byvan: @ Pickabeau,.... but seriously lovers must be pleasers,th[b]ings go to hell when the relationship is one sided and you know most Naija marriages are one sided,The man poops,the woman eats=happy Naija marriage . My E personality is me,no alter ego. no be small oven dried spinster.A good man deserves a good woman,an evil genius deserves Ayamatanga(witch),that way,life is fair.

[/b]
Agreed

Effiwizzi: @ LORRETTA
LORETTA , this is strictly directed at you. i ve carefully read ur points all thru this topic.
you seem to be A VERY DOMMINEERING kind of woman. it pricks you so hard to hear of the word submission., Then you can go fight the almighty God if u r so pained.
Secondly, you are a real femmist and for you information, no one is contesting with you.
I HAVE NEVE HEARD YOU CONTESTING THE ISSUE OF THE MAN PROVIDING FOR HIS FAMILY and y it should be so when the woman is equally getting a pay cheque at the end of the day.
You so much stress on equality btw the man and the woman and it all sorrounds on the rights of the woman.
1. providering for her
2. opening the door for her
3. loving her
4. paying the childrens fees
5. providing the shelter
e.t.c
Y dont you see any reasons y the woman shudnt do this things.
The bible learly states that there is NO EQUALITY and that the man is the head of the family and if u have any issues with that, you can jump into the lagoon.

submisivness dosnt mean control i would love to answer your question here.
I quote you saying men are threatened by womens success hence they crave for their submission. I will recommed "THE MYTH OF SINGLENESS" for you to read.

STop misinforming good women.In any case, a womans submission shouldnt be dependent on any factor and including His loving you. you do it because God commanded it and the blessing comes from Him and not the man. He issued the command. and same to the male folk.

What is your definition of submission though? Very domineering men are not only in Africa, I can testify, haha. It's something that once lived (directly or indirectly) scares you off later on. I don't believe in God one bit but I absolutely agree that our sexes are not equal. We are only equal as human beings. I really can't imagine a 100 % equal relationship... and people often mix up equality and balance.

Anyhoo, what's your "definition" of submission?

Mikhaela:

What is your definition of submission though? Very domineering men are not only in Africa, I can testify, haha. It's something that once lived (directly or indirectly) scares you off later on. I don't believe in God one bit but I absolutely agree that our sexes are not equal. We are only equal as human beings. I really can't imagine a 100 % equal relationship... an[b]d people often mix up equality and balance.
[/b]
Anyhoo, what's your "definition" of submission?

Key word balance

lorretta u: being submissive doesn't mean you can't give and demand your own respect too.
Actually being submissive isn't the same as being easy to control. IMO

Did I hear you say "Demand"?
Like Sarah demanded from Father Abraham right?

uromi.com:
your answer is simple 99.9% of niaja girl in oversea are runz babe so who wan marry okpo as huz wife nobody

wow! loving your myopic generalization of 99.9% of overseas naija babes as runz girls.
You speak ignorantly and I hope that originates from your definition of a RUNZ girl. If you truly live abroad, you will know that

1. There's no free coffee over here, everyone pays pays their bills no matter how little u make.

2. Its easier for a naija based girl to depend sorely on numerous men to meet her needs than abroad based lady to depend on a man for upkeep.

3. A naija based man is likely to spend more on his naija based gurl than naija men over here. Truth is that by the time he's done with his bills, he's got nothing left to spare. And why would he be spending much seeing that his abroad based madam makes as much or even more than he does so where does the runz thing come in?

4. Naija women here are independent, educated and smart. am not saying that our counterparts in naija aren't, its just that things are seen from a different perspective and comes under continuous scrutiny.

5. The only reason u can ever mention Runz instead of failed relationships is because u haven't taken time to even define what RUNZ means and how it affects people in different geographical regions. over here people pay for their own meal even on a date. where in naija does a gurl pay for her meal on a date?

