CFCfan: Some of those Naija men that come home to marry, usually do so out of frustration. They may have been 'toasting' some Naija girls abroad who have been rejecting them because the men were not their 'types'.

In other words, some Naija men based abroad feel that Naija girls, who live in Nigeria, are less picky than their abroad-based counterparts.

Anyway, on the subject of submissiveness, some Caucasian men here in the US are into "mail order brides". These 'brides' are usually women living in Russia, who are courted and receive marriage proposals online. The White guys believe that these Russian ladies are more submissive than their American women.

Nah. Have you seen the men who do the mail order bride thingy? They are usually ugly, fat couch potatoes who are too old to pick up young decent girls here. So they prey on foreign brides who will do anything for,the chance to come live in America. Many of them end up in prison for murder.

My own thoughts... Why don't Nigerian men try foreign girls where they live? In my own experience, a good girl is a good girl regardless of color and nationality. My woman wakes up at 5 in the morning to get me Naija pancakes piping hot. She has the same qualities and more that I hear must be exclusive to the home based Nigerian woman. I wouldn't trade her for any Naija woman. Thanks.

Same reason why there are many divorced cases abroad

Don Oms:
Don't mind that I quoted you. I just love it when people with correct brain comment.

it's in d DNA of 9ja men! after feaking 6yearz meeting with different race cant still find my match..i Fking going bak to naija to benddown and select

lorretta u: Might be a generalization,but has anyone else noticed such too?
I wonder if there's anything wrong with Nigerian women abroad. The men keep trooping home to marry.Many ladies I know who got married recently married men that came from abroad.
I asked one ersthwhile suitor why he wanted to marry me even though he didn't know me well enough. He said:
''no matter how you are,as long as you were raised in a Nigerian home,you can't be as bad as the girls over here. You need to see what they are doing. None of them is wife material. They can't cook, disrespectful, wild, unsubmissive , bla bla bla.''

That's unfair!
Imagine being on the phone with my girlfriend that lives in UK next thing she says:
'LoLo I'm coming back finally'
And I'm like
'why?'
Hmm- she exhales
'There are no husbands here. I'll come back when I'm married'
is it that bad?
Guys abroad over to you. What's your complaint? Let's settle this matter once and for all

A lot of Nigerian girls abroad (who came here at tender ages) are like this... But there are a few good eggs tho, we guys can't all fight for the good ones so the unlucky dudes come home to marry

What I learnt this past weekend has changed my perspective on Naija girls here: Some are good, most cannot be redeemed

sexkillz: I noticed that too. And it hardly goes down well, in my opinion.

Why is because those men want someone they can easily control. "sit down here and don't move" and she obeys. The girls there are deemed unsubmissive, and independent. That independence factor drives them nuts. The ladies know better, and know what respect from a man means and would not tolerate trampling on what they perceive to be their fundamental human rights. The men that think this way are usually selfish and egotistical although they might not show it. They think only about how they'll benefit from a "tamed" and "naïve" home grown lady. Now, he's coming home to look for a wife, but he has forgotten now that because he lives abroad, it'll be very difficult to find a lady who loves him for love and not for his money or his "abroadness".

He meets a girl who puts on her best behaviour because, all she can see is her prospects of going abroad.. She is also selfish in this regard and will not show it. When they finally get married and she leaves Nigeria, and the euphoria of getting abroad wears off, you see this same lady displaying her real color. Now she also wants to be independent after her eye don open and she don see as e dey go. The man will see her as unsubmissive and rude and now he is back to where he started from, if not worse.

The devil you know is better than the angel you do not know. Most of those girls they eventually marry are people who were recommended for them, and in most cases, the ones doing the recommending are in cahoots with the lady to dupe them. A lot of negative stories abound. . . There's a lot of eye-shining to be done.

Broda sexkillz, you need to see the rubbish some Naija girls here do....

I forsee some ladies printing 'biz card' and distributing same at airports to all young men arriving the country.
guess the content of the card....







'GRAB YOUR COPY.'
consult us for serious life partner, we recruit, hookup and joins.
....you'll be glad you did.
call 070-806-04008, 08050180777

lorretta u: Preach it sister

Just about any thing that paint the man black and makes the woman appeared victim lightens you. So domineering!

kpolli:

A lot of Nigerian girls abroad (who came here at tender ages) are like this... But there are a few good eggs tho, we guys can't all fight for the good ones so the unlucky dudes come home to marry

What I learnt this past weekend has changed my perspective on Naija girls here: Some are good, most cannot be redeemed



Broda sexkillz, you need to see the rubbish some Naija girls here do....

