Is it possible to marry and have a successful marriage without loving?

In the era of rushed marriages, dating without clear defined purpose, arranged marriages, I must marry by Dec 31st, my pastor hooked me up, close associates weddings, in the haste to get settled people are coerced into marriages for different reasons, the foundation of relationships are not clearly defined. With this said, is it possible to marry and then love later? How does it feel like to marry on credit, waiting for love to develop later down the line.... Can one be in a marriage with a partner that's not really loved?

romantic love based on feelings is the greatest curse in the world.coz feelings keep changing.and people keep divorcing.
arranged marriages or marriages as business transactions are better.they seem to last. when two people meet to openly exploit one another it makes for abiding unions. i know a man who married a woman with the express purpose of her giving him kids,while the man moves heaven and earth to make her life the sweetest most comfortable life he could give her. they are now old together. other couples who married out of romance have long divorced and re-married.
the love that takes its time to grow for a person lasts and lasts. the one you learn to love is the one you grow old with.

ubunja:
romantic love based on feelings is the greatest curse in the world.coz feelings keep changing.and people keep divorcing.
arranged marriages or marriages as business transactions are better.they seem to last. when two people meet to openly exploit one another it makes for abiding unions. i know a man who married a woman with the express purpose of her giving him kids,while the man moves heaven and earth to make her life the sweetest most comfortable life he could give her. they are now old together. other couples who married out of romance have long divorced and re-married.
the love that takes its time to grow for a person lasts and lasts. the one you learn to love is the one you grow old with.

So Ubunja, you feel just get married and develop feelings for the person is much better than marrying someone you have feelings for...is this what you mean?

Its possible but you will regret it.

Jupxter:



So Ubunja, you feel just get married and develop feelings for the person is much better than marrying someone you have feelings for...is this what you mean?

YES SIR.
Romantic Love is sh!t. it didnt even exist until the Romans created it.hence the name (google is your friend)the love between man and woman was called Eros.that one in Song of Solomon.very erotic and sexual. Romantic Love is not even the Bible.coz man and woman must be brought together by the erotic not the romantic. romance is about feelings and worshiping the one you love and all that ' i will die for you' rubbish . Erotic Love on the other hand, as shown in Song of Solomon is about sex and pleasure.
marry the girl that makes your d!ck hard not the one that makes you want to go buy flowers.and women marry the guy that makes you wet not the guy that makes you feel like writing poems.
Bible is on point.

ubunja:

YES SIR.
Romantic Love is sh!t. it didnt even exist until the Romans created it.hence the name (google is your friend)the love between man and woman was called Eros.that one in Song of Solomon.very erotic and sexual. Romantic Love is not even the Bible.coz man and woman must be brought together by the erotic not the romantic. romance is about feelings and worshiping the one you love and all that ' i will die for you' rubbish . Erotic Love on the other hand, as shown in Song of Solomon is about sex and pleasure.
marry the girl that makes your d!ck hard not the one that makes you want to go buy flowers.and women marry the guy that makes you wet not the guy that makes you feel like writing poems.
Bible is on point.

You're giving me ideas bra. Nice. Thanks. I'll chew on this and reflect on your comment. Makes sense.


It means besides the whole lovingitis feeling, it should be transactional, something for both parties to keep it together when the whole feelings run dry, till they rebound abi...This sounds legit

Sorry to conclude, But most marriages in Nigeria isn't flowing because of love.

Finance is projecting some.
Desperation is promoting some.
Some are result of much piled pressure.



I may be wrong thou.

*Modified*

It will just be like Tom marrying Jerry in a cartoon.

Jupxter:



You're giving me ideas bra. Nice. Thanks. I'll chew on this and reflect on your comment. Makes sense.


It means besides the whole lovingitis feeling, it should be transactional, something for both parties to keep it together when the whole feelings run dry, till they rebound abi...This sounds legit

thats the whole point.each must have something to lose by walking away.that will push the both of you to make it work.
u ever wonder why royals rarely divorce while the masses do? coz they never married for romantic love to begin with.it was transactional from the word go. the way Adam and Eve, Mary and Joseph did it. they were together for a bigger purpose.not just romance.

ubunja:

thats the whole point.each must have something to lose by walking away.that will push the both of you to make it work.
u ever wonder why royals rarely divorce while the masses do? coz they never married for romantic love to begin with.it was transactional from the word go. the way Adam and Eve, Mary and Joseph did it. they were together for a bigger purpose.not just romance.

