₦airaland Forum

@Deols
I think this should also be discussed on this thread: https://www.nairaland.com/185574/how-much-woman-should-man/2

Maclatunji, I told you before not all questions are polar. Answering a 'yes' or a 'no' may not represent what one intends to say at all. So leave that angle.

Now, a couple who has a good relationship going for them and have always communicated well, I doubt will have the kind of problematic scenario you painted above. MIT or Havard. They'll both take a pncil and paper and list the advantages and disadvantages in the child attending either. The child too should be brought in to have a say. At the end of the day, a suitable choice is most likely to be made based on the pros and cons they've highlighted.

But if husband commander-in-chief has the rigid mindset that whatever happens, it has to be his way or the highway then that marriage has got a big big problem. Wisdom is very important in applying rules and laws.

Stop appearing impossible.

Trustworthiness/faithfulness.

hadbak: @zay- what is it u didn't get from d message? d muslim woman's way according to the sharee'ah @Tbaba- Everyone knows that..this is for d muslima as d topic stated, n not for d muslim man.

Sorry. When I saw 'the muslimah's perspective' I was expecting to read a practical scenario, how a muslimah feels towards beautifying herself for her husband, or certain women's perspective towards the injunction.

Do you understand?

And btw, is hadbak not female?

hadbak: @zay- what is it u didn't get from d message? d muslim woman's way according to the sharee'ah @Tbaba- Everyone knows that..this is for d muslima as d topic stated, n not for d muslim man.

Sorry. When I saw 'the muslimah's perspective' I was expecting to read a practical scenario, how a muslimah feels towards beautifying herself for her husband, or certain women's perspective towards the injunction.

Do you understand?

Which intricate web did I construct?

You can not get a 'yes' or 'No' answer to issues such as this. There is no contention in the headship of the man in the house. And I as a muslimah would be failing in my duty if I don't respect, obey and support the headship of my husband in every way possible. But I'd still see it as out of my place if the man of the house capitalises on quranic verses that say he's the head and thus becomes a dictator.
Oga Mac, will you answer my question now? Or I have still not satisfied your 'condition' for answering?

If she locks her door, MIL will bang it till she opens and if she doesn't open, she'll be committing more crimes.

@op
It seems you live in your husbandks family house. If that's the case, then I'm sorry to tell you that you'll have to continue to endure it all. It may not end anytime soon. It can only get worse. You and your hubby should get your own space.

I feel it "out of place" if a husband just hands down orders to his wife and this is my understanding of the "command" here.

"Get me my food"
"You must not go out today!"
"My friend will be passing the night with us today, go on and tidy the guest room quickly beefore he arrives!"
"What's this you're wearing? Go and put on something better, my friend!"

And on and on. Yes, I find these out of place in a marital relationship.

Op how's this from a muslimah's perspective?

@maclatunji
Do/would you feel comfortable commanding your wife?

Big jay: there i

Big jay:
there is luth/cmul muslim comunity staff sch at. Idi_araba also dere is darulislam at idi oro

s luth/cmul muslim comunity staff sch at. Idi_araba also dere is darulislam at idi oro

Thanks.

*Thinking* how time flies.

If you don't eat it means you're not hungry. I won't bother my head about it. If you do so consistently, I'll stop cooking for you. You can go into the kitchen yourself.

The only person I'll worry about not eating is my hubby. But for the kids, I'll gladly sit back and let them cook their meals. I'll even eat from their cooking. Why should I worry that my child isn't eating? When you're not a baby.

If my son is old enough to us the internet then he's old enough to take care of his meals. Shikena

The new excuse I hear schools giving is that they want to teach ahead. By th time you tell them you kid is bright enough and does not need extra classes, that you're there to always do homework with them... And debunk all other reasons they give. They've come up with this new one: teaching kids ahead i.e the work they'll do in class next week would be taught during the extra class this week.

