shoerack6:
I don't even want to explain what happened cos if I do, u people will help me insult him.
Ok, let me explain. Hubby is a tribalist. He said he doesn't like me speaking this particular language and that's the language I use when communicating with my family.
So yesterday, my aunty called. I tried as much as possible not to speak this language so was just answering her hun, ehn ehn but at the same time I don't want him to think i'm talking with someone I don't want him to know, so I decided to ask after her son in the language. That's where the trouble started oo.
I'm so sick and tired of all this. When I tried begging, he asked me to leave his presence and that was when I asked him if he was trying to frustrate me. He now said these days that my mouth is becoming too sharp and even threatened to slap me.

Hian!
For where you see this one marry?

Feel for d op cos she has a man with low self
Esteem on her hands who hasn't even started wit
Her psyche yet! Very soon he would b acting
Like he did his wife a favor by marrying her!
He's goin 2 gradually go downhill.
Its a pity d op is d kind dat would like 2 flow wit her
hubby but he is nt d type,my advice is dat she shuld
b a "yes sir" woman 4 any type of peace 2 reign in
dat house.

Mynd_44: Tribalist, acting childish and behaving like a demi-god. I am out of here

leMuhito: OP... two wrongs don't make a right. Keep begging. He'd change soon.

Na wao

Women have suffered sha

The mods,what you folks did was wrong
She specifically wanted to get counsel from the family section and asked that you don't make this FP news and you denied her that
That's not cool
Listen to the requests of the forumites
Without them,there would be no website

jreyez:

Don't sweat it sweetheart... Op is not real.., just registered 2 of January 2014 and 'it's' looking for attention

And you jump into conclusion that the OP is not real? Some people open another account to post their problem meanwhile they have their original handle which they use frequently.

ume: solution very simple,marriage have its ups and downs just make jesus your best friend and your bible your marriage consultant not a public forum,who knows who else you have told about this, you telling us your husband is a tribalist to gain cheap sympaty,were you forced to marry him ,simply dont speak your dielet in his presence,is it too much for a man to ask,cant you ignor such calls if he is arround

and na one woman go carry this one put for house oooo.

only an immature man will put his wife through a ringer regardless of being the only wife or co wife. a wife is someone's sister, cousin, niece, daughter, etc. how is a matured man mistreating the mother of his children? speaking different language is healthy for the relationship and a benefit for the children there is possibility they will learn all of the languages and will not be tribal baiting like those that are not and think their tribe is the only one worthy.

heck, i encourage my spouse to speak her language and any language she knows.


that husband of yours needs education about the diversity of mankind. why do these boys pretending that they are no more still in the schoolyard, when they are as husbands threatening to beat up their spouses? sick upbringing and or they are incomplete personality.

RoyPCain: @Tintingz; it there is a person to practice surah furqan, ayah 63 upon, it is baby mama. i am sure you are forced to respond to her here. so am i now.



@baby mama; the best example for good men to follow is Muhammad [SA]. remember he [SA] said all of you should be kind to your mates [wives] and i am the best of those who is kind to his mates. he mended his clothing and helped in up keeping the home. he lived a simple life without complication. every moment of his existence is an example for us believers, because he was a king without the throne of ceaser.



He was special in marriage that brought peace between believers and warring pagans because he married from their clans. imagine if you had married a yoruba? would you be calling them Yoruba or clawed face, when you know its from their that the one who sired your children is from? this is a greater method of mending fences between warring groups. Muhammad [SA] fasted, prayed, etc more than the general muslim because God commanded him to do so. so were the marriage as strategy of peace instead of war.



And when God let them know the consequences, each abandoned her woman 'jealousy and bitterness' and hope in God. each is our mother [RA], today. only disbelievers will not honor the wives in this fashion.



favorite does not be ignoring the quality and not acknowledging the rights of others. God raised one prophet [AS] higher than another, so as it is done in heaven so it is on earth.



evidently you goofed here. i will leave this gaffe of yours the future. jealousy is not always bad, it is envy that is terrible. anyone who is not jealous to have a good thing is not human.



to be equitable is not when you have 1 of a good thing that you are permitted to have many of. you treat with best quality is what being equitable is.



really? you have better solution than God Who allowed Abraham, His Friend and father of "Faith" to have more than 1? How about King David whose psalm is your shield? How about King Solomon whose temple you are hoping is restored? 1 wife is the solution when Jesus son of Mary didn't have any?



selfish and jealous woman that is.



speaks for your envious self. even among igbos, there are women that have no problem being co-wife because some will say marry my friends who are single and beautiful souls.





your advise is too little too late because you have fanned the very flame of the fire that is burning.



she is no doubt a certified bigot. she is probably a women worthy of ignoring.

