Ok, mek I sleep, I go see the answer for dream

oloba:
U need a good Slap to reset ur brain.

I don read almost all comment, na urs like pass...

Thanks

Lawz20:
Good day my fellow Nairalanders, I have a very serious problem which I so much believe that with your kind and generous advice, I might take the right step. I met this girl around April 2012 at my work place and since then we have been together after I proposed to her last year. The fact is I love her so much and I thought she also loves me.

I went down with her to her village around April 2014 to see her parents formally and they were so happy, her mum, dad, grand parents and even her siblings welcomed me wholeheartedly and I was so happy. I stayed with them for two weeks just to see if I can picture out any bad behavior but seriously, non was found.

The problem am having with her is that she has too much male friends and most of them are always sending her love messages both on 2go and Facebook. I once stumble on her Facebook inbox and I found a chat between her and another guy and he was just thanking her for coming to spend good time with him, bla bla bla and how he enjoyed her. I was so mad because during this period she went to the village alone and promised to return in a week but she didn't until after 3 weeks, this is what she always do, she travels like 4-5 times in a year and never return on time. When she returned, I confronted her and she said she is not the one that did that chat with the guy, I tried asking her who did but she never gave me a good answer.

Later that week, she gave me her phone to help her charge it in a barbing saloon, then a strange number called and I picked, the person hissed and cut the call, he later sent a message saying, "you're picking my wife's call and asking me who it is" I replied him that he should check the number that he might be wrong, he then mentioned her name. I went back home to ask my fiancee who own that number then she said its that guy I saw his chat and I should not worry, she will fix it.

Recently again, she has travelled and up till this moment, she is not back, she promised she won't stay upto 2 weeks but yesterday makes it 5 weeks. That same yesterday, my mum's pastor asked my mum to call me that he has a message for me which I later went, he greeted me and say, while he was praying for me because of my mums request, that he was shown that the lady I am planning of marrying is not mine alone, that if I go ahead to marry her, she will wreck me and leave me, he said she travelled now and I said yes, he said she was seeing someone else in the village, he said if I doubt him, I should go ahead.

It was then my mum now said, my younger sister told her of a dream she had, that I caught my fiancee with another guy and it leads to a fight which the said guy killed me. I myself have had such dreams too. The pastor gave me 3 days fasting and prayer. I am confused, despite all her cunning ways I still love her but what should I do and how do I go about leaving her. I will be 30 by 5th April, am not getting any younger. Please advice.

DUDE ARE U FOR REAL? NA NAIJA GIRL U DEY TRUST? LOL SERIOUSLY BRO

Ho My Friend, u don't need any advice than those you confirmed and seen yourself, talkless the one pastor told u, not to talk of the one u got through dream, my friend run for your life, a lot of better wife outside for you, look for the one that will give you rest of mind. Please and please follow instructions don't enter wrong hands.

Lawz20:
Good day my fellow Nairalanders, I have a very serious problem which I so much believe that with your kind and generous advice, I might take the right step. I met this girl around April 2012 at my work place and since then we have been together after I proposed to her last year. The fact is I love her so much and I thought she also loves me.

I went down with her to her village around April 2014 to see her parents formally and they were so happy, her mum, dad, grand parents and even her siblings welcomed me wholeheartedly and I was so happy. I stayed with them for two weeks just to see if I can picture out any bad behavior but seriously, non was found.

The problem am having with her is that she has too much male friends and most of them are always sending her love messages both on 2go and Facebook. I once stumble on her Facebook inbox and I found a chat between her and another guy and he was just thanking her for coming to spend good time with him, bla bla bla and how he enjoyed her. I was so mad because during this period she went to the village alone and promised to return in a week but she didn't until after 3 weeks, this is what she always do, she travels like 4-5 times in a year and never return on time. When she returned, I confronted her and she said she is not the one that did that chat with the guy, I tried asking her who did but she never gave me a good answer.

Later that week, she gave me her phone to help her charge it in a barbing saloon, then a strange number called and I picked, the person hissed and cut the call, he later sent a message saying, "you're picking my wife's call and asking me who it is" I replied him that he should check the number that he might be wrong, he then mentioned her name. I went back home to ask my fiancee who own that number then she said its that guy I saw his chat and I should not worry, she will fix it.

