oyinda.:

yes it does detract from the main point. 8am is very early in the morning and a suspicious time to be with a male friend unless there is reason behind it rather than just chilling
The context in which the specific time was used is also evident of what Kay_pumpin was implying. read his post below:

The poster never mentioned that she rushed urgently to a guy's house very early in the morning when all she said was that she was chilling at her male friend's house in the morning. those two different scenarios imply two different things.

It doesnt at all. Except of course you're only trying to defend your own baseless point.

Lets assume the time was 11.45am . . . she was supposed to be at work. the dude assumes his wife-to-be is working hard only to find out she's "chilling" in the home of another man? What is the meaning of "chilling"? And why is she afraid to pick his calls and talk to him openly if nothing was going on?

oyinda.:

yes it does detract from the main point. 8am is very early in the morning and a suspicious time to be with a male friend unless there is reason behind it rather than just chilling

8am or 4pm, the OP has no decorum.

oyinda.:

yes it does detract from the main point. 8am is very early in the morning and a suspicious time to be with a male friend unless there is reason behind it rather than just chilling

I disagree.  The main point is that your girl is a cheat.  She skipped work to hang out at a boy's house, the boy is not her boyfriend.  Her serious boyfriend called to inquire about her whereabouts, but she collapsed and hung up on him because she was cheating.

And that is just one of her many offences.   Time has little to do with her irresponsibility.  Cheating at 8am or 11am is stll cheating.

ibkaye:

The poster stated that he has not really been able to trust her with her male friends, not that he neccesarily banned her from seeing any of them and with behaviour such as skipping work to visit her male friend and cutting the phone when all he did was simply ask for the friend's name, who could blame him.

He has a reason to not really trust her with her male friends, let's be realistic about this, the guy is only human, plus, this is someone he has discussed marriage with, not some short term fling, he needs all the trust he can get, give him a break.

yes he has reason not to trust her with her male friends. I said that before. lol  read my first post.

what do you suggest the girl should do? If she's not cheating on him anymore how can she gain enough of his trust to be able to visit her male friends w/o the bf casting shadows of doubt?
Should the bf also be more forgiving towards her? etc

oyinda.:

Should the bf also be more forgiving towards her? etc

you'd be more forgiving too if your bf was cheating on you?
You people are hypocrites.

oyinda.:

yes he has reason not to trust her with her male friends. I said that before. lol  read my first post.

what do you suggest the girl should do? If she's not cheating on him anymore how can she gain enough of his trust to be able to visit her male friends w/o the bf casting shadows of doubt?
Should the bf also be more forgiving towards her? etc

If the script was flipped. . . .shey you wont mind if ur bf ditched work and went to his female friend's house too?

It doesnt at all. Except of course you're only trying to defend your own baseless point.

I again agree.  Her points are baseless indeed.  She tried to insinuate that the boy banned the girl from talking to guys, and when that didn't fly she latched on to something else to divert focus.

I detest it when in one's bid to seem a voice of reason you pick on non-germane points.

8am or 11.59 am,what does it change about a lady who refused to be in school and hang out with a male friend in whose presence he can not talk to her man?

This issue doesn't even deserve these number of pages BUT for the OP to caused to face an emotional guillotine,which is what she deserves.

Thank God for some ladies here with common sense,for a moment i thought morals have travelled to Niger-Delta in form of a white man and have been kidnapped.

tope5000:

If the script was flipped. . . .shey you wont mind if ur bf ditched work and went to his female friend's house too?

I wonder . . . perhaps she'd just shrug it off as one of those things.

kay_pumpin:

I detest it when in one's bid to seem a voice of reason you pick on non-germane points.

8am or 11.59 am,what does it change about a lady who refused to be in school and hang out with a male friend in whose presence he can not talk to her man?

   She is all over the place.

kay_pumpin:

I detest it when in one's bid to seem a voice of reason you pick on non-germane points.
8am or 11.59 am,what does it change about a lady who refused to be in school and hang out with a male friend in whose presence he can not talk to her man?

