₦airaland Forum

The challenges I faced when in service are:

1. Hijab- They insisted we wore white/off-white hijabs throughout service year (I served in Lagos, don't know about other states). They didn't specify the size so if you wear the long one, you can still sew it your normal size.

2. Trousers: They'll want you to be fully kitted all the time, with trousers and all. I went to the camp with a skirt sewn in the material of the NYSC uniform:khaki. So I used to wear the trousers under the long skirt. But you can't wear this to the parade ground. You'll be asked to pull it.

3. Parade: Because one has to be fully kitted for the parade, I never went to the parade ground for parades. I didn't even like all those free-mixing anyway. So, I used to find my way around.

4. Early morning exercise in white shorts: This is about the worst of them all. I can't imagine myself in those pants in public even if I'm not a Muslimah. And white all-revealing T-shirt that goes with it. Of course, I never wore them on camp. I found my way around this too. A lot of people did, even males and some non-muslims didn't wear them there. When you get there, you'll always find a way out.

5. PPA: You should look for a suitable place to do your primary assignment (PPA) even before going to the camp. You just get an offer letter from this place and present it when they're doing the placements. It'll only make things easier for them, and on your own part, you'll not go through the stress of being rejected by where you're posted later on.

6. Community Development Programmes: You'll be going for CD once in a week in the LGA where you're doing your PA. Pray for a pleasant zonal inspector. The Z.I.s are mostly females and some of them could be really tough, especially on sisters.

I was lucky I had a very pleasant Z.I. I wore my NYSC skirt (the one I made myself) throughout the year with my full white hijab. Initially, she complained but I won her over by my punctuality and always-ready-to-work attitude. People had told me they won't accept my size of hijab and skirt but I proved them wrong. But then, I always wore the trousers under in case of external inspectors. Not that I pulled my skirt when they came, No. I only show them the tip of my trousers when they wanted to fuss that I altered their uniform.

7. Pregnancy and breastfeeding: Then, pregnancy and breastfeeding women weren't allowed to serve though some still managed to sneak in. But now, it's a whole lot better. They not only admit them but also make special provisions for them.

So you see, it really depends on you and what your resolve is. It's human beings you are going to meet there so there's no need to panic over anything. If you break human conventions to obey God, He'll always make things easy for you.

If there's any area I've not touched, please ask. I'll answer if I can.

I wish you the best.

Is it strictly Nairalanders or can we bring others in?

uplawal:
@zayhal,javalove is serious o,he needs a good muslim lady for a wife

Oh, ok. We'll pray for him.

Jarus:
I got this from a concerned brother, and after making independent investigation to confirm it's not a fraud, I spoke with the brother and confirmed. Please let's donate whatever we can to this afflicted brother through the bank accounts in the mail. Let's remember this is Ramadan, and an opportunity to earn mltiple rewards. I'm leading the way insha Allah, by dropping my peanut in his GTB a/c today insha Allah. No amount is too small: 1k, 2k, 3k, 5k, 50k or more!

You're right Jarus. It's not a fraud. I'm aware of his case.

javalove:
E ba mi wa iyawo ooooo Mr Moderator. . .lol

Ramadan Kareem



#Javalove. . .unless otherwise stated. . .!

You're not serious.

mybad:
Besides, training the body and soul in the month of Ramadan, the Muslim also tends to show gratitude to Allah in his acts of Ibadah, in humility and in modesty.
Lowering his gaze and guarding his speech at all times.

It's not just abstaining from food or water that validates the fast, the iman that makes a Muslim observe the fast,perform all the obligatory prayers at their appointed time with all sincerity is what earns the blessings of Allah.

Asalam alaykum brother. Quite an age. How are you?

Ramadhan kareem.

tomelistic:
."[Sahih Bukhari: Volume 3, Book 31, Number 120]





Narrated Abu Huraira:

Allah's Apostle said, "Allah said, 'All the deeds of Adam's sons (people) are for them, except fasting which is for Me, and I will give the reward for it.' Fasting is a shield or protection from the fire and from committing sins. If one of you is fasting, he should avoid sexual relation with his wife and quarreling, and if somebody should fight or quarrel with him, he should say, 'I am fasting.' By Him in Whose Hands my soul is' The unpleasant smell coming out from the mouth of a fasting person is better in the sight of Allah than the smell of musk. There are two pleasures for the fasting person, one at the time of breaking his fast, and the other at the time when he will meet his Lord; then he will be pleased because of his fasting."
[Sahih Bukhari: Volume 3, Book 31, Number 128]




lol, wat happened to someone who never had opportunity of fasting all his life until death, wen they call those that fasted to enter through d kind gate, will he stand up too or is there another gate for such person?

