Klass99:


Whether abstinence and celibacy are different, in my mind it still boils down to the same thing.

Paul said marry if you cannot control yourself, marry to avoid burning in fornication, so any how you want to analyze the matter. Ar iza, is not off point either.

Ariza:
Lol... Are you saying only those in MINISTRY should practice Celibacy? Why does God warn against fornication then?

Now going by your analogy do you know that every child of God has a Ministry? Which are different according to God's purpose. Do you limit ministry to the likes of Adeboye and Pope Francis? Lol... Every Christian has a gift, power and grace bestowed on them by the Holy ghost according to the Ministry they are being prepared for. Now every Christian will be like Paul (A great Revivalist and Evangelist) some are called into other Ministeries Like Deliverance Ministry, Intercessory Ministry, Giving Ministry, Song Ministry etc. Not everyone will be an Apostle Like Paul so not every Christian needs to be celibate for LIFE. However there is General Law for all. Flee Fornication, if you can't hold it, Go and Marry.

Klass99:


No issues, I totally get you.

In my experience though, people are not genuinely interested in understanding. They are more interested in debating the point, projecting their own beliefs on me and disrespecting my beliefs/choice by telling me there's something wrong with me and their own thinking is far more superior.

But hey, we are cool. I didn't take offence at any of your comments. I just felt weary/wary but I enjoyed the civil engagement with you. By the way, I like the differences between the male and female anatomy too much, to take a vow of celibacy for life

Ariza:

7) For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man has his proper gift of God, one after his manner, and another after that

Ariza:
Well Apostle Paul said if one can be celibate and remain unmarried in kingdom race,he or she can go for it but if you can't remain celibate, please Marry.

So Marriage or having kids isn't really a do or die thing but the most important is don't Sin. So Klass99 I'm echoing that to you Sis. If you don't want it, don't DO it.

Klass99:

Lol hmm, where do I begin?

Abstinence/celibacy is about self care for me (i.e. practicing habits that sustain my health and well being) it is also about having an effective relationship with my creator. Pre-marital sex was eroding an effective relationship with God and my feelings of guilt were often enormous, afterwards.

I am not abstaining to avoid marriage but I am most certainly abstaining to avoid an unwanted pregnancy I have had devious men who thought if they could only get me pregnant, it would change my mind about kids and their marriage proposal to me (I'm not kidding) but this is a story for another time.

Sex is not a physical thing for women (save for prostitutes) Before a woman lies with you, she's really into you. Now, when the feeling is not mutual it becomes a demoralizing event, it either breaks the heart or bruises it. Celibacy, saves me from the mental and emotional havoc wrecked on my overall well being, when the feeling is not mutual.

Having a sexual partner just for the sake of scratching that itch is still a demoralizing concept for me. Also, indulging too soon in a relationship, prevents you from ascertaining the full measure of a man and getting a firm grip on what he is really like, as a person.

Klass99:


After reading through this post, I just smiled and thought there's no point trying to explain myself or reasons. Because you have acted like judge, jury and executioner over my choice already and you are convinced na gragra dey worry me or I have deep seated issues (which by the way I don't have)

But let's get something abundantly clear, I have no animosity towards marriage or kids. That, I don't want kids for myself, doesn't mean I don't want other women or people to have them as well - hell no.

What I am against and I have animosity for, is the shallow/vain thought processes and actions, people have about these two things. For example, on thought processes;
1. If I don't marry I can't be or won't be happy in life ever.
2. If I don't have a child, I will be miserable, I will shrink and die away.
3. Without marriage and kids, there's nothing more to me or my life can't be meaningful
4. People will mock me and say I am not a man or a woman, because I couldn't bear children naturally - I had to adopt.
5. God forbid that I adopt, when I can have my own children biologically - meanwhile decades go by and you still can't have children biologically.

Examples, of actions;
1. Inserting egg like things in the vjay, because a charlatan claiming to be a man of god, told you it will ensure pregnancy.
2. Moving from one spiritual house to another, doing inappropriate or vile things to yourself, because you were once again told, pregnancy is certain if you do these things.
3. Visiting the babalawo with pictures or personal items of a man/woman, you want to marry by hook or by crook.
4. Aggressively, seeking a baby mama outside your marriage while pastoring a church and asking that a woman you are commiting adultery with, should first get pregnant for you.
5. Endless vigils at spiritual places with a bad rep, to a point where you begin to neglect other aspects of your life or meeting up another charlatan who gave you a vigil appointment in a guest house.

The feverish frenzy, jazz and very razz things people do, all in a bid to either marry or have children is what I am against NOT marriage/children itself, or the people who want these things for themselves.

The belief in our minds will bring about results. A belief is simply a thought of your mind or the thought in your mind. So, if a person thinks that without marriage/kids their life will be a miserable and unhappy one, the results will manifest in their life accordingly. If I think that, without marriage/kids, my life can and will still be a full, productive and happy one (through my relationships and life experiences) the results will manifest in my life accordingly - which in all sincerity is what I am experiencing/enjoying.

I like marriage and I want it, so I can fucck without the feelings of guilt and also for the friendship/companionship with another person . As well as, bearing each others burdens financially, emotionally and otherwise. I make no bones about this - however you will not catch me engaging in any of the negative thought processes or actions I have enumerated above. It's not me or my style at all. As for the decision to not have kids (not even one) till thy Kingdom comes, it is not happening and it has nothing to do with rebellion either.

DrFunmisticGlow:
No we are not mandated, remove that bias from your mind.

What we ought to do is to counsel, make sure the person is certified fit to make the decision. Tell the patient to weigh the pros and cons and ask the patient to think about it.

But what a lot of doctors end up doing is to start prohecting their beliefs

DrFunmisticGlow:

i understand no 3 very well.

Many doctors cannot wrap the fact that a woman wants to remove her apparatus.

It is well. Just get a good contraception. It's all good.

DrFunmisticGlow:
please stop preaching, she doesn't want na. Pls lets respect our wishes

binghamm:
Me.
Don't care for children. May or may not want. Very late 20's. Open to cohabitation. A little religious.
Open to both cohabitation and marriage.

ahiboilandgas:
chai....Good bye write a will

Jihom29:
Note that this is the same tinder that many guys around the world complain that they can't get dates, let alone get a girl to fuçk them.

If you think looks don't matter, then you are on a long thing.

LordKO:


Boys and small-minded men chase women; men/aristocratic men command women's attention and followership, not as subordinates though, and choose among them.

OLAADEGBU:


He is a Democrat, that's what's odd about him.

bukatyne:

If the in-laws see him as their son, they would not burden him with unnecessary demands as he is trying to build a young family.

They will be grateful with the gifts he sends periodically.

Chorismate:
Hello Everyone

I am about proposing to my Fiancee but one thing came to my mind.

As a single adult, I have formed a habit of sending my parent specific allowance every month (N50k). Is it ok to continue that when married?
I am asking because my wife may say since I am doing that for my parent, why won't we do for hers.

BTW, she is working.

What's your thoughts please

Sixfeetbelle:


It is my thought.

I've never had a cool-aid though

Sixfeetbelle:

Then I think this your question explains everything. It shows Ops advice is for men who knew they didn't treat their wives right and were absent in their children's life, never to men who understood family values.

YourCoffin:

Exactly. Humans that are historically fickle-minded are the ones you should treat nicely so you will benefit from them in old age? Story!

Treat your wife well but make sure you sort yourself first.

Mariangeles:

Do you think it'll be fair on his part asking his sister to wash his undies?
Do you think there's nothing wrong with it?
Do you not think that the poster is just damn lazy and dirty?