Now is this necessary? Isn't this overloading and even confusing these kid? It's even a disadvantage to average or slow learner kids. A child that is still struggling to grasp what is taught in the morning is faced with something entirely new in the extra class.
Schools are stopping at nothing to exploit parents in the name of extra lessons. SMH

Its refreshing to see a caring man like you on NL. Lol. Let's look at it from this angle. How long have you been married? Are you trying for a child yet? Are family members already asking your wife if she's pregnant yet? You know Nigerians, once you're married they want to come and celebrate baby birth in 9months. If all these are already happening, it may upset your wife each time she sees her period, especially if she and/or you too are eager for her to be pregnant.

@MMotimo

It wasn't a coincidence at all. Every pair consisted of a male and female, primary school kids. I don't think it's right for me to mention the name of the school here but I can very well give you in a PM if you're so interested. I wouldn't blame the schools engaging in these things much sha. It is the parents who endorse all these things for them without raising an eyebrow. Like the mother I said I spoke with regarding the school, she was talking to me as if she had no choice but to buy the card and gift the school asked her daughter to buy.

The society is highly sexed borrowing someone's language here. It is on this nairaland I read a guy proudly saying that he's been sexually active since his primary school days. You'd be surprised at how much these kids know these days. It's better to face reality and have a grasp of the situation rather than regret later.

@Baby123
It's happening here o and very common too.

Some schools actually teach romance! I passed by a school yesterday and saw the kids all dressed in red/white. They sat on the floor of the school compound in pairs, a boy and a girl. Some held flowers, some were kind of playing with sand (I'm not sure) and some were just talking and playing.

Why pair them up as such? What lesson exactly is that school teaching the kids? That val's day is a day to show love to the opposite sex?

Towards evening, I saw a parent of a child attending the school and told her what I saw earlier. She went on to tell me that her daughter was even told to bring a card and gift for the boy chosen for her as her val.

Do we have to go to this extent?

For those claiming it is to teach kids love, do we have to wait till val's day before teaching them love? Is wearing red and white and exchanging gift with the opposite sex the way to teach it? Let's not deceive ourselves.

I SMH for the next generation.

Jum'ah mubarak brothers and sisters.

It's been quiet around here. Why?

Good one babe. *following*

I'm not sure I'll be able to participate, but if I do, I'll go for Mu'adh ibn Jabal.

~Sissy~:
Interesting article

Do You Have a Favorite Kid? You Should Read This

http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/do-you-have-a-favorite-kid--you-should-read-this-185020308.html

IMO these kinds of mentality are more common with kids in the west and rarely affect Nigerian kids. I don't think a favourite kid thing poses much problem to Nigerian families. What I'm familiar with is that even the other kids in the family tease the favourite one with 'omo daddy' 'omo mummy' with no hard feelings. It is the favourite kid that stands the risk of becoming a spoilt.

But then, moderation is the key. At times, loving one child more than the others can't be helped but the parents must do it moderately and not make the others feel less important.

Is this story true? What's the source please?

@tbaba ok.

@hadbak. Alright, thanks for sharing jare.

Inspiring. Congrats to the couple.

Very interesting to say the least. I especially love the end rhyme scheme.

Hadbak, did you compose that?

^^ you said a few posts ago that you're married?

deols: the issue of marriage contracts? I am not done with it





btw, when this thread reaches a 100 pages, there should be celebration or what d'u think

Bring it on. Let's tackle it together.

talking about pages, I was amazed at the rate the AFCON thread was growing yesterday. Reached almost a 100 pages within the space of two hours or thereabout.
So what are going to celebrate this one with when it gets to 100? Me likey celebration o.

The act isn't an Islamic practise. For rights of widows check surah Nisai

^^^

... Ranting with a lot of sense in it. I feel you!

Op clap for yourself

May Allah grant her rest in the grave and jannah in the hereafter.

Tbaba was right o Mac. For those who go out to watch matches, they may want to get there on time in order to secure front seats and hence miss the salah.

As for me not been current *lips sealed*

And btw, naija won. So it's all good.