₦airaland Forum

Marxxx check this link thats a finishing school,theres a course " how to be a lady" enrol her there.

You may even get a personal coach from there for a few days.



etiquetteconsultancy - http://www.lagosfinishingschool.com/etiquetteconsultancy.htm

I love the outfit

The agbada and fila abejiaja on the groom.

Toolz outfit is lovely .

I love Yoruba culture it seems agbada is no longer for old Baba's lool.
Cool color too.

CC: Shymm3x

RiloKiley:
First time I heard of it was with a respected man of the church during my early marriage years. Apparently its a way to appease the girl for all the years she invested in the relationship. Bizzaire.

So it has been happening. I cant imagine how the discussion will go like. Maybe something like "XYZ, please accept this in place of the love we shared and can share no more" or " Kindly take this for all inconveniences you passed through while it lasted"

Very strange.

Marxxx

Its the first time I am hearing a guy settles a girl with cash.

Buy the clothes and shoes yourself and give them to her. What if she doesn't know where to buy them or doesn't have friends that are exposed who will follow her shopping.

Tell her you don't want crayfish with your rice. She stood by you when you didnt have much, now you have evolved she is now behaving local abi. Remember you were once local too.

If it means you enrolling her in finishing school to learn etiquette, composure in public, table manners etc you should do that. She will learn. You can make her a proper lady its not difficult.

Please what is wrong with laughing and screaming when she's with you if its not in the public.

You are concerned about what your colleagues will say when they see her "cheap dresses". Go shopping with her nooow and suggest clothes she can buy.


Shes not cheating

Shes not a spendthrift

Shes with you because of you not because of what you have.

She loves you.

Those people you are trying to impress wont be there for you when you run into trouble.

Summary of my advice do not let her go. One does not value what he has till he loses it. Bring her up to your level.


modified.

Faith111:
b
Op please Love believes all things...

LewsTherin:
Irrespective of what naysayers say, it's really a function of the type of people you BOTH are. You know who you are and you have an idea of who she is. Is she very impressionable? Does she have firm principles. What of you?

[/quote]Cammo, The posters I quoted above expressed what I wanted to say but seeing this statement in your last post is a source of concern

"And what if some other guy offers to assist her - she'd definitely leave me"

Hope you are not assisting her out of insecurity? The fact that you even have this thought of her leaving u if another guy helps her says a lot about you /your motive and how you see this lady in question.

If you are concerned that she may leave u after sometime I may still relate with that because relationships do break but being concerned that she will DEFINITELY leave you because someone else offers financial assistance is ........

There's a certainty in that statement which I find very disturbing. You already know she will follow the tide of CASH and thats not healthy for any relationship.

onatisi:
I have a potbelly friend in badagry,I am trying to imagine him been a vigilante.

The truth is the governor of Lagos and the police commissioner have failed in Lagos,maybe it is time the opc is called in to help

Bros, the matter is not funny oo, All the males were out yesternight burning tires and making noise, I couldn't even sleep well.

We do hear police sirens but it seems they patrol only the expressway and some link roads. I am tempted to think that police response is poor because these areas are not the supposed highbrow areas. OPC is a good idea too. God will help us.

We did not sleep most part of yesternight ooo. This matter is really serious. All the landlords have joined the vigilante burning tires.

A lot of people are so scared. God help us.

abitex577:
Please can you tell me the approved way of sex by God?
Please stop deceiving yourself with your self righteousness. MouthAction is holy as long as.....

The approved way is the p.nis inside the v.j its that simple.

I don't think there's any self righteousness here, there are a lot people who know/think that MouthAction is wrong.

MouthAction holy??

Shymm3x:
Lool. Kickers are London classic all purpose footwear. It's not really about how they look - it is about how you rock them, especially the laces. If you ever see me in kickers, you will definitely fall in love with me loool.

Just tell all ya friends to watch out for the Yoruba don that will get them hypnotised by just his presence alone.

Alright then but my friends and I are resistant to the charming looks of Ijebu guys.

