^Ofcourse it does u shall say i said so sha. . .but if u no want say i said so berra book a flight 2 bethlehem straight away!

davidylan:

No they are not applicable. If i do not wish my sister or wife to sleep around its because i consider her too PRECIOUS for me to share . . . that has nothing to do with seeing her as inferior or being prejudiced towards her.

Too precious. . .LOL! That's you, although I don't quite buy that in the case of a spouse. Sibling, yeah, I suppose. Read the definition again and notice it includes the 'attitude'. In this case, I believe the poster is talking about the attitude that men give off when their wives cheat. Through everyday observation, you can tell that more women go back to living with a husband who has cheated. The case is not very common if switched around. Why? Women have been forgiving and living with cheating husbands but you rarely hear of men stand the same BS. Brings me back to the idea of the society being a sexist one. Men believe it's their world(as they have been conditioned by the society to) so they believe it's their right to be forgiven, which is a sexist mentality.

chiogo:

Too precious. . .LOL! That's you, although I don't quite buy that in the case of a spouse. Sibling, yeah, I suppose. Read the definition again and notice it includes the 'attitude'. In this case, I believe the poster is talking about the attitude that men give off when their wives cheat. Through everyday observation, you can tell that more women go back to living with a husband who has cheated. The case is not very common if switched around. Why? Women have been forgiving and living with cheating husbands but you rarely hear of men stand the same BS. Brings me back to the idea of the society being a sexist one. Men believe it's their world(as they have been conditioned by the society to) so they believe it's their right to be forgiven, which is a sexist mentality.

Chigo you are spot on! I am about he attitude of men when there wives cheat compared with those of the women when there husbands cheat.

Some men may cheat cos they feel foolishly superior and think women's feelings don't really matter or is even none existent as with one's pet; a good majority of us when we do so was out of sheer incompetence in managing our natural drives in the face of seduction, temptation and unpalatble dispositions of our women.

What baffles me is why women find it easier to forgive and even forget, then we the male species? is it because you have a better understanding of our weakened nature and what led us to infidelty?

49cents:

Chigo you are spot on! I am about he attitude of men when there wives cheat compared with those of the women when there husbands cheat.

Some men may cheat cos they feel foolishly superior and think women's feelings don't really matter or is even none existent as with one's pet; a good majority of us when we do so was out of sheer incompetence in managing our natural drives in the face of seduction, temptation and unpalatble dispositions of our women.

What baffles me is why women find it easier to forgive and even forget, then we the male species? is it because you have a better understanding of our weakened nature and what led us to infidelty?

They find it easier because most women have been conditioned by the society to EXPECT men to exhibit such behavior and accept it.

49cents:


What baffles me is why women find it easier to forgive and even forget, then we the male species? is it because you have a better understanding of our weakened nature and what led us to infidelty?

like i said earlier on and many other ppl have also said, it depends on the society.
In the US for example, women don't generally forgive cheating. they dump or divorce u if you cheat and the result can be nasty!!!
in naija on the other hand, women feel powerless in such situation and the only thing on their mind is that their husband should not replace them with the mistress.

it's not abt weak nature or any of the sorts. just societal power difference.

oyinda.:

like i said earlier on and many other ppl have also said, it depends on the society.
In the US for example, women don't generally forgive cheating. they dump or divorce u if you cheat and the result can be nasty!!!
in naija on the other hand, women feel powerless in such situation and the only thing on their mind is that their husband should not replace them with the mistress.

it's not abt weak nature or any of the sorts. just societal power difference.

yep i reckon in the western societies cheating by men is not condoned, yet in the US, for example, there are women who still go ahead and take the cheating man back but i don't know if the men there are disposed likewise

49cents:

yep i reckon in the western societies cheating by men is not condoned, yet in the US, for example, there are women who still go ahead and take the cheating man back but i don't know if the men there are disposed likewise

there are men also who take cheating women back
to me the only women who would take cheating men back is if they are dependent on the man financially etc. and that is like 90% of naija marriages.
ie if u were dating a rich girl for her money. won't u take her back if she cheats?

