₦airaland Forum

Tough one there Jarus. may Allah ease the situation for you and provide you with a woman whom you'll never regret marrrying.

I can't blame your parent, they want the best for you. But at the same time, you need to convince them that not all lagos sisters are bad. There are many many good sisters in Lagos that you can get through careful selection.

But your parents don't seem to be the only problem here. what about you? What time do you have to look for a good match considering your work schedule? how do you intend to do the search? Or perhaps daddy an mummy will just go look for a good Kwara girl and bundle her to your doorstep.

Seriuosly, you need to create time for yourself. It's your life. Not many women will even like this 8-11 thing u're doing.

You can talk to muslims around you whom you feel are matured and upright to help in the search. We here too'll see what we can do aout it, insha Allah.

@Lagosboy

The hadith that was narrated about the woman who went to the Prophet(PBUH) and asked permission to use attachment on her daughter's hair on her wedding day because something was wrong with her original hair, the Prophet's answer was no, she could not use attachment.

Now, I want to know, did that hadith specify whether what the woman wanted to use was a human hair or other material?

My understanding of that hadith has always been that anything that is attached to the original hair to make it look longer and deceitful to those seeing it is what the Prophet(PBUH) referred to and thus should be avoided.

I'm not usually against those who use the wool to plait the hair normally without extending it beyond the length of the hair but you need to see the heavyweight of wools some people attach to their hair in the name of fashion.

So please, shed more light on this.

thanx for the info. May Allah reward you abundantly for that beautiful initiative, and all those who went too.

@jarus

I'm seeing this topic for the 1st time. Don't know how I missed it then. But still I want to know, how did it go? Did nairalander muslims turn up? How many of them came? Please gist us.

If she can't make a direct proposal due to bashfulness or fear of being turned down, she may go through someone who knows the brother well and has the wisdom to carry out the job well.

A case happened around me recently. The sister liked the brother and was too shy to go to him so she went to the brother's friend and started asking questions about the brother. The brother understood what she wanted and asked her if she didn't mind the brother. She affirmed and the brother got to work.

The wisdom he applied that I really liked was that he didn't go to tell the brother in question that hey sister so and so likes you. he just told his friend that he's been watching that particular sister and thought they could be compatible. the friend said, really? and watched the sister for a couple of days too and found that he liked what he was seeing. At the long run, it was the brother who went to propose to the sister. And did she accept!

So different ways can be used that won't put the sister in a difficult situation because the truth is, though Islam permits it, it's not so easy for a woman to walk up to a man and propose.

You stay in the north, so what? Who told you northerners are models for Islam? infact a lot of northern women wear the hijab more as just a cultural dressing than for being a muslimah. so you can't use the characters of those kinds to judge.

Anyone who takes on the hijab willingly, and wears it correctly can never be compared with those who don't. No one is created perfectly, and even with the hijab, human lapses are bound to occur every now and then but the truth is that the one who wears hijab is more courteous, feels more remorseful and strives to behave better than her counterparts.

Hijab isn't a sign of virginity as even a former prostitute who sincerely repents to Allah can begin to wear the hijab. A woman who hasn't been wearing it can begin to wear it at any age.

No one can deny the fact that the number of women wearing hijab and commiting atrocities is far far negligible to the number of the non-wearing ones commiting different forms atrocities in the world today.

This thread is all about being civil and making peace yet some people have begun to do the direct opposite.

At this point I have to ask, what do you people really gain from these insults and name-calling?
Answers,

The so-called wools are now used as attachments, even in a more ridiculous manner. Whether rubber or wool, attachment is attachment. As long as it extends beyond the original hair or is woven with the hair, it is an attachment.

@poster

What do you make of this verse and others like it? 'Oh ye who believe, obey Allah and obey His messanger and those in authority amongst you, ' surah An-nisai 4;59

Participating in a festival involves actively celebrating, putting on fine clothings for the celebration, going out to visit people and exchange greetings on the festival, cooking pecial dishes or willingly accepting them, and the likes.

