oyinda.:

I will have to blame both of you. You were foolish to cheat on him and give him reasons to distrust you.
he is stupid for indirectly banning you from seeing your male friends. this will create more problems 'cause then you will lie to him (about your whereabouts etc) for fear that he's suspicious of you and he won't believe you because he sees you as a liar and cheat.

I will have to agree with Michelin89 here that your bf has no right to say you can only talk to girls. What's the point of keeping a relationship without trust?
Best thing is to sit down with him and explain how you feel. matter of fact, re-read what you wrote on here to him if you don't know what to tell him. lol  If he wants you'll he'll say so. If he doesn't then go your separate ways!!! you will meet someone else and learn not to lose his trust so this situation won't repeat itself.

when did he ever do this? Are you reading a different thread?

tope5000:

How?
I still dont know wat gave u guys that impression

Everybody just dey talk their own . . . it doesnt matter if it has no bearing to what the OP posted. 

People are just assuming, I'm sure that many people here did not actually read the poster's post, or rather, just skimmed through it, where on earth did the so called possessiveness etc come in? 

ibkaye:

I was even wondering the same thing about you jor  
Lead and I shall follow  
Bed ko

Follow me to bed?
See this alakoba

wavemasta:

I was thinking along the same lines.
I never knew the Dark lord of mordor had a pervy sense of humor  

The Dark Lord hates any iota of dishonesty.

wavemasta:

I wonder oh. The 'secured' guy is the one who ignores the obvious signs right in front of him and swallows it all.

The tell-tale signs are always there before the big crash.
Ere ki l'aja n b'ekun se?
What kinda male friend will my woman have that will require her "attention" as early as 8 am,to the point her primary assignment was relegated to the background

wavemasta:

Its a small wonder why divorce rates are soaring high.

I guess it is easier to maintain net gangsterism and play the devil's advocate than to maintain a healthy relationship nowadays.

big_bumper:

Hence the reason i said i do not totally support her act, but truth be told, the guy is a control freak.

So say we all.

big_bumper:

Hence the reason i said i do not totally support her act, but truth be told, the guy is a control freak.

you never answered my question. What would YOU do?   Be secure too?

ibkaye:

People are just assuming, I'm sure that many people here did not actually read the poster's post, or rather, just skimmed through it, where on earth did the so called possessiveness etc come in? 

Even Ibkaye can see this.  

~Sauron~:

Follow me to bed?
See this alakoba

Ewuu, you go to your bed, I follow your lead and go to mine  

davidylan:

when did he ever do this? Are you reading a different thread?

Lmao . . . . i had to go and read the story again cuz i dont remember where the guy told the poster to only talk to girls

I don't think some people read this thread at all.
The OPs boyfriend never banned her from talking to guys. Up till that day, he never called her to disturb
her when she was chilling with her friends.
The guy just would give her advice, so she wouldnt be taken advantage of.
Thats what a correct BF would do.
The OP admitted something like that (being taken adv of) had happened before.
The bf didnt do any wrong.
I am sure the people defending the OP are people who do the same to their loved ones.
If you want an excellent relationship, then pay the price.
Else, remain free.
And please read the OPs posts before bashing anyone. Not getting the facts right before talking is one of the things
which can kill a relationship, and thats what some of you are doing.

davidylan:

Even Ibkaye can see this.  

Thats because she is NL's baby paris hilton

oyinda.:

I will have to blame both of you. You were foolish to cheat on him and give him reasons to distrust you.
he is stupid for indirectly banning you from seeing your male friends. [/b]this will create more problems 'cause then you will lie to him (about your whereabouts etc) for fear that he's suspicious of you and he won't believe you because he sees you as a liar and cheat.

I will have to agree with Michelin89 here that [b]your bf has no right to say you can only talk to girls. What's the point of keeping a relationship without trust?
Best thing is to sit down with him and explain how you feel. matter of fact, re-read what you wrote on here to him if you don't know what to tell him. lol  If he wants you'll he'll say so. If he doesn't then go your separate ways!!! you will meet someone else and learn not to lose his trust so this situation won't repeat itself.