Recently again, she has travelled and up till this moment, she is not back, she promised she won't stay upto 2 weeks but yesterday makes it 5 weeks. That same yesterday, my mum's pastor asked my mum to call me that he has a message for me which I later went, he greeted me and say, while he was praying for me because of my mums request, that he was shown that the lady I am planning of marrying is not mine alone, that if I go ahead to marry her, she will wreck me and leave me, he said she travelled now and I said yes, he said she was seeing someone else in the village, he said if I doubt him, I should go ahead.

It was then my mum now said, my younger sister told her of a dream she had, that I caught my fiancee with another guy and it leads to a fight which the said guy killed me. I myself have had such dreams too. The pastor gave me 3 days fasting and prayer. I am confused, despite all her cunning ways I still love her but what should I do and how do I go about leaving her. I will be 30 by 5th April, am not getting any younger. Please advice.

Lol you're my birthday mate

When you decide to snoop around,you would always find something. That being said,you shouldn't rush into marriage because u feel you're getting old,it should be because you have found the right person.There re questions you need to answer, and maybe that will help you in deciding your next course of action.

1: what are her reasons of travelling?

2:since she habitually gets to over stay whenever she travels,what explanations does she give whenever she returns?

3:what is the current state of her family finances ( is she with you because you re rich and can help her family)?

4: Do you think/ believe she is cheating on you,because if you think/believe so then there is no need of still being with someone you don't trust ?

5: Is her family aware of the fact she always over stay the stipulated time she gives for her return,and what have they done about it.?

Sit her down and talk to her. If after the conversation you re not convinced,you would have to let her go. It will hurt real bad. But you will be fine in the end. All the best

@Lawz20, u dont need a prophet to tell u d obvious. All u hv seen are warnings signs, and u knw what hapens when u are driving and ignorings d warning signs on road when thete is a ditch ahead. Dont be fooled by yr emotions in d name of love let reasoning take over yr desition.

Its obvious u are her spare tyre. u beter keep off from her and move on with yr live. look for a better person. Mariage is not a day thing . A broken relatnship is better than a broken mariage. its a desition that wount be easy for u to make , but u have to make it for yr own goodand yr future family

My friend you are 30yrs so what? D'you need anyone to tell u this is not your girl?

Oya go marry her na, call me when you need a divorce lawyer.

Uchu

PiperAlpha:
Jeeez...Sissies everywhere!

Seriously

My people will say d stone you saw coming will never blind your eye. You don't need a soothsayers to tell you what to do from your explanation. What is happening is visible to d blind and audible to d deaf. Pls do d needful (leave the relationship immediately). Am talking from experience. Love is not blind.

My Brother I feel for you honestly. First thing first is that from your post you sound like someone whose's self esteem has dropped, you sound really confused. This is bad, very bad for a man. If you are a true christian then you should know what you are wonderfully and beautifully made. This words alone should make you look @yourself and realise that truely you deserve the best in life and from the way you sound you are not getting that right now. I wouldn't want to get too deep into this whole drama but let me just focus on a particular area I smell danger in your life. Your safety health wise. I'm sure you guys must have had unprotected sex on several occassion. If truely you girl is sleeping out then there's every possibility that you might have contacted a disease @ one time or the other. Let's even imagine her "supposedly husband " is one randy dude who sleeps with numerous girls without protection. She gets to the villa, sleeps with him, carries all his nonsense in her and comes back and dumps all the nonsense @ur doorstep. Geezzz!!!!! This thinking alone irritates me a lot, bur like it or not, that's the truth. Look you say or claim you love her bur I assure you that the moment you start thinkinh about this the sooner you will realise you do have the right to kill whatever feelong you have for her. You don't sound violent so Bleep whoever says you should have respected her privacy by not checking her phone and picking her calls. If she has the right to ask you for money most times then you also have the right to do those things, its called being safe. On a concluding note, think about your parents, your sibblings, your friends, do you think they deserve the pain they'll get wn you get yourself into trouble because of this lady?, cos to me you seem to be heading for doom if you don't listern to what your pastor, who obviously don't know her but was able to get his revelation on point, and the nairalanders here that have maturedly given you great advises here. Instead of thinking about her all the time and deceiving yourself that you love her why not think about the consequence of staying in that relationship. What you should be asking now is how do you go about getting her off your life?