'if somebody should fight or quarrel with him, he should say, 'I am fasting' did allah really say that? jezzzz so other days if sombody should fight or quarell with u, finish the person afterall your nt fasting. God wat kind of unbalanced religion is this, do u guys really ask questions about some rules in your religion for Gods sake. all the best shaa. lol

The month of Ramadhan is to train the body and soul, among other things. So if a person could refrain from fighting, cursing etc for a full month, it is hoped that such person imbibes that attitude throughout the year till another holy month comes for him to recharge.

Islam is a perfect and perfected religion.

And by the way, john, get off here. You're off topic. Moderator!

Dad's been pestering me to bring him home, so that Sunday morning, I just walked up to him and told him I was bringing home the person I intended marrying. He was beside himself with joy. he was so happy I pitied him.

Two hours later, my spouse was seated in the living room with my dad. It was mutual love at 1st site for both of them. It remained so till he (my dad) passed on.

She should go back to he first husband after delivery. That's her real love. She only married the second one to console herself and keep life going.

Reading this for the upteenth time. These people are making the interesting story a bore! someone even gave me his script to help him edit, and lo and behold! it's this same story in script form(meant to be acted out in a film). Do we call that plagiarism?

Ujujoan:
Maybe you should have searched before posting this . . . . Again!

Be yourself

Work is definitely pro-family. What will n you live on if you're not working?

What needs to be done is striking a balance between worktime and family time.

abulbanaat:
No, no; he should rather stay in Saudi and learn the religion more and be a better Muslim. He has had enough of boxing stuff. No good Muslim should be a professional boxer. I mean a boxer that fights in a gambling bout and causes injury to others unnecessarily and unjustifiably. He can be a private boxer for self-defence and Jihaad as the case may be.

Yes, I said Jihaad!

seconded!

javalove:
Salam Alykun

JARUS. . .this is ojoro oooo. . .let som1 else benefit from the reward of hostinf jare. . .lol

I wont be able to make it cos I'm now in Ethiopia working with the AU.

If I was around, I would have hosted you all to a buffet. . .

Last year was fun and I hope this year will be even more.

may Allah preserve our lives till then and beyond.

If any form of assistance is needed, please e so fun mi. . .

Salam Alykun


#Javalove. . .unless otherwise stated. . .!

Haba java, Jarus only picked ONE day out of 30/29days now. We still have several days to benefit from, not so?

valacious:
Its funny, but when my Dad has money he starts speaking American english you can hardly understand, he orders that pounded yam be prepared and he occasionally rubs his belly, that immediately is an indication to start behaving properly if you need anything.
Dont know about folks out there, but am sure dad's have peculiar way of behaving when some money enters their coffers. Share your experience.

LOL. really funny.

My dad would give out money to all poor people in our street. Pay for anything anyone bought in his presence, took us out to amusement parks. In short, anyone who came around him'd know he had it at that time because they'd definitely get a share.

mutter:
@ Adetoru.
My husband is 6 years older than I too and a few months older than my first brother.
Now growing up my brother appeared so muuchhhhh older than I and I would never talk to him as if we were mates.
I also put that into consideration with my husband.
I mean not only is he my husband but also the age gap needs to be respected.

well said.

All these talks about equality only ruin the home.

yes the child could be named immediately after birth. It's not wrong also, to wait till 7days before naming the child. The Prophet (saw) practised both.

But the shaving of the hair and killing a ram should be on the seventh day.

And Allah knows best.

chakula:
Salam,

As the holy Month of Ramadan approaching may Allah Almighty see our life into it.May He increase us in Iman and good deeds, then accept same from us.May this Ramadan be the best for us than we ever had in the past.

Juma'atul Kareem.

Aamin. Barka jum'a all.

Aloy_Emeka:
Corrected. I didn't know it matters. Is there any verse in the quran that obligates us to start Allah's name with a capital letter or is it a formulated idea?. Do you stress the capital A while pronouncing it too?

Even a child knows that the spelling of proper nouns are started with capital letters. Hypocrisy.

ok. I get it. But it still depends on the individuals, situation that warranted the statement.

OAM4J:
'your father is strong and handsome' is not same as 'your father is stronger and more handsome than you' why the comparison if it is a compliment?

Also 'your mum is youthful and beautiful' is not same as 'your mum looks more youthful and more beautiful than you', how will you feel with your hubby always telling you the later? happy? I dont think so.

a cousin had the same condition. Tried everything, different soaps, dettol etc. No changes. Miraculously, it stopped when she stopped using sponge to bath. Now, for the past 5years, she's bathed with any kind of soap, warm and cold water, and she's fine, no itching. You may want to try that. Jut do away with the sponge and see what happens.

Ujujoan:
Divorce!!

You only get to live once. Why waste it unhappy? 

spoke my mind

poster,

don't listen to those comments above. Your girlfriend's statement was just a compliment. My father-in-law is almost 100 and the first time I saw him, I told hubby he has a very strong and handsome father. Hubby appreciated my compliment and that was all.

Till date, my hubby still comments on how youthful and beautiful my mum is. So I should go hit my head on the rock because of that? or accuse him of saying my mum is more beautiful than me?

