Being too fine is also a possibility.

u have no idea how many guys want to lay u

now, i'm seriously confused about those guys behaviour. most of the ppl i know don't mind AA's, in fact everybody so far has been either trying to tell u that they don't mind AA's, or that nigerian/AA dating is ok, or make advances. so u're all right

i'd like to apologise on behalf of those guys for their unflattering treatment of u. if u ask me, they were probably scared (if u live in nig u'll understand).they made u make me talk about romance. that's bad. so my apologies once again.

finally, if this is the first time u've been treated like this by nigerian boys, no prob. if it has happened repeatedly, check urself or look for another country. but there's still hope for u in nigeria.

remain blessed

Cuteobi:


[size=18pt]@190 if pureohio doesnt want u nor ya money,am all urs sweetie! [/size]

And yes, you're right. I'm not from the Atlanta area. We just visit there every once in a while

Guys are more about economics when out of state is involved.  ie I dont want spend the rest of nite talking to someone who lives out of state. Talking to you prevents them from talking to someone who's readily available.  Most Naija guys know that one night stand is out of the equation, so their love hunting skills are channeled toward  those who reside locally.

@OP what are your preferred attributes in a man? I know some good/serious fellas in the area but you'll have to list your body/soul/spirit likes.

It's a pity no one is really telling you the truth here maybe I can help. I think I understand their line of reasoning because of a couple of reasons

Firstly, Cultures are different. A Nigerian woman that was brought up in Nigeria or by Nigerian parents thinks more to please her family than herself although that is changing fast these days. If she is faced with hardships either economically or emotionally she doesn't easily give in and throw in the towel by quiting the marriage. Still a sizable number of our girls are taught or raised up to respect their man even if they're well off. They respect hierarchy and this is because they are either well brought up, good christains/moslems/traditionalists. They believe in something but all across the western world there is a death of morals due to the rise in atheism or distorted doctrine.

Secondly, Most Nigerian men are selfish, they want to be able to indulge in their illicit ways whereby their women can't cough or at worse they complain and fight about their partners ways with no serious repercussions. Across the western world, once your hubby is caught cheating thats the end of the marriage. So they like the feeling of knowing that no matter their actions there wouldn't be serious repercussions especially the way the single ladies chase the married ones these days.

Thirdly, this has to do with character. Most western ladies have loose characters, they believe what a man can do I can as well even far better and then see themselves as equals even more. In most cases they want their partners to do their bidding or be at their beck and call. Expatiating further Its more like this, down here we have marriage materials, mistress and hit & run materials. Most western ladies fall in the latter category. They become ready for marriage most times after their 35th birthday. A Nigerian man knows that a Nigerian lady with the Nigerian mind set is a very strong woman. She can manage in adversity as well as show off the wealth in style to the pride of her husband.

Like you must have been reading here on NL things are changing and Nigerian ladies are more and more becoming like their western counterparts but then we still do have the true breed, the true apple of every man's eye. Ladies who were taught either in the true traditional way or in a strict Christian/muslim way. One thing I do appreciate with the ladies brought up outside the shores of Nigeria is that they are far less materialistic. If your character has really been moulded along one of these and as I observed above you aren't materialistic then you have nothing to fear because your true Nigerian knight in shining armour is around the corner. Cheers.

Nigerian + American =
Undateable? . As a mathematician, I put it to you that you were wrong. The answer ought to be NigerianAmerican!!!

seriously, you look like you are 16 years old even though u claimed early 20's-late 20's. They might be avoiding you cos of that.

from PureOhio

@Shy-one: Thank you so much for shedding some light on this issue. I honestly had a feeling it had something to do with what you just said. It really baffles me b/c their parents knew my parents so for them to not have known seems very strange. I appreciate your advice but it's just not in my nature to hide who I am just to appease others Embarrassed

Pure:

First let me say that you are gorgeous.  What I stated in an earlier writing on this thread was ONLY A FEW of the thoughts that occurred to me.  It actually might not have ANYTHING to do with what I stated.  It could be something else.  In all honesty.  I truly believe that it DOES have something to do with what I stated.