McCarlito:
I don't have a problem with my lady's inbox messages....The only place I have a problem with her is about her outbox (sent messages that's where the truth is found).

Picking her calls without her consent and spying on her with intent to catch her cheating is wrong... She gave u her fone to charge and u switched it on waiting for who to call her and u gladly picked her calls expecting to be respected by the caller that's childish bro...

She travels for weeks without u querying someone in her family about her frequent visits to her village and wait their replies.. As she's not her village town crier..

Concerning ur pastors revelations and tastings and prayers..... don't forget many homes have been ruined and relationships ended because of "My Pastor said this syndrome"

Bro.... don't rush to get married because of age as that is not a great reason to marry... Since u still love this lady as u said above; u have to call her to a quiet place and have a heart-to-heart convo with her to identify what is it that u are not doing or u are doing that is making her live a nomadic and promiscuous lifestyle...
Don't be surprised Bro.... the problems might be u.. or some other factors u are overlooking.....



My sincere advise would be for u To move on with ur life SIMPLE
Cheers...

if u want to be objective, you think like that. But sometimes u need not be cos the facts are everywhere. The guy did not just suspecting his girl spontaneously, something triggered it. The moment one starts feeling imsecure suspicion sets in. You can't possibly blame the dude. I will advice he tear race, waka comot.

Lawz20:
I do and how do I go about leaving her. I will be 30 by 5th April, am not getting any younger. Please advice.

u are a zombie

Lawz20:


Well said bro, the fact is we talk everyday like 3 to 5 times, sometimes she picks just to say she'll call back or flash me that she's busy but at the end, she neither call nor flash. I know relationship is not a do or die affair but the fact is, I don't want to be changing girls like cloths. This is not the first time am suffering from relationship breakdown. Well thanks all the way.

The truth of the matter is that she's trying to keep you at the other end just in case the others didn't work. You're just a spare tyre to her. Funny enough, you don't know your position among her 'fans'

Bro, You'd better go collect your ring from her.

my broda if u no hw 2 run u better run and over take her b4 is 2late

go ahead and marry her. forget about what the pastor is saying.
pls don't forget to give us direction to ur village so we come for ur burial when it's time. thanks.

Just go ahead and marry her so you can confirm your instinct, your mum, your sibling and pastor were all right She travels for weeks means she is not doing anything meaningful
You have heard and seen enough already, cast aside that your love line and talk,please move on.

What will I say?

Bros.. U have seen, heard, feel and touched Urself there is no advice or yard stick to confirm to U that; U have to leave that Chick b4 what happened in 1952 repeat itself.

U r talking of age, I am 33, my chick also committed similar crime, I have to discharge her immediately and go ahead for my Msc., since no work.

U r lucky U have work, u can easily get another chick. So why worry, hakuna matata.

9japrof:
your story lost credibility to me when you started this pastor ish, your pastor saw this and that bullshit. when would we make decision and Bleep the decision of these so called Fake Men of God. When the consequences come tumbling down it is you that would suffer it.

That said, the babe is not honest with you, you are playing with fire, a babe who is not honest with you shouldn't be wifed , else you are heading for the rocks. The babe has numerous other male friends who you compete with in shining her Congo and the truth is that this babe have made you too gullible that you believe all the bullshits that she throws to your face.

Bros retract from your self induced slumber, quit any investment on her cos Na bad ROI, and start looking for a better half.

Kai op 'shining Congo' is one word I've not heard from any one in a long time! Be like say you be ABUsite abi!