Dude give us the low down

lorretta u: I'm a Nigerian girl born and raised in Nigeria
I'm going to have a court wedding.
That's not peculiar to foreigners alone

Hahaha, loritta is finally getting married. Seriously, i was thinking you had forfeited marriage seeing how vocal, hard and unassuming you 've been with men on this forum. Hope your man has lots of patience to take such craps you throw at us. Well, you are my sister, i wish you the best, but hey, pipe down, after all, you are still a woman.

GoodFaith:
Dude give us the low down

Let's just say, with every girl out there (home and abroad)... Be careful around them

kpolli:

Let's just say, with every girl out there (home and abroad)... Be careful around them

Dude I know better
I hate to hear from men that they gave their phone number to girls back home after their visit

Mikhaela:

I absolutely agree. Compromising comes with the package obviously but I'm not going to change who I am, that's how things become uncomfortable. What I meant to say was that it's very easy to have a negative idea of Africans who did not live the typical African life. It's not because I don't cook or whatnot that I'm not "wife material" or "wayward" as you may put it. Cooking, dialects and others in my opinion should be considered as assets (I'm not sure if that's the correct word, my English is not so good anymore) rather than deal breakers.

Ma'am, people marry across languages. But not many men would care to cook for the family or always buy their food from restaurants. Some men love to cook and will but it is always an unusual thing to find a man cooking for his family as though that is his place. That he does it to help his wife who normally does the cooking is a charming thing, that he does it because she can't is a little bit of a shame.

Even though I said that men marry across languages, people need to communicate and some people like to perpetuate their cultural heritage. Personally I would marry a Chinese if I fell in love with one and learn Mandarin even. But I'd teach her Igbo and bring her home. Some men might not do that or care about it. Others might. In that particular issue, it could be a deal breaker or it could not and it's up to you to decide whether it is or not through your choice of men.

As for "others", me I don't know. But a coarse, aggressive woman is a terrible wife to have. Nobody has proved that wrong to me yet.

From my experience, there simply are not many women of nigerian descent to go round. For every single girl that's ready for marriage, you ve got close to 50 guys who are ready and willing. A few, 20 say, may marry non Nigerians and nigerian women here. It is only natural that the remaining 30 will go home to get their spouses.

Guys ain't gonna marry any woman just because she's nigerian. Remember, you ve got more girls back home than out here. Chances of getting a better woman is higher in naija. That's common sense.

I am a living example. I came home and got married to a most wonderful woman. I adore her. She is every man's dream. We are happy.

Our girls here are hustlers, just like the guys. Remember they are here on their own and are going through all hurdles on their own. They are used to being on their own and calling the shots. So it is not exactly what people think it is. There are some amazing ones. My boy is married to one. I also met one but it was a month after I met my wife. She was unlucky! Lol.

One of my funny cousins once said that, "marriage is better in vernacular". Culture and view points are very strong indices in marriage. I suggest you marry from your tribe. If possible from your locality. It has more advantages than disadvantages.

davidylan:
Nah. Have you seen the men who do the mail order bride thingy? They are usually ugly, fat couch potatoes who are too old to pick up young decent girls here. So they prey on foreign brides who will do anything for,the chance to come live in America. Many of them end up in prison for murder.
My own thoughts... Why don't Nigerian men try foreign girls where they live? In my own experience, a good girl is a good girl regardless of color and nationality. My woman wakes up at 5 in the morning to get me Naija pancakes piping hot. She has the same qualities and more that I hear must be exclusive to the home based Nigerian woman. I wouldn't trade her for any Naija woman. Thanks.

Saying it as it is as usual Davidylan. I really don't get these men that say they need to go back to Nigeria to look for brides. There are enough decent brides where they are at to be honest.They just have to look in the right places. Its just a load of nonsense. The exception of course is if they've had prior relationship with the lady back home. But there is little logic in picking up a packaged bride from the village.

ontarian: From my experience, there simply are not many women of nigerian descent to go round. For every single girl that's ready for marriage, you ve got close to 50 guys who are ready and willing. A few, 20 say, may marry non Nigerians and nigerian women here. It is only natural that the remaining 30 will go home to get their spouses.

Guys ain't gonna marry any woman just because she's nigerian. Remember, you ve got more girls back home than out here. Chances of getting a better woman is higher in naija. That's common sense.

I am a living example. I came home and got married to a most wonderful woman. I adore her. She is every man's dream. We are happy.

Our girls here are hustlers, just like the guys. Remember they are here on their own and are going through all hurdles on their own. They are used to being on their own and calling the shots. So it is not exactly what people think it is. There are some amazing ones. My boy is married to one. I also met one but it was a month after I met my wife. She was unlucky! Lol.