Worthy of ignoring and you spent time copying bits of my post and responding to them all
Ha hahahaha.
Try taking your own advise
If you have an advise for the Op please give it to her and stop analyzing my own response

tintingz: And you jump into conclusion that the OP is not real? Some people open another account to post their problem meanwhile they have their original handle which they use frequently.

Thought nairaland rules and regulations is against that

@ the OP if there is a chance that your husband will read this thread,I suggest you don't reveal any more details of the relationship
I wouldn't want you hurt

I just thought about something
Even though I cannot fathom why a young woman would choose to be in a plural marriage in 2014, can you and your co wife ( since you say he does her the same way),get together and plan how to approach una oga at the top.
There could be strength in the number
Plan your words,practice them then sit and talk with him
I don't know if that strategy will work
men ( including mine) are terrified of confrontations no matter how mild you appear,they get defensive ,let alone two wives together
My only fear is that if he sees it as a Gang up,he could desert your foods and beds entirely and get another omoge and show you both serious pepper.

RoyPCain: @Tintingz; it there is a person to practice surah furqan, ayah 63 upon, it is baby mama. i am sure you are forced to respond to her here. so am i now.




she is no doubt a certified bigot. she is probably a women worthy of ignoring.

Good respond there brother Roy

You too just confirm the bigot in this thread.

[CHocolaTE:
]

Na wao

Women have suffered sha

When he changes, he would be the one begging whenever he messes up. It happens.

jreyez:

Thought nairaland rules and regulations is against that

Yeah, but some people just choose this way to share their problems.

Lady; no mind ur husband. If he is so controlling and upset just cos u merely speak ur dialect(a dialect he even understands);abeg whenever u wan talk; just go to ur room......i mean stay away from where he would hear u whenever u want to speak to someone in ur dialect. "O bu gini bu o chro agwa'm"? Cheer u!

Another suggestion
Almost every man gets weak in the knees where SE.x is concerned
If it was just you and him,I would have suggested ways to mesmerize him and have that man eating off the palms of your hands just by turning on your womanly gifts to overdrive
Since you are already in a plural marriage,is the man open for fantasies?
Maybe a thre.esome?
That could help
Just a little spice in the polygamy IMHOj

shoerack6: The most painful part is when it comes to begging. I can stand for 1 hour begging him.
Just how many days ago, he was angry that my aunty's husband called me.
He's so jealous and practically controls my life. If not that I already have kids, I would have asked him to divorce me.
He has another wife (i'm the first) so whenever he's not talking to me, he'll just face the other wife and abandon me. This breaks me down.

No wonder. He has a second wife. That says it all. He is a Superman!!! Are both of you muslims? If not, Christianity condones divorcing an Adulterous Partner. Marrying a second wife is Adultery in Christianity. If you are a Christian, please divorce him now so you can live a happy life again.

Baby mama: @ the OP if there is a chance that your husband will read this thread,I suggest you don't reveal any more details of the relationship
I wouldn't want you hurt

I just thought about something
Even though I cannot fathom why a young woman would choose to be in a plural marriage in 2014, can you and your co wife ( since you say he does her the same way),get together and plan how to approach una oga at the top.
There could be strength in the number
Plan your words,practice them then sit and talk with him
I don't know if that strategy will work
men ( including mine) are terrified of confrontations no matter how mild you appear,they get defensive ,let alone two wives together
My only fear is that if he sees it as a Gang up,he could desert your foods and beds entirely and get another omoge and show you both serious pepper.

If you don't have any reasonable thing to post here kindly STFU

To your own biased thinking 'all' monogamous home are all in good state?

tintingz: If you don't have any reasonable thing to post here kindly STFU

To your own biased thinking 'all' monogamous home are all in good state?

I wonder why u hurt so bad
My comments stay
I won't change them
If you don't like them,go and die

ndidibabe: No wonder. He has a second wife. That says it all. He is a Superman!!! Are both of you muslims? If not, Christianity condones divorcing an Adulterous Partner. Marrying a second wife is Adultery in Christianity. If you are a Christian, please divorce him now so you can live a happy life again.

She is a Muslim,most likely from a polygamous home too,so she is used to seeing women falling over themselves to please a man and compete for his attention.

leMuhito:
When he changes, he would be the one begging whenever he messes up. It happens.

Abeg that one na sufferhead. I am sure that men will never put themselves through the rubbish yet they expect women to do it without complaining.

