safarigirl: bros you just dey yarn dust. There are MANY marriages in Nigeria where the husband and wife have turned the house to WWE arena, where did you get that idea that every married woman in Nigeria is submissive or every submissive woman is married? Submissive women tend to be extremely dull and slow, they can't do anything without being told to, they can't make decisions on their own, they're no better than housemaids and are of little or no use to their husbands. You'll never appreciate that smart, sharp, independent woman until the dull carpet you left at home starts calling you when you're in a different state/country to ask you silly questions like if she should pay the guys that dispose the trash (I had a neighbor like this, sickening)

apacheguy: the rudeness cld b as a result of ur assumption abt every man being rude, you knw, hv a open mind and b humble, it works like a magnet nd gv u the wife material brand

LBanks: @ bukatyne which ones are low quality men?

matnx: Most people do what they do because of the influence of others not necessarily because they really like or want to do what they are doing!

That being said why do most ( am not saying all women) African women make marriage a do or die affair? It's because they want to be accepted by the society,to please people and not be laughed at as our society places a woman getting married as her highest achievement in life and as the only value she is worth. Why do most guys get married? Because they want to please their family not necessarily because they want to get married, in fact some even know deep down that they are not ready for marriage.But because we have this mentality of "WHAT WILL PEOPLE SAY" many would get stuck in things they are not mentally,financially and emotionally ready for. Same goes for having children.

By the way i personally don't think marriages in the past lasted long because women were more humble than they are now, i think it was men made sure women had no choice but to stay in a marriage. What do i mean? She had no job, no education, she was trained only to get married,bear children and serve her husband.So even if her was maltreating her and her children she had no where to go! How would she feed herself and her kids? She would become a pariah!

You see a man just married 5 days ago,clubbing till day break,drunk,womanising and others. Its obvious he his not prepared to be a family man so why his he married?

Most of the guys commenting here are Chauvinists. A woman should be more humble n blah blah. Women 30 and above are not married and its shameful?! Really? What selfishness and what pride!!

Jesus Christ is the leader of the christian congregation. And yes a woman should be submissive and respect her man. But the bible said also a man should love the woman has his own body and cherish her as christ does the congregation and gave up his life for it ( can you be rude,controlling and unkind to yourself? Can you beat yourself up?). Jesus( he that has been since before the creation of men, heavenly spirit, superior in ways we cannot fathom) washed the feet of his disciples,mere men,fishermen and the likes and gave up his life for us.He led not by expecting or by entitlement but by EXAMPLE! Men learn from this! If you can then you can expect the good and reasonable women to follow your lead in all aspects.

matnx: Most people do what they do because of the influence of others not necessarily because they really like or want to do what they are doing!

That being said why do most ( am not saying all women) African women make marriage a do or die affair? It's because they want to be accepted by the society,to please people and not be laughed at as our society places a woman getting married as her highest achievement in life and as the only value she is worth. Why do most guys get married? Because they want to please their family not necessarily because they want to get married, in fact some even know deep down that they are not ready for marriage.But because we have this mentality of "WHAT WILL PEOPLE SAY" many would get stuck in things they are not mentally,financially and emotionally ready for. Same goes for having children.

By the way i personally don't think marriages in the past lasted long because women were more humble than they are now, i think it was men made sure women had no choice but to stay in a marriage. What do i mean? She had no job, no education, she was trained only to get married,bear children and serve her husband.So even if her was maltreating her and her children she had no where to go! How would she feed herself and her kids? She would become a pariah!

You see a man just married 5 days ago,clubbing till day break,drunk,womanising and others. Its obvious he his not prepared to be a family man so why his he married?

Most of the guys commenting here are Chauvinists. A woman should be more humble n blah blah. Women 30 and above are not married and its shameful?! Really? What selfishness and what pride!!

Jesus Christ is the leader of the christian congregation. And yes a woman should be submissive and respect her man. But the bible said also a man should love the woman has his own body and cherish her as christ does the congregation and gave up his life for it ( can you be rude,controlling and unkind to yourself? Can you beat yourself up?). Jesus( he that has been since before the creation of men, heavenly spirit, superior in ways we cannot fathom) washed the feet of his disciples,mere men,fishermen and the likes and gave up his life for us.He led not by expecting or by entitlement but by EXAMPLE! Men learn from this! If you can then you can expect the good and reasonable women to follow your lead in all aspects.

sweetroses:

This is nice.

I have been following this thread and your arguments are quite impressive and intelligent.
Keep it up

njokusboy: Lolzz, so much ignorance on dis thread... Too bad I wasn't around.. Chai... According to one funny lady, divorce now means women are smarter.. Hahahaha.. I guess gay marrige also means we are getting wiser.. Its no fault of ours that African women are so desperate for marriage, they don't wanna be single, speak for urselfs and not for everybody... Even una wey dey form strong women, by the time you get to 35 nd don't find a husband, you'd understand what I am saying... Now, you expect a man to be the one to woo you, come see your parents, propose and bring you into his house and not respect him because he still has to earn it after doing all that.... What shallowness... Read the bible carefully, maybe you may want to take ur grudges to God or you can start by proposing to the man instead and giving him the option of turning you down... The man has to always take the bull by the horn, when he does that, women do not complain, all of a sudden he requires humility and respect from you and some wannabe activists are screaming foul play...