In essence a guy has to make a lady such a big offer that she'll find it irresistible to leave. Aiight?

You're giving me ideas bra. There must be more reasons to stay than reasons to leave. In the end, it's the reasons to stay that sustains the union. This is legit. Why didn't i cross paths with you earlier...Hmm, what do i do here. Searching mode...Ubunja, searching mode,i've got about eight ladies around me..Not so into them, what do you suggest?

habsydiamond:
It will just be like Tom marrying Jerry in a cartoon.

We need to find the perfect model that'll work oh

Jupxter:



You're giving me ideas bra. Nice. Thanks. I'll chew on this and reflect on your comment. Makes sense.


It means besides the whole lovingitis feeling, it should be transactional, something for both parties to keep it together when the whole feelings run dry, till they rebound abi...This sounds legit

thats the whole point.each must have something to lose by walking away.that will push the both of them to make it work.
u ever wonder why royals rarely divorce while the masses do? coz they never married for romantic love to begin with.it was transactional from the word go. the way Adam and Eve, Mary and Joseph did it. they were together for a bigger purpose.not just romance.

so while psychologically and mentally they have a mutual agreement to stick together, sexually they must find each other a turn on too for it to last.the heart is never included.that thing changes 100 times a year.

Jupxter:



We need to find the perfect model that'll work oh

which model go work well cos I no sabi ooo

habsydiamond:
which model go work well cos I no sabi ooo

We're asking the same questions bro

ubunja:

thats the whole point.each must have something to lose by walking away.that will push the both of them to make it work.
u ever wonder why royals rarely divorce while the masses do? coz they never married for romantic love to begin with.it was transactional from the word go. the way Adam and Eve, Mary and Joseph did it. they were together for a bigger purpose.not just romance.

so while psychologically and mentally they have a mutual agreement to stick together, sexually they must find each other a turn on too for it to last.the heart is never included.that thing changes 100 times a year.

I like the part each has something to lose by walking away, argh...i missed this part earlier in life..

Jupxter:



We're asking the same questions bro

it's possible to marry without being in love...just like in contract marriages.....

ubunja:

thats the whole point.each must have something to lose by walking away.that will push the both of them to make it work.
u ever wonder why royals rarely divorce while the masses do? coz they never married for romantic love to begin with.it was transactional from the word go. the way Adam and Eve, Mary and Joseph did it. they were together for a bigger purpose.not just romance.

so while psychologically and mentally they have a mutual agreement to stick together, sexually they must find each other a turn on too for it to last.the heart is never included.that thing changes 100 times a year.

So, to entice the woman, to make her desire a guy, one has to placate her to make her feel she's going to be a benefactor of something great, this seduction makes her want to stay in the relationship than otherwise. Hence, guys with substance are guaranteed better guarantees in relationship than otherwise, cause all ladies want sustainability, stability and security. Hence, it's stvpid to act like a broke dude, but rather come out as one with promise that would entice a lady and keep her attracted both for the short and long term. So, the enticement is the anchor that keeps the heart of the lady attached when feelings go low, the reason to remain aboard the ship...Do you agree?

habsydiamond:
it's possible to marry without being in love...just like in contract marriages.....

How sustainable is this kind of arrangement?

Rolex67:
Its possible but you will regret it.

Sometimes, marriages like that do better. Most of our parents didn't court or fall in love before marriage.

Jupxter:



How sustainable is this kind of arrangement?

as long as the party who initiated it keep up to his end of the bargain....by meeting all conditions attached to the contract....there won't be any problem

Jupxter:



So, to entice the woman, to make her desire a guy, one has to placate her to make her feel she's going to be a benefactor of something great, this seduction makes her want to stay in the relationship than otherwise. Hence, guys with substance are guaranteed better guarantees in relationship than otherwise, cause all ladies want sustainability, stability and security. Hence, it's stvpid to act like a broke dude, but rather come out as one with promise that would entice a lady and keep her attracted both for the short and long term. So, the enticement is the anchor that keeps the heart of the lady attached when feelings go low, the reas
on to remain aboard the ship...Do you agree?

i wouldnt put it that way.if you flash money to show her you can support her,as per what all ladies want, you will fall into the trap of what is called Alpha Fuxx, Beta Buxx. a situation that defines a good number of marriages out there: the badboy keeps fvcking and impregnating while the Nice Guy keeps supporting and financing (buxx meaning bucks)
do this: search your soul and be honest about what you need a woman for. (kids, sex or whatever) then look for the girl who can give you that while simultaneously making your d!ck hard with her appearance.that way the two heads each get their desire.