Lizypumping:
Imagine that. This is a very similar case. She can take the 40k. One of my friend tho a male said to me that (the head of a child brings a child, so the head of a job will bring a better job) meaning we can start from any job. The more you go out every day you meet new people and you tell them and from there you are a step away from you dream job something like that. 40k is not bad in nigeria for a start.

Secondly, just becos her sister is 38 and not married is non of her buisness. What if God has destined her sister as a mother in Christ that would not marry ever?

The baseline is that we all should play our parts in life fairly and in accordance to God's teaching.

She couldn't even resume when the sister was accusing her of being selfish for wanting to resume at the job. I was like shuuu, saying its because she doesnt want to help her thats why she doesn't want to baby sit.

That you have an elder sis that is not married yet statement shocked me and is a very selfish reasoning.

Yep, play your parts fairly. If living with someone help around in the home like you would do in yours do not be a burden or constitute nuisance to your host, when you eventually leave they should miss you and if someone is staying with you do not deprive them of the freedom they are entitled to have.
Do not let their lives come to a standstill because they are staying with you and you are feeding them.
Do not use them to improve your lives and that of your children while theirs is not being improved.

Finding the balance is the key. If only every one would put themselves in that position when they act it would go a long way.

Sometimes I do not blame people who say their children cant live with any one.

[

[quote author=Shymm3x post=42377621]Lol. They got that vicious wordplay from Yoruba women. You know when you're dealing with women with razor mouths, you just have to take it a notch higher, to be able to match the venom. Coupled with the fact that this is the hip-hop generation and everything has "no limit" like Master P. So if you want to go it at it, it's either you go hard or go home. Frog princess and gorilla - that's double whammy of animalia and the merging of reptilia and mammalia. Darn! That nyggah went in. I can't believe he gives relationship advice and he's also psychologist.

The outfit and shoes look decent - he just basically made the trad fit into urban fashion and he pulled it off. When is ya wedding? I'm going to crash ya wedding in Yoruba trad and kickers. Check out what kickers look like (the best footwear ever):

You are such a case shey you know, you are still jesting about the yabs abi. You even went genetic about the yabs. Diaris God oooo.

Looks decent /okay maybe but doesn't just look right. Kindly wear a proper shoe on the agbada when coming not that stuff in the picture except you are wearing something else lool.

Shymm3x:
Loooooooooool. Nothing is too much when you're defending yourself against an unprovoked attack in a war of attrition. A real warrior would either ignore or go the kill. And they went for the latter.


Darn! Them nyggahs right there are too flee to be crashing weddings for food. C'mon, I know poverty is real in naij, but they don't even look like they live in naij and with all the super nice trads they rock everywhere, I doubt they're hungry. Shyte, I need to start checking their insta from time to time just to get some insight into how to rock Yoruba trads - Yoruba trads for men are flee as fvck.

C'mon, this nyggah rocked creative recreation crepz on Yoruba trad and made it look fly. That right there is like taking fashion sense to ionosphere. This nyggah is going to make me start rocking creative recreation again (I stopped in 2012). Check out the pic:

Okay well she shouldnt have said all that if toolz gave her a heads up she still shouldnt have. But those guys have a phd in yabbing it was just too low abeg. Did I just see frog princess/gorilla as a heading of one of the videos? Haba. Since it was Tunde himself that invited them they should have just left her. The venom was too much jare .

The outfit is nice but those shoes sha.

What is the problem you have with her earning more?

Loool

I have a friend who was/is in a similar situation. The part where the sister said they will look down on them if she takes the job is so familiar, I ve heared such before.

Some elder siblings can be selfish, using you to live their lives while yours is placed on hold, there should be a balance, help your sis at home and you should still be able to live your life.

My friend is 27plus and could not really go out on dates because shes babysitting and when they would talk they said shebi she has a 38yr old sister that is not yet married why is she in a hurry , so because she has an unmarried sibling that means she should meet potential spouses abi. That is an example of selfishness.

