why do people always assume that it's the lady that was used anytime a sexual relationship heads southwards? the dude expended his energy as well, No?

and why does it have to be the girl that was "loose" as people sort of assumed?  isn't the relationship between two consenting adults? gosh, it's quite easy to differentiate Nairalanders leaving in caves by merely reading their posts.

I would just say the dude is simply an a'rsehole without ballz, going on facebook to announce a break up of whatever relationship is simply juvenile

thank you.  don't mind these foolish people.
@poster-you had better leave him alone.  what he did on FB is childish and immature, but anything you do with him from now on is your fault alone, and any other disrespectful thing he does to you will have been condoned by you.

@ Jay_bee
She is lying based on this thread. It is easy enough to talk plenty. Now she is emotionally involved and she wants the man to herself.

errm errrm actually she doesn't, as evidenced in her other NL posts

@Ink_nerd
No need to get combative. I really did mean that I do not have the time to do a good job on the subject as I have other stuff going on. I do want to correct one thing though:

You say

we are not genetically designed to just be with one person

as if its a fact. Hmmm! I completely and totally disagree with you on that one. What is apparent in this discussion is this - your worldview is very, very, very different from mine. That is fine. However one thing must be clear - we are not discussing abstractions here - but people and real lives. You can romanticize casual sex as much as you want. In the real world, with real people and real feelings, it almost always leads to heartbreak. And for people who are so hardened that sex is meaningless and emotionless, there was an event that led to that decision - usually something negative. No girl grows up to say - I just want to be screwing around without some underlying traumatic event leading to that decision making process.

I am not trying to convince you of anything, I am just stating things as I know them to be.

Enjoy!

This is what the op posted on another topic:

Amya:


My answer to the question above is "yes"

Sometimes, i enter into relationships purely for the experience, curiosity and just for the sake of it. It's actually best though if the other party is in it for the same reasons, and not for something serious.

I once had a boyfriend who i really loved so much but i knew from the onset i wouldn't marry him for "certain" reasons! It really hurt him when he realized i wasn't planning on having a future with him. It eventually led to our breakup, but the truth is this, i really loved him and would have pleasantly keep the relationship for as long as possible, but marriage must not come into the picture.

It's hard not to imagine there is an underlying psychological issue with her, or she just likes giving it out for free

4wardever:

Somehow, I don't believe the poster. The story is too foolish to be true. Besides, why would a classy lady like yourself fall for such nonsense? Were U expecting that one day the guy wud be tired of bleeping u and say"Hello Amya, I think the sex has been great!, Lets take it to another level,  I want u to be my wife!" PuuLease,  if dats wat u were expecting, maybe u shd go back to d village.
@Moderator, what is the criteria for getting a post published upfront? huh? mtsheeeeww!

And how do you know she's classy? Is it because she can write or read or cos she's in Uni?

Reading thru her post its clear that she's expecting the relationship to end 'one day' but not does not want to see 'the day' yet!

@ALL

I am the guy Sandra sorry the Poster is taking about. The post I made on my Facebook page  was just a line I curled from a Hollywood movie. I wasnt really referring to her in anyway. I have explained that to her and we reconciled. Dont ask me if anything happened last nite, it happens always!  

Amya's response to: Re: Will You Be in A Relationship If Deep Down You Know Its Not Gonna Go Anywhere?

posted: May 02, 2011.
Might be a recent opinion of hers though, but in all she understands her wishes; perhaps not so confident of them already. I kinda like her!
   

Amya:
My answer to the question above is "yes"

     Sometimes, i enter into relationships purely for the experience, curiosity and just for the sake of it. It's actually best though if the other party is in it for the same reasons, and not for something serious.

     I once had a boyfriend who i really loved so much but i knew from the onset i wouldn't marry him for "certain" reasons! It really hurt him when he realized i wasn't planning on having a future with him. It eventually led to our breakup, but the truth is this, i really loved him and would have pleasantly keep the relationship for as long as possible, but marriage must not come into the picture.

