ogugua88: It's hard finding a Nigerian woman abroad. There are millions of Nigerian girls, but seldom can you find a woman. Language? They can't speak. Food? They can't cook. Basic Nigerian values? They don't have I'm not generalizing. As a woman, I am telling you that there are some Nigerian "women" who embarrass the hell out of me.

However, the same goes for their male counterparts. Some Nigerian boys complain, they're arrogant, and they do try to be controlling (I'm speaking from experience). I still like to believe that people can be in a loving relationship without one party needing to control the other.

It's not just men that go home anyway, although they do it more. A friend of mine, her fiancé is in Nigeria and will be joining her here soon for marriage.

To each his or her own really. They can marry whoever they like. They'll jam many of the same obstacles they jam here at home.

Ogugua, you are a true daughter of your father for this comment. make I kuku speak broken 'na your papa born you joor'.

Loretta, this was what I meant when I told you you already have the answer, ( emphasis on the bolded) and I was about to expatiate before I came across Oguagua' s comment, am happy she saved me the energy to explain, besides I'm glad its coming from a fellow woman like you from her experiences gathered over there, so you should relate more easily with that.

Adaobi also gave a couple of insights as to why its so and from her' s, you can see that majority of the women affected over there are the creator of their problems.

All Nigerian men go home to marry?

I know damn well I didn't read that two Nigerians have successful marriage as t home.

Bullshit!

Uyi Iredia: @ lorretta: The answer is in your OP. The men tend to think girls from Naija are usually better wife-material. I kind of agree but I think there are still wife material up there though. The kind wife material Nigerian men abroad dey find likely abounded in the 19th century.

There is no such thing as better housewives regionally....each man has different expectations in wives.

On American soil....African women seems to be docile and dumb-down and on African soil...American women seems loud and aggressive.

It's all about preference and compatibility.

Most
Even when they have Nigerian ladies around them there

Mrs.Chima:
All Nigerian men go home to marry?

Mrs.Chima:


There is no such thing as better housewives regionally....each man has different expectations in wives.

On American soil....African women seems to be docile and dumb-down and on African soil...American women seems loud and aggressive.

It's all about preference and compatibility.

I don't know about docility and "dumb down". I do know about loud and aggressive. And I would like to know any examples of men who claim compatibility with "loudness" and "aggression" in their homes and evidence that that has not damaged homelife for them. Have you got any such?

this thread has been an eye opener to me. There are virtuous women everywhere, it just depends on where you're seeking them from. I also think alot more ladies need advice, its not like they are intentionally that way, its just that they dont know any better. the media has brainwashed them n nobody has sat them down to re-orientate them. my mum once sat one of such girls, very beautiful girl, n spoke to her. the girl used to pass our shop, she was always dressed indecently n had been searching for a husband for some years, after my mom spoke to her, she broke down n cried for hours, she said no one had ever told her these things. long story short, she changed n is now married.
Women r not the only ones at fault, men too. we r in an era where u shudnt beat a woman in the name of correcting her. you shudnt shout at her because ure angry, shes not ur child or slave. you shudnt force her for sex cos ure her husband n then say its not rape, it is. any woman wud react to such . its nt that shes not wife material. if u treat her like filth, she 'll lose all respect for u.

jay bee: It's very simple. You are more likely to find a partner you can dominate in a third world country compared to the western world.

Men sometimes get threatened dating successful females so it's necessary for them to get that woman who will make them feel like king kong

soo...in other words. . . . i make u feel like King Kong?

Creamish:

soo...in other words. . . . i make u feel like King Kong?

You bet

lorretta u: Might be a generalization,but has anyone else noticed such too?
I wonder if there's anything wrong with Nigerian women abroad. The men keep trooping home to marry.Many ladies I know who got married recently married men that came from abroad.
I asked one ersthwhile suitor why he wanted to marry me even though he didn't know me well enough. He said:
''no matter how you are,as long as you were raised in a Nigerian home,you can't be as bad as the girls over here. You need to see what they are doing. None of them is wife material. They can't cook, disrespectful, wild, unsubmissive , bla bla bla.''

That's unfair!
Imagine being on the phone with my girlfriend that lives in UK next thing she says:
'LoLo I'm coming back finally'
And I'm like
'why?'
Hmm- she exhales
'There are no husbands here. I'll come back when I'm married'
is it that bad?
Guys abroad over to you. What's your complaint? Let's settle this matter once and for all

On a serious note . . . wild girls exist everywhere u go . . this has nuttn to do with location. I just see it as a gamble men based abroad are willing to take prolly cos they have been mixing with the wrong crowd.

jay bee:
You bet

Hurry up n put a ring on it before Chike comes back from London oo .. lolz

Creamish:

Hurry up n put a ring on it before Chike comes back from London oo .. lolz

I'm sure he doesn't want to be kidnapped with a million dollar ransom hanging on his neck.