Your uncle i only doing his own business, and even if he sells more during xmas and new year, thi is only an added advantage as long as he's not giving out to them for free to aid their celebration.

And Allah knows best.

Hmm. Seriuos talk.

Myself and a sister were having a talk on this very issue at work last week.
Coincidentally, she too was talking 3 and her reasons were not so different from the ones mentioned above.
Whenever talks as this come up, what 1st comes to my mind is Allah's saying; that He has made provision for all that we'll need even before we were born. He has only made our parents to be in charge.

In my sincere opinion, a couple should just pray to Allah to give them the best of kids, those who'll contribute positively to the ummah. The health status of the woman shuld be a higher priority than finance. For example, a woman who delivers through CS already has a limited number she can have. At times, a couple may want to have a large family but Allah decides otherwise and they don't have more than 2 or 3.

And we should remember that there are many out there who cry to Allah everyday for children and are yet to have one. So if Allah blesses you with the these gifts, just accept them as they come, be thankful to Him and then always supplicate that He make their sustenance easy on you.


We see them as a burden when they'e little but as a blessing when they're grown and taking care of us. Or is that not the case?

@olalekan

No you have not. You don't have a choice of going to work, do you? You can spend your holiday well by engaging in meritorous acts.
There are lots of programmes around this time here in Nigeria, to keep muslims busy and away from those celerations.

@luvola
what's your problem with that post?

Why should the child 'suffer utter shame in their life'? Thousands of people parade the earth today that were born out of wedlock and live normally like any other person. How many people even frown at children out of wedlock nowadays? And what aout couples who have all of their children out of wedlock? Do people see such children as outcasts? Or are there any differences between children born out of wedlock whose parents live together and those whose parents are seperated? No, there's no difference.

Any child born out of wedlock has no blame or sin on him. But his/her responsibilities lies with the mother. Such child bears her name and she has the responsibility of catering for himlher. If the father contributes in such child's upbringing, he's doing so willingly but isn't under any obligation to do so.

The complete list is out now. registration is going on.

Pls who has an idea of the lecture schedule of the M.A. English language?

You copied and pasted it here because you believe(d) in it. Wrong?

Thieves are everywhere. There shouldn't be a big issue about shoes being stolen in mosques. It may be more common in mosques because it's easier for petty thieves to do so in the mosque knowing that the owners of the shoes are concentrating on their prayer and won't see them.

Anywhere there's a large crowd, petty stealing tends to be rampant.Handbags, GSM phones and textbooks get stolen in exam halls when students are asked to put their things outside to avoid malpractices.
If you can't afford to lose your shoes, put them in polythene bags in a safe place in the mosque or even right by your side or front while you pray.

Ah well, the husband must have a very good reason for that. A good muslim husband wouldn't refuse his wife to visit or run errands for her parents. but if he does, he has to explain the reason behind the refusal to his wife.

if the wife notices a kind of injustice on the part of her husband regarding her parents, and calls his attention to it, if he, the husband does not have a tangible reason for his action, (say for example, he fears that the parents are evil doers and may lead his wife astray or cause discord between them (the couple,) then she should call those whom she knows her husband honors and listens to and report the case to them.

She should find all possible peaceful means to make her husband honor and respect her parents just as he would , his except those parents are evil-doers.

And husbands too should know that they would not only make their wives sad but would also be aiding what may lead to break in ties of kinship if they cause a strain in their wives relationship with their parents.

Before marriage, a girl-child is guided, monitored and provided for by her parents. Once she gets married, all of these responsibilities and more shifts to the husband whom she marries. this is why it is compulsory for fathers(or wali',  guardians) to strive in ensuring that the man they marry their daughter to is a righteous man.

The woman now has to respect and obey her husband except only in areas where the husband's wishes go against the teachings of Islam.

