₦airaland Forum

YoungRichRuler:
You know you have a problem.
You are ready to solve the problem.
You will 'deliver' yourself gradually.
You can't stop helping your family.

But you have to be cautious in spending money.
If you continue like this, the same people you're helping will accuse you of not having anything despite working for a time.

Use your brain
That's all i have to say for now.

Seun, Lalasticlala Come and help our sister

Lol,I guess I will start making good use of my brain. Thank you

Benita27:
.

Seems I will break one of my ATM cards and transfer money there as soon as alert enters. Thank you but then my question is I know there is no amount of length I can't go for my family cos we have been tru a lot together,even the way I do put their matter on my head,a friend once said its wrong that I should care for them but not the way am doing it. Now the mentality of Africa parent is since they gave birth to you they can control you as they deem fit,I have read many stories from here. We should be greatful to them but I feel once a child is grown,there are certain limit should be off for them. Is this how it should be ,they would start reminding you how they sacrificed their whole life for you

[quote author=prestigiouslady post=61860.[/quote]That's just the problem,I stay with them and see them everyday.

Dasherz:
I sight you windflower .. how you doing?

Lol,I sight you too,what are you still doing awake at 1,you this gurl I don dey fear you o. Are you sure you are not a ...... Happy Sunday dear

[quote author=Lalas247 post=61854742]my dear you are not alone...
when it came to family I too did the same as have a soft spot to a fault... it actually became a routine when then they even knew my pay day etc I will get a msg a day prior send for this and that...
sometimes the load alone makes u live for them.instead of yourself ...

my solution...

I started saying no

I only gave if I felt I wanted to ( or serious emergency ) not because my mum or sis or brothers force me to .. used to feel so guilty but in time they understood now they don't demand

help when you can if you feel forced , don't it's the only way to correct that pattern[/quo

Seems you were not staying with them,that's where my issue is,they sometimes even know when alert enters.
Its not even easy to say no,for example last month she has a debt she wanted to pay and I know she didn't have money,I had to help her pay it even though I was broke afterwards. I couldn't even afford tf to work
Its not like she is misspending money or she is buying clothes and jeweleries but I just feel she should be more understanding. Isn't every parent prayer that their children should be more successful than them,is that not why they trained us in the first place. What she is trying to do is because she sacrificed so much for me then I should do the same for her and my dad isn't like that at all.I know something would always come up every month,before I started working she was managing by herself,so why can't she continue so I can achieve what I want to achieve

My dad came from a broken home, which somehow ruined his future, he couldn't further in his education which is why he took it upon himself that all six of his children must be educated. Its not been easy for them, they have deprived themselves of social life and many other things. Presently, am the third born but the first graduate which means am the only one working.
I and my mum are very close, like I can't even take any decision without consulting her first.

Straight to the point, I started working last year and have been helping out in my own little way, earlier this year I bought a 32inch TV close to 65,000, I gave my brother 40,000 to buy a gadget he needed to learn a skill, mum needed an appliance worth 250,000 and I paid a 35% down payment which she was supposed to be paying the rest installmentally.

Now this morning she called me and said I would help her pay another 30% then she will pay the rest. We were joking just last week, when a message entered my phone and jokingly she said I received an alert of 20million, that I would give her and my dad half of it, my older siblings #2million each while I take the remaining.

Note, I am not a stingy person at all, in fact now am beginning to think she manipulates me because I have a soft spot for her. My older brother once said he won't disclose to her how much he earns when he starts working, but am the opposite, am always transparent towards her.

Recently I told her I want to start an online store, so I can have extra money because my salary doesn't even last me till the end of the month. So telling her this, why should she say I should help her in paying another 30%. She even told me she knows this month salary is booked, cos I promised to give my sister part of her house rent in school, buy drugs for my grandma, so she said I can help her with my November salary.

She even helps me plan it, I don't want this year to go by without doing anything, if I continue like this, then I won't have any savings, my accounts are all red. I could remember when I collected my second salary, I gave half to her so we can buy foodstuff, dad refused and said she should return it that am just starting out so they shouldn't disturb me. Throughout my NYSC I didn't save a dime yet I was collecting state allowance also, I don't spend money lavishly, I know how to manage myself.