There's no runz here cos no one gives you free coffee when they know u can brew it yourself.

very few naija man wants equality, They must have some edge above a woman.
If being seen as a small god cos of the abroad thing, they would do it. what drives men is ego and everyman goes where its served him in quantum.
same way they say we are disrespectful, that's same way they curse out the ones back home. Defining them as hungry, materialistic, pretenders. most naja men go home just to sleep with naija babes and bring back trophies.
Truth is where u find the right partner, thats where u should be. Everything is easy hen u follow the right part. To each his own.

No matter how bad our ladies are, they are 80% better off, than their western counterpart. And most at times,you find out that the ones that has stayed a longer period of time in the western world, tend to copy the attitude of their western counterpart,thereby forgetting where they are coming from.

Mikhaela:
It was in regards to him pin pointing how the woman who could cook had a JOB and some bla bla degree.. So I said, I also know a woman who could cook and is a baby sitter and a high school drop out, forgot to mention that. Cooking has got nothing to do with leading a fulfilling life.

ok... but cooking and/or domesticated skills are really just one facet of a woman
she has more

byvan: @ Pickabeau,.... but seriously lovers must be pleasers,things go to hell when the relationship is one sided and you know most Naija marriages are one sided,The man poops,the woman eats=happy Naija marriage . My E personality is me,no alter ego. no be small oven dried spinster.A good man deserves a good woman,an evil genius deserves Ayamatanga(witch),that way,life is fair.

I agree.. but generalising as most is not totally true.. a large proportion but most is an exaggeration in my opinion
LOL @ ayamatanga... that ish was scary...

God help us

Hm... an objective female

Good to let your naija females know that white men also poop because to most of them whatever a white man does must be divine

second bolded.... are you sure you are a female
A female espousing non -equality of the sexes

Them gonna be set upon you,....

Mikhaela:

What is your definition of submission though? Very domineering men are not only in Africa, I can testify, haha. It's something that once lived (directly or indirectly) scares you off later on. I don't believe in God one bit but I absolutely agree that our sexes are not equal. We are only equal as human beings. I really can't imagine a 100 % equal relationship... and people often mix up equality and balance.

Anyhoo, what's your "definition" of submission?

pickabeau1:

ok... but cooking and/or domesticated skills are really just one facet of a woman
she has more




I agree.. but generalising as most is not totally true.. a large proportion but most is an exaggeration in my opinion
LOL @ ayamatanga... that ish was scary...

God help us

Thank you for not being narrow minded
You have a balance view of relationship
You are very objective

pickabeau1:

bro... seriously.. all i need is the new Tecno Phantom

hahaha...

ride ko; rash ni

Funny. Btw......
Which of the tecno phantoms? You have 1 minute from the time of posting to make your requests know......
Time starts now

King Edward I:

Funny. Btw......
Which of the tecno phantoms? You have 1 minute from the time of posting to make your requests know......
Time starts now

ERM ERM ....

Good man

Bro if that's what you think of me,you're very wrong.
I do not have a problem with submission I just don't think it's the same thing with controlling your partner.
I don't endorse the man being the only provider in the home. I don't know where you got that from.
I'm not domineering infact I love my man manly
Not a wussy kind of man.

But wanting to be respected,not pushed around and trampled on isn't being domineering. It's just who I am

Effiwizzi: @ LORRETTA
LORETTA , this is strictly directed at you. i ve carefully read ur points all thru this topic.
you seem to be A VERY DOMMINEERING kind of woman. it pricks you so hard to hear of the word submission., Then you can go fight the almighty God if u r so pained.
Secondly, you are a real femmist and for you information, no one is contesting with you.
I HAVE NEVE HEARD YOU CONTESTING THE ISSUE OF THE MAN PROVIDING FOR HIS FAMILY and y it should be so when the woman is equally getting a pay cheque at the end of the day.
You so much stress on equality btw the man and the woman and it all sorrounds on the rights of the woman.
1. providering for her
2. opening the door for her
3. loving her
4. paying the childrens fees
5. providing the shelter
e.t.c
Y dont you see any reasons y the woman shudnt do this things.
The bible learly states that there is NO EQUALITY and that the man is the head of the family and if u have any issues with that, you can jump into the lagoon.

submisivness dosnt mean control i would love to answer your question here.
I quote you saying men are threatened by womens success hence they crave for their submission. I will recommed "THE MYTH OF SINGLENESS" for you to read.

