This man is making it so hard for me to continue admiring him.

binarymachine:
A lot of people are afraid to live their lives to the fullest, do something out of the ordinary, have fun and do something crazy. They have set rules and imaginary boundaries for themselves and they follow these principles always and through out thier lifes, living a definite patterned life.

There is nothing wrong with living a principled and planned out straight life. Probably that may be your personality or just the way you were brought up from childhood. It is not wrong to have home training and feel the need to contain your life to it. However if you follow your definite patter all through, what memory would you have of your youth at your old age?

Being organised and living a life of such is good albeit too much of everything is also bad! Yes, too much of good is bad sometimes. A little bad is needed to create the fun sometimes and add a little of colour to things. Once in a while, do something crazy, create memories you would cherish later, in the end, that is the only thing we truly own in this world and that is the only thing that follows us to the grave, every other thing stays behind.

Go wild, try that bad move out, do something stupid every once in a while. Go on adventures, pump some adrenaline into your heart, spend that money till you are satisfied. Create time for yourself and use it like your are a toddler, grabbing anything and everything. Create problems and solve them, move out of your regular pattern, that girl that feels out of reach or out of your league, walk up to her and ask her out, be sure to remember her response, it will make you laugh someday.

We only get one chance to live and that chance is a short one if you ask me. Do not deny your life a chance to have fun, do something stupid and create funny memories. Then you grow old, see younger ones doing so, you feel angry, left out and used up. Only make sure you stay out of real trouble while having your fun. Don’t just pass through life, let life also pass through you. Your old self will thank your young self for it.

Choice of words matter.

You made a solid point, but using the word stupid will only make people assume a defensive posture by relating stupidity with idiocy or sycophancy.

I understand where you're coming from though, better words to use are spontaneous, uninhibited, spur-of-the-moment, etc

I love this.

Social media has really muddied the waters of true friendships.

PrimadonnaO:


Haba. But you don't have to have sex first to know if a man has a dick or that it gets erect. So many other ways to know!

You guys with "touch it, it's hard!"

I need to read you deny you have never fallen for that and touched it

Sixfeetbelle:


Why argue then with someone you don't know?

I should ask you this, because I don't do it

Sixfeetbelle:


Never.

I love proving my point to doubting thomases

You need not prove any point to someone you don't know

Sixfeetbelle:
After asking me if I'm married to ascertain how I could know what married couples do when 'unplanned' pregnancy occurs, can you take a look at this and confirm by yourself?

Please, ignore the no symptoms part as it does not apply to every case.

Cc unnerve

Lol, move on please

Graxie:
Are contraceptive good for married women?

Lol

Omoluabi16:
To what extent can society hold a man responsible for a unwanted pregnancy-love child? Aside child support.

The man's responsibility for his child always ends at child support, this is even in Nordic countries where they have the overall best family support systems in place.

Bless the heart of that woman who got pregnant for a man who simply can't be bothered enough to be present in his child's life, she will finally understand how children are not raised solely on child support checks.

The time, the physical resources, the mental exertion, they all remain hers alone.

Hathor5:


I am still not unnerved.

Have a drink, eat some veggies, perhaps have some orgasmic sex, then sleep in cool temperature. Immediately you wake up, do nothing else but read only your comments on the thread.

Hathor5:

I have said SEVERAL times on this thread that I acknowledge the fact that women "suffer greater consequences".

I even stated that women must take responsibility to protect themselves.

Greater consequences does not translate to no consequences for the other party involved though and does not mean that boys should not have any responsibility at all.

Why is something so simple so difficult to comprehend?

It's aii, we cool

bukatyne:


This lady

If we are going moral and righteous, it is no sex before marriage which negates this thread.

You simply want to eat your cake and have it.

In the days of old, women were seen as unequal to men and perceived to be liable to deceit. As a result, they were protected by gunshot weddings.

No man got a virgin or decent girl pregnant and could deny it. All it takes is for a crying pregnant girl to finger you as the father of her unborn child and gbam! it is marriage (to save face for the girl and family and hold the guy responsible for enticing a girl). In this system, women did not enjoy the autonomy over their bodies they do today and it was seen as a crime for a woman to abort a baby without the father's consent.

