lack of a better word) to succumb.

The chase, extra chase, excessive chase is NOT the will of God, Allah, or Sango, or of a man, or even of Satan.
It is only in a woman's interest to be chased, begged, cajoled, and wooed excessively - It certainly provides some sense of worth and importance I imagine.

Spot on.

fieryy:
Some like me called you put because we think you have a low self esteem, some did because you generalized (which is still what you are doing).

I already stated in the very beginning that I do get irritated very easily. My no is a no.
If I'm not interested in you, it's not because I want you to chase me. It's simply because I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOU.

Stop trying to guilt trip women in accepting all advances.

You’re assuming formlessness & slippery like an octopus or chameleon right? I never demanded that females accept all proposals!!!!

Why should I say that?

I think you have done your best on this thread. You should take a bow now. You’ve been noticed.

fieryy:
Perhaps I am over analysing things, perhaps I'm also not. I already stated why I had come to my conclusions.

"Once I sense a whiff of indifference or disinterest by a woman, I flee to protect my ego"




"I firmly believe that a man’s value is inextricably tied to his economic worth"

"This has discouraged me from initiating a chase as I think it won’t be worth it in the end as it will all end up with the money issue."

That in my opinion is not of someone who has a healthy self esteem and or is truly unbothered.

[i][/i] if you ask someone out, you should accept rejections as well as being accepted.[b][/b] Everyone has their reason, some more reasonable than others. Someone with a healthy self esteem wouldn't be bothered. Everyone is free to have their preferences.

The bolded is the reason why you females are angry, correct?

How does it differ from my assertion that you just want to have the satisfaction to see men chase you & suffer?

Just like you feel it’s men’s obligation to face it, some of us feel we can boycott that problem by being getting sufficiently ready before facing it.

There was no need for the war of words we have had on the thread. I attribute the problem to the usual suspects who are resident trouble on this section.

kunleweb:
I love your mental/psychological stability. It's something that's very very admirable...

Ogami, I have seen it all & I know how they operate.

What I can’t fathom is why they are so irked by this thread. I never bashed women. I just told men to be prepared before embarking on the chase. It is well.

kunleweb:
I agree with your line of reasoning, but you're overly reading meanings that weren't conveyed. Never in any part of his posts did I see all these.


Rejection is normal. Trust me we men know. Until full financial stability is attained, a man is doomed to continous rejection. I only wondered how women like Mrs. Ameachi got married to a broke ordinary English graduate at this time, or Mrs Thorpido from here or Goodluck, who later became president. I wonder what those women saw to choose to settle for broker dudes

Allow her to continue her false reconstruction of my posts. I know what she’s doing but it doesn’t work. She feels this is romance section where you can shut guys up by calling them broke or undesirable.

fieryy:
Did you even read my post? I never claimed his reason of loneliness is due to him not having a partner, but him having a low self esteem.

He cares too much about what others think of him. His reasons of not asking girls out is not because he does not feel like or see it as sth. necessary, but because of them rejecting his advances.

His reason for wanting to earn a lot of money is also based on him feeling unworthy of being loved if otherwise.
You don't claim to be unbothered, if you care that much about what others think about you.

A woman has not rejected my overtures in almost 15 years.

I don’t even know why I am responding to your half truths. It’s eveident that you’ve embarked on a futile destruction of what you deem my confidence. Good luck on your new project.

kunleweb:
Be careful fierry isn't ordinary. She's one of the few females ill be wary of, if I were you. She's damn fiery

Like I care. Who be fiery? I don’t know her.

Mindfulness is their oga & she’s the one I know.

Besides, this is no war. We are all having a healthy conversation. It’s the deplorable feminazis who want to weaponize this thread to lob their hateful ideas.

We must not descend into the gutter with them. When they go low, we go high.

Mindfulness:
Go and make money to cure your loneliness.

The usual retort. Try to be ingenious in your responses.

kunleweb:
Thesedays everyone comes up with terminologies and that it springs up on Google almost makes it a fact if not challenged. How loneliness equates low self esteem defeats me. As even God saw single men at a phase of being lonely even without a woman and chose to create/bring in a woman. If a man can be lonely before the creation/entrance of a woman, then loneliness has little to nothing to do with female companionionship/confidence but a feeling of numbness brought about by inactivity or inability to fill a void.


So a man can be lonely with or without a woman, and thus isn't I confident because he's lonely. Let's not get it twisted here.


Cc Pansophist Franchasng crackhaus

Don’t mind her. She’s just projecting & trying to chip away at my confidence. What a futile effort.

Biglittlelois:
Deflection and small mindedness, that's what you're showing here, your comment is your comments, there is no freshness and new perspective or interpretation of you saying "menopause causes bitterness and is self inflicted, people like you portray yourself to the world as reasonable, tolerating and unbias, but within yourself, you are struggling with keeping your crass, hate-filled, female bashing venom in check, some days you try and succeed, other days, you lash out when you cant help yourself, today is one of those days,

A man that cannot see faults in his negative comment, who is trying to justify his use of a natural phase to belittle females, just to be seen or perceived as woke, while getting an online pat on the back from his ilks here, is not to be taken seriously or regarded as worthy in any ramification.

I call out people, whether male or female, I call them out when there is a negative generalisation or untrue words of any gender, this is a forum where people learn, not a gender competition or degradation just to appease whoever, enough said.

You would do well to pass this same message to mindfulness & the other feminazis on this thread.

Thank you.

Tembebe:
You catch am
Nor mind am.

They always want to attach every good thing to Chioma because in their warped thinking, it would make it evident that Davido should marry her while they continue hating Yorubas & putting down Imade & mother.

fieryy:
And where in my post did I say a woman is a cure for his loneliness? I'm simply calling him out for what also you think he is : "confident".

