danielistics:
One of the reasons feminism is dead on arrival.

It was not made for African women, more specifically Nigerian women. These women enjoy being subdued, and there's no better way to subdue a Nigerian woman than keeping her financially dependent on you to a large extent.

If you try doing this with a woman of western birth and orientation, you'll be wasting your time.

The poverty level in Nigeria may be partly to blame for this.

Ybaby:


Have you been to the UK?

I'm resident here, but born and bred naija

fieryy:


Her ignorance is alarming, lmao. It's not even funny, smh. People really think like that?

Do you live in the US?

nahzyla:


I wrote in the same post that my purpose of bringing this topic up is because I want women to be appreciated for doing their primary duties of being home keepers. If you follow either Islam or Christianity then yes, husband or wife have primary roles assigned to them by God
And one of husbands primary roles is to provide.

If you are neither a Muslim or Christian then this thread isn't for you.

When was the last time you read a Bible?

Lalasticlala should put this on the front page, so more people can locate this guy and arrest him

Statutory rape

Educating entrepreneurs? Tech entrepreneurs?

sassysure:
Who said that the traditional role of a wife is to stay at home?
Who told you guys this?
Hian

My mum was a trader, so also her mum and great grandmum.

In the olden days when a man are rated with the number of barns and livestock he has, his wives and children go to farm with him. After farm work, the wives retire to cook while the man will climb palm tree to tap palm wine they will use to wash the food down.
Gosh!
All the women in various markets, offices are ghosts.
All these frustrated souls everywhere. I will bite somebody.

The traditional role of a wife is not to contribute financially to the upkeep of the house. Say this in a place like uk and people will wonder which jungle they came out of.

nahzyla:

We are not writing long articles to defend leeching
We just want to be appreciated for being primarily responsible for the children's upbringing and keeping the home in order, giving up ambitions and personal freedom and always sacrificing their convenience, sometimes even putting up with oppressive and unjust treatment just to keep the family together
The reason many men do not appreciate the roles women play at home is because they have no respect for women and always undermine them
If the tables were turned and women were told to simply provide and lead while men took over the house and kids that is when you will see multitudes of men appreciating the role of housekeeping
The reality on ground is that many women are going providers in their families, you will hardly see a family where the wife is just idle and waiting completely for husband to bring every thing but many nairaland men seem to be living in some parallel universe where all the wives stay at home all day nothing.

If you already knew this, what then is the purpose of your topic?
You don't like it when married women are providers, you prefer it when she does not contribute to the financial upkeep of the family.

For me, a woman should be actively engaged in one career, job, trade etc or the other but not for the sole purpose of contributing to family upkeep. That is the primary role of the man. If as a man, you have a woman that supports financially, it is just an extra feature for you and it remains only an asset to you as long as it does not disturb the primary role of the woman. If it does, your working class wife is fast becoming a liability.

In summary, your essay is to encourage leeching dear.
In year 2020 AD, you should not talking of primary roles. It's cave mentality

eyinjuege:


Don't be retarded
Perhaps if you weren't blinded by your sentiments and opened your eyes to look, see and understand what the OP has written.
Her very first sentence agrees with me that her mother has always been toxic towards them since childhood, and OP rationalised it by saying its because her parents marriage broke down due to them looking for a boy child.
OP herself said mum has always been negative, toxic and unsupportive right from their childhood.
She knows her mother better than anyone on here.
Someone that didn't love her own daughters because they were born female is incapable of truly loving her female grandaughters. Her grandsons on the other hand will be over-pampered and spoilt rotten. The young girls will only grow up with low self esteem and feeling of unworthiness.
OP has a duty to protect her girls from toxic people, and I hope she doesnt fail in that responsibility.
may you be blessed with such a character as OPs mother in your life.

Ok dear, you were right and I am sorry.

She should disown her mother and never speak to her again or let her children anywhere near her. She should also not attend her funeral when she dies.

FarahAideed:


Piers is just an attention seeker ...

And has always been so

I like this decision. Steve Mnuchin must be feeling disappointed right now.

emmaodet:


The way you write has Craukkhaus written all over it.

Really? I don't know if I should take this as a compliment or not

Fountainofyouth:

Look at the desperate whining of so called men, not everyone is meant to known by their path in life, respect all women for what they to do or choose to be, but no, because most of y'all lazy ass hate to be a complete man whose rightful path is to solely provide, you come here to gloat and wail, continue.