STop misinforming good women.In any case, a womans submission shouldnt be dependent on any factor and including His loving you. you do it because God commanded it and the blessing comes from Him and not the man. He issued the command. and same to the male folk.

@ Pickabeau, out of 10 random ladies and only one has something good to say about her hubby,isn't that most??

pickabeau1: Hm... an objective female

Good to let your naija females know that white men also poop because to most of them whatever a white man does must be divine

second bolded.... are you sure you are a female
A female espousing non -equality of the sexes

Them gonna be set upon you,....

*looks under shirt, sees boobs* yes, I'm a female. Like I said earlier, this is my upbringing. Just because the man sometimes does the groceries, or cooks or cleans the house doesn't make the relationship equal. Just the fact that I feel protected when I'm with him throws out the equality topic out of the window. My (future) boyfriend may feel safe with me and in our relationship but the ACTUAL feeling of being safe or of being protected is something we females feel. Yeah no, no equality there for me.

strange views... however there is nothing like a woman that knows what she wants; not one easily influenced by movements up and down

nice one

Mikhaela:

*looks under shirt, sees boobs* yes, I'm a female. Like I said earlier, this is my upbringing. Just because the man sometimes does the groceries, or cooks or cleans the house doesn't make the relationship equal. Just the fact that I feel protected when I'm with me throws out the equality topic out of the window. My (future) boyfriend may feel safe with me and in our relationship but the ACTUAL feeling of being safe or of being protected is something we females feel. Yeah no, no equality there for me.

Not sure... in my own circle of friends... all my friends have good things to say about their hubby and marriage

Dont use the percentage on NL to judge..

use real life examples in your own life

byvan: @ Pickabeau, out of 10 random ladies and only one has something good to say about her hubby,isn't that most??

@ Pickabeau, Are your circle of friends femaleswell,i had a chat with some ladies during CDS last week,their account of their marriages where mind boggling mehn ! ! ! I had to shut my mouth because I only have praises to sing of mine

byvan: @ Pickabeau, Are your circle of friends femaleswell,i had a chat with some ladies during CDS last week,their account of their marriages where mind boggling mehn ! ! ! I had to shut my mouth because I only have praises to sing of mine

I have male n female friends like any normal person

Mind boggling accounts....Dont believe everything you hear

Some people exaggerate...

others are even going through worse but naa them be lion

My hubby can not try me, my hubby that meanwhile the guy never chop their food for 2 weeks

The point is this: every relationship is unique and its until you go out, you will appreciate what you have

sexkillz: I noticed that too. And it hardly goes down well, in my opinion.

Why is because those men want someone they can easily control. "sit down here and don't move" and she obeys. The girls there are deemed unsubmissive, and independent. That independence factor drives them nuts. The ladies know better, and know what respect from a man means and would not tolerate trampling on what they perceive to be their fundamental human rights. The men that think this way are usually selfish and egotistical although they might not show it. They think only about how they'll benefit from a "tamed" and "naïve" home grown lady. Now, he's coming home to look for a wife, but he has forgotten now that because he lives abroad, it'll be very difficult to find a lady who loves him for love and not for his money or his "abroadness".

He meets a girl who puts on her best behaviour because, all she can see is her prospects of going abroad.. She is also selfish in this regard and will not show it. When they finally get married and she leaves Nigeria, and the euphoria of getting abroad wears off, you see this same lady displaying her real color. Now she also wants to be independent after her eye don open and she don see as e dey go. The man will see her as unsubmissive and rude and now he is back to where he started from, if not worse.

The devil you know is better than the angel you do not know. Most of those girls they eventually marry are people who were recommended for them, and in most cases, the ones doing the recommending are in cahoots with the lady to dupe them. A lot of negative stories abound. . . There's a lot of eye-shining to be done.