Especially if this is happening in crowds at African attended events.  THERE IS NO WAY that you can hide who you are.  Because it's too blinding to others.  You are beautiful and that beauty has alot to do with your mixed blood.  But you also have African and African American families that have formed who you are.

PureOhio in action is what you should be.  Action and little words.  Why open your purse up to those in social circles who have not opened their purse up to you?  My heritage which I am VERY PROUD of wouldn't be a topic of any conversation because of differing reactions that I "don't have time to suffer."  Those that are to be with you will be there as bees drawn to honey.  Friends, mates, etc.  They will see your worth and will be desperate to be a part of it.

There will be Africans that won't accept me and AA's that won't accept him.  So be it.  Regardless to who is and isn't staying onboard - there will still be a crowd of well-wishers surrounding us.  In like order there will still be a crowd surrounding you.  Nigerians and non-Nigerians alike.  Focus on you.

Do you boo boo.  Do you.

From a guys point of view,was something wrong with your dressing,were you too forward or did you in any way portray a snobbish attitude. Nigerian guys are quite lovely and it would be very funny if all Nigerians guys you meet give you a cold shoulder,that means something must be wrong somewhere.

sleekman:

It's a pity no one is really telling you the truth here maybe I can help. I think I understand their line of reasoning because of a couple of reasons

Firstly, Cultures are different. A Nigerian woman that was brought up in Nigeria or by Nigerian parents thinks more to please her family than herself although that is changing fast these days. If she is faced with hardships either economically or emotionally she doesn't easily give in and throw in the towel by quiting the marriage. Still a sizable number of our girls are taught or raised up to respect their man even if they're well off. They respect hierarchy and this is because they are either well brought up, good christains/moslems/traditionalists. They believe in something but all across the western world there is a death of morals due to the rise in atheism or distorted doctrine.

Secondly, Most Nigerian men are selfish, they want to be able to indulge in their illicit ways whereby their women can't cough or at worse they complain and fight about their partners ways with no serious repercussions. Across the western world, once your hubby is caught cheating thats the end of the marriage. So they like the feeling of knowing that no matter their actions there wouldn't be serious repercussions especially the way the single ladies chase the married ones these days.

Thirdly, this has to do with character. Most western ladies have loose characters, they believe what a man can do I can as well even far better and then see themselves as equals even more. In most cases they want their partners to do their bidding or be at their beck and call. Expatiating further Its more like this, down here we have marriage materials, mistress and hit & run materials. Most western ladies fall in the latter category. They become ready for marriage most times after their 35th birthday. A Nigerian man knows that a Nigerian lady with the Nigerian mind set is a very strong woman. She can manage in adversity as well as show off the wealth in style to the pride of her husband.

Like you must have been reading here on NL things are changing and Nigerian ladies are more and more becoming like their western counterparts but then we still do have the true breed, the true apple of every man's eye. Ladies who were taught either in the true traditional way or in a strict Christian/muslim way. One thing I do appreciate with the ladies brought up outside the shores of Nigeria is that they are far less materialistic. If your character has really been moulded along one of these and as I observed above you aren't materialistic then you have nothing to fear because your true Nigerian knight in shining armour is around the corner. Cheers.

Everything this writer wrote is TRUE. He spoke truth to you. If you see what I wrote earlier---you will see that he has mirrored my writing from the point of view of a large % of Africans. They are taught this even more so about African Americans - wild, no morals, etc, If an African marries outside of their culture - A white person is more acceptable to many of them than an African American. It is the "majority held view point." Is it wrong, is it right? It matters not. Right or wrong don't matter. Because it is their perspective. Mark my word, many of those men that you are meeting in the States think the very same way. NOT ALL OF THEM but a great majority of them.

So where does that leave us half-breeds who are beautiful, intelligent, loyal to our death, hardworking. How do we deal with that thought process? We continue to be who we are, because our beauty is too blinding not to be ourselves. Those Nigerians that see it and deal with us will be the blessed ones. Everyone doesn't buy into categories or conform to stigmas.