He knows better

ebamma: a word of advice for those guys, many girls here in nigeria can't cook too, aren't that submissive, love expensive wigs, jewelleries, and clothes, so my advice stick with the devil over there u know, cos its hard seeing angels over here

Funny

GustavoFring: No be say dem shoot bird en mama fly, but a lot of the Nigerian girls brought up in the West are not wife material.

Nobody says the girl should not be independent, but overstronghead dey kill.

There can only be one captain on a ship

true sire

Op I have not noticed.

sexkillz: I noticed that too. And it hardly goes down well, in my opinion.

Why is because those men want someone they can easily control. "sit down here and don't move" and she obeys. The girls there are deemed unsubmissive, and independent. That independence factor drives them nuts. The ladies know better, and know what respect from a man means and would not tolerate trampling on what they perceive to be their fundamental human rights. The men that think this way are usually selfish and egotistical although they might not show it. They think only about how they'll benefit from a "tamed" and "naïve" home grown lady. Now, he's coming home to look for a wife, but he has forgotten now that because he lives abroad, it'll be very difficult to find a lady who loves him for love and not for his money or his "abroadness".

He meets a girl who puts on her best behaviour because, all she can see is her prospects of going abroad.. She is also selfish in this regard and will not show it. When they finally get married and she leaves Nigeria, and the euphoria of getting abroad wears off, you see this same lady displaying her real color. Now she also wants to be independent after her eye don open and she don see as e dey go. The man will see her as unsubmissive and rude and now he is back to where he started from, if not worse.

The devil you know is better than the angel you do not know. Most of those girls they eventually marry are people who were recommended for them, and in most cases, the ones doing the recommending are in cahoots with the lady to dupe them. A lot of negative stories abound. . . There's a lot of eye-shining to be done.

Gawd blezz you

adaobi123: Are we talking about Nigerian men who have moved abroad or Nigerian men who have been brought up abroad ?

Some girls here don't like naija men who moved abroad. They'll be like "ewww his nigerian accent is so strong I don't like it. Hes so fresh (fresh basically means JJC)" Or they'll be like "omg the way he acts is like some village man" blah blah

Naija girls here have a very high expectations. They want guys that will take them to soho and drink expensive drinks. They'll be looking for an idris elba when they are attracting nkem owoh's. I guess that's why a lot of naija men are looking for their brides elsewhere. But I'm not saying all girls abroad are like this though, some are willing to date anyone.

are you different from such girls?

SexKillz, Tell me more......cos I got this pemperempe I liked from Anambra, and there were 4 suitors coming for her last December, (na me give am transport oh), I heard 1 from Malaysia, 2 from US and 1 from London. Why would Diasporans be that silly to come to marry babe wey just comot from my bedroom to go enjoy xmas for East, as in correct by-the-side oshofree.

ogugua88: It's hard finding a Nigerian woman abroad. There are millions of Nigerian girls, but seldom can you find a woman. Language? They can't speak. Food? They can't cook. Basic Nigerian values? They don't have. I'm not generalizing. As a woman, I am telling you that there are some Nigerian "women" who embarrass the hell out of me.

However, the same goes for their male counterparts. Some Nigerian boys complain, they're arrogant, and they do try to be controlling (I'm speaking from experience). I still like to believe that people can be in a loving relationship without one party needing to control the other.

It's not just men that go home anyway, although they do it more. A friend of mine, her fiancé is in Nigeria and will be joining her here soon for marriage.

To each his or her own really. They can marry whoever they like. They'll jam many of the same obstacles they jam here at home.

What is wrong in not being able to cook or speak a language? It's easy to say that this is a problem without actually digging more. I think I've said this before, I don't speak any Nigerian dialect, I don't cook any Nigerian food, I don't know anybody from Nigeria etc. My upbringing was not a "typical" Nigerian upbringing if I may say but that doesn't mean jack. That being said, I consider myself to be a normal woman. I cook only for myself, at least I try, because I live alone, been living alone since I was 17/18. I speak only European languages because that was what I was taught. I work to pay for my bills, I have a regular (or maybe not ) social life. I just feel that marriage is overrated. I want my future boyfriend (winks at Santa) to make me feel comfortable regardless of his "upbringing". As long as there is some kind of stability, I'm good to go.
Nothing will change though. I will still not be able to cook, even if I try. I will still not speak any dialect, I will still not be the typical Nigerian lady. I'll just be who I've always been...