Back to the matter, oga if i be you ehn i for don kick that olosho ass comot for my face since o. E just be say ehn I understand, emotions are quite hard to deal with but you can f*ck it anyways! As for pastors, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

I must sympathize with u knowing fully well wat u are going tru. But I av just one good news for u. Wen a man takes ur woman d best vengeance is to let her go with him. Secondly never lure a woman into marriage else she will express her grievances. Thirdly a woman u can't trust don't marry. Fourthly any relationship with sex dat later ends with marriage there must b cheating. Lastly no marriage is perfect,not even my dad n mum, urs n others, but she who God has prepared for u shall never cheat in ur marriage even if u do. Bross quit dat relationship. Ur spirit is not at rest n dats a clear sign she is unfaithful. Wat is happening to u now is also affecting u spiritually cos she is planning ur ruin wen she is done she will go. So y not quit n ask for God directions. May God help u

Bro,my candid advice is that u nid to really wake-up.Think bro pls think again I say think this is not about being 30yrs of age or dat u are not getting older for Godsake we are considering marriage here an institution meant to be enjoy forever,i jst feel deep down me dat u guys are not a perfect score for eachother,remember a woman dat hve chosen to be cunning will continually to do so.Pls wake up even she is using juju on u again I say wake up,u got God's cover so wake up,think bro.

Lawz20:
I will be 30 by 5th April, am not
getting any younger. Please advice.

you ain't getting younger neither are you getting wiser!! It would have been better you didn't state your age.

you complicated the story when you introduced the pastor & dream angle because without those factor , what you wrote was enough to call it quits.

If you can't see the hand writing on the wall when it's this clear, how then will you be able to handle your home when you get married even to another lady, when other serious challenges arise.

Bro go work on yourself, you ain't ready for marriage.

You Sef you stayed with the lady's family for 2weeks, you get work so? Yet you haven't confirmed from them whenever she embarks on these visits to the village o, pls go ahead & marry her, experience is the best teacher

You will be another LFI(Learning from incidence) for nairalanders

this life is very short.

if u dont want to live long, continue with her
.
Thank God for your mother whose prayers is working for u.

U av seen all d signs yet u till av affection for her, meaning u dont value ur life.

i know is not easy to quit bc u re madly inlove but u av let her go without reason. Remember u dont marry out of pity or condition.

ClassCaptain:
. Have u tried calling them and making findings from them anytime your girl travels to the village. Have u at anytime reported this behaviour to her family.


Unfortunately, it seems the girl family is in support of this .

U travelled and spent two weeks with them in the village and they welcomed you warmly yet she comes to the village and spends time with some other guy, yet they refuse to act.

. I am pretty sure her family knows about the relationship with the other guy in the village and they perceive you as the milo,bournvita and yards of ankara bringing other guy who supplies food for the family.

A bad wife can be managed, but bad inlaws cannot be handled.

fu*k it, all your advice made sense till the last paragraph, how can you tell me that bad wife can be managed ? Bad in what sense ? maybe bad cook I guess, cos that's the only thing that you can manage if its the only thing that's bad in a woman. So you mean that if a woman has attitude, nags endlessly, a cheat and squanders your wealth arbitrarily, that on a scale of preference you would prefer this kind of woman to bad in laws.

Damn Seun should ban all this "wussys" who come to Nairaland to post shit, please ma boyfriend of 10 years cheated on me what should I do? my girl is sleeping with her cousin what should I do ? The why the fu.c.k did God give you brain if not to use it. Nairaland Romance section sucks these days, its like kids don take over

As the internet expands, it seems the ability for men to put their brains to use has reduced drastically. Now people come online to seek advices from complete strangers who probably are dealing with the same issue even in a worse form. SMH

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Since you have enough evidence that the girl can be poisonous for as a future partner, don't risk it just let her go and look for another lady.you said you are already 30, remember!!! it is not how far but how well.

Run for your life

BerryScott:
nawa oo

brother, jst do d 3days fasting 1st. we culd start wif dt

him so love nearly finish you abi. my advise ti the guy is that he should just forget about the girl and movr on with life cos "igbonran dan ju ebo lo, ifetisile san ju ora agbo lo" ..in yoruba bible. so that you dont regreat in life. you hear me sooo. dont ask her anything oooo run for you dear life at 30 ure not too old friend

I hope you have been bleeping her per second per second,because the next time this lady travels for two weeks she is going for her wedding with the guy she has been chatting with.