~Sauron~:

Follow band-wagon?
I read situations well and make ma deductions.
This girl is GUILTY as charged.

and why can't I make my own deductions?  

crucify me  

big_bumper:



Why can't she tell him she is at a guy's place Isn't it because she was scared of his controlling nature

Iyalode . . . its because she has something to hide jare
If he is so controlling why does she want to win back his trust  else it shud be good riddance to bad rubbish . . . no?

@ OP
It's not going to be easy to win His trust back
What were you thinking of? Your action showed lack of respect for your man. It even shows you dont know how much importance he placed on the relationship, You guys were thinking marriage here!!
Anyway am sure you have realised your mistake, I wish you luck in changing his mind about you.

oyinda.:

and why can't I make my own deductions?  

crucify me  

At least make a sound judgement in your deduction.

big_bumper:

Why can't she tell him she is at a guy's place Isn't it because she was scared of his controlling nature

She couldn't tell him cos she was shagging the dude.
End of!!!
This issue has been over-flogged.

Nope.  It's because she was getting  her in-between cemented by her "friend".

oyinda.:

yea because everyone was saying she was cheating and I reread her post and didn't find evidence of that there. I was also going with the flow of YOUR post. lol
her writing is not very clear and like tope said, she is omitting somethings that are important to figuring things out.
of course she has reason to be worried.  lol
I just thought that it must be really serious for a girlfriend to be scared to tell her bf she was at her male friend's house because of "male friend trust issues" In that situation, then partial blame def. goes to the bf, in my opinion.  why remain in a relationship like that?

Mba.  You should  have read before posting.

Quote from: mandycini on May 23, 2009, 01:41 PM
I get what you guys are saying,but  He wouldnt have been happy if I told him I was with a guy, i just couldnt tell him,

Why can't she tell him she is at a guy's place Undecided Isn't it because she was scared of his controlling nature

thank you big_bumper for getting the point. Where did you find that quote? I didn't see it in her original post but I deduced that was what she meant and I was right!!
She didn't tell her bf where she was because she was scared. . . not because she cheated.
Her bf doesn't like her to be with her male friends so of course she will lie to him or ignore his calls when he asks.
That's why I said they're both at fault.

Why is an innocent girl who is not cheating, who has nothing to hide, be scared of telling her dude that she's doing something meaningless.

oyinda.:

lol. Repeat to yourself: It is okay to think for yourself. it is NOT ok to follow band-wagon at all times.
oya start repeating  

You're the one trying to play the devil's advocate based on your own opinion which is not true in the OPs case.

oyinda.:



Why can't she tell him she is at a guy's place Undecided Isn't it because she was scared of his controlling nature

thank you big_bumper for getting the point. Where did you find that quote? I didn't see it in her original post but I deduced  that was what she meant and I was right!!
She didn't tell her bf where she was because she was scared. . . not because she cheated.
Her bf doesn't like her to be with her male friends so of course she will lie to him or ignore his calls when he asks.
That's why I said they're both at fault.

The poster is a liar . . . i told u somethings are different in all her 3 threads

tope5000:

Iyalode . . . its because she has something to hide jare
If he is so controlling why does she want to win back his trust else it shud be good riddance to bad rubbish . . . no?

mandycini:

theres this particular girlI used to tell him I think she loves him,now its like they are soo close cos he replies her messages ,takes her calls etc . . .

Tope2000, that above, is the reason she wants him back at all costs She even said she can no longer breath again, lol

C2H5OH:

Why is an innocent girl who is not cheating, who has nothing to hide, be scared of telling her dude that she's doing something meaningless.

the boyfriend doesn't find what she's doing meaningless.
like I said before, what she considered trivial (visiting her male friends and other things she didn't mention) were more serious offenses to her bf. So she is scared. At first she ignores it and won't listen to her bf because she considers it trivial but now she sees that she might lose him as a result and doesn't know what to do. Should she sacrifice her personal convictions and become a "whatever you say I do" girlfriend??

you are getting it  

big_bumper:

Why can't she tell him she is at a guy's place Isn't it because she was scared of his controlling nature

Still pushing this discredited argument?

If your husband went to "chill" at another woman's house at the time you thought he shld be hard at work . . . would you expect him to lie and would this be because of your own "controlling" nature?

She was afraid to tell him about where she was because even as stupid as she was she knew it was WRONG!

oyinda.:


thank you big_bumper for getting the point. [size=14pt]Where did you find that quote?[/size] I didn't see it in her original post but I deduced that was what she meant and I was right!!
She didn't tell her bf where she was because she was scared. . . not because she cheated.
Her bf doesn't like her to be with her male friends so of course she will lie to him or ignore his calls when he asks.
That's why I said they're both at fault.

Telepathy baby I used telepathy to find the OP's posts

quote from big_bumper

Quote from: mandycini on May 23, 2009, 05:24 PM
theres this particular girlI used to tell him I think she loves him,now its like they are soo close cos he replies her messages ,takes her calls etc  . . .

Tope2000, that above, is the reason she wants him back at all costs Wink She even said she can no longer breath again, lol Cheesy Grin Cheesy

their relationship is going down the drain  

big_bumper:


Tope2000, that above, is the reason she wants him back at all costs She even said she can no longer breath again, lol

LOL . . .how does she know that the girl was in love with her guy?
It takes one to know one o
She knew that because she has feelin for her male friend too . . . . . so she sensed those sign from that girl too

8 pages and still waxing stronger!