Don't wear your bloodline as a badge of honor on your sleeve (though we both know that it is)------just talk around it. When I attend social gatherings I don't discuss religion, race, politics, etc, Continue to be proud of who you are and know that someone of your upbringing will hook a wonderful guy(s). Wait and mark my word ---- they are coming.

@ Shy-one

I dont think that Pure-Ohio came to the gathering wearing a big ole' "Marry me sign" on her forehead. So you are kinda jumping the gun wildly.
I dont know why the guys decided to be cold to her, but I can bet that it had nothing to do with her AA heritage.

As for whites being acceptable over AA, I dont know about that. But I know I have no patience for AA that think being ghetto is cool. Maybe most dudes feel that way too.

saxywale:

seriously, you look like you are 16 years old even though u claimed early 20's-late 20's. They might be avoiding you cos of that.

i was thinking the exact thing. either that, or the fact that they look at you as a sister and therefore can't/won't date you.

Basseti:

@ Shy-one

I dont think that Pure-Ohio came to the gathering wearing a big ole' "Marry me sign" on her forehead.  So you are kinda jumping the gun wildly.
I dont know why the guys decided to be cold to her, but I can bet that it had nothing to do with her AA heritage.

As for whites being acceptable over AA, I dont know about that. But I know I have no patience for AA that think being ghetto is cool. Maybe most dudes feel that way too.

Why are you talking to me?  Especially when you haven't addressed anything that I have said with any amount of accuracy?  Who mentioned marriage?  You did.  So why are you addressing me as if I mentioned it?

Yes you do - you know about that (text in blue).  And if you don't know about it, you've heard of it. 

As an AA - I'm not ghetto and I'm not cool with ghetto.  So why would you even form your fingers to type the BS you typed?  I'll tell you why you typed it. You are also another one that thinks that AA are ghetto.

@ PureOhio - see what I'm saying? Many of them can't even hide it. It just pours out. AA = ghetto to many Africans. Not all Africans but a huge majority of them.

I don't agree so much with the AA classification. I think most Nigerians would prefer going for someone that is their own skin colour at least I would and please don't call me racist. It boils down to an attitudinal problem. If ure 'submissive' then you'll get almost any Nigerian man. Nigerian men don't like to be challenged but rather they respect a smart intelligent lady they can always resort to for advice.

If an African marries outside of their culture - A white person is more acceptable to many of them than an African American. It is the "majority held view point." Is it wrong, is it right? It matters not. Right or wrong don't matter. Because it is their perspective. Mark my word, many of those men that you are meeting in the States think the very same way. NOT ALL OF THEM but a great majority of them.


I believe you were the one that typed this and not an impersonator.


@ PureOhio - see what I'm saying? Many of them can't even hide it. It just pours out. AA = ghetto to many Africans. Not all Africans but a huge majority of them.

If you have some bitterness towards some africans, thats ur own personal issue. This is what I posted and unless if you have a low level of comprehension then I dont see why you do think that all AA=ghetto.

As for whites being acceptable over AA, I dont know about that. But I know I have no patience for AA that think being ghetto is cool.

You can replace the AA with any other group, as long as you still think that ghetto is cool, I wont still think much of you. So please spare me the victim card.

@ sleekman

You are not in the majority.  The word racist doesn't fall from my lips readily.  I have read many writers of African descent that generally choose to first marry another Nigerian of same tribe, secondly another African, if they go outside and don't marry African they would marry a white person over an African American.

Nothing personal - that's why I didn't attack you because this isn't personal.  This is what I have read from many,many, many writers.  They associate AA with negative images especially those 30 years of age and up.  The younger Africans tend to hold the images of African Americans on a more positive note because they associate that image of those AA who have succeeded in music, athletics, etc,

It is what it is.  As I stated, there are Africans that don't do any of the above and accept you for what you present to them.  Most women that I know are submissive to the "right man."

@ Bassetti

ignorance at it's finest. applaud yourself.

And before you continue on your tirade, let me remind you of my initial opinion:

I dont think (and that has not changed) that whatever experience PureOhio went through had anything to do with her mom being AA. There has to be something that she either misinterpreted and/or over-anlayzed. If we were talking about marriage, then maybe that might become an issue for some. I dont see any issue when it comes to socializing and/or dating.