Of course it's possible to marry without love.

People do it all the time: for money/comfort, for
responsibility (usually from acting irresponsible.

I.e. pregnancy). Some cultures believe in or suffer
through arranged marriages.

Certainly You can marry without love, but
WHY Why would you give up the single most
precious thing in life? None of the above reasons
are satisfactory. I'd rather live a mediocre financial
life, even if it pissed my family off, than live
without real love.

You may "learn to love" someone, but you might
just as easily sign on for a life of mere tolerance, or
worse, resentment.

Financially, I have faith in my ability to earn at
least a moderate living. Maybe i'll never be rich,
but i'll always be ok. Money is important in life,
and yes, it aids in happiness. But it can never, ever,
replace love.

As for family, I dearly love my parents, but as sad as
it is, they're going to die one day and leave me
behind. We don't do arranged marriages, but if we
did, I'd never accept their arrangements over
finding genuine love. I want someone who'll love
me, and have me love them, in good and bad times,
sickness and health... both now and after my parents
pass. Further, part of being a good parent is loving
and supporting your child's decisions, even when it
hurts to watch. You have to let them fall sometimes.

It's part of their learning. Keeping that in mind, I
know my parents would adjust to my decision, no
matter how long it took or how hard they had to
bite their tounges.

Marry for reasons other than love? Absolutely not.
After all, we are ultimately responsible for our own
lives. Never forget that.

Lefulefu,shaybebaby,lalas247,sexybbstar,laveda,biacan,queensekxy make una come contribute oo

Martin0:
Of course it's possible to marry without love.

People do it all the time: for money/comfort, for
responsibility (usually from acting irresponsible.

I.e. pregnancy). Some cultures believe in or suffer
through arranged marriages.

Certainly You can marry without love, but
WHY Why would you give up the single most
precious thing in life? None of the above reasons
are satisfactory. I'd rather live a mediocre financial
life, even if it pissed my family off, than live
without real love.

You may "learn to love" someone, but you might
just as easily sign on for a life of mere tolerance, or
worse, resentment.

Financially, I have faith in my ability to earn at
least a moderate living. Maybe i'll never be rich,
but i'll always be ok. Money is important in life,
and yes, it aids in happiness. But it can never, ever,
replace love.

As for family, I dearly love my parents, but as sad as
it is, they're going to die one day and leave me
behind. We don't do arranged marriages, but if we
did, I'd never accept their arrangements over
finding genuine love. I want someone who'll love
me, and have me love them, in good and bad times,
sickness and health... both now and after my parents
pass. Further, part of being a good parent is loving
and supporting your child's decisions, even when it
hurts to watch. You have to let them fall sometimes.

It's part of their learning. Keeping that in mind, I
know my parents would adjust to my decision, no
matter how long it took or how hard they had to
bite their tounges.

Marry for reasons other than love? Absolutely not.
After all, we are ultimately responsible for our own
lives. Never forget that.

Lefulefu,shaybebaby,lalas247,sexybbstar,laveda,biacan,queensekxy make una come contribute oo

exactly as u yarn am..our hustling brothers wey dey marry 70-85 yr old oyibo grannies are they doin it for love? What of young ladies in their early 20s married to 96 yr old grand dads...are they doin it for love? ..did oshio baba's eithopian wife marry him for love? ..did the 22 yr old girl that just got married to Chief Anenih do it for love?. So Martin0 u on point.

Life is hard and love makes it easy so in my opinion, HELL NO!
Find love or die trying

Na wa, lefulefu don come again with this sad tale of guys marrying 75 years old woman

lefulefu:
exactly as u yarn am..our hustling brothers wey dey marry 70-85 yr old oyibo grannies are they doin it for love? What of young ladies in their early 20s married to 96 yr old grand dads...are they doin it for love? ..did oshio baba's eithopian wife marry him for love? ..did the 22 yr old girl that just got married to Chief Anenih do it for love?. So Martin0 u on point.

All this your oyibo yarns ehn guy

Martin0:
Of course it's possible to marry without love.

People do it all the time: for money/comfort, for
responsibility (usually from acting irresponsible.