Sexual liberation came and men are the same as women, women are wise enough not to be deceived, women can decide the number of partners they have, there is no shame in baby mamaism, abortion is pro-choice, it is our body to do as we want etc. And yet, you still want to enjoy the protection of old where women were seen as victims because they were not equal footing and consequently treated as such?

It doesn't work that way.

You wear the big girl pants now, take responsibility for pregnancy and STDs, let the guy take responsibility for STDs.

Come to think of it, a guy can not force you to keep a pregnancy you don't want so why do you want to force him to father a child he doesn't want?

Where is the equality in that?

Lol, there's something about you.

Hathor5:


But it's a Nigerian thing to justify it with 'she will suffer greater consequences' and get scot free.
Explains to some extent why this part of the world has highest rate of infections.

Oh dear, see I perfectly understand how the use of certain words and phrases like 'she will suffer greater consequences' can rub people the wrong way. Believe me, I do.

But it doesn't negate the truth.
We could all decide to be politically correct and just say 'both father and mother have equal consequences' but this would be a lie. Even in societies where child support is mandatory, the woman is still the one with the greatest consequence after getting pregnant. Her life is slowed down during her pregnancy, her body changes, her work was affected, etc.

After birthing, she's the one looking after the child. She's the one taking him to school, doing his homework, taking him to the doctor's appointment, she can't even hang out with her girls as often as she would want, she can't party as much, her work life is altered because she's a single mother.
Now guess what? Baby daddy whose only job is to send in checks is busy partying with his boys, probably still meeting and having sex with other women and living the life of a single man. Sending child support did not altered his lifestyle in any way so while you may assume he did not go scot free, the realistic fact is that he actually has because no law on earth can force him to be present in that child's life.

And this basically sums up the idea behind the thread.

I have typed too much

pmoye:
You would be surprised how many married men and women procure abortions every year in the country. That some men and women are married doesn't automatically mean they have special access to good sense with respect to unplanned pregnancies. And it is always the same story of the man not wanting to use condom while at the same time not discussing contraceptive options with the wife.

For those that are interested in blaming men, yes such men though married are irresponsible and I offer no apologies for saying that.

What amazes me every single time is meeting individuals engaging in unprotected sex and claiming the ensuing pregnancy to be an accident, a mistake. For those interested in interpreting the initial post beyond the intention to draw out a debate that emphasizes the fact that the woman is 100% the owner of her body and should determine whether and when she gets pregnant, I have no need to sate your desire to turn this into a men-vs-women thing. You can continue, which is the beauty of this forum.

Yes, married men and women are highly involved in unwanted pregnancies and both the pregnancies and/or the abortion directly affects the woman more than the man. It is simple biology.

Notice that it says maternal morbidity and mortality. Not paternal. Neither does it talk about who is to blame. The morbidity burden and the mortality burden of unplanned pregnancies are qualified with a gender-specific adjective maternal. I am not sure that the right approach to discuss this matter is by inviting men to share the blame (yes, they have a large portion of that already), but by recognizing that the woman suffers those two burdens exclusively and to recognize that they should own their bodies 100%. Even in marriage.

Thanks for this. Bold text especially.

cococandy:

No it’s not at least to my knowledge.

But Generally, a married woman who has an abortion by whatever route she’s able to get it often feels like less of a bad person than a single woman who did it. The fact that hospitals will do abortions for married ladies but not the single ones speaks volumes.

Yes some hospitals do this.

This is good to know, I honestly didn't.

Hathor5:


I am not going to discuss the sex lives of my family members here, not that I know enough about it anyway.
And whether men of other races are quick to sleep with women without protection or not is irrelevant because it is not a common attitude to justify it with 'she is the only one to suffer the consequences'.

Like you said, their laws will have them take responsibility one way or another and their collective mentality is such that their absence in the child's life will be strongly condemned. Rightly so. It's the peak of immorality not to look after your own.

Now to those preachers and moralists on this forum who always repeat how important it is for a child to have a mother and a father, they should be the first to teach everyone to take responsibility.