This same friend just finished msc and she does makeup too. She travels to osun state for a wedding make up and they say how much are they even paying you for the makeup sef that you are travelling to Ife. Its Lagos to Ife ooo not Yola to Ife.(You know she would have gone a day before in order to attend to the bride early since shes not in the same town with her so I guess she couldn't baby sit for that day)

She also got a small day job where she would be paid 40k, they said its like a sales girl job that she ll get a better one infact the sis said to her face that its because she doesn't want to help her baby sit that's why she wants to take the job (They actually called a family meeting on her head).

I asked her that since 40k is small will they give her that as pocket money every month? So she cant manage a small job till the big break comes abi.
She had to drop the opportunity.

This is an example of a selfish sibling and trust me they are so much in naija. I am all for doing chores and all that but some siblings will virtually want to live their life through you and place yours on hold and before you know it years have passed.

We talk about people maltreating maids if only we know what some siblings also pass through.

A lot of people are not nice at all.

Shymm3x:
.

I think they had to go go in cos she crushed their egos needlessly on social media.

Those guys look too flee to be crashing weddings for food. So that might just be their lifestyle for networking. And networking is a hustle cos it puts ya face out here and creates publicity for you, especially if you're in a field that feeds off publicity and networking. But she decided to knock their hustle and shame them in public glare - despite the fact that they're above her on the social ladder. Some skets just have no respect for real nyggahs.

Anyway, she got served with full English breakie, and they got more publicity in return. At least I know them now and I'll always be on the look-out for Olumofin.

No matter what she said, the response was too much now haba.

Did you say look too flee to crash for food? I am almost sure they are not in that category but if you are in naija you ll know that anything is possible. There are people who dress super gorgeously and crash parties for food and sometimes sprayed money in fact you will never suspect them they are professionals , they blend in perfectly loool. Anyway I do agree that parties are a good way to network.

By the way where is the post that caused all this wahala, what exactly did she say gaaan.

Shymm3x:
Lol. That's why I like you. There's nothing better than a cultured, real, and respectful woman that minds her business. Woman of great virtue right there.

Yes, they're Olumofin. They've got swag as well. My type of Yoruba dons right there.

Ol'girl must have called them wedding crashers. But they aren't having it. How can you throw shades at real nyggahs like that? These chics don't know when to shut up.

lool


Well they shouldn't have said all that. It was just too much energy maybe they had some sort of beef before.

Shymm3x:
Happy new year, my Ijebu sister.

I hope you're not like these other owanbe Yoruba chics that act like market women and talk reckless all the time? That shyte is so unattractive. A lot of these chics need to learn how to talk and also mind their business.

Anyway, "Olumofin" is a such a beautiful name and these guys are legends. Real Yoruba dons.

I just found out that they were the ones who put Yoruba nyggahs on the map with this picture below:


I like these guys already.

You are such a case. You know the answer to that question already.


Are those guys the olumofin's? They look so okay.

What exactly did she say to deserve the epistles I didnt see that in the OP.

.

Shymm3x:
Lmao.

I can't believe I went on instagram to read the posts. Shyte, I had to click likes on all the posts.

Darn!! This nyggah goes hard and he has swag - flee Yoruba nyggah. This is what you call "clap back" by nuking a sket and destroying her self-esteem.

Some Yoruba biitches just don't know how talk and every time they open their mouths, nothing comes out of it apart from idiocy. Erm, let me check: I've met two Ondo chics and they sure have bad breath. So this nyggah ain't lying - bad breath must be an Ondo girls thing.

Classic ether + take over - this nyggah goes hard. I can't lie, I'd pick up some punchlines. Monkeynization and 'Roman Imperialism' with a tint of Fake Superior Complex - bwahahahahahaha.

Hii bro, happy new year

I just knew I would see you on this thread lool

A lot of nairalanders are never realistic.

I just wonder how the wife copes. Reminds me of my ex- flat mate that got pregnant for a guy when she travelled home for christmas 2014 by she found out she was pregnant in February and the guy married a Briton (which he had told her about) around march for residency as his stay had expired (he had been there for some years).

