@C2H50H

I believe you read my post right, the name is BUILDER and not DIPSTICK. must you head for the sewer to pick up a few words, before you can get your points across? cos we have different outlook on life doesnt mean im stupid or you are any better. Anyways

Back to the issue at hand. Why would you emback on any relationship if you dont trust the other party, i always thought relationship is based on communication, trust and understanding , if those three ingredients are not present which i think, then the relationship is doomed to fail, irrespective of what happens during her stay with this other guy.I have a girl and my girl is free to mixed with whoever she wants male , female or any other species, cos i believe she is old enough to choose who she mingles with, besides, i have no reason to doubt or monitor her movement with the phone. but then again im not like any other men out there. So poster, i wish you best of luck and i hope you stare clear of insecure men. ,

hmmm, lemme cross-check if i use any insultive words.

I was careless there was one  occassions like when I used the words sweetheart and honey with a guy and accidentally he heard me

She was careless. Very different from cheating. They are not even close in words. I call people sweetheart, darling. Does that mean I am a freaking bisex? Oh spare me.

his main argument was that i should be careful cos of my inexperience people may make me do what i do not want to do, and it makes absolute sense cos i have experienced it

Who does the man think he is? If he wants to father so much why doesn't he produce a son? Pathetic.

like sometime he did put up a write up on the wall of my Fb ''MY ROCK'' I found myself deleting it Asap

I keep my private life out of facebook. Nobody knows who my bf is except my friends and that's how it ought to be. And yes, I send personal messages to MALE friends of mine to say hi once in a while. I guess I am cheating too. Please crucify me.

one  morning he called me,i was supposed to be at work but was just chilling with a friend(male)

I have skipped school countless times and if I have a friend to chill with, does it really matter is he is a guy or a girl? Oh by the way work starts at 8am so if she was supposed to be with a friend it's not so unusual that she was with him at that time.

@weak acid

I am very amazed at your ability to pick out every fault from the poster without considering the guy's. I am sure these bunch of sheep will kindly read your own version and forget the rest. You see they are so miserable in life that their only satisfaction is to hate and judge someone who hasn't even done anything wrong and of course they don't know.

Isn't that sad?

@Poster
What were u too doing in a guy's house very early in the morning?
I bet u slept over at this ur 'male friend's' house . . . . . . say the truth
You are cheating!!! if not why did u hang up on him when he asked you for ur friend's name?

tope5000:

@Poster
What were u too doing in a guy's house very early in the morning?
I bet u slept over at this ur 'male friend's' house . . . . . . say the truth
You are cheating!!! if not why did u hang up on him when he asked you for ur friend's name?

I am disappointed at your shallowness. So being with a guy at 8am is equal to sleeping over at his place. I wake up at 6:30 every morning and get to school at 7:30 am. Supposed I was caught skipping school with a friend of mine, would you also accuse me of sleeping at his house?

You are just trying to follow the flow.

Disgusting!

tope5000:

@Poster
What were u too doing in a guy's house very early in the morning?
I bet u slept over at this ur 'male friend's' house . . . . . . say the truth
You are cheating!!! if not why did u hang up on him when he asked you for ur friend's name?

No now. She only went over to drink his milky cereal before heading to work.

astuto:

My sincere apologies. My bad. i guess i read d post upside down. Sorry.

upside down indeed. you are excused.

@michelin89,
Your points are well stated and i quite agree with you on all of them. Except the part where u call us miserable.

I so agree with u. I think d guy has more problems than d girl, bordering on insecurity. Glad to see someone thinking clearly and rising above sentiment. ughhh.

Pls dear nairalanders, do you gain anything from calling names?  Let me know. I am listening.

michelin89:

I am disappointed at your shallowness. So being with a guy at 8am is equal to sleeping over at his place. I wake up at 6:30 every morning and get to school at 7:30 am. Supposed I was caught skipping school with a friend of mine, would you also accuse me of sleeping at his house?

You are just trying to follow the flow.

Disgusting!

Hehehehehehehehehehehe . . . . . . .  
Even the poster blamed herself . . . .obviously there is more to the story.
obviously u r the shallow one here babe

michelin89:

I am disappointed at your shallowness. So being with a guy at 8am is equal to sleeping over at his place. I wake up at 6:30 every morning and get to school at 7:30 am. Supposed I was caught skipping school with a friend of mine, would you also accuse me of sleeping at his house?