lorretta u: Very true the recommendation part
I won't lie to you.if I've gotten 10 marriage proposals in my adult life. 8 were guys from abroad. They tell their mothers they want to marry and the next thing you'll see is a woman coming visiting to the house to talk woman to woman with my mom. And the story always goes like this:
"madam nurse. Achoro m ka nwam nwoke no obodo oyibo bia luru nwa gi nwanyi ejima nke ocha. Ihe ya na amasi m. O ga alota december ka-anyi bia mee ihe isi ya"

"Madam nurse,I want my son abroad to come and marry your daughter the fair twin. I like her. He'll come back xmas for us to come pay bride price"
Smh
I've never even seen the guy in question before. (what if he's a drug dealer)
Some will meet u online and propose so soon you'll be surprised.
I don't mind if men in diaspora come home to marry their former sweethearts.at least they've known each other before he travelled
But what I don't agree with is the assumption that home based girls are better wife materials.

What's with many guys and easily controlled females? That's not a nice quality in a wife if u ask me.

e b like you ma don dy behave like dem oyibo ladies. . . So, inside all this advice, you never know wattsup.

sexkillz: I noticed that too. And it hardly goes down well, in my opinion.

Why is because those men want someone they can easily control. "sit down here and don't move" and she obeys. The girls there are deemed unsubmissive, and independent. That independence factor drives them nuts. The ladies know better, and know what respect from a man means and would not tolerate trampling on what they perceive to be their fundamental human rights. The men that think this way are usually selfish and egotistical although they might not show it. They think only about how they'll benefit from a "tamed" and "naïve" home grown lady. Now, he's coming home to look for a wife, but he has forgotten now that because he lives abroad, it'll be very difficult to find a lady who loves him for love and not for his money or his "abroadness".

He meets a girl who puts on her best behaviour because, all she can see is her prospects of going abroad.. She is also selfish in this regard and will not show it. When they finally get married and she leaves Nigeria, and the euphoria of getting abroad wears off, you see this same lady displaying her real color. Now she also wants to be independent after her eye don open and she don see as e dey go. The man will see her as unsubmissive and rude and now he is back to where he started from, if not worse.

The devil you know is better than the angel you do not know. Most of those girls they eventually marry are people who were recommended for them, and in most cases, the ones doing the recommending are in cahoots with the lady to dupe them. A lot of negative stories abound. . . There's a lot of eye-shining to be done.

[size=15pt]Unsubmisive Nigerian woman in Nigeria is better than Unsubmisive Nigerian woman in diaspora[/size]

A cultured Hebrewess is all I want, as long as she is raised and nurtured in the word, it don't matter where she is from...if you were born in America,UK,Nigeria it dont matter as long as you are spiritual,I would court and marry her....but on a serious note I wouldn't marry a worldly woman regardless of where she was born and raised....if marriage was about sex AA babes will suffice dont have to travel thousands of miles for some azz

AFRICANS OR NIGERIAN WOMEN ARE WORST THAN ANYTHING IN ABROAD.
THEY Are worst than animals , country like America. a naija woman would want to prove that she has equal right
with her husband. just because of the law of the land , they forgot that our culture is different where we came from.
even some women in Nigeria , when they come to America, they become worst than even those that was here Originally.
sometime, its good to marry someone from another culture willing to learn your culture.

lorretta u: Might be a generalization,but has anyone else noticed such too?
I wonder if there's anything wrong with Nigerian women abroad. The men keep trooping home to marry.Many ladies I know who got married recently married men that came from abroad.
I asked one ersthwhile suitor why he wanted to marry me even though he didn't know me well enough. He said:
''no matter how you are,as long as you were raised in a Nigerian home,you can't be as bad as the girls over here. You need to see what they are doing. None of them is wife material. They can't cook, disrespectful, wild, unsubmissive , bla bla bla.''

That's unfair!
Imagine being on the phone with my girlfriend that lives in UK next thing she says:
'LoLo I'm coming back finally'
And I'm like
'why?'
Hmm- she exhales
'There are no husbands here. I'll come back when I'm married'
is it that bad?
Guys abroad over to you. What's your complaint? Let's settle this matter once and for all

Well the ones I know are married to foreign women

GustavoFring: No be say dem shoot bird en mama fly, but a lot of the Nigerian girls brought up in the West are not wife material.

Nobody says the girl should not be independent, but overstronghead dey kill.