I will take her back because if she was sorry not because she is rich

49cents:

I will take her back because if she was sorry not because she is rich

now if she is very broke and have no money and u don't depend on her to take care of ur self and ur kids. and she cheats, are u as willing to take her back?

Oyinda free me

u neva hear say t*t* sweet pass igbo claro

without sounding overtly philosophical LOVE CONQUERS ALL.

Of a truth he or she who cheats has the greater loss, cos cheating never made anyone truly happy especially in the long run. DEFINITELY I WOULD HURT AT FIRST BUT MY LOVE,\ for her if true will win her back to the person who truly cares and to the thing that truly makes anyone  happy,:UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

49cents:

without sounding overtly philosophical LOVE CONQUERS ALL.

Of a truth he or she who cheats has the greater loss, cos cheating never made anyone truly happy especially in the long run. DEFINITELY I WOULD HURT AT FIRST BUT MY LOVE,\ for her if true will win her back to the person who truly cares and to the thing that truly makes anyone  happy,:UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

best post

Poster,

Men are by nature protective, provider, and jealous hearted. It normal for the men to possess these qualities that what distinct them from women. Men have that cave man mentality where they go hunting for a woman and bring her back to the cave to protect, provide, and show her off to the men. The woman is to be loyal, submissive, and loving to the man. A man will eventually heal from the disloyality however, may not return back to the woman even if he REALLY LOVE HER. It is the pride and ego that make MEN SO DENSE that sometimes it easier for women to forgive men than men to forgive women for cheating. It is a double standard and it need to change. Unfortunately we are in a MAN WORLD, how sickening, VOMITS.

it is good listening to will be fathers and mothers,

Who said cheating in the western societies is not condoled, have we forgotten ex president Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky in office in the white house, he cheated on his wife and she still with him till tomorrow, what of late ex president Kennedy that was assassinated and his many women, what of Golf legend Tiger wood, what of musical idol Bobby Brown, we all know he cheated on his wife (Whitney Houston) before they got divorced in America, what of prince Charles of England, he cheated on his late wife princes Diana, it was only when they got divorced she then had a relationship with Late Dodi the son of the ex Harrods owners, I could count up to a 100 white families were the man cheated, we have western men who come to Nigeria to work and they all cheat on their wives in Nigeria, even when the wives come with them, these so called expatriates, but the wives hardly cheat, now am I right or wrong.
Cheating by male is generally accepted in all culture, and while it is wrong and I don’t support cheating or adultery, the truth has to be told and the reason is this, society frowns on female cheat and the woman also have a lot to lose and again they hardly get noticed after giving birth to 2 or 3 children, their beauty is no longer there, while men still remain attractive to single ladies for numerous reason. Like here in England ladies that know they can’t stay married to one man just don’t get married, what they do is they have babies for 1 or more guys and then they go for council benefit to sustain their lives, it is also applicable in America and other western Europe countries.

EGO
It's similar to the fact that men usually like their women virgins and women usually like their men experienced. From their egos, it's easier for a woman to see her man with other woman, than the man imagine his woman with another man.

While women consider it a territorial breach when other women encroach on their men, it's a big insult and show of power for a man to sleep with another man's woman. Like an ancient King 'confiscating' another man's wife!

You can steal a man's money or all his possessions. But none will pain him as much as you sleeping with his woman and letting him know you were man enough to do so! Even if he takes the woman back, he will always question himself whether he is better at satisfying her more than her lover.

Society and Ego. our society frowns at it wen a woman cheat, in some places they stigmatze the woman,but wen its the man its a minor offence.

deniyor:

EGO
It's similar to the fact that men usually like their women virgins and women usually like their men experienced. From their egos, it's easier for a woman to see her man with other woman, than the man imagine his woman with another man.

While women consider it a territorial breach when other women encroach on their men, it's a big insult and show of power for a man to sleep with another man's woman. Like an ancient King 'confiscating' another man's wife!