You are just trying to follow the flow.

Disgusting!

I suppose its too much to expect a woman to be responsible? Skipping school to hang out with a friend you cant openly discuss with me is simply juvenile. I'm only surprised her bf stayed with her this long.

davidylan:

I suppose its too much to expect a woman to be responsible? Skipping school to hang out with a friend you cant openly discuss with me is simply juvenile. I'm only surprised her bf stayed with her this long.

Give me a break school prefect.

michelin89:

Give me a break school prefect.

Like someone said earlier . . . maturity will soon change your mindset. Enjoy.

C2H5OH:

No now.  She only went over to drink his milky cereal before heading to work.

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

davidylan:

I suppose its too much to expect a woman to be responsible? Skipping school to hang out with a friend you cant openly discuss with me is simply juvenile. I'm only surprised her bf stayed with her this long.

So? When has skipping work become a state crime? The lady didn't want to go to work and decided to chill with her friend. Punto! If there were more to the story she'd have told us. We have confessions of all kind on NL. What would she gain by hiding that she spent the night with him? She already admitted that she skipped work. What else do you want to hear?

By the way, haven't you understood why he has stayed so long with her? Ahahahhahha! Because no other woman would keep up with her jealous ass.  

tope5000:

Hehehehehehehehehehehe . . . . . . .  
Even the poster blamed herself . . . .obviously there is more to the story.
obviously u r the shallow one here babe

Sorry to burst your bubble. I think you didn't do so well in comprehension tests. The lady is just sorry for getting mad at his stupid questions and refusing his calls. She is not sorry for keeping male friends or chilling with a male friend. That's the dude's problem and he must solve it by himself.

michelin89:

I am disappointed at your shallowness. So being with a guy at 8am is equal to sleeping over at his place. I wake up at 6:30 every morning and get to school at 7:30 am. Supposed I was caught skipping school with a friend of mine, would you also accuse me of sleeping at his house?

I will not only accuse you of his sleeping at his house, i would label you a BITCH!!!
If skipping school with a friend of yours is so NOBLE, why hide it from your boyfriend?

davidylan:

Like someone said earlier . . . maturity will soon change your mindset. Enjoy.

Always playing this maturity card. Don't you ever get tired? If we were to judge I'd say I am the only matured person here coz I am not forging stories or accusing the poster of doing thing she hasn't even mentioned. If you are so shallow to think that keeping male friends equals cheating, what are you matured for? To judge? To cook up stories? Is that how matured you are?

You are not matured. You are rotten.

michelin89:

Sorry to burst your bubble. I think you didn't do so well in comprehension tests. The lady is just sorry for getting mad at his stupid questions and refusing his calls. She is not sorry for keeping male friends or chilling with a male friend. That's the dude's problem and he must solve it by himself.

How did u know?
There is nothing wrong in keepin male friends but what sensible FEMALE will skip work to go hang out with a JOBLESS friend?
Your tiny brain  . . . . is not sharp enough to think otherwise, to you u think the men are ganging up on the poster.
I am disappointed that u didnt smell SHYTE in the poster's story.
But wateva make u sleep at nite honey

michelin89:

Always playing this maturity card. Don't you ever get tired? If we were to judge I'd say I am the only matured person here coz I am not forging stories or accusing the poster of doing thing she hasn't even mentioned. If you are so shallow to think that keeping male friends equals cheating, what are you matured for? To judge? To cook up stories? Is that how matured you are?

You are not matured. You are rotten.

uhuh someone is getting too involved in a story that isn't even hers.

Honey, responsible women dont keep male friends they cant openly talk about with their fiances. Responsible women dont give their partners any room to distrust them, responsible women ensure that open lines of communication, mutual respect and caution is the hallmark of their relationships.

I laugh when you use words like "shallow" . . . i doubt you understand it at all.

There is no problem keeping male friends . . . its how you relate with them that is a problem. A friend got married a yr ago, many of us were very close friends with his fiancee but it was all in the open. no hiding numbers, skipping class to go stay in the home of another guy, no pretence . . .