Damn you common sense for going on that journey with morals to Niger-Delta when you know you people are whites.

I warned you both you stand the chance of being kidnapped and possibly killed.  

big_bumper:


Telepathy baby I used telepathy to find the OP's posts

haha I got ya. I'm telepathic too girl *high five*  

oyinda.:

the boyfriend doesn't find what she's doing meaningless.
like I said before, what she considered trivial (visiting her male friends and other things she didn't mention) were more serious offenses to her bf. So she is scared. At first she ignores it and won't listen to her bf because she considers it trivial but now she sees that she might lose him as a result and doesn't know what to do. Should she sacrifice her personal convictions and become a "whatever you say I do" girlfriend??

you are getting it  

GBAM

H202 is finally getting it, knew he wasn't a lost cause I blame the brain fog

oyinda.:

the boyfriend doesn't find what she's doing meaningless.
like I said before, what she considered trivial (visiting her male friends and other things she didn't mention) were more serious offenses to her bf. So she is scared. At first she ignores it and won't listen to her bf because she considers it trivial but now she sees that she might lose him as a result and doesn't know what to do. Should she sacrifice her personal convictions and become a "whatever you say I do" girlfriend??

you are getting it  

Is this another one of those statements that is "implied"?
The boyfriend never got a chance to decide what is/isn't meaningless.  She hung up and never again picked up.

tubabie:

@ OP
It's not going to be easy to win His trust back
What were you thinking of? Your action showed lack of respect for your man. It even shows you dont know how much importance he placed on the relationship, You guys were thinking marriage here!!
Anyway am sure you have realised your mistake, I wish you luck in changing his mind about you.

I absolutely agree, . . . .shes gonna need a lot of luck trying to change his mind. . . .one things for sure it isnt going to happen over night!!

C2H5OH:

Is this another one of those statements that is "implied"?
The boyfriend never got a chance to decide what is/isn't meaningless.  She hung up and never again picked up.

ah dont expect some to understand facts.

WAke up and smell the coffee peeps, she is scared of the dude and his stiffling nature but she is more worried that she has lost him, hence her reluctance to tell the whole truth and hence the title of her thread

C2H5OH:

Is this another one of those statements that is "implied"?
The boyfriend never got a chance to decide what is/isn't meaningless.  She hung up and never again picked up.

"meaningless" is your word man. I quoted it from you go back and re-read ur post.  
he already decided by asking the who where when why what, "can I talk to your friend" of the situation. I would hang up as well if I were her. lol

Neglecting your source of income to hang out at "some guy's" house is not trivial.  You could get fired, and your boyfriend might have to pick up the tabs for paying your bills.  Would you still consider it trivial then?

C2H5OH:

Is this another one of those statements that is "implied"?
The boyfriend never got a chance to decide what is/isn't meaningless.  She hung up and never again picked up.

Stop speculating and parambulating and go and read her very first post again

TOYOSI20:

I absolutely agree, . . . .shes gonna need a lot of luck trying to change his mind. . . .one things for sure it isnt going to happen over night!!

he is never going to change his mind. He is forever going to stalk her 8am in the morning to 11.59pm at night. He will hire undercover to track her footsteps and lock her in the house never to see the day light or the face of any man ever.  She is doomed. I suggest she pack her bags and leave fast!!! lol

oyinda.:

"meaningless" is your word man. I quoted it from you go back and re-read ur post.  
he already decided by asking the who where when why what, "can I talk to your friend" of the situation. I would hang up as well if I were her. lol

I don't care whose words are which.  This is not about word-ownership.  It doesn't matter what you consider meaningful or meaningless.  I only try to respond reasonably to your posts as they come.

big_bumper:

Stop speculating and parambulating and go and read her very first post again

To be honest, you are actually the one speculating. You are hell bent on the idea that this guy is a control freak, but you can't even support the claim. You keep waiting for some miracle post to surface from the girl to back you up. I reply based solely on what we presently have to work with.

C2H5OH:

Neglecting your source of income to hang out at "some guy's" house is not trivial.  You could get fired, and your boyfriend might have to pick up the tabs for paying your bills.  Would you still consider it trivial then?

lol. she's a bad girl. skipping work to chill at friend's house.  
but isn't it funny that the bf wasn't concerned about the bills and his gf getting fired.
all he was concerned about was the gender of the friend. lol talk about trivial.

oyinda.:

lol. she's a bad girl. skipping work to chill at friend's house.  
but isn't it funny that the bf wasn't concerned about the bills and his gf getting fired.
all he was concerned about was the gender of the friend. lol talk about trivial.

Lol . . . are u serious?

oyinda.:

he is never going to change his mind. He is forever going to stalk her 8am in the morning to 11.59pm at night. He will hire undercover to track her footsteps and lock her in the house never to see the day light or the face of any man ever.  She is doomed. I suggest she pack her bags and leave fast!!! lol

LOL @ him stalking her. . .u have a point there tho. . .

but i feel like if he sees that she really is willing to make things work he just might give her a chance, . . . .

which is much better than her trying to change him. . .that's one thing some women don't understand u cannot change a MAN!!!

All u can do is be hopefull!!

oyinda.:

he is never going to change his mind. He is forever going to stalk her 8am in the morning to 11.59pm at night. He will hire undercover to track her footsteps and lock her in the house never to see the day light or the face of any man ever.  She is doomed. I suggest she pack her bags and leave fast!!! lol

Contrary to what you actually think, the girl herself said that was the first time her boyfriend had called to inquire about what she was doing.