She was supposed to be at work but she was having her ass spanked in the crib of another man.
I am not even pissed at her despicable behaviour but the effrontery to come to a public forum and ask for help.
What a Arrow!!!!

oyinda.:

yes he has reason not to trust her with her male friends. I said that before. lol  read my first post.

what do you suggest the girl should do? If she's not cheating on him anymore how can she gain enough of his trust to be able to visit her male friends w/o the bf casting shadows of doubt?
Should the bf also be more forgiving towards her? etc

Well, the girl will just need to realise that the trust he had for her in the past cannot just be regained like that after a few apologies and discussions, that is not to say he will totally distrust her, the trust just won't be as solid as before, like I said, everyone makes mistakes and with mistakes, consequences often follow. She stated that she loves this guy, she will need to work hard at the relationship in order to try and regain his full trust, maybe introduce these male friends to her boyfriend, they could even be friends, especially since she states she has nothing to do with them, therefore introducing them to the boyfriend should be no problem.

The boyfriend should also forgive her but he most likely will not forget it, hence the reason he may be doubtful of her in the future, but that's why they need to work hard at the relationship, breakthrough any obstacles than come in their way, as like I said, they have both seen each other as potential marriage material, more of a reason to work HARD. That's if, they are both willing sha, up to them.

If she's not cheating on him anymore how can she gain enough of his trust to be able to visit her male friends w/o the bf casting shadows of doubt?

Cheating once is enough.  One strike and you're out.  Cheater should not give the boyfriend an ultimatum on when to stop casting shadows of doubt.  Her trifling led to his distrust, so now she must learn to deal with the consequence.

davidylan:

I wonder . . . perhaps she'd just shrug it off as one of those things.

Shrug wetin off, abi no be us women

Some women thinks that men are ganging up on the poster so they are backing the poster up cus she is a female . . . . . .pity
What she did was wrong  . . . PLAIN and SIMPLE, nobody shud try and sugacoat it

~Sauron~:

She was supposed to be at work but she was having her ass spanked in the crib of another man.
I am not even pissed at her despicable behaviour but the effrontery to come to a public forum and ask for help.
What a Arrow!!!!

Too much of Nollywood is bad

And that is just one of her many offences.   Time has little to do with her irresponsibility.  Cheating at 8am or 11am is stll cheating.

  she was chilling at her friends house not cheating. lol

Actually I re-read the topic and NOWHERE on there did she say that she ever cheated on her boyfriend.  
her writing is not very clear most times so it can be hard to analyze it. It's also easy to imply a lot of things she probably didn't intend to be implied.

apparently the reason they have a problem in their relationship is:
1. the things that seemed trivial to her were more important to him (she didn't say what these things were)  
2. one of the "things" was that her bf doesn't trust her with her male friends which she found very trivial again (i would too)

her faults here then is not listening to her bf, lying to him
her boyfriend's fault here is taking trivial things to seriously, jealous


then again this is my own analysis of the matter

oyinda.:

  she was chilling at her friends house not cheating. lol

Actually I re-read the topic and NOWHERE on there did she say that she ever cheated on her boyfriend.  
her writing is not very clear most times so it can be hard to analyze it. It's also easy to imply a lot of things she probably didn't intend to be implied.

Honey we are quoting from 3 different threads
She posted this story three times . . .with some bits removed whenever she re-post it

oyinda.:

  she was chilling at her friends house not cheating. lol

Actually I re-read the topic and NOWHERE on there did she say that she ever cheated on her boyfriend.  
her writing is not very clear most times so it can be hard to analyze it. It's also easy to imply a lot of things she probably didn't intend to be implied.

apparently the reason they have a problem in their relationship is:
1. the things that seemed trivial to her were more important to him (she didn't say what these things were)  
2. one of the "things" was that her bf doesn't trust her with her male friends which she found very trivial again (i would too)

her faults here then is not listening to her bf, lying to him
her boyfriend's fault here is taking trivial things to seriously, jealous


then again this is my own analysis of the matter

this girl is funny. Trust is a "trivial" matter? Respect is "trivial"?  