Grow up. Even the OP admitted her own failures.

~Sauron~:

I will not only accuse you of his sleeping at his house, i would label you a BITCH!!!
If skipping school with a friend of yours is so NOBLE, why hide it from your boyfriend?

Here he comes. The patronnnnnn!

Your highness I am guilty of skipping school and chilling alone with a male friend of mine. What is my punishment?

Ahahahhahaha! Like say you have never skipped school before. Am i the only honest person here?

PS: what concerns my boyfriend with the fact that I skipped school? That's my business and I can choose whether to let him know or not. It won't add or subtract anything from my life. Ahhhhh just today I remained in bed rather than going to school. Did I also sleep over a friend's house?  

Let's give d couple a break, shall we? are we not going too hard on this? Even calling names. I go tell mama o (Seun)

michelin89, keep it up. u have an un-biased mind.

michelin89:

Here he comes. The patronnnnnn!

Your highness I am guilty of skipping school and chilling alone with a male friend of mine. What is my punishment?

Ahahahhahaha! Like say you have never skipped school before. Am i the only honest person here?

PS: what concerns my boyfriend with the fact that I skipped school? That's my business and I can choose whether to let him know or not. It won't add or subtract anything from my life. Ahhhhh just today I remained in bed rather than going to school. Did I also sleep over a friend's house?  

Depends on who the boy is . . . all these people playing bf and gf with no purpose in life.

michelin89:

Here he comes. The patronnnnnn!
Your highness I am guilty of skipping school and chilling alone with a male friend of mine. What is my punishment?
Ahahahhahaha! Like say you have never skipped school before. Am i the only honest person here?

If you skipped school to do something important like visit your dentist or your GP, one can understand.
Who leaves her crib to go play poker with a male friend as early as 8 am?
Are you a Philistine?

PS: what concerns my boyfriend with the fact that I skipped school? That's my business and I can choose whether to let him know or not. It won't add or subtract anything from my life. Ahhhhh just today I remained in bed rather than going to school. Did I also sleep over a friend's house?  

U might as well not have a relationship.
Stay a free bird so you can skip classes and hang out with truants, losers and loafers.
The end will justify the means.

Hah woe art thou who reasoneth like a swine.

michelin89:

She was careless. Very different from cheating.

yeah of course.  Cheaters always look for excuses to rationalize their irresponsible acts.
Oh I was careless.  But I was drunk.  It was the devil.

They are not even close in words. I call people sweetheart, darling. Does that mean I am a freaking bisex? Oh spare me.

Yeah of course it's okay to trifle when you have a boyfriend, right?  I am not satisfied with the attention I receive from my guy so I shall hit on other boys in his presence.   He shall overhear me exchanging puppet names with those boys and must be fine with it.  

Who does the man think he is? If he wants to father so much why doesn't he produce a son? Pathetic.

Just her boyfriend.  But that means nothing these days anyway.  
Hasn't that title earned him the right to a phone call?   It would be okay to call my girlfriend and ask her a simple question without having to fear that she would hang up on me, right?  I think

@weak acid

I am very amazed at your ability to pick out every fault from the poster without considering the guy's. I am sure these bunch of sheep will kindly read your own version and forget the rest. You see they are so miserable in life that their only satisfaction is to hate and judge someone who hasn't even done anything wrong and of course they don't know.

Isn't that sad?

Yeah, and it makes so much sense to me that I have done nothing wrong, but I am desperate to win back his trust.[

I have been in a relationship with this guy for sometime now,we really meant business in this relationship cos we designed to marry each other

,

at a point i became careless with the affair cos of reasons I thought were reason enough ,he spoke to me severally over my actions but somehow I just didnt see myself listening ,partly because i was inexperienced and partly cos i thought there wasnt any need for the talks cos part though a very little part of his talks have been bothering on his being able to trust me with my male friends which am 1 million percent sure i have absolutely nothing with them,

I mean I love this guy but i would accept i was careless

.