You can steal a man's money or all his possessions. But none will pain him as much as you sleeping with his woman and letting him know you were man enough to do so! Even if he takes the woman back, he will always question himself whether he is better at satisfying her more than her lover.

I feel you, any man that tries it with my wife may not live to regret it; am not a killer but nobody should push me, but do the women feel it the way men feel it,

is it not an insult to the women as well.
cant the same be said with a woman, you may take every thing he has but not her man, and wont she also question himself as to whether she is better in satisfying him than his lover?

Interesting thread . . subscribing

49cents:

I feel you, any man that tries it with my wife may not live to regret it; am not a killer but nobody should push me, but do the women feel it the way men feel it,

is it not an insult to the women as well.
cant the same be said with a woman, you may take every thing he has but not her man, and wont she also question himself as to whether she is better in satisfying him than his lover?

I always say if I catch my woman with another man redhanded, I will introduce them to God in person lol.

I have never seen any woman feel the most insult will be losing her man to another woman (except of course, it's a middle aged woman losing her husband to a teenager). Women are probably going to be more concerned abt their loss of status or downgrade in lifestyle than about the man himself. And don't u ever think of taking comfort from a woman. A man can never downgrade in women, but a woman can't downgrade in lifestyle. (Chris Rock)

Most women (esp 9ja) would not consider another woman stealing their women as an insult (well,except if the lady in question is the housemaid or someone of a 'lower class') but as a thief trying to steal what they have worked for and earned. A man will not even consider the other man as a thief trying to get something he did not work for. Will you?

On her thoughts of been able to satisfy her man, most of them think if they can make him climax, and on demand, they are good to go. They probably will feel insecure but not as much as a man. They feel they can offer a man more than just sex.  Afterall a lot of men can only offer good sex/love to their partners. Others add money/comfort to it, just to be safer.

Cos men have Big egos. WORD!!

both men and women feel hurt equally but reaction is different.
i.e women cry and become depressed while men become violent (due to their big egos).
in fact to me, women have it more difficult since they are more emotional abt it.

hmmmm

no comment, i reserve it,

[/quote]dat's a generalization. to me, it depends on the society u grew up in. and the degree of sexism that exists in such a society.
for example in northern naija with sharia women who commit adultery face stoning to death. while d men go scot free.
such men will grow up with a sense of entitlement, mighty egos n feeling of superiority. then they can't handle it when their partner cheats.
[quote]

Point of correction, under sharia law, men found GUILTY of adultery will also be stoned to death, they don't go scot free as you have claimed.

dat's a generalization. to me, it depends on the society u grew up in. and the degree of sexism that exists in such a society.
for example in northern naija with sharia women who commit adultery face stoning to death. while d men go scot free.
such men will grow up with a sense of entitlement, mighty egos n feeling of superiority. then they can't handle it when their partner cheats.

Point of correction, under sharia law, men found GUILTY of adultery will also be stoned to death, they don't go scot free as you have claimed.

I beg to differ , i would say some individuals are more forgiving than others .I doubt it has anything to do with the 'sexist society'.

Personally, I think this trend has more to do with the way our society view gender differences and male folk superiority over women. When a guys sleeps around with gals, he' hailed by his folks as a happening guy with 101% swagger while if same is done by a woman. She is nothing but a damn prostitute!

deniyor:

EGO
It's similar to the fact that men usually like their women virgins and women usually like their men experienced. From their egos, it's easier for a woman to see her man with other woman, than the man imagine his woman with another man.

While women consider it a territorial breach when other women encroach on their men, it's a big insult and show of power for a man to sleep with another man's woman. Like an ancient King 'confiscating' another man's wife!

You can steal a man's money or all his possessions. But none will pain him as much as you sleeping with his woman and letting him know you were man enough to do so! Even if he takes the woman back, he will always question himself whether he is better at satisfying her more than her lover.

@Deniyor,

your post really wraps it up nicely