Shut up, cave girl.
Don't go and find work, keep waiting for a man to deliver you.

NoToPile:
Fear is such a terrible thing and its making your mother act so irrationally. She doesn't want what happened to her to happen to you, its not like marriages with sons don't breakup. Just ignore her please.

Carrying a pregnancy itself is extremely stressful already then adding all these wahala to it, I just can't relate abeg.

Oh thank goodness, someone with a head screwed on properly.

eyinjuege:
Cut her off.
Shes a very toxic woman as you know.
Stand your ground and block her number from your life.
She can never love her granddaughters and you dont need that in your life.

Cut off her own mother? Block her mother's number? Really?

You didn't stop to think that maybe her mother is simply worried about her marriage and doesn't want it to crash just like hers did for the exact same reasons?
She is just going about it the wrong way and not expressing herself appropriately.

But you concluding that she will never love her granddaughters because you think she is toxic, is simply projection. You have issues and you're shallow.

Fountainofyouth:

How many men likes the idea of having maids do almost everything? Or do you live in a cage?

I'll ignore your banter, but don't ever insult stay at home mums again, or do they just sit at home and not do anything? You think cleaning, cooking and taking care of kids is child's play?

Please shut up and go make good of your life. No where did I insult stay at home mums.

The topic is about a married woman being financially responsible for herself.

If all the great women in the world whom you look up to as mentors did not earn money or make a name for themselves, you won't have had any women to look up to today.

So please shut your trap.

Fountainofyouth:

But men are dependent on women to feed and clean the house for them so what's the big deal, ordinary financial provision you guys keep hyperventilating, y'all were cursed to toil the earth from the time of Adam so get used to it.

If financial provision was so ordinary, you lots won't be writing long articles to defend your leeching behaviour. Cleaning and cooking is something anyone can be paid to do, it's not a special power of women. We are not in the 1800s

Lazy fcks.

nahzyla:
[s]WHEN A WOMAN BECOMES A LIABILITY.

Ever heard statements like: "I must have a job before getting married, I don't want to be a liability to any man". Or "I can't be a full time house wife ooo, I don't want to be a liability to any man". Sometimes parents tell their daughters; you must finish your education and get a job before you think of marriage. I don't want my daughter to be a liability to any man. I have come to discover that this is the mindset a vast majority of people today.

I asked a lady quite close to me. "when does a woman become a liability to her husband? " Due to the fact that she knows me quite well and knows that I don't just ask questions any how, she didn't give me an answer that day. She had to think deeply. She asked her younger sister the same question and she quickly replied without thinking "when she does not have a job. Her mum and a friend of hers gave exactly the same answer.

I have had course to hear statements like these in the past and a bit more frequently in recent times and I seemed to agree with it but as I began to hear it more frequently in recent times I found myself subconsciously thinking about it in... guess where? In the bathroom and toilet (sorry to mention that, some of my deepest inspiration come to me in that room). Winks*

Then the big question: Does the fact that a woman is not working and contributing financially to the up keep of the home make her a liability to her husband or the home?

Now, Mr. Man, you have a wife that loves you so much. She spends time praying for you, committing your day to God's hand, sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night to find her petitioning heaven for the family, she wakes up as early as 4 or 5 am to make sure you are set for the day's job and whispers word of encouragement to you just before you leave for work, when you get back tired and when you are discouraged.

In addition, since you married her, you hardly ever eat outside because she is such a good cook and you always eat at the right time. She even gives you a lunch pack. God has also blessed you with beautiful kids through her and those kids are well fed, taken care of, always neat and well brought up.

This woman does not make it a habit of denying you your conjugal right (sex) giving you one excuse or the other. You also confess that whenever you take your problems to her, she has a way of making your problem look so small or even go away. She is also a very good manager of resources.

Not withstanding, there is one major issue. She has no job and does not contribute to the financial upkeep of the family. Does this make her a Liability?

I looked up the word liability in the Oxford Advanced Learner dictionary and I saw three different definitions. The one that relates to the matter of discourse is that a liability is something that causes problems (in summary). I also went into the scriptures to understand the role of the man and the woman in the family and I realise that women should primarily be "keepers at home" while men should primarily be "the Providers" for the home. 1st Timothy 5:8; Titus 2:5. Biblically, a woman who has succeeded in doing the above cannot be called a liability whether she contributes financially to the family up keep or not.