The guy said he would come in august to complete their marriage rights and to visit and of course he didn't/couldn't .

She had the baby early October and when I went to visit her she was like yetseyi I cant encourage anybody to enter a long distance relationship/marriage that she was the only one no emotional support. She was sick during pregnancy one particular evening and no one to help her(I had moved out and relatives are in the east)

The guy is sending cash, she has a good job but theres something missing. Her own case is even different because she is not yet legally married to the guy yet.

There's also the December marriage guys, they come for Christmas see a girl in village complete the rights of marriage,spend two weeks with her, return in January and wont come back for the next five years or come every December. If wifey gets pregnant she does everything alone if she's not pregnant she stays alone, bros would have been married to another person for papers. If he comes home the next time he gets her pregnant again she does all alone and the cycle continues.

Leaving your family and coming back after a specified time can still be managed e.g the man goes for a masters or Phd but all this I want to go and hustle things is a no no. I believe the woman loses more. I am not even really a fan of going abroad to hustle(especially when one knows he doesn't have the right papers).If its for schooling, visiting, business etc but all this travelling with no direction I honestly do not believe in it.

scantee:
thanx dear, concerning the call friend i have since cancel the notion. If you don't mind Nwannem biko nga acho ka mu na gi kpa na ekwenti mgbe obuna inwere efe`, biko deputaram akara ekwenti gi

UWC

Sorry I m not igbo so kindly translate.

Where I come from the white wedding takes place in the brides church but after the wedding its expected that the bride will join her hubby's church.

Well I dont understand the convert to catholic part of the story.

Whats hard in solemnizing the couple in catholic church and attending redeem after marriage? What is also hard in solemnizing them in redeem and also attending redeem after marriage?



God will surely help us.

scantee:
thanx sis how are u doing? Concerning some of ur questions: the major reason here is that i feel betrayed, crushing on a guy is one thing, but inviting the guy over and spending time with him is something else

I agree with that perfectly and its a source of concern IMHO she should have told him no and not entertain him again

scantee:
because the more time u spend with him the more ur feelings for him increases, though she declined his proposal but being close to him often will surely push her into having affairs with him,

Its a possibility

scantee:
she even said she can never crush on any guy sometime ago.

Anybody can crush on anybody at any time



I understand how you feel though and you have every right to feel betrayed ( most men would) but ultimately she didn't cheat on you. I think you should be more concerned about the initial statement I made in my other post about being able to ward of guys when they come knocking even after marriage. honestly the distance is not helping you guys.

I would still say talk with her know whats on her mind she may just be a bit skeptical.

And also you need to work on yourself too, I can see you avoided the professional caller part i mentioned, no lady will see that and be happy at all( I have to be honest) it just doesn't speak well at all.

Talk things through with her bro this can still be sorted out.

scantee:
Cc: @Yetsay, @wroskian

Scantee, I saw your thread and mention even though you spelt it wrongly. I wil try to be as objective as possible.

scantee:
..

To shortened the story..we spent time together in Lagos last xmas before she traveled for new year..while i stayed back in Lagos, & we have agreed that we would be getting married this being her final year in school, i noticed that since she left for the new year celebration in her village our communication declined so much, she hardly called or pick my calls, when i complained she attributed that to a bad network in the village where she went to spend some days with her friend that was getting married that last year.

NOW SHE IS BACK TO SCHOOL..the same thing is still happning, she does not give me much attention again, hardly called, if i called she will claim to be so tired having hectic day in school, so i got tired of everyting yesterday when i called her she did'nt pick my call rather she text me that is was very busy & will call me back when she is done, after 2hrs no call back i decided to call her back & her number was busy, after she done making her call she picked my & said she was on call with her sister, i asked what she was doing that kept her busy from 8;30pm -10:30pm she said she was ironing & cooking. I felt unconvinced i asked her are you tired of me? She said yes & laughed, i was shocked, i ask her why, she said she can't even explain it herself, i then ask..