One of my funny cousins once said that, "marriage is better in vernacular". Culture and view points are very strong indices in marriage. I suggest you marry from your tribe. If possible from your locality. It has more advantages than disadvantages.

Marry somebody that is caring, loving, considerate, respectful
Somebody that will make his/her marriage a top priority over other things
The reason lot of Nigerians are having issue in their marriage is because they want a man/woman from their tribe

This kind of stuff really annoys me. People seem to expect that you'll live in a Western country and retain/have 100% Nigerian culture. Erm no, it doesn't work like that. I live in the UK so naturally in some aspects I've been westernized and I make no apologies for that. There are good and bad parts in every culture and it's up to you to do away with it. I'm also very much in touch with my Nigerian roots and I'm learning more everyday. Girls here are not bad, you get a few bad ones like you do everywhere else. Generalizations cannot just be made. For a long time I said I would NEVER marry a Nigerian guy that lives in Nigeria-cultures would be too different. Now however I am open to it.

Roda94: This kind of stuff really annoys me. People seem to expect that you'll live in a Western country and retain/have 100% Nigerian culture. Erm no, it doesn't work like that. I live in the UK so naturally in some aspects I've been westernized and I make no apologies for that. There are good and bad parts in every culture and it's up to you to do away with it. I'm also very much in touch with my Nigerian roots and I'm learning more everyday. Girls here are not bad, you get a few bad ones like you do everywhere else. Generalizations cannot just be made. For a long time I said I would NEVER marry a Nigerian guy that lives in Nigeria-cultures would be too different. Now however I am open to it.

Why are you now opened to it
I have always felt the same way that I will never go to Nigeria to get marry
It sound like you have a balance between the Nigerian culture and the European culture
Lot of Nigerian women want to be a European today and Nigerian tomorrow

GoodFaith:
Dude I know better
I hate to hear from men that they gave their phone number to girls back home after their visit

As a guy said recently, he would rather marry a girl who has a past but the past doesn't clash with people around him....
Probably that's why guys run back home to marry.... Cos all women have a past... Except you're chasing a 16yr old

One prominent issue I have with Nigerian sisters living in the states is that they'd become more Roman than the emperor, they suddenly become more American than those born here...don't get me wrong there are still some who still cherish values assimilated from home, but they are very rare.

It's a matter of choice like I always say...

[color=#550000][/color]. American born naija bitches are ugly ,rude and overweight so coming home is not a bad idea for anybody

Do you have a problem with me?
How does her post paint men black? Or rather doesn't it educate ppl to mind who they chose as life partners. And I endorsed it
Must everything turn to sexist fight with u ppl?
When I was liking and commenting on the posts of ogugua n co who said ladies over there need to improve I didn't see u say anything
Pls just stop the bigotry already. Mtchew.

Lordlexyy: Just about any thing that paint the man black and makes the woman appeared victim lightens you. So domineering!

GoodFaith:
Why are you now opened to it
I have always felt the same way that I will never go to Nigeria to get marry
It sound like you have a balance between the Nigerian culture and the European culture
Lot of Nigerian women want to be a European today and Nigerian tomorrow

I'd put it down to me being childish. I now know better And yes those girls are annoying. Extremely so

You're just having guilty conscience that's all.I'm not hard on men
Vocal maybe.
What's 'unassuming?'I don't know what u mean by that.
I don't throw crap. I talk the truth but it hurts you and ur pals cos it doesn't massage ur ego. That's all
Thanks for the good wishes
Wish u same.

Lordlexyy: Hahaha, loritta is finally getting married. Seriously, i was thinking you had forfeited marriage seeing how vocal, hard and unassuming you 've been with men on this forum. Hope your man has lots of patience to take such craps you throw at us. Well, you are my sister, i wish you the best, but hey, pipe down, after all, you are still a woman.

Exactly my point

tensor777:
Saying it as it is as usual Davidylan. I really don't get these men that say they need to go back to Nigeria to look for brides. There are enough decent brides where they are at to be honest.They just have to look in the right places. Its just a load of nonsense. The exception of course is if they've had prior relationship with the lady back home. But there is little logic in picking up a packaged bride from the village.

GoodFaith:
Marry somebody that is caring, loving, considerate, respectful
Somebody that will make his/her marriage a top priority over other things
The reason lot of Nigerians are having issue in their marriage is because they want a man/woman from their tribe

My dear, you are talking to a guy who once thought that way more than you can imagine. I spent years with a sister from another African country. She was good. It ain't easy to cope with another culture. She understands simple things differently. There's always this idea that Nigerians think they are all that.

Take nairaland as an example. It is always tribal bashing. Nothing Yoruba is good to igbos. Everything Ibo is bad to the Yorubas. Then u bring in south and north. Hell is let loose.