Let me buttress with this example. We primarily use phones for keeping in touch with people either by calls, SMS, chats etc. Now, I purchased a simple touch lite Nokia and it helps me to keep in touch with people without any problem. Then I saw some phones that have features like gprs, scientific calculators, internet etc. Does that make my nokia phone a liability? If I now get a phone that have those other features and then the primary function of keeping in touch is malfunctioning, which of these two phones now become a liability?

For me, a woman should be actively engaged in one career, job, trade etc or the other but not for the sole purpose of
contributing to family upkeep. That is the primary role of the man. If as a man, you have a woman that supports financially, it is just an extra feature for you and it remains only an asset to you as long as it does not disturb the primary role of the woman. If it does, your working class wife is fast becoming a liability.

I hereby come to the following conclusion:
1. That a woman does not have a formal job or contribute to the financial up keep of the home does not make her a liability. In short it is the man who cannot adequately take care of the needs of the family that is becoming a liability.

2. Any woman can be a liability whether working and contributing to family finance or not. It is a function of her primary role, not the added features.

I stand to be corrected.

#Copied[/s]

ABSOLUTE TRASH!!!

All to keep women dependent on men.

Only cave women think like this.

Coolabbie:
It wasn't long ago I finished NYSC. One month income pays my rent. I'm good.

Your one month income pays a year's rent in an upscale neighborhood? That's interesting

Gentlemen, learn to see the vagîna as nothing more than fleshy muscles and you'll be fine.

When a female tells you she doesn't want to have sex even after you have kissed and aroused her, please let her be.

A woman can never accuse a man of rape when she knows him as someone who doesn't insist on having sex with her even if she is completely nakéd.

You men play yourselves when you put too much importance on a woman's pussi, this is why you can be easily accused of rape

Coolabbie:
Renting

But there are people who built in your neighborhood, even the one you rented was built by someone.

If you were to start looking to get your own house, would you be financially capable enough to build/buy one in that same neighborhood, considering how much you're already spending on rent?

sisisioge:
Biko listen to your brother!

It is better to buy a flat in a nice neighborhood than to build a mansion in a poor one biko. Business opportunities, nice social connections, good educations for your kids, better access to the good things of life...biko choose well.

Written like someone who has never had to think about having her own house with her name on it.

Coolabbie:
I will speak for myself and my experience.

I live in such a neighborhood and I love it. The calibre of people I have met just walking down my street is something that would never have been possible if I was living in low-income neighbourhoods.

Twice, I have gotten job offers without any mention of cv. One of them works closely with the governor, the other owns a radio station.
The people that offered me this job did not know me from Adam, they only know I am a neighbour.

Besides, nothing beats the inspiration gotten from walking around your neighbourhood and seeing beautiful mansions, clean streets, and breathtaking landscaping.

The quiet, the serenity, the security is something I will not trade.

The sun even hits different here walahi

Please, don't do it if you can't afford it. But if social mobility is your thing, then it should definitely be an option.

#MyOpinion

Did you build the house, are you renting, or just squatting with someone?

Cc: Mummyimadeit, can you see this?

ZooOga:


dignity and solidarity .... you no see Baba wearing his expensive shoes that NL loves?

I no understand baba

MummyIMadeIt:
Whats the State Police CID for, also let it be known that forensic technology isn't new again to the police department save the constraints of poor or no database, but the police can actually dig out the real issue if they want to

Issa long thing...

MummyIMadeIt:
The redeemed Church were Vera Omazuwa was killed is not an uncompleted building and as such has doors, meaning that the Church is kept locked after the days activities.

If this be the case, then questions should be asked.

1. How did she manage to go into a locked Church since no activity was going on?

2. If case 1 is valid, then how did she get access into a locked building ?

3. If she was raped, then, who is, or are the eyewitness(es) that witenessed the rape?

4. Are you sure that the rape story is not a distraction from the actual story here?

5. What if she was killed because she discovered a deadly secret, involving a prominent leader or member of the Church in the dead of the night, within the Church premises?

6. Another discovery there is the number of books she went with to the Church. I can count up to 9 books on the floor. Did she go with all those books to read at once that night or was returning it to someone?

7. Not disputing the fact of rape but what if it’s done to divert attention from main fact to shadows because Nigerians are quick to believe shit cock & bull stories?

A thorough forensic investigative assessment and autopsy be done to ascertain the real cause of her death.

In Naija, this is a long thing...

Understanding the difference between being friendly and friendship, is key.

What did they discuss?

Photos don't tell complete stories...

Politicians and Nollywood actors, I don't know which of them are better at playing a part.