Tsk tsk.  I strongly disagree.  He is not stupid. She was not banned. You tried to inject your own meaning into the post.  The boyfriend never said she can only talk to girls.  The girl said "a very little part of his talks have been bothering on his being able to trust me with my male friends" .  Keywords: A VERY LITTLE PART.  


He simply expressed his feelings to his girl about her inner dealings with members of the male species.  You should be able to express yourself in a serious relationship.

tope5000:

Thats because she is NL's baby paris hilton

See your mouth

kay_pumpin:

The tell-tale signs are always there before the big crash.
Ere ki l'aja n b'ekun se?
[b]What kinda male friend will my woman have that will require her "attention" as early as 8 am,[/b]to the point her primary assignment was relegated to the background

8 am in the morning? Cheese n Rice.
She prolly went there to take her black coffee and cream.
Let's face it, some women have no decorum.

ibkaye:

Ewuu, you go to your bed, I follow your lead and go to mine  

I won't let you send me to Prison.

~Sauron~:


I won't let you send me to Prison.

Look see, I'm not jailbait, I'm like almost clocking 30 even

ibkaye:

Look see, I'm not jailbait, I'm like almost clocking 30 even

Like HSBC, i need your proof of identity.

part of his talks have been bothering on his being able to trust me with my male friends which am 1 million percent sure i have absolutely nothing with them,

I guess he didn't "say" it. But it is implied from her post that her bf doesn't want her to see her male friends. And that's why she couldn't tell him where she was when she went to see her male friend instead of going to work. I mean if she was with her female friend she wouldn't find herself "cutting the call" or have problems telling her bf the truth.

~Sauron~:

8 am in the morning? Cheese n Rice.
She prolly went there to take her black coffee and cream.
Let's face it, some women have no decorum.

lol
maybe she just decided to bunk work n hang out with her male friend too

kay_pumpin:

What kinda male friend will my woman have that will require her "attention" as early as 8 am,to the point her primary assignment was relegated to the background

LOL    

oyinda.:

I guess he didn't "say" it. But it is implied from her post that her bf doesn't want her to see her male friends. And that's why she couldn't tell him where she was when she went to see her male friend instead of going to work. I mean if she was with her female friend she wouldn't find herself "cutting the call" or have problems telling her bf the truth.

no one but you can imply such a far fetched untruth. She couldnt tell him where she was because even she realised it wouldnt make sense . . . at a man's house at 8am when you shld be in school? Puhlease.

oyinda.:

I guess he didn't "say" it. But it is implied from her post that her bf doesn't want her to see her male friends. And that's why she couldn't tell him where she was when she went to see her male friend instead of going to work. I mean if she was with her female friend she wouldn't find herself "cutting the call" or have problems telling her bf the truth.

can u pls copy n paste the poster's story and bold the places where that was said.

davidylan:

no one but you can imply such a far fetched untruth. She couldnt tell him where she was because even she realised it wouldnt make sense . . . at a man's house at 8am when you shld be in school? Puhlease.

it's funny how she never mentioned 8am in her post. All she said was morning. . lol and she was supposed to be at work.

The quote from her post below shows that the boyfriend doesn't like her to visit her male friends.

part of his talks have been bothering on his being able to trust me with my male friends which am 1 million percent sure i have absolutely nothing with them,

tope5000:

can u pls copy n paste the poster's story and bold the places where that was said.

funny how you found 8am (falsehood) in her post but you didn't see the parts that are more crucial to her story.

I have been in a relationship with this guy for sometime now,we really meant business in this relationship cos we designed to marry each other,at a point i became careless with the affair cos of reasons I thought were reason enough ,he spoke to me severally over my actions but somehow I just didnt see myself listening ,partly because i was inexperienced and partly cos i thought there wasnt [b]any need for the talks cos part though a very little part of his talks have been bothering on his being able to trust me with my male friends which am 1 million percent sure i have absolutely nothing with them,[/b]I mean I love this guy but i would accept i was careless.The last straw that broke the carmels back was that one  morning he called me,i was supposed to be at work but was just chilling with a friend(male) nothing was going on,he asked where i was i said i was with a friend,and he asked could he know my friends name ,i found myself cutting the call,he called severally i kept busying the call,somehow i felt somehow telling him my friends name while my friend was there and knowing fully well that he wouldnt let go untill i tell him whom i was with and knowing him,he could possibly ask to speak with the person, am not doing anything with these guy i was with he was just a friend, but this has destroyed my relationship with the man i love, am not saying i was right in my actions but i dont know what to do to win him back, i suddenly realised all he has been telling me, everything now makes sense, i cant imagine throwing away the dreams we shared ,the plans we made , this thing is killing me, please advice me , what do i do to get him be the loving, caring and patient guy he always was.[/b]