I cry everyday I come to nairaland. I actually joined because I believe in the nigerian dream. There's this thing called multi-culturalism. I can be who I am as per tribe and still be a great member of the society anywhere I find myself.

I do not wanna speak a different language from my wife. There are some things you can't say in any other language than yours. Even the white women hate it when you are always speaking ur language with ur people. It is natural and easier to get along with families too. I have tried both. One is beter than the other.

That's not to say that the issues u raised are not important. They are actually more important than tribe and race. Good news is that they can all be found in one's people too.

[quote author=lorretta u]Exactly my point[/

If u were born in that culture or grew up there from an early age, then it is easier. When u grow up in naija and migrate as an adult, it is a different ball game.

You have a mental setting that is difficult to break. A man I know very well and closely didn't show up in church, one Sunday. Next one, I asked him why? His answer shook my very foundation.

He said his younger brother's wife just came back from naija and that she made a special naija dish that morning, so he had to go eat to his fill. He reminded me that his wife is jamo and can't cook our delicacies. You know what? They have been married for at least 25 yrs.

He has been abroad for at least 30 yrs. Wouldn't you think that after all these years, he will not be so into our local food? I would. And I did. Never underestimate the place of cultural values and ideals.

Topical. There is nothing generic about the trend. Most Nigerian Men and Women marry at their posts. You do not need to know someone intimately to have a good marriage. Marriage is about commitment and respect. All other benefits are directly derived from the trusts that emanates from the foregoing. However, there is a minority who prefer someone they can discus with about all things Nigeria. It is not necessarily tribal. Women in UK (but born and brought up in Nigeria) are aspirational and have attitude problem. They do not feel married to their partners because of the lack of extended family. It is like 'living with stranger' in your house. on the other hand those women born in the UK are suspicious of Nigerian men born in Nigeria after the bad press about '419', etc. All these breed lack of trust. Having said that, people should marry who and or wherever they chose. My take is that most of the people that marry 'across the seas' are making a mistake, because the culture difference is huge and may not be breached before the union founders.

I love this thread and I'm compelled to comment and share my experience....When i newly got to America, after just 3days i was introduced to a Nigerian girl who is a nurse here and apparently her sis in law who just came from Nigeria pittied her situation and decided to go husband hunting for her cos she was 29 at that time and i was 29 too.....We started talking on a very nice note and in 2days we were chatting like we have known for ages and already planning on how we wil meet cos she stays in another state....but along the line something changed and she will always find fault in anything i say and tell me I'm thinking and talking like a Nigerian and my attitude stinks.....something my girlfriend in Nigerian back then can never say...don't let me bore you with stories but all i can say is we didn't get along and she is so mannerless and this changed my orientation about Nigerian girls here and i can never marry any. My new gf is American and she treat me with respect

I imported my wife. She turned shakara momentarily but i showed her who the boss is, we are cool now. However on the hindsight, i could as well have married one of those i knew back in the US and we will still be ok. It all depends on the man- if a man can't handle a foreign based woman, he most likely wont be able to handle a village based woman.

stalliontp: I imported my wife. She turned shakara momentarily but i showed her who the boss is, we are cool now. However on the hindsight, i could as well have married one of those i knew back in the US and we will still be ok. It all depends on the man- if a man can't handle a foreign based woman, he most likely wont be able to handle a village based woman.

how did you show her

ontarian:

My dear, you are talking to a guy who once thought that way more than you can imagine. I spent years with a sister from another African country. She was good. It ain't easy to cope with another culture. She understands simple things differently. There's always this idea that Nigerians think they are all that.

Take nairaland as an example. It is always tribal bashing. Nothing Yoruba is good to igbos. Everything Ibo is bad to the Yorubas. Then u bring in south and north. Hell is let loose.

I cry everyday I come to nairaland. I actually joined because I believe in the nigerian dream. There's this thing called multi-culturalism. I can be who I am as per tribe and still be a great member of the society anywhere I find myself.

I do not wanna speak a different language from my wife. There are some things you can't say in any other language than yours. Even the white women hate it when you are always speaking ur language with ur people. It is natural and easier to get along with families too. I have tried both. One is beter than the other.

That's not to say that the issues u raised are not important. They are actually more important than tribe and race. Good news is that they can all be found in one's people too.

From your user name, I guess you from TO
I know that city very well
There are lot of people in that city over the year that don't share my value
There have be change over the last 10 years
80% of the men and women want the fast money
We all need to pray for happy marriage life
I am very close the the number of year that dude has lived oversea
Jamo women are very clean, they keep their house very clean compare to our people

..Am a plaYa...maybe I should come home and marry lightskin babe!