@topic

Out of order on the part of the dude
But mayb u gave him the chance/opportunity/courage/authority to act dat way  

Look at the brighter side, the guy didn't mention your name. It could be a lot worse So no biggies

@ink_nerd
Oh I don't in any way doubt that there are people who are unemotional and casual about sex. The question is why? Is it normal? And is it something to aspire towards? What are the consequences of that kind of lifestyle?  I say that it is not a good thing,  It is not a normal thing,  it is not the right thing, and the consequences are usually negative. My opinion.  

I wasn't becoming combative. And it really doesn't matter to me whether or not you have an explanation for not continuing the conversation, I never asked for one. Yes, I do have different views from your but I am in no way romanticizing casual sex. People, regardless of what you believe can disengage themselves emotionally from sex. Because one may be emotionally detached does not mean that they they are hardened. What you fail to realize is that not everyone has the same sexual experiences. Not everyone has the same story when it comes to how they relate to sex. And not everything involving someone being open about the sexuality has a connection to someone being of a traumatic background. Yes, I will admit some people are like that but you need to stop trying to make it seem like all cases and experiences are like that. You keep mentioning that the "real world" isn't like that but one thing about the real world is that is full of diversity and there is no one standing view that is a representation of sex as a whole. Its seems more like you're the one who needs to understand the "real world". There are people out there who are actually sexually liberated and have no inhibitions regardless of where they are from or how they were raised--because you can't or don't want to wrap your brain around that notion doesn't make its existence any less present within society.

Wat eva, hop is nt a cok nd bull story 2 hit on som guy.

U caused urself trouble by selling urself to the guy, a girl is not cheated sexually by a guy if she gives herself out, so u enjoyed something so dont bother, for facebook, tell them non of their business. next time look b4 u leap. amistake is a lesson

Free world indeed

macfarland:

@ALL

I am the guy Sandra sorry the Poster is taking about. The post I made on my Facebook page  was just a line I curled from a Hollywood movie. I wasnt really referring to her in anyway. I have explain that to her and we reconciled. Dont ask me if anything happened last nite, it happens always!  

;d

Today, i was reading through status updates on face book, and i saw the one he posted last night ""months of meaningless sex , worthless relationships, finally I'm in love n I'm happy" i can't describe how hurt i felt.

@poster, how are you sure that the guy was referring to you in the post. Couldn't it be possible that the guy was referring to his other relationships before he met you, in which case the status update could be a compliment. Your problem is that you are wishing the worst for the relationship, so I suggest you introduce some positive taughts in your mind as another lady with a positive mindset would have read the same update and be swept off her feet. You should atleast ask for clarification before reaching a wrong conclusion. Yes, English is not our mother tougue but we must learn to read between the line.

macfarland:

@ALL

I am the guy Sandra sorry the Poster is taking about. The post I made on my Facebook page  was just a line I curled from a Hollywood movie. I wasnt really referring to her in anyway. I have explain that to her and we reconciled. Dont ask me if anything happened last nite, it happens always!  

is her toto swt, if your done phuckin her, can u pls giv me her control so i cud inherit her, chai!!!!!, see free poo sea., na im u wan jonze, .

@OP, I just stumbled  into this thread now, Its an interesting thread no doubt and i've taken time to read through most of the replies here, and also that of the poster,
The poster is kinda intelligent, judging from her write-up, but she seems to be unnecessarily hurt by someone else's status on facebook, I guess the poster's sexmate never indicated on his facebook profile that he is in a relationship with the poster nor did he indicate on his facebook status that he was having meaningless relationship/ sex with poster, So why then do you bother yourself asking questions about him being cruel to you??
Please dont jump into conclusions until you are 100% sure of what you're saying, !!
You seem to advertise a lot about yourself on your NL profile, its only your phone number and your house address that's not there, I dont know the rationale behind that anywhere, I wish you luck in all your quest, !