Baby mama:

I wonder why u hurt so bad
My comments stay
I won't change them
If you don't like them,go and die

Don't answer that guy. You are exposing the truth about his religion and its paining him that's why he is all over your case.

shoerack6:
I don't even want to explain what happened cos if I do, u people will help me insult him.
Ok, let me explain. Hubby is a tribalist. He said he doesn't like me speaking this particular language and that's the language I use when communicating with my family.
So yesterday, my aunty called. I tried as much as possible not to speak this language so was just answering her hun, ehn ehn but at the same time I don't want him to think i'm talking with someone I don't want him to know, so I decided to ask after her son in the language. That's where the trouble started oo.
I'm so sick and tired of all this. When I tried begging, he asked me to leave his presence and that was when I asked him if he was trying to frustrate me. He now said these days that my mouth is becoming too sharp and even threatened to slap me.

I can swear with my life and my granfather's grave that this man is a yoruba man and the OP is igbo! See why i advice my sisters to stop marrying these useless childish people from the west!

@laeroy;

by Laeroy(f): 8:15pm
Original poster...why did u engage ur self in an inter-ethnic marriage? The end result of it exaclty what's happening in ur marriage......by the way...how did u as an igbo lady convert to being a Muslim......still stunned by the action U took in converting to islam....abi na becos of husband u convert?

there is no evidence that christianity is the original way of the igbos or it is anomaly for igbo to become muslim. my wife is igbo and she is a muslim. and i encourage her to speak all the languages the knows. i happily introduce her to igbos and tell them to carry on in their language, because it is me she wants and no igbo man can get her. laeroy, it is a benefit for you to become muslim because your benefit extend to hereafter when there will be great Mercy from the One Who can show appreciation. unfortunately, men or individuals like the husband of shoeracks are the bad eggs of men, muslim or not, igbos or not.

Una no do CUNTship,you supposed to have noticed this during your CUNTship,anyway,leave am make him dey bone you,na bikos harmatan never come,if harmatan come,cold go catch am and your totogo hungry am,na dat time make you too bone am or if you wan pity am,give am make him do,but no moan,no scream,no talk,no shout even if the thing dey sweet you,just lie down for bed like a log of wood,na that time him go know say,na the person wey get toto na him be master

Decryptor:
I can swear with my life and my granfather's grave that this man is a yoruba man and the OP is igbo! See why i advice my sisters to stop marrying these useless childish people from the west!

And if you are wrong nko?
What happens since you swore with your life
You will join your grandpa abi.
See how people curse themselves
U berra take it back o
This is just jan 3

Decryptor:
I can swear with my life and my granfather's grave that this man is a yoruba man and the OP is igbo! See why i advice my sisters to stop marrying these useless childish people from the west!

you have a baby brain

RoyPCain: @laeroy; there is no evidence that christianity is the original way of the igbos or it is anomaly for igbo to become muslim. my wife is igbo and she is a muslim. and i encourage her to speak all the languages the knows. i happily introduce her to igbos and tell them to carry on in their language, because it is me she wants and no igbo man can get her. laeroy, it is a benefit for you to become muslim because your benefit extend to hereafter when there will be great Mercy from the One Who can show appreciation. unfortunately, men or individuals like the husband of shoeracks are the bad eggs of men, muslim or not, igbos or not.

Your wife or one of your wives
Talk true

Oya if she is the first wife,marry another wife and see if she won't flee with her children and change their last names to her maiden name Anyanwu or Ogbonna
Try it
My classmate married a Yoruba Christian man that reverted to the ways of his fathers and a mistress cum wife appeared on the scene
That was the last time he saw his kids
Their names are legally changed too
Leave the woman,you have left the children
Say wetin?

may be there is something you do that always gets him upset

[CHocolaTE:
]

Don't answer that guy. You are exposing the truth about his religion and its paining him that's why he is all over your case.

LOL, a fool talking to a fool

Where is truth In her biased post?

To hav had a 2nd Wife Shows how much he does lurv u. .

Anyway, U've got to face it, koz u possibly wont deny neva having to know this b4 proceedin to marry him. I think u beta get demeaned to begging 4 his attention, koz d dude in question have got an Alternative wn u get absent.

Just bear, 4 lurv endureth All!

Vessi: Why dont you stop doing whatever it is thats pissing him off?
You have made up your mind to stop begging?
Then you have made up your mind to be a divorcee.

You said it all, if you have made up ur mind to not appologise again then try to stop doing what annoys him. Atleast make it ur 2014 resolution.

Hahahahhahaha, and they say man wey beat woman nah coward but slaps better pazz some treatment.


It will also help if you can tell his best Friend to advice him, his attitude is boyish; he needs to grow up.


Lastly, when something like this happens pls, talk to a marriage counsellor, your pastor/priest, an elder or elders, stop bringing ur marital problems online. It scares singles away from marriage.