OP is everything, but confident. I already talked about this earlier. Loneliness is sometimes attributed to a low-self esteem, which I believe it is in Op's case.

You want to browbeat me emotionally & make me feel sad for creating this thread but you’ve failed.

You cannot get under my skin.

I am enjoying the thread.

Mindfulness:
Now you are playing the victim part? How sweet.



Didn't know I was having more influence on Nigeria than Aisha Buhari.

Enjoy....are you married?

I want to know because it will determine what motivates you in your quest (whatever it is on NL).

crackhaus:
Take note uninspired07, having a woman by your side is NOT the cure for loneliness.
Don't let that feeble attempt at striking your confidence take hold.


Read the experience of fykes below again:


The best solution is always to seek ways to deal with the loneliness you feel and after you succeed, then you can get a woman.

The reasons for this include but are not limited to:
1. You will be more attuned to selecting a woman with near-perfect accuracy...ergo, you will not be motivated by the need to fill a vacuum.
2. You will not need her as an emotional anchor during the course of the relationship because you are very stable in your own emotions.
3. You will not tolerate her bad behaviour for fear of losing her.
4. If she does end up breaking up with you, you will not return to that feeling of emptiness and loneliness.

Thank you. I am taking note.

pansophist:
At the bolded, it is not entirely true, especially in relation to Nigerian women (caveat observed). I hope to see the day that the average man will be attracted to just for being a man with inherent qualities such as depth of convictions and strength of character, but at best, it remains an idealistic pipe dream as opposed to a liveable reality. As someone that has been on the opposite side of both spectrum, my inherent qualities was only noticed when it was allied with an idea that I am well-off, not just a stand-alone.

Inherent qualities in a man, that is not simultaneously allied with financial capability is usually not respected. I think Basketmouth made a joke one time, that a rich man can wear an okrika shirt and girls will gush over him, labeling him with cool names like being down to earth, simple and other spicy words, but such privileges are not afforded to the average joe that dresses in the same sense.

Also, I was reading pew research about what women find attractive and consider important in men, and it was his career/profession, things that link to his financial stronghold. If you peruse the link below, you would see that for women, a mans financial capability is the second most important, even before qualitative traits such as intelligence, physical attractiveness, family-oriented, etc, and most importantly, the statistics were done on the richest country in the planet, the USA. Now imagine if it would be done in a poverty-stricken country like Nigeria, the answer is better imagined.

https://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2017/12/05/americans-see-different-expectations-for-men-and-women/

From my lived experienced, my success with women has largely increased after becoming financially well-off, that is an incontestable fact, even though I consider myself to be good-looking and with inherent qualities you mentioned as far back when I was a teenager. A man's value will always be connected to his financial standings if not, then money will not be one of the major reasons for divorce, and ugly old men marrying young wives (not mentioning any names here ). Truly, there are women out there that will love a man for who he is (as opposed to ''what'' he is), but the numbers are infinitesimally small to be found in statistics, especially in Nigeria. Money gives a man confidence, as romance is sweeter with finance, especially in this materialistic world we inherited.

kunleweb, franchasng, healthserve, uninspired07

OMG, you’ve once again wowed me with your no holds barred write up. Expecting the usual contribution laced with tact, grace & intellectual efficiency.

Welcome.

fieryy:
You don't have to convince me with your lies. Try convincing yourself first. Someone truly unbothered would not create two threads and complain about this.

My intellectual objectives have been achieved as I have engendered discussion on this very important issue many men face in contemporary Nigeria.

My whole point & the object of this thread have been mischaracterized & violently misrepresented by pseudo feminists whose stock in trade is to stoke tension between men & women on Nigerian cyberspace. This is not only sad but it is disgraceful.

Mindfulness, you’d recall I told you that I know you from this section? This is because I come here a lot & so do millions. You might be having fun here creating enmity between men & women but you have a wide reach & a platform to lob your intellectual missiles. But remember that the damage you are wrecking on relationships in this country will come back to bite your ass very soon. Karma never sleeps.

I am enjoying the thread & I urge others to pick useful points from this thread.

fieryy:
I guess you can only help those who want to be helped. Op might be here feeling himself now, happy that people are agreeing with him etc, but this is only temporary. He's still going to wake up feeling lonely tomorrow.

While it gets to me occasionally, I am already used to it & I won’t die if I don’t get into a relationship urgently.

I have the time to create this because of the holidays. I am perfectly fine without a relationship ooo. It’s not do or die.

Biglittlelois:
As much as some of the comments here make a lot of sense and I actually advice you to use them going forward, I do not understand how and why you did not see the demeaning comments on women, made by you and others, I do not understand.

I saw some of them. It didn’t come from a place of hate, just the usual bants.

I apologize if it got to the women here.

Like I said earlier, nothing can be gained from hating or bashing women as it won’t anything.

fieryy:
I asked a question earlier, which you are still yet to reply. Who is asking you to dishonor yourself?

I won’t answer this as you know what I mean by dishonor. Go through the gamut of my posts on this thread & you will see it all over.

crackhaus:
You're welcome.

Ans as for the usual suspects, it's deflection tactics as always, it mustn't bother you.
Just be sleak with your responses, and don't latch on or you will keep explaining yourself.

Thanks jaree.

Mindfulness:
It's called cognitive dissonance. OP suffers a lot. I would have helped him because I am a very sympathetic person but he chose to go into attack mode and now he will learn the hard way.

Lol. Help me? How can you help me?

I came for advice & I am getting a lot of that.