The last straw that broke the carmels back was that one  morning he called me,i was supposed to be at work but was just chilling with a friend(male) nothing was going on,[/b]he asked where i was i said i was with a friend,and [b]he asked could he know my friends name ,i found myself cutting the call,

Why would he ask in the first place?

he called severally i kept busying the call,somehow i felt somehow telling him my friends name while my friend was there and knowing fully well that he wouldnt let go untill i tell him whom i was with and knowing him,he could possibly ask to speak with the person, am not doing anything with these guy i was with he was just a friend,

but this has destroyed my relationship with the man i love, am not saying i was right in my actions but i dont know what to do to win him back, i suddenly realised all he has been telling me, everything now makes sense, i cant imagine throwing away the dreams we shared ,the plans we made , this thing is killing me, please advice me , what do i do to get him be the loving, caring and patient guy he always was.

She emphasized more than once that they are just friends.

Michelin89
When I said the same thing along the line of yours, nL'ers asked for my head on a plate, see link below. You are wise beyond your years Thank you Sisthren for seeing what myself, Builder and JJyou are seeing
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-275559.0.html

AtupoyoyoAstuto let us know when you grow the balls to make up your mind, you hia

michelin89:

She emphasized more than once that they are just friends.

I doubt you understood the gravity of the situation. these were not random bf and gf, they had serious plans to get married and had already reached the parent stage. The guy had NEVER up to that point bothered about her friends except to warn her to be careful, i'd wager he has a right to query who his wife-to-be hangs out with. Marriage isnt a bed of roses. Its a lifetime commitment that requires a large dose of trust.

C2H5OH:

Hah woe art thou who reasoneth like a swine.
yeah of course.  Cheaters always look for excuses to rationalize their irresponsible acts.
Oh I was careless.  But I was drunk.  It was the devil.Yeah of course it's okay to trifle when you have a boyfriend, right?  I am not satisfied with the attention I receive from my guy so I shall hit on other boys in his presence.   He shall overhear me exchanging puppet names with those boys and must be fine with it.  
Just her boyfriend.  But that means nothing these days anyway.  
Hasn't that title earned him the right to a phone call?   It would be okay to call my girlfriend and ask her a simple question without having to fear that she would hang up on me, right?  I think

I won't read your usual bla bla, I know best coz I have grey hair. Oh yes call me more names. It won't take stop me from saying my piece. I am one against millions, I don't care. I'll stand here and maintain my words as long as I can write.

Big bumper . . . you obviously didnt read the OP's post or you read it upside down . . .

for instance you said this - Let him go and work on his insecurity issue, you don't need such insecure being around you. You have not had an affair yet he can't trust you amongst your male friends to the extent that he asks you to put them on the phone whenever he calls you and now you have resorted to telling him lies about your whereabouts

Actually that's flatly UNTRUE if you read this portion from the OP - At big bumper he has never asked me to put them on phone,he doesnt even call me to know whom i was with,that day was the first, i just had the feelings he might cos he had been talking on the issue,his main argument was that i should be careful cos of my inexperience people may make me do what i do not want to do, and it makes absolute sense cos i have experienced it,

where did you get the idea he was "insecure"? All these "wise" people na wa.

You can continue repeating your piece.  Even when it fails to be objective.

Unlike you, I read between the lines.

davidylan:

he has never asked me to put them on phone,he doesnt even call me to know whom i was with,that day was the first, i just had the feelings he might cos he had been talking on the issue,his main argument was that i should be careful cos of my inexperience people may make me do what i do not want to do, and it makes absolute sense cos i have experienced it,[/color]

Yehp. I completely agree.
She panicked because she had something fishy to hide,

Agreed maybe the guy have insecurity issues
But does it occur to any of u guys supporting the poster that MAYBE it was the girl that turned him into that with all these hang-up on calls rubbish i smell shyte here somewhere

I think there is def more to the story.

From the post,it seems the BF knows the poster more than her self.

he has never asked me to put them on phone,he doesnt even call me to know whom i was with,that day was the first, i just had the feelings he might cos he had been talking on the issue,his main argument was that i should be careful cos of my inexperience people may make me do what i do not want to do, and it makes absolute sense cos i have experienced it,

Nairalanders!! I think we've been infiltrated by WOMEN HATERS O. Please, please, pay them no attention. They are gonna huff and puff all nite.   .


SEUN!!! SEUN!!!  Are U watching?