Some people need some growing up to do, really.

Congrats!

But why tell the world first before telling your hubby?

Most of the things you listed there have to do with finances. A lot of women pay bills and do much more than that, and they don't whine about. Getting pregnant, breastfeeding, child upbringing, the list is endless. Women do everything gracefully and do not even see them as duties.

Each gender has a role to play to maintain a balanced society.

Definitely not

muhsin:
Does that really mark her as a Prophet? No.

Yorubas will say "Do not perceive what you do not intend to eat". Hardly will you find a man who will pass the test of having an attractive young woman around him all the time and not falling for her, in lust I mean.

The girl is too close to the family. Let her go!

The girl is silly! The wife is sillier!! The man is the silliest of them all!!!

Belated barka jum'a, brothers and sisters!

okunola1:
I had to hold myself from throwing up as i read this piece.  Really it would had made a master peice but i just could not read it to the end because i found it impossible.  You make it look as if it is a man thing.  My believe is that the problem in marriage starts with the woman.  You can never predict them.  When you are dating, she is so pleasant, always careful not to offend you, she cleans up your house, would even go to the extent of washing your clothes, would want to impress you with her wonderful cooking.  She will always seek advice from you and what so ever you say on an issue is law and is final.  Your family would be her best friends.  Two months after marriage, she suddenly realizes that she is not a slave and can't be doing all the cooking and cleaning of the house.  She can't wash your clothes any more, she wonders why she would have to do all the cooking and washing the dishes and you sit in front of the television with a bottle of beer. (formerly even if you offered to help in the kitchen, she would politely turn you down.). She complains about everything.  Your family becomes a  problem (be careful before your mother turns out to be a witch). If you work late, you have gone to visit another woman.  You don't have right to have a lady friend, you are not even permitted to gist with the ladies in your office. Though she will have male friends, her old school mates will call her to chat with her, her colleagues will buy her lunch and even dinner attimes, he will even drop her home.
If you as a man dare, buy lunch for a colleague; my God you better not sleep home that day because it would be better to get yourself locked up in kirikiri. If you must offer left to anyone, let it not be a woman alone.  if there must be a woman among the list, she must not sit in front of the car.  Your advice turns to stupidity that is if you are even allowed to render some.  She preffers to take advice from her friends and will promptly contest any decision you take concerning the home.  Nothing you say is good.  You say black, she says you should had said white.  Next time to please her you say it is white and what do you get "the white did not come from your mind" you are not being sincere.  you are right, she gets angry and you beg. It takes a week to get over that one.  She is right, you say sorry and beg, it only God know how that will end. No matter who is at fault, it is always the man's fault.  They never accept their faults.  They are always right (I too Know). They want to boss over you but who not take it if you try to boss over them.

You will find life so frustrating because you find yourself doing everything to please a woman but they are insatiable.  Most men end up in the beer parlours trying to find solance. Most will probably die at age 50-60 because they are not happy inside.  I believe the home determines how long a man will live. A happy marriage will get you to 80-100 and above, a sad one ends you premature.  Every man wants a happy home, but how to find the right woman to make that home happy becomes a problem.  I must confess that there is no right woman.  those men running from one woman after the other waste their time because they are all made of the same stuff.  No two women are mentally different.  They all think the same way.  Academically you may find some difference, but when it comes to reasoning: They follow the same sad fashion. So just try as much as possible to patch up with the one you have, you can get it better.  It would be silly to break up with her afterall someone needs to bear the children unless you can find another way to bring them into the world.  That is all they are really useful for.

In conclusion: If you a man wants to be happy, the only way is to try as much as possible to produce a child or two during the first three years of marriage and pour your love on your child.  Let it be your consellation and let it give you happiness.  Spend as much time as you can with it and mould it in the way you always dreamt of for your child.  The child you can mould, not a woman. That is the only source of true happiness. You can't get that from a woman, no matter how much love you pour into her. She will still be a woman. In my silent hours i sometimes wonder if eating the forbidden fruit was the original sin, because I wonder what Adam must had done for God to had given him a woman as companion.

Do you have to spread a bad experience. YOu sound like someone who's really had it tough. If it didn't work for you, does it have to be like that for others too?

The poster has written something reasonable and quite educating. Learn from it.

Aqeeqah is done on the 7th day after a child is born( 0r 14th or 21st day if the 7th day isn't convenient due to one reason or the other). The day is counted if it is before maghrib, that is, if a child is born on a Sunday after maghrib, it is regarded that the child is born on Monday and the naming will be the following sunday but if it is before maghrib, then it is Sunday and the aqeeqah is done on the following Saturday.

There is this good book on aqeeqah, can't remember the name now, that's what I consult.

Whose definition is that?

The name 'alagbara omi' itself is enough reason to be wary of the guy. I doubt if any ahl-us-sunnah'd call himself that. Does he use water to perform 'miracles'?