Well my first quote to you was simply to let you know that when it comes to men having sex indiscriminately without thinking of consequences, it's not a Nigerian thing.

I also never expected you to discuss the sex lives of your family members here, I only stated that to get a better understanding of what I meant, you could ask. The information you get from asking would have been yours alone.
Perhaps you should try not getting so unnerved (pun intended) at anyone who isn't in complete agreement with you.

cococandy:


Married women also have high rates of abortions. Maybe not as high as single women but high enough it would surprise you.

The difference if they feel sanctioned while doing it.
At least they weren’t caught having sex the while unmarried

I'm not following you.

Is abortion legal for married women but illegal for unmarried women in Nigeria?

coputa:
Semen is the power and strenght of a man,it need to be conserve sometimes, this is why you see some women getting plumpy while their hubby get skinny,that's the secret.

Is there medical science to back it up? This is all I intend to know

Hathor5:

I don't know about most men, do you?

You could confirm starting with your husband or boyfriend, then brothers and cousins. Close friends whom you can have that type of conversation with as well.

Depending on where you live, mix it up by including men from other races

Sixfeetbelle:

They don't have regular sex and in the case they do get pregnant, they either keep it or abort it.

Safe sex isn't 100% effective and pregnancy must always result for the unlucky ones. Responsibility for such actions must be taught on the parties involved.

My apologies then, I thought I was asking a married woman.

Hathor5:

It's simple math. Teaching 100% of the population responsibility will lead to better results than teaching 50%. Not everyone will be responsible but more people will. I also find this argument 'as long as I don't suffer the consequences, wetin concern me?' very troubling. It sums up all that is wrong with this country.

Instead of raising responsible boys and future gentlemen who take responsibility for themselves and their partners, they will argue that it is ok to be a fvckboy as long as someone else suffers greater consequences.

It is also the same reasoning that justifies infidelity on the husband's side. He doesn't suffer greater consequences so it's ok.

Morally bankrupt people.

But is it perculiar with Nigeria? It's quite the same mentality with men in most places. If a woman does not insist on protection, most men regardless of race are okay with having regular unprotected sex.

The difference in societies only comes to play when laws are enforced which force men to be financially responsible for their children. This still did not stop the number of baby mums from increasing each year.

Sixfeetbelle:


Unless abstinence is insisted, pregnancy cannot be totally avoided even with contraceptive pills and condoms in tow. In that scenario, would you blame the woman still?

Hmmm, how do married people avoid unwanted pregnancies while having regular sex?

Everything in moderation, this still does not mean that everytime a man ejaculates, his life shortens.

Is there medical science to back this up?

Lol, looking at those photos with the descriptions and labels attached gave me joy.

Honestly, I don't believe that the cop who shot Rayshard will be charged.

There are extenuating circumstances which his defense can use to justify the shooting, top of which is that the man was attempting to flee after disarming a police officer of his taser. Even attempted to shoot the taser at a police officer.

Awoist:

Baba this is pure racism, have you seen the cops body cam?
My poorly trained Naija police wouldn't have acted that way. You have his car and document, so wadup?

I don't mean to seem insensitive, but he shouldn't have run, shouldn't have disarmed an officer of his taser, and to top it off, he shouldn't have tried to shoot an officer with a taser.

As much as we all want to see racism, this is simply not a George Floyd incident.

angelEmade:

Yeah...and there is a whole long story about it too

Lol, no need for the long story, I'm quite okay with the short story where your dad had you when he was 72.

He's a legend

This feels like a story created from the mind of someone with group sexual fantasies
But if it's to be believed, then I don't see any criminal case to be reported here.

The girl accepted the condition because the guy did promise to still marry her after the deed.

That is what we call consent.


As for sending him on compulsory leave, I don't think any company laws were broken. They were doing it at the staff private quarters right?

But wait a minute, why is there CCTV installed in staff private residence

Please respect traditions, that's all I can contribute here. I find it extremely sad when some Africans spit on their core traditions just to appear more civilized.
If only they knew how much a good number of the westerners they desire to act like admire the sophistication of some of our cultural practices.