All the money I kept sending home. I know its my duty but should our parents hold us Ransome because of all they have done for us cos that's exactly what she meant.

I dunno if am the only one experiencing it, now I know come November I will give her the money which means the plan of starting my own biz would have to wait till next year. I planned on enrolling for my masters degree this year but had to postpone it because I wanted to help out.

Is this how I will continue or what can I do concerning the situation. I am sorry for the long epistle but it was needed.

Dasherz:
lol ... you just cracked me up

Lol,glad I did,its just soo annoying the way guys have been opening threads on how girls are bad people.

Dasherz:
do you even comprehend my post? .

Leave the guy jare,they are attracted to em slay queens that are very attractive and know how to perform different styles in bed,when its doesn't work out then they whine and say all girls are the same.

You didn't even confirm that she is the one,you just heard voices. How sure are you that she is the one,you don't have any evidence against her. Moreover,you don't know what she has been through to survive,you can't just walk into her life and expect her to be completely loyal to you

Blakjewelry:
Wristwatch business is OK if you are buying from AliExpress but if you are buying large quantity I prefer alibaba, they sell whole. And yes the exchange rate is something to consider, from 165 to present 370 do charge by bank. Though it all depends on your target market sha

Hmmm,can I send you a pm

Blakjewelry:
I don't know if it's the same guy you are talking about because I actually contacted him back then though he didn't get to give me the info before I lost his contact. he did not ask anything from me o, though I don't know what transpire between the two of you. Even me self am considering charging a fee o lol after all information is costly, I have to do a lot of trial and error. The only reason I am giving out info free on nairaland is because this platform has really helped me a lot. And for those who want to go into jewelry business should consider the exchange rate.
And also I don't do AliExpress anymore because I consider most jewelries on the platform fake.

Hello,so do you mean that the exchange rate isn't favourable for one to start the business now.Also,if you ain't buying from aliexpress,then where are you buying.
Please your advise would be greatly appreciated as I intend starting with wristwatch soon

[quote author=deafeyez .[/quote]I don't think the fact that you didn't start a convo with the woman is a bad thing.
Firstly,have you tried to understand the reason behind it cos if it were me,I would have done the same. The only comment I would utter is really,en en,na wa o
Why because am a fan of minding your business,if someone doesn't wear bra,does it add to the money in my account. I hate gossiping,I hate talking on frivolities. Even if I want to gossip about something,its would be with my closest pal like family, the same woman that gossiped about the woman not wearing bra will find something to say about you too to the next person immediately you leave there. So op,don't beat yourself up on this. Being an introvert has helped me in a way,cos I can't stand hypocrisy, so I prefer to keep to myself, even as introverts has its disadvantages, I had still be an introvert any day anytime,I might just have to adjust on some things.

tbliss22:
What's all this guys, this is no biggy na.... Are you guys amazed all because he is white or what?? Anyone can hustle for a living irrespective of the skin color or race.

Finally, let's fucking drop this thing called "inferiority complex", its taking us no where.

Hi,please kindly check your mail,I sent you a pm

Here we go again,why must you now generalise that all girls are liars,deal with the person and not the whole gender.If one girl dissapoints you,then look for another who won't. There are a lot of good girls out there even if they are few,just pray you come across one

2sizzlin:
If I misunderstood you guys pls lemme know.

pursue career
Be independent
Be matured
Date and get to know each other

I can't type plenty though but lemme just drop only one.
If you or your husband is a chronic liar it will build up to an unhappy marriage and very likely = divorce

You have obviously misunderstood the whole thing,cos I don't even understand your point exactly.

Dasherz:
yea .. I just wrote down my bucket list I have alot planned out and I just hope this will work out. @bolded i've missed out on alot and I need to start having friends .. I am tired of an almost empty phonebook

Lol,Berra cos when people recounts all the fun they had in their school and nysc days,I had just be looking at them. In some way,I don't really have any regrets cos I had my own fun in my own little way.