Ibo-made:

Look at  the brighter side, the guy didn't mention your name. It could be a lot worse So no biggies

honest when i opened up the thread i thought the guy was running his mouth insulting her directly on FB,

it could truly have been worse.

abeg! move on with your life.

be smart, dont let life push you over,.

this life is too short to be dumb.

@Amya

YOU SHOULDN'T THINK OTHERWISE. YOU STATED, THAT "YOU KNEW IT WON'T WORKOUT". FROM YOUR STATEMENT AND WHAT HE POSTED ON HIS FACE BOOK, GOES TO SHOW THAT YOU PRESSURED HIM INTO THE RELATIONSHIP, JUST THAT YOU FIRST APPRECIATED HIM AND TOOK INTEREST WHICH ENVELOPE YOUR MIND, THAT YOU WANTED HIM AND ENJOYED SEX WITH HIM OF WHICH HE IS OF THE BELEIVE THATE YOU ABUSED HIM HENCE HIS POST ON FACE BOOK. JUST TAKE THINGS AS YOU HAVE SEEN IT. BETTER LOOK BEFORE YOU LEEP.

@poster, wow i just read ur post now and i feel really bad this sort of thing can happen. really, he should have ended the relationship in a more subtle way other than posting such on FB. well, you got to be strong now and move on. setbacks do happen in life. someone better will come ur way who will appreciate you and take u for you.

@Ink_nerd
You believe that human beings are not monogamous by nature and should have the right to sleep with whoever they want, whenever they want in whatever context they want. I believe that human beings are designed to desire love and companionship. I also believe that sex should be dessert to this balanced meal of love, companionship and commitment (read marriage). I think that the societal practice of indulging in sex outside of this framework of commitment leads to a great many social and emotional problems - hence this thread. As an illustration - icecream is not bad if consumed in the right quantities after a meal just for a taste of something sweet. But if you have it in place of breakfast, lunch and dinner, then it can run belle.

Sex should not be divorced from love and commitment. I do not believe that it was designed to be that way. My views are conservative and I don't expect you to agree with them. I just strongly believe that society has not benefited from all this "sexual liberation". Instead we have very broken people who have lost their way, who have no idea what they want and why, and who keep telling themselves that its okay to be just a warm body with a cold heart. I find it hard to believe. But to each his/her own.

Should there be a reason? If so, why? Who are you to tell someone else what is "normal" and not normal for them? Lemme ask you something since you keep asking why should someone live like that. Why not? What is the manner that you feel is better and what makes it better? What is it about your belief that makes it better than someone who chooses to live of life of sexual inhibition? If an two consenting adults wants to engage in sex with one another, why is that a bad thing? What makes it "not a good thing" or "not normal"? What makes it not the "right thing"?

@ topic U just jump into conclusion about the update on his facebook, how do u know u are the one he is directing it to or someone else.
what u need to do is go to him and ask him about the update, who he refers to.
i think u are much in love and maybe u enjoy his thing, that is why u dont feel like living him

*Hisses*
I have something better to do,

djojo:

@ topic U just jump into conclusion about the update on his facebook, how do u know u are the one he is directing it to or someone else.
what u need to do is go to him and ask him about the update, who he refers to.
i think u are much in love and maybe u enjoy his thing, that is why u dont feel like living him

My taught exactly. I wonder if all these guys posting crap here actually read the post. That update is open ended hence; you cannot reach a conclusion just based on it. Like I observed earlier, it could actually be a compliment.

I know u are very hurt about the guy`s attitude. Even if he wants to break the relationship, why on facebook, of all places. Just try to forget abput him, I know it will be difficult. Move on with ur life.

In the verbal exchange between: on the one hand, Contracult - An ultra conservative, no marriage no intimacy, nun wanabe

and on the other hand we have Ink_nerd - from the "fcVK without conscience school of thought" nympho wanabe, emotionally absent when it comes to 'totology' I declare this contest a draw

Shit
happens