ARE U SEEING SOME ELSE OR HAVING CRUSH ON ANY GUY? She said yes that it started last year, the guy use to come visit her in her hostel, but now she has lost contact with the guy, though nothing has ever happend between them, i felt like i was dreaming because i can swear for this girl that she can never do such...she said though she declined the guys proposal to date him because she does not see the possibility of it happning. Now i fell betrayed after all these years of waiting even when some friends adviced me against it, i have lost the trust in her, right now i feel so hurt, she pleaded that she don't even understand what is happning to her that she is confused, she then said she just feel like being left alone to concentrate in her final year project...

please i feel so sad right now because i put all my egg in one basket in the name of love, my imagination is just going wild about her right now, i have lost apitite for food & loosing concentration, i so much love & trust her. Please how do i overcome this now? help me..

All what you said here i didnt see any place where she said she called of the relationship or you called off the relationship, She said she had a crush on a guy, having a crush on someone is not a sin in all honesty, the true test is always if you move ahead to the next level. The guy asked her out and she declined ( most likely because of her commitment to you).

Are you feeling betrayed because she had a crush on another guy, declined dating him, informed you about it or because she said she is confused?

You lost trust in her coz she told you about the supposed crush?

Please answer the questions.

Scantee, most girls do have guys that are always on their neck for a relationship or even get proposals from men when they are already hooked, Infact married women get asked out and pestered by men( even when you tell them you re with someone) and the ability to say no is always the game changer.

[/b]I am concerned that she actually allowed the guy to continue visiting her in the hostel, I would have thought she wouldnt have entertained him further, the reason I brought this up is because if you are going to marry that Lady she will be alone for most times in the year for about half of the year based on the kind of job you do. She will meet all kinds of men and thank God you know that the statement " I am married does not deter some guys". Will she break under intense pressure when you are absent, If she cant put off a toaster now will she be able to cope with your prolonged absence, you know her kind of person, you should be able to answer this question. Men come with sweet mouth saying all sort of things to win the prize and she has to be emotionally mature enough to make a stand and stay by it. Some women cant stand distant relation ships and marriage[b] The bolded is actually my major concern

One thing that is established is that she did not cheat on you even though she had the opportunity to. I think you are "crowding" her too much for her to say she is tired of you. She may just feel overwhelmed, she says she is confused and wants to do her project alone, I think you should just calm down and let her have her project and in the process she will rethink and cool her head off, dont take any drastic measure just let her "think". That doesn't mean you should not call or text or know how she is doing but please not on per second billing for now. She will come around. Sometimes we tend not to appreciate what we have until we lose it for a while.

One more thing I think you should have a long talk with her to know exactly what she wants, " I want to do my project alone" is too vague

she seems to be a good and honest person.It will do you good if you do not heed to all the flirt around with girls advice's you have been getting
Just get past the hurt and betrayal you are thinking you feel.

It also seems you cant cope with the knowledge that other men will try to win your girls heart, bros men will always go after your girl oo, If that is what is hurting you you need to shake it off.

That she is confused and she had a crush and turned down relationship is not enough to call of an engagement

Most importantly since you are a christain Pray, really pray. God knows the innermost intents of the heart he will tell you who she truly is.

Kindly respond on this thread


Modified: I just read through some comments on that FP thread and all I will say is Scantee give her another chance oooo, She has not commited any major offence, one doesn't call of a relationship because his fiancee confessed that she had a crush and turned him down.

Okay so I took some time to go through your profile and I saw the call friend thread like seriously who does that and I think you mentioned shes on nairaland and you know she will see it, no wonder your girl is saying she is confused, she annoys you then you want to talk to another lady ( professionally as you call it) bros you also need to work on some things about yourself too. . When you marry and your wife nags you will you employ a professional female listener? . It really is unfair

SaffronSpice:
Those saying Jonathan contained Ebola keep surprising me.
How did he 'fight the disease to a standstill'?
And how can any1 compare the Ebola pandemic to these few cases of Lassa fever?(No slight intended)...
My point is: The international media had made the public aware of how deadly the virus is b4 Sawyer brought it into the country,hence,health officials were more prepeared to handle the outbreak,and not because Jonathan was that capable.
All we need is the same level of public sensitisation we had during the Ebola outbreak.