I.e. pregnancy). Some cultures believe in or suffer
through arranged marriages.

Certainly You can marry without love, but
WHY Why would you give up the single most
precious thing in life? None of the above reasons
are satisfactory. I'd rather live a mediocre financial
life, even if it pissed my family off, than live
without real love.

You may "learn to love" someone, but you might
just as easily sign on for a life of mere tolerance, or
worse, resentment.

Financially, I have faith in my ability to earn at
least a moderate living. Maybe i'll never be rich,
but i'll always be ok. Money is important in life,
and yes, it aids in happiness. But it can never, ever,
replace love.

As for family, I dearly love my parents, but as sad as
it is, they're going to die one day and leave me
behind. We don't do arranged marriages, but if we
did, I'd never accept their arrangements over
finding genuine love. I want someone who'll love
me, and have me love them, in good and bad times,
sickness and health... both now and after my parents
pass. Further, part of being a good parent is loving
and supporting your child's decisions, even when it
hurts to watch. You have to let them fall sometimes.

It's part of their learning. Keeping that in mind, I
know my parents would adjust to my decision, no
matter how long it took or how hard they had to
bite their tounges.

Marry for reasons other than love? Absolutely not.
After all, we are ultimately responsible for our own
lives. Never forget that.

Lefulefu,shaybebaby,lalas247,sexybbstar,laveda,biacan,queensekxy make una come contribute oo

I have nothing further to add. You entered my brain, rummaged round and expressed my thoughts better than I could have.

Martin0:
Of course it's possible to marry without love.

People do it all the time: for money/comfort, for
responsibility (usually from acting irresponsible.

I.e. pregnancy). Some cultures believe in or suffer
through arranged marriages.

Certainly You can marry without love, but
WHY Why would you give up the single most
precious thing in life? None of the above reasons
are satisfactory. I'd rather live a mediocre financial
life, even if it pissed my family off, than live
without real love.

You may "learn to love" someone, but you might
just as easily sign on for a life of mere tolerance, or
worse, resentment.

Financially, I have faith in my ability to earn at
least a moderate living. Maybe i'll never be rich,
but i'll always be ok. Money is important in life,
and yes, it aids in happiness. But it can never, ever,
replace love.

As for family, I dearly love my parents, but as sad as
it is, they're going to die one day and leave me
behind. We don't do arranged marriages, but if we
did, I'd never accept their arrangements over
finding genuine love. I want someone who'll love
me, and have me love them, in good and bad times,
sickness and health... both now and after my parents
pass. Further, part of being a good parent is loving
and supporting your child's decisions, even when it
hurts to watch. You have to let them fall sometimes.

It's part of their learning. Keeping that in mind, I
know my parents would adjust to my decision, no
matter how long it took or how hard they had to
bite their tounges.

Marry for reasons other than love? Absolutely not.
After all, we are ultimately responsible for our own
lives. Never forget that.

Le.fulefu,shay.bebaby,lalas.247,sexyb.bstar,lave.da,biac.an,queensekxy make una come contribute oo

I've never seen you talk soo much sense

I thought you were on nl for jokes

ubunja:

i wouldnt put it that way.if you flash money to show her you can support her,as per what all ladies want, you will fall into the trap of what is called Alpha Fuxx, Beta Buxx. a situation that defines a good number of marriages out there: the badboy keeps fvcking and impregnating while the Nice Guy keeps supporting and financing (buxx meaning bucks)
do this: search your soul and be honest about what you need a woman for. (kids, sex or whatever) then look for the girl who can give you that while simultaneously making your d!ck hard with her appearance.that way the two heads each get their desire.

Balance is key !

Oyindidi:
Sometimes, marriages like that do better. Most of our parents didn't court or fall in love before marriage.

parents ke? Oyindidi my dad toast my mom b4 she agree oo.their time was no more different than how it is today.the only difference is we have Facebook and android phone but their time na dat phone wey dey get circular dial dem dey use. Maybe if u talking about the jaja of opobo days then i might agree with u dat dem dey arrange women give to men.

lefulefu:
parents ke? Oyindidi my dad toast my mom b4 she agree oo.their time was no more different than how it is today.the only difference is we have Facebook and android phone but their time na dat phone wey dey get circular dial dem dey use. Maybe if u talking about the jaja of opobo days then i might agree with u dat dem dey arrange women give to men.

Bros sofri dey lie o. Haba ! Where you there when your dad toasted your mum ?