oyinda.:

it's funny how she never mentioned 8am in her post. All she said was morning. .  lol and she was supposed to be at work.

The quote from her post below shows that the boyfriend doesn't like her to visit her male friends.

Well if she didnt have anything to hide
why this?

was supposed to be at work but was just chilling with a friend(male) nothing was going on,he asked where i was i said i was with a friend,and he asked could he know my friends name ,i found myself cutting the call,he called severally i kept busying the call,somehow i felt uncomfortable telling him my friends name while my friend was there and knowing fully well that he wouldnt let go untill i told him whom i was with and knowing him,he could possibly ask to speak with the person,

if she has nothing to hide. . . he wud let the guy speak to her friend

@oyinda
I dont care if it was 10am . . . what she did was fishy

oyinda.:

The quote from her post below shows that the boyfriend doesn't like her to visit her male friends.

My 20-20 vision disagrees.  We must be reading different posts.

oyinda.:

it's funny how she never mentioned 8am in her post. All she said was morning. . lol and she was supposed to be at work.

those are minor overlooked details that dont detract from the main points at all.

oyinda.:

The quote from her post below shows that the boyfriend doesn't like her to visit her male friends.

Now this is a serious flaw as it is basically your own opinion. Her post does not convey any such claims.

follypimpi:


So cutting the phone is now the best option  

no one said that. that's why I said they were both at fault. If she hadn't cheated on him before, she would be able to tell him where she was w/o any fear.

Here comes another Michelin in disguise.

call the rest of your gang and jump on me then. mtchew

I have been in a relationship with this guy for sometime now,we really meant business in this relationship cos we designed to marry each other,at a point i became careless with the affair cos of reasons I thought were reason enough ,he spoke to me severally over my actions but somehow I just didnt see myself listening ,partly because i was inexperienced and partly cos i thought there wasnt any need for the talks cos part though a very little part of his talks have been bothering on his being able to trust me with my male friends which am 1 million percent sure i have absolutely nothing with them,

The poster stated that he has not really been able to trust her with her male friends, not that he neccesarily banned her from seeing any of them and with behaviour such as skipping work to visit her male friend and cutting the phone when all he did was simply ask for the friend's name, who could blame him.

He has a reason to not really trust her with her male friends, let's be realistic about this, the guy is only human, plus, this is someone he has discussed marriage with, not some short term fling, he needs all the trust he can get, give him a break.

ibkaye:

The poster stated that he has not really been able to trust her with her male friends, not that he neccesarily banned her from seeing any of them and with behaviour such as skipping work to visit her male friend and cutting the phone when all he did was simply ask for the friend's name, who could blame him.

He has a reason to not really trust her with her male friends, let's be realistic about this, the guy is only human, plus, this is someone he has discussed marriage with, not some short term fling, he needs all the trust he can get, give him a break.

Ibk . . . na wa o . . . you get sense pass all these people.

davidylan:

those are minor overlooked details that dont detract from the main points at all.

yes it does detract from the main point. 8am is very early in the morning and a suspicious time to be with a male friend unless there is reason behind it rather than just chilling
The context in which the specific time was used is also evident of what Kay_pumpin was implying. read his post below:

What kinda male friend will my woman have that will require her "attention" as early as 8 am,to the point her primary assignment was relegated to the background

The poster never mentioned that she rushed urgently to a guy's house very early in the morning when all she said was that she was chilling at her male friend's house in the morning. those two different scenarios imply two different things.

davidylan:

Ibk . . . na wa o . . . you get sense pass all these people.

LOL
Sista michellin wont be ibkaye's friend anymore