I dont know about tpia's neighborhood, but in my own neck of the woods I have never seen a naija guy reject a girl for dating based on the origin of her parents.

@ B

Because YOU don't fall in that category - don't say it doesn't occur, because you know it does. Is that what is occurring with PureOhio? I don't know. But I know for fact that in many circles her ethnicity IS A PROBLEM.

My suggestion to her is to just focus on her and her abilities and gifts because the right people will be attracted to her for what she has to offer. EVERY woman on the planet will be submissive to the "right man." So listening to these writers discussing women from the west not being submissive is just completely incorrect as well.

@ B

Also your little comments that I am on a tirade and I am bitter.

lolololololol

smh

shut it. bitter I am not. just factual.

Shy-One:

@ B

Because YOU don't fall in that category - don't say it doesn't occur, because you know it does.  Is that what is occurring with PureOhio?  I don't know.  But I know for fact that in many circles her ethnicity IS A PROBLEM.

I am more focused on the African circles. I still dont think (in the context of socialization) that the guys went cold on her cos of her parentage. Marriage-wise, then I might be a little persuaded but not dating wise.

I have seen her picture and I can tell you that she wont have any problem dating a naija man if thats what she wants. She just have to wait for the right guy and stop thinking that her parentage is a handicap cos it is not.

Shy-One:

@ B

Also your little comments that I am on a tirade and I am bitter.

lolololololol

smh

shut it. bitter I am not. just factual.

Well thats what u sounded like for a minute.

I don't know what's up with you guys and this 'Akata" you guys keep calling AAs

Annoying as hell,

@ OP

It depends on who you are dealing with.  If you are dealing with young Nigerians in their 20s, then it must be you but if it's 30s and up, they are mostly students of the past generation which encourages some aspects of intolerance e.g only marrying within a tribe and nationality. Tho not all of them.

I used to date an African American in Ohio there.  My mom actually likes her more than any Nigerian girl I've dated so far. Infact she kept asking me when I'll get back with her cause she really liked her in fact she was always asking me to bring her if I'm coming to visit her (mom).

I don't think it's because of your nationality at all,  you are actually pretty and I'm not the type who is liberal with that word pretty,

Those Nigerians strictly controlled by their parents are more likely to only look for Nigerian girls even only girls from their tribes alone. Just look out for someone not staying with mama, or getting funded by parents (If not a student), or always needs parent's approval to join you on a Road trip to California in summer (hahahahahahahahahahah), .


By the way, how is Ohio coping without Lebron ,  hahahahahahah.  Many Nigerian girls will actually tell you Nigerian men only like Nigerian girls to protect their own interests lol but I'm a 25 yrs old Nigerian man and I'm telling you we love girls from all over the world. 

Though I must admit there are some Ignorant ones but if you don't want African Americans to be stereotyped, deal with people individually not deal with a people through an individual ,  I'm sure you already know through this forum that some men are already dreaming of you. Only that they need VISA lol.

Stay cool Sweet thing and I'll catch one day still lol.  Hope those 9ja men keep ignoring you till i come lol ahahahahahhah

@Poster

Was it really such a loss that the Nigerians men weren't interested? And why Nigerians? Perhaps they thought

you would be harder to scam. But whether the man is Nigerian, African American, Caucasian, etc. if he is not

interested in a relationship, seek someone else. The world is filled with interesting, successful men, so no

great loss!

Thirst4Lif:

@Poster

Was it really such a loss that the Nigerians men weren't interested? And why Nigerians? Perhaps they thought

you would be harder to scam.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha, thats a funny one LOL!!!!

Nigerians are not scared of scamming fellow Nigerians , so why would a half Nigerian half AA be different?

Basseti:

Well thats what u sounded like for a minute.

ok - sorry

Shy-One:

ok - sorry

LOL, no need to be.

Its the net and you are free to do, be or act whateva or whoever. I wasnt miffed at all.

Anyways, truce?

Basseti:

LOL, no need to be.

Its the net and you are free to do, be or act whateva or whoever. I wasnt miffed at all.

Anyways, truce?

Truce

Shy-One:

Truce

Kool!!!!!