However, the rights of parents on their children is never overruled by marriage. A female child (just like the male) still owe the parents the responsibilities of loving, caring and providing for her parents' needs. when Allah says in the Quran that we should honor our parents and never say a word of anger to them, the command is general and not  restricted to the male-child alone.

No right-thinking husband would want his wife to disobey her parents. he'll take his parents-in-law as his own parents and the question need not even arise as to who the woman should obey 1st.

The husband has his own rights over his wife  and vice-versa. Likewise, the parents have their rights over their children.

It is the husband and wife who live together. the woman seeks her husband's permission to do things other than the obligatory ibadaah. in this wise, she seeks his permission if she intends visiting her parents or running errands for them. Except this visit or errand will cause a major problem in their home, no good husband will refuse to grant his wife permission to do this.

So really, in marriage, it  is the responsibility of parents on their daughter that shifts to the husband, their rights on their daughter still remains intact.

@usiski

can u please tell me, how to offer the 5 daily salah according to the quran?

Sorry moderators, for the deviation.

mukina2:
na wa . .

wats up, mukina? why are u wa-ing my post.

You know in Islam, we dont just make statements and assertions, especially on religious matters. It has to be based on the Quran, sayings of the Prophet (saw) or scholarly opinions, in that order.
So I have my reasons for asking.

Tanx, Lagosboy, your contribution is appreciated.

I had to ask the question because some groups who wear the black-black, blue-blue like u mentioned see those who don't dress as such as being of lesser eeman and I continue to wonde if this should be so. i wish i could get a statement from one of the well known scholars on this issue.

@mukina

I do not agree that it has to do with personal choice. In Islam, we don't apply personal choices where a matter of the deen is clearly stated. For example, chapter 33:59 and 24:31of the Quran states clearly that a muslim woman MUST wear the hijab when going out. I'm not in doubt about that.

What I really want to know is if it's permissible to wear clothings of bright colours and with designs on them e.g, lace and ankra materials or guinea brocade as outer garments.

Asalam alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatuh.

Jazakumullah khayran to the brothers and sisters who have kept this section alive all these while.

My question is this: There's no dispute on the manner of the muslimah's dressing as regards where to cover i.e the whole body except the face and hands (and these too can be covered optionally). But how about the types of outer clothing worn? Is it compulsory that it be plain and of dull colours? I've once asked a munaqqabah during a lecture I attended and she said, yes, it has to be black, I asked why and she said so as to repel men. Well, i didn't agree with her because i asked for her evidence and she couldn't give me one.

So brothers, sisters, if a sister dresses up properly, covering all parts in good clothing, I mean, not transparent, light, tight etc but having some designs on it, for example, ankra or lace or some ready made gowns, is there any sin on her? Do the clothes have to be dark and plain?

I'd appreciate answers with sahih evidences.

I have friends who are allergic to meet. they let all their friends know of their allergies and no one disturbs them with meat. not eating meat isnt a big deal at all. A lot ofpeople don't eat meat and no one disturbs them for that.

wa alaykum salam warahmatullah wabarakatuh. Eid mubarak mubarak, all.

It's been so long I visited Nairaland that i didn't even know that jarus is now the moderator.

i have a qst pls. If one is in a town where onky the Ahmadiyyah group offer the eid prayer, can one pray behind them? Please note that many circumstances prevent this person from travelling to th net town to pray.

jazakumullah khayran. I'd appreciate answers with evidences.

we need to be able to know the difference between the real gold and the golden colour. there are lots of things with golden colours that are not made from gold.

I've not been to any of the aforementioned mosques.Tthose who go there should try to clarify if what they see is gold or golden colour.

I think it's makrooh (disliked/discouraged) to decorate a mosque with real gold. i'm not so sure though. I'll try and find the evidence for/against that. i shall get back, insha Allah.

Please is there anyone in the house who is presently in UNILAG for masters programme, M.A. English and Msc Engineering particularly? All efforts to get the past questions in the SPGS and even the respective departments seem futile.

Please does anyone have any idea the kind of questions been asked, I mean areas of gyration

Thanks in advance.