PS: Am not in support of blaming the last adminstration 4 dis recrudesence.

1000likes
A lot of Nigerians are so ignorant or have allowed political/ethnic sentiments to cloud their reasoning.

Some people are even saying ordinary Lassa fever, SMH as if Lassa is not as deadly as ebola.

StefanSalvatore:
Halo rum, dis is my first tym here. Hope 2 get d help i seek

I wanna knw if there is anybody here who helps with with d meaning of dreams. Av consistently had 1 which i really need help with.

Tnx

Visit www.dreamtorchlight.org


Happy new year everyone.

Interesting...

Anybody can decide to spend any amount on their wedding.

But theres really nothing wrong in giving your guests coke, fanta or zobo if that what one can afford

The one that pisses me of is when you borrow money and then start paying debt after the wedding or you get services on credit hoping to pay with the money you will be sprayed with. I just cant understand that kind of reasoning what if they dont spray you cash?

Izugab also create a thread in the family section. You will surely get help. God see you through.

Acidosis:
I know this will hurt some folks but I don't care.


OP is your man an Ijebu man?

You've successfully described a typical ijebu man like one I know personally.


If he's from Ijebu, don't waste your time trying to CHANGE him. He won't change!!!

I'm talking about a 60yr+ man that will deny his children from watching TV just to manage prepaid electricity unit.

I'm talking about a man that will switch-off bulbs and use rechargeable lamps just to manage prepaid electricity unit.

A man that will boldly offer N1000 for a N5000 good after checking about 20 shops.

Don't be deceived, its not always about POVERTY. This same person has over 4 residential apartments on rent and another 9 - 10 shops in Lagos.

When you meet a genetically stingy man, he'd recommend charcoal iron over electric iron even if he's made the MD of Ikeja Electricity Distribution Company.

I am taking this very personal. Genetically stingy kooo. This man you described is not stingy because he is an Ijebu man. He is stingy because he is stingy.

How many Ijebus have you met , bros no yab my people again oo. I don't like it, Its not fair noow ahan.
>:

Missempress, I am majorly concerned about the stinginess you mentioned,

What if he didn't have money or does he have and has never shared or bought something for you.

Has he ever shared something with you? not necessarily cash.

Collecting the money you were sprayed at the party is not too okay at all. Its like inviting your friend to an event she gets sprayed and then you collect the cash from her.

Its more like "If I didn't invite you you would not get this extra cash so bring it" An elder sibling shouldn't even do that to a younger one not to talk of those dating.

1,500 may be small but you really need to know his motive, If he asked you because he was broke then its understandable but if its because of the reason I stated above then there is a problem. Sometimes lack of funds can make one do what one ordinarily wouldn't e.g over pricing of stuffs and collecting the sprayed money from you.

He sounds like someone that is from a very humble background and doesn't have access to funds, he may just be trying to be prudent with what he has. If he is stingy you need to know and it doesn't necessarily have to be from monetary stuffs if he is the sharing type he may not be stingy but just being prudent meaning if he has 10naira and can part with some percentage, if he can part with his personal stuff of that then he is not necessarily stingy.

Sis you need to find out which is his challenge, Money cannot change stinginess but money can change poverty.

As for the not being in vogue stuff and not knowing shawama baked beans etc those ones can be worked on.
He seems like an archaic person -that might be because he lived with his grandma(one would have though that having a masters already should have exposed him a bit)

Find out more about the way he sees things e.g handling finances, training of children etc etc. The part where he said you will learn swimming at his village got me lool though but he was just being honest. When he begins to make more money I doubt he will think that way.

Overall he seems like a good guy and the truth is good guys are scarce but if stinginess is his problem kindly look twice.