Hmmm u make sense die

SUBMISSION IN MARRIAGE MEANS:

As indicated by italics in most translations, be subject is not in the original text, but the meaning is carried over from verse 21. The idea is: “Be subject to one another in the fear of Christ [and, as a first example,] wives, … to your own husbands.” As explained in the previous chapter, hupotasso means to relinquish one’s rights, and the Greek middle voice (used in verse 21 and carried over by implication into verse 22) emphasizes the willing submitting of oneself God’s command is to those who are to submit. That is, the submission is to be a voluntary response to God’s will in giving up one’s independent rights to other believers in general and to ordained authority in particular—in this case the wife’s own husband.

ONE BEING THE HEAD DOESNT SUGGEST INFERIORITY TO THE OTHER.

No matter how expensive a car is, it requires a minimum of N97/L fuel to get the engine stated and taht dosnt make the better because without the fuel it dosent go nowhere.
Its supposed to be a symbiotic kind of relationship btw the man and wife.
Stop this feeling of inferiority because you are to submit. it is easy to lead either?

Dont try to function as what you wer not design to function as. That is where the failure comes in. opereate in your strenth as a women. A man can never beat you doin that.

pickabeau1:

I have male n female friends like any normal person

Mind boggling accounts....Dont believe everything you hear

Some people exaggerate...

others are even going through worse but naa them be lion

My hubby can not try me, my hubby that meanwhile the guy never chop their food for 2 weeks

The point is this: every relationship is unique and[b] its until you go out, you will appreciate what you have[/b]

You are right
I tell people to create a list of ten things that are very important to them in a relationship
If your husband or friend has that quality
Will you accept 5/10 or 8/10
At one point in my life
I made a list at the end,she had 1/10
So I had to cut off that relationship

@ Pickabeau,well..why exactly ll one prefer to tarnish his or her spouse's image just for entertainment??saying things that never happened......e fit be mental disorder sha.

Your own husband suggests the intimacy and mutuality of the wife’s submission. She willingly makes herself subject to the one she possesses as her own husband (cf. 1 Cor. 7:3–4). Husbands and wives are to have a mutual possessiveness as well as a mutual submissiveness. They belong to each other in an absolute equality. The husband no more possesses his wife than she possesses him. He has no superiority and she no inferiority, any more than one who has the gift of teaching is superior to one with the gift of helps. A careful reading of 1 Corinthians 12:12–31 will show that God has designed every person for a unique role in the Body of Christ, and the pervasive attitude governing all those roles and blending them together is “the more excellent way” of love (ch. 13).



As with spiritual gifts, the distinctions of headship and submission are entirely functional and were ordained by God. As a consequence of Eve’s disobedience of God’s command and her failure to consult with Adam about the serpent’s temptation, God told her, “Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you” (Gen. 3:16). The desire spoken of here is not sexual or psychological, both of which Eve had for Adam before the Fall as his specially created helper. It is the same desire spoken Of in the next chapter, where the identical Hebrew word (t?shûqâ) is used. The term comes from an Arabic root that means to compel, impel, urge, or seek control over. The Lord warned Cain, “Sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you [that is, control you], but you must master it” (4:7, niv ; emphasis added). Sin wanted to master Cain, but God commanded Cain to master sin. In light of this close context meaning of t?shûqâ, therefore, the curse on Eve was that woman’s desire would henceforth be to usurp the place of man’s headship and that he would resist that desire and would rule over her. The Hebrew word here for “rule” is not the same as that used in 1:28. Rather it represented a new, despotic kind of authoritarianism that was not in God’s original plan for man’s headship.