njokusboy: Lolzz, so much ignorance on dis thread... Too bad I wasn't around.. Chai... According to one funny lady, divorce now means women are smarter.. Hahahaha.. I guess gay marrige also means we are getting wiser.. Its no fault of ours that African women are so desperate for marriage, they don't wanna be single, speak for urselfs and not for everybody... Even una wey dey form strong women, by the time you get to 35 nd don't find a husband, you'd understand what I am saying... Now, you expect a man to be the one to woo you, come see your parents, propose and bring you into his house and not respect him because he still has to earn it after doing all that.... What shallowness... Read the bible carefully, maybe you may want to take ur grudges to God or you can start by proposing to the man instead and giving him the option of turning you down... The man has to always take the bull by the horn, when he does that, women do not complain, all of a sudden he requires humility and respect from you and some wannabe activists are screaming foul play...

safarigirl: another ignorant chauvinist. Stop using the bible to support your babaric actions. It's men like you that go through hell in marriage. Stop feeling entitled, EARN her love, EARN her submission, be a MAN

safarigirl: another ignorant chauvinist. Stop using the bible to support your babaric actions. It's men like you that go through hell in marriage. Stop feeling entitled, EARN her love, EARN her submission, be a MAN

njokusboy:

Lolzz, my friend go to sleep..Define barbaric actions?? Did this thread say it was owk for men to beat up women So you now want to disagree with the teachings of the scriptures because you are supposedly getting wiser If saying women should be submissive to their husbands or be more humble makes a man ignorant and chauvinistic then what does that make you who advocates and encourages divorce Morally bankrupt, arrogant and totally confused I guess... So a man pays ur bride price, brings you into his home and you don't think dat is enough reason to respect him even if the biblical injunctions are nothing to go by... Its because your mother was submissive to ur father and you are not from a broken home, dat is why you are so bold coming here to talk what you know little or nothing about... Go and interview kids from broken homes, maybe you would get a clue...

busolayemi: Mister...I dnt kno if u r married or not....but dear, from experience, d best way to earn a woman's submission is to earn it...u can force it buh trust me, it can neva b like....Let a waman submit to u on her own will....I submit to my husband because he respects my opinion nd I also respect his....he's not married to sum daft, half baked idiots, so he knos he can always count on my opinion....buh if u want a woman u can toss about...nd jst impose ur opinion on, nd she wudnt dare say nothin....den u r good to go. If u want a woman dat will add to u...be ready to drop ur silly ego nd stat seeing her as a partner....else, ur marriage will only hit d rock.

busolayemi: Mister...I am not sayin a woman shd not submit to d hubby....dats if a lot of men actually kno wat d meanin of submission is....buh it shd be earned not automatic...okay, so because u brot me to live under ur roof nao...its enuf reason to submit to u even if u dnt deserve it....what makes u tink a woman cannot do well on her own without her comin under ur roof...it is more dan just paying birde price and bringin her under ur roof...respect her as ur wife, treat her well, dnt bring her down, let her kno she isn't less to u, let her kno she's a partner and not a slave...nd automatically, d submission cums without u askin sef...

njokusboy:

Lolzz, my friend go to sleep..Define barbaric actions?? Did this thread say it was owk for men to beat up women So you now want to disagree with the teachings of the scriptures because you are supposedly getting wiser If saying women should be submissive to their husbands or be more humble makes a man ignorant and chauvinistic then what does that make you who advocates and encourages divorce Morally bankrupt, arrogant and totally confused I guess... So a man pays ur bride price, brings you into his home and you don't think dat is enough reason to respect him even if the biblical injunctions are nothing to go by... Its because your mother was submissive to ur father and you are not from a broken home, dat is why you are so bold coming here to talk what you know little or nothing about... Go and interview kids from broken homes, maybe you would get a clue...

njokusboy:

My friend, you need to go back to the beginning of this post.. I didn't say the man shouldn't consider the womans opinion, I said women should be submissive, why is simple English so difficult for you to understand, d fact that ur husband seeks ur opinion shows u re submissive.. Ur marriage wud sooner hit the rock if you constantly oppose everything your man says..

safarigirl: if you had come from a functional home someone would've taught you never to bring people's parents into arguments. I'm BOLD because my father had the sense to send me to school because he knew that I had to get an EDUCATION so that I could sieve the REAL MEN from the never-do-wells, because he realised that a child without an education is voiceless in our present society. I'm bold because I know right from wrong, but most especially I'm bold because chauvinists like you give me a reason to be bold. I repeat, keep the word of God out of your babarism, God NEVER sanctioned marriage to be a master-slave relationship. Quote one verse that supports chauvinism

safarigirl: if God forbid I end up with a man like you (I must been mentally unstable and intoxicated to even consider that) I will personally steer that marriage till it hits a 10-foot iceberg, and for good measure, I'll break the steering wheel to make sure no one salvages that marriage.

lorretta u: Ladies don't forget to smile often and speak with a gentle voice.
Laced with sweet words and tender touches.

You'll be in control. Truss me

lorretta u: Ladies don't forget to smile often and speak with a gentle voice.
Laced with sweet words and tender touches.

You'll be in control. Truss me