There can only be one captain on a ship

For d ship to function properly there shuld b cabin crew! So Wife's deserve to b treated carefully and respectfully.

Mikhaela:

What is wrong in not being able to cook or speak a language? It's easy to say that this is a problem without actually digging more. I think I've said this before, I don't speak any Nigerian dialect, I don't cook any Nigerian food, I don't know anybody from Nigeria etc. My upbringing was not a "typical" Nigerian upbringing if I may say but that doesn't mean jack. That being said, I consider myself to be a normal woman. I cook only for myself, at least I try, because I live alone, been living alone since I was 17/18. I speak only European languages because that was what I was taught. I work to pay for my bills, I have a regular (or maybe not ) social life. I just feel that marriage is overrated. I want my future boyfriend (winks at Santa) to make me feel comfortable regardless of his "upbringing". As long as there is some kind of stability, I'm good to go.
Nothing will change though. I will still not be able to cook, even if I try. I will still not speak any dialect, I will still not be the typical Nigerian lady. I'll just be who I've always been...

Lol. Ok o, madam. Mr Future Boyfriend must make you comfortable regardless of his upbringing o and expect absolutely nothing but what you have always been in return. Bless you, ma'am.

adaobi123: Are we talking about Nigerian men who have moved abroad or Nigerian men who have been brought up abroad ?

Some girls here don't like naija men who moved abroad. They'll be like "ewww his nigerian accent is so strong I don't like it. Hes so fresh (fresh basically means JJC)" Or they'll be like "omg the way he acts is like some village man" blah blah

Naija girls here have a very high expectations. They want guys that will take them to soho and drink expensive drinks. They'll be looking for an idris elba when they are attracting nkem owoh's. I guess that's why a lot of naija men are looking for their brides elsewhere. But I'm not saying all girls abroad are like this though, some are willing to date anyone.

Hahaha! This is very true, but I think it's valid for only teenagers & very young girls, like yourself. No matured woman of marriable age thinks that way. Because i personally know about 2 Nigerian women (born & bred) who went to Nigeria to pick husband, I think it all depends on the kind of upbringing & family background. Besides its a height of illiteracy & ignorance for someone to think anyone from Nigeria is acting village like, there are loads of people in Nigeria who live more comfortably than most Nigerians here.

When you understand they classes of society, you'll know it doesn't matter where you live, what matters is what class are you in where you live. Even in Britain, there classes, you can't compare someone brought up in Knightsbridge to a someone brought up in Peckham.

It's even very hard for a rich Nigerian to live in Britain, the country is too conservative, the roads are too small, the cars are toyish, the buildings are ancient & tiny, my cousin said this country makes him feel like him he's in a cage, he moved to the US.

Mikhaela:

What is wrong in not being able to cook or speak a language? It's easy to say that this is a problem without actually digging more. I think I've said this before, I don't speak any Nigerian dialect, I don't cook any Nigerian food, I don't know anybody from Nigeria etc. My upbringing was not a "typical" Nigerian upbringing if I may say but that doesn't mean jack. That being said, I consider myself to be a normal woman. I cook only for myself, at least I try, because I live alone, been living alone since I was 17/18. I speak only European languages because that was what I was taught. I work to pay for my bills, I have a regular (or maybe not ) social life. I just feel that marriage is overrated. I want my future boyfriend (winks at Santa) to make me feel comfortable regardless of his "upbringing". As long as there is some kind of stability, I'm good to go.
Nothing will change though. I will still not be able to cook, even if I try. I will still not speak any dialect, I will still not be the typical Nigerian lady. I'll just be who I've always been...

Good luck (Jonathan).

anwunta:

We guys are quick to quote the 'submissive' part of the bible, but forget to quote the full verse of the particular scripture. What happened to the second part that said "husbands love your wife and do not be bitter towards them"?. If you love and care about your woman immensely, she will naturally submit to you without anyone saying it. And remember, the submission is to HUSBANDS not tyrant or bullies. Like sexkillz said, some of these men want a tame woman that they can bully around and it's not right. If you can't care and love your wife very well, don't expect her to submit and respect you. Respect is reciprocal my brother

@OP, another reason is culture. Culture matters a lot and some people wants to imbibe such cultures into their kids and who's to do better than a nigerian woman?. Also forget all the thousand threads created to talk about the faults of nigerian women(they have their faults), the truth is no place like home. If you get a good nigerian woman as a wife, my brother, you have gotten a good thing

Your head is very correct.

It is because they see naija girls as more responsible and submissive. Those oyinbo wives fit wake up one day divorce u, carry your children waka and leave u peniless.