With the Fall and its curse came the distortion of woman’s proper submissiveness and of man’s proper authority. That is where the battle of the sexes began, where women’s liberation and male chauvinism came into existence. Women have a sinful inclination to usurp man’s authority and men have a sinful inclination to put women under their feet. The divine decree that man would rule over woman in this way was part of God’s curse on humanity, and it takes a manifestation of grace in Christ by the filling of the Holy Spirit to restore the created order and harmony of proper submission in a relationship that has become corrupted and disordered by sin.

byvan: @ Pickabeau,well..why exactly ll one prefer to tarnish his or her spouse's image just for entertainment??saying things that never happened......e fit be mental disorder sha.

Not really
but to make herself important
To make the ex have enemies
for people to think she is a victim

GoodFaith:
Not really
but to make herself important
To make the ex have enemies
for people to think she is a victim

True and at times to fit in when you are the only one doing well

Humans are strange

This does not preclude bad marriages
They exist

Wow!!!nawaoooh!!

Makes sense

The thing is some men don't see it that way. Submission to them means not having a mind of your own.

Effiwizzi:

ONE BEING THE HEAD DOESNT SUGGEST INFERIORITY TO THE OTHER.

No matter how expensive a car is, it requires a minimum of N97/L fuel to get the engine stated and taht dosnt make the better because without the fuel it dosent go nowhere.
Its supposed to be a symbiotic kind of relationship btw the man and wife.
Stop this feeling of inferiority because you are to submit. it is easy to lead either?

Dont try to function as what you wer not design to function as. That is where the failure comes in. opereate in your strenth as a women. A man can never beat you doin that.

Wives is not qualified, and therefore applies to every Christian wife, regardless of her social standing, education, intelligence, spiritual maturity or giftedness, age, experience, or any other consideration. Nor is it qualified by her husband’s intelligence, character, attitude, spiritual condition, or any other consideration. Paul says categorically to all believing wives: be subject to your own husbands.

What do you think I mean by 'demanding respect'?
Opening my mouth and shouting 'respect me respect me' ?
Smh

chisco82:
Did I hear you say "Demand"?
Like Sarah demanded from Father Abraham right?

Effiwizzi: Wives is not qualified, and therefore applies to every Christian wife, regardless of her social standing, education, intelligence, spiritual maturity or giftedness, age, experience, or any other consideration. Nor is it qualified by her husband’s intelligence, character, attitude, s[b]piritual condition, or[i] any other consideration. P[b]aul says categorically to all believing wives: be subject to your own husbands.[/b][/i]

I think relationship is a partnership
Mutual respect and consideration for each other

Deschil: Some of these guys are gay and can't date a girl that lives close to them. They can only compromise by getting a girl far away while hoping her naivete will stop her from noticing his lifestyle when she eventually moves over. I know this for a fact.

Lol. Honestly I know some guys who will look fabulous in high heels and highly suspicious getting wives from Nigeria. Sometimes when I see the couple I have to wear my glasses well maybe na me no see wetin the girl see. I was shocked when I heard these guys got married. Though not all though. I guess the desperation to get out of Nigeria makes people ignore a lot of things and marry anything from abroad. It's shocking sometimes. Even some fraud guys sef with no reasonable source of income over there marry to bring wife who can work to feed them. Hahaha. People should look well. Marry people who you know or you know exactly what they are doing and you can go and see for yourself. I know a lot of women being severely abused. This is what some men mean by submissive. They can kill you and should expect not to go to jail because they rescued you from poverty. They also never fail to remind you. Even the most wretched of all.

Preach it sister

baby_123:
Lol. Honestly I know some guys who will look fabulous in high heels and highly suspicious getting wives from Nigeria. Sometimes when I see the couple I have to wear my glasses well maybe na me no see wetin the girl see. I was shocked when I heard these guys got married. Though not all though. I guess the desperation to get out of Nigeria makes people ignore a lot of things and marry anything from abroad. It's shocking sometimes. Even some fraud guys sef with no reasonable source of income over there marry to bring wife who can work to feed them. Hahaha. People should look well. Marry people who you know or you know exactly what they are doing and you can go and see for yourself. I know a lot of women being severely abused. This is what some men mean by submissive. They can kill you and should expect not to go to jail because they rescued you from poverty. They also never fail to remind you. Even the most wretched of all.