Wait till your bf skips work to "chill" at another woman's house.

oyinda.:

  she was chilling at her friends house not cheating. lol

Actually I re-read the topic and NOWHERE on there did she say that she ever cheated on her boyfriend.  
her writing is not very clear most times so it can be hard to analyze it. It's also easy to imply a lot of things she probably didn't intend to be implied.

apparently the reason they have a problem in their relationship is:
1. the things that seemed trivial to her were more important to him (she didn't say what these things were)  
2. one of the "things" was that her bf doesn't trust her with her male friends which she found very trivial again (i would too)

her faults here then is not listening to her bf, lying to him
her boyfriend's fault here is taking trivial things to seriously, jealous


then again this is my own analysis of the matter

CAn you please make up your mind?  You yourself accused her of cheating.  I was only going with the flow of your post.
Your girl is here because she has reason to be worried.  She got caught playing the dude, now she pays the price.

tope5000:

Honey we are quoting from 3 different threads
She posted this story three times . . .with some bits removed whenever she re-post it  

lol. can you post those stories here if they're on other threads so we can get to the roots of the matter?  
this is like detective work .lol

davidylan:

this girl is funny. Trust is a "trivial" matter? Respect is "trivial"?  

Wait till your bf skips work to "chill" at another woman's house.

Lol. . . is oyinda michellin

Na una all sabi, now that the dude has moved on to better things, watch the OP come back to really spill the bean on what happened, and how stiffling and controlling the guy really is and
I will singlehandedly make all of you eat your words

oyinda.:

lol. can you post those stories here if they're on other threads so we can get to the roots of the matter?  
this is like detective work .lol

She aint worth the effort

davidylan:

this girl is funny. Trust is a "trivial" matter? Respect is "trivial"?  

Wait till your bf skips work to "chill" at another woman's house.

Nope.  Trust and respect are never trivial in serious relationships.  There will be no "together" without trust and respect for your partner.  If there is a "together" it would be unhealthy and it will fail quickly.

big_bumper:

Na una all sabi, now that the dude has moved on to better things, watch the OP come back to really spill the bean on what happened, and how stiffling and controlling the guy really is and
I will singlehandedly make all of you eat your words

At least you're the one eating yours now abi   Abeg drink plenty water o.

tope5000:

Lol. . . is oyinda michellin

Nope.
They are Siamese twins co-joined in the hip.

C2H5OH:

CAn you please make up your mind?  You yourself accused her of cheating.  I was only going with the flow of your post.
Your girl is here because she has reason to be worried.  She got caught playing the dude, now she pays the price.

yea because everyone was saying she was cheating and I reread her post and didn't find evidence of that there. I was also going with the flow of YOUR post. lol
her writing is not very clear and like tope said, she is omitting somethings that are important to figuring things out.
of course she has reason to be worried.  lol
I just thought that it must be really serious for a girlfriend to be scared to tell her bf she was at her male friend's house because of "male friend trust issues" In that situation, then partial blame def. goes to the bf, in my opinion.  why remain in a relationship like that?

~Sauron~:

Nope.
They are Siamese twins co-joined in the hip.

lol. Repeat to yourself: It is okay to think for yourself. it is NOT ok to follow band-wagon at all times.
oya start repeating

~Sauron~:

Nope.
They are Siamese twins co-joined in the hip.

Lmao
I bet they both have been guilty of this offence . . .cuz i dont know why they are defending the poster so badly

oyinda.:

lol. Repeat to yourself: It is okay to think for yourself. it is NOT ok to follow band-wagon at all times.
oya start repeating 

Its def michellin . . . . im sure of it

oyinda.:

lol. Repeat to yourself: It is okay to think for yourself. it is NOT ok to follow band-wagon at all times.
oya start repeating

Follow band-wagon?
I read situations well and make ma deductions.
This girl is GUILTY as charged.

mandycini:

I get what you guys are saying,but He wouldnt have been happy if I told him I was with a guy, i just couldnt tell him,

Why can't she tell him she is at a guy's place Isn't it because she was scared of his controlling nature