Also,be careful of friends,I also enjoy my privacy because I don't like having issh with people,and trust me there is no way you will relate with people and not have qualms with them,so being an Introvert helps me in this aspect

Dasherz:
I swear given a choice I won't choose to be an introvert. .. it sucks .. really sucks

I can only get to express myself better when I think I'm quite comfortable with whoever is around me asides that I just try to live normally on the net..

but recently I've decided to defy my nature, step out there; make friends in school and church. . at least baby steps

Haha,my twinnie,in my opinion the best you can do is to embrace who you are and make it work for you. You can still be an Introvert and have friend's even socialise. Just try and see what works for you. It z well dear but most importantly, do not let introversion rub you of some memorable activities in life else you would regret it,and that's when you will begin to hate your introverted nature

Darkseid:
The problem with the OP is not introversion but low low self-esteem. I'm an introvert too but still everybody wants to be around me. I don't talk much but when I do, I always put smile on people's face and I smile a lot too, I guess smile draws people closer.
So Mr. OP try to work on your self-esteem. I won't give up introversion for 10 million dollars. Extroverted life sucks.

Exactly,you nailed it,Introvert and shyness/low self esteem are two different things. Speaking from experience, I love my quiet nature but when I feel like talking(only to those am comfortable with), you would think am a comedian and other times,I just want to go into my shell. Introvert has to do with being reserved,doesn't mean you can't mingle but you just love your privacy

This is interesting,I need to learn ,but most times I think its just coincidence.

Arry110:
See this one , rejoicing for Lexus at his old age , hasn't he seen wizkid and davido

And if he does something illegal to buy a latest car,na una go still bash am,the guy is contented with the little he has and ure still complaining. Humans sha

[quote author=npowerng post=61755990]Your mobile number and email address please.[/quo
Good day Npowerng,
I have also been to my bank and was told my account can receive a large sum,so I don't know what's going on with my backlog

Dasherz:
quite a day

how was your day?

Lol,its was good at least.

Dasherz:
Akwa Ibom state

I used to have a friend from that side,how was your day

[quote author=Dasherz post=6y1712411]where do you stay?[/quote]Lagos state, U

Dasherz:
you are so me in a way

Lol,we might be twins o,u never can tell.Maybe we were separated in the hospital

GeeString:
4rm my experience with them, they rarely cheat.
Even when they do, its usually with another girl which is ok by me. Although I make it clear I dnt mind as long as I know who d girl is.

I cant stand cheats in relationships, let alone in marriage. I'll kill someone.

Lol,this is serious,so u wouldn't mind a bisexual. You can't stand her cheating with a man but you can stand her cheating with a girl,cheating is cheating irrespective of the gender.
And from your experience, the girl she is cheating with isn't making you feel insecure,coz its no longer two people in the marriage,it's now three.
Goodluck in your search tho

Jina24:
Who says one can make money or pursue ones ambitions when married. @Windflower the truth there is getting the right man. That is not just what you want but what is God's will for you. 23 is not small by the way but no one should put pressure on you.

Thank you ma,but Its going to be really hard for a woman to pursue her ambition while married,I believe you have to lay the groundwork while ure still single.
How is your little princess,I read your diary

jeff1607:
you guys still don't get it

what I meant is this, despite you doing all humanly, financially possible, emotionally etc and the statement pops up what is the best way to react.

I totally get it,the statement is really painful,but the best thing is to keep quiet in such a situation. Recounting what uve done would make the table turn round and then the blame will fall on you. Whenever you are helping people not just your spouse,always do it because you wish not that you were compelled to do it so that when matters like this arises,you can easily overlook it

GeeString:
E go shock you the percentage of naija girls that are bi.

Iv dated many...

If you are serious with what you typed, why do you want a bisexual. I am not getting it

Lol,funny thing is you might not be the one he hissed at,people are so frustrated this days,might just be he is replaying an angry incident in his head. Its happened to me of recent,the girl is like a junior sister to me,she hissed while looking at me and I didn't see anyone there,its was just two of us. I concluded she hissed at me for no reason unknowingly she just fought with someone

Lol,that's nice,am proudly Yoruba but on a serious note its high time we start seeing people as human first rather than Yoruba,Ibo or hausa. Anybohdy could have done you that favour.As much as I love you praising my tribe,its comment like this that brings about comparison and discrimination against tribes. Do not be surprised if you meet another Yoruba guy tomorrow and they dissapoint you