Nigerian + American = Undateable? - Romance (2)

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Re: Nigerian + American = Undateable? by LongOne1(m): 3:22pm On Jun 20, 2011

Basseti:

I dont think that matters one bit. Nigerian guys date/marry girls that are 100 percent AA; why do you think they will have issues with someone that is 50 percent akata and 50 percent naija?

This is hard to say (given the way wey naija guys eyes dey chook when it comes to babes ) but maybe they were not interested in you romantically and just wanted to chat about naija stuff. When they found out that your mom is AA, they might have figured (rightly or wrongly) that you had nothing to contribute to the conversation.

She said they all lost interest, not one but all. And what if they (being friends) agreed it would be better to date someone who could do what I highlighted above in your statement?

That was simply my point. I wasn’t trying to make her feel bad or anything like that, just looking at scenarios.

Re: Nigerian + American = Undateable? by tpia5: 3:32pm On Jun 20, 2011

Basseti:

Nigerian guys date/marry girls that are 100 percent AA; why do you think they will have issues with someone that is 50 percent akata and 50 percent naija?

tpia@:

Poster if you were fully one or the other they might have paid you more mind.

If you were half white, that might also count for something with some of them.

Unfortunately, nigerians are in the business of creating mixed people all over the planet, but integrating these mixed people is another thing entirely.

Of course its possible you said something or acted in a manner that put them off, but even then the sudden coolness is rather weird.

Re: Nigerian + American = Undateable? by tpia5: 3:34pm On Jun 20, 2011

poster, next time, in a gathering, dont volunteer personal information about yourself especially as relates to your background.

just chat about general issues, or join them in whatever they're talking about.

Re: Nigerian + American = Undateable? by PureOhio(f): 4:05pm On Jun 20, 2011

tpia@:

poster, next time, in a gathering, dont volunteer personal information about yourself especially as relates to your background.

just chat about general issues, or join them in whatever they're talking about.

I didn't really volunteer it. Its a known fact among our parents that my mom isn't Nigerian. I guess they just didn't know. Strange though. I'll surely take your advice though.

NaJa HaJe:

this might come back and bite me in the Bottom but , hehehehehehehehehehehehehe

@ PureOhio

Nigerians really are friendly people. It may have more to do with personal characteristics rather than a general attribute within a particular race.

lol, I know my people are friendly. That's why I'm here cheesy

Basseti:

I dont think that matters one bit. Nigerian guys date/marry girls that are 100 percent AA; why do you think they will have issues with someone that is 50 percent akata and 50 percent naija?

This is hard to say (given the way wey naija guys eyes dey chook when it comes to babes ) but maybe they were not interested in you romantically and just wanted to chat about naija stuff. When they found out that your mom is AA, they might have figured (rightly or wrongly) that you had nothing to contribute to the conversation.

This a lot to think about.

Long One:

Plus, can u speak pidgin/broken English? Learning to communicate that way instead of using the American accent, may help too you know?

Are u familiar with the naija way, particularly the delicacies? Goat head pepper soup, suya, edikai ikong with pounded yam, isi-ewu? Damn, my mouth is watering, lol.

Maybe they feel you can’t/don’t contribute to their discussions.

Yes, I'm familiar with all those thing. I dey speak pidgin well well. In fact, I dey speak am pass dem. See, its not perfect pidgin but its good enough

Re: Nigerian + American = Undateable? by LongOne1(m): 4:15pm On Jun 20, 2011

Ha ha, that’s the spirit girl. Tpia has given you good advice. There is always this thing about not being ‘one of us’. It has to be either black or white, never grey. People will always be judgemental/tribalistic/racist, but do not let that get you down. Anyone who doesn’t see you for who you are isn’t worth it.

Live your life and enjoy it.

Re: Nigerian + American = Undateable? by Nayah(f): 4:21pm On Jun 20, 2011

I don't think so maybe felt insecure or have some stereotypes about being Non-Nigerian because they might think you don't know Nigerian culture, but this is not all NIGERIANS who think like that to my opinion

Re: Nigerian + American = Undateable? by PureOhio(f): 4:41pm On Jun 20, 2011

Nayah:

I don't think so maybe felt insecure or have some stereotypes about being Non-Nigerian because they might think you don't know Nigerian culture, but this is not all NIGERIANS who think like that to my opinion

Don't worry, I know not all Nigerian guys are like this. I just wanted to hear what others had to say on the whole thing. So far the information I've been provided has been great.

Long One:

Ha ha, that’s the spirit girl. Tpia has given you good advice. There is always this thing about not being ‘one of us’. It is has to be either black or white, never grey. People will always be judgemental/tribalistic/racist, but do not let that get you down. Anyone who doesn’t see you for who you are isn’t worth it.

Live your life and enjoy it.

Ah ha, I had a feeling it was something like that. Well, these are good guys so I'll try my best to get along with them. If dem no gree, I go comot.

@Potato:

Thanks for the advice. I'll let you all know how things fo with them. I feel very optimistic.

Re: Nigerian + American = Undateable? by LongOne1(m): 4:42pm On Jun 20, 2011

Nayah:

I don't think so maybe felt insecure or have some stereotypes about being Non-Nigerian because they might think you don't know Nigerian culture, but this is not all NIGERIANS who think like that to my opinion

Yep, that’s true too. Was just looking at possibilities.

On a lighter note, have you married that guy that loves you more?

Re: Nigerian + American = Undateable? by ektbear: 4:53pm On Jun 20, 2011

@OP: I think you wrongly assumed that they lost interest because of your mom being American. I don't think people really care about those type of things. Chalk it up to a misunderstanding or coincidence. Btw, you are pretty cute, so shouldn't have any problem dating most guys.

Re: Nigerian + American = Undateable? by Basseti: 6:07pm On Jun 20, 2011

ekt_bear:

@OP: I think you wrongly assumed that they lost interest because of your mom being American. I don't think people really care about those type of things. Chalk it up to a misunderstanding or coincidence.

I tend to agree with this view point.

@ tpia

That didnt answer my question.
Assuming ur assertion is correct (about half AA and half naija being a turn off for naija dudes) , the question of "why" still remains.

And besides, how did u come to that conclusion? undecided

Re: Nigerian + American = Undateable? by 190: 6:09pm On Jun 20, 2011

^are u asking tpia that question, You go old tey angry

Re: Nigerian + American = Undateable? by Basseti: 6:13pm On Jun 20, 2011

Long One:

Ha ha, that’s the spirit girl. Tpia has given you good advice. There is always this thing about not being ‘one of us’. It has to be either black or white, never grey. People will always be judgemental/tribalistic/racist, but do not let that get you down. Anyone who doesn’t see you for who you are isn’t worth it.

Live your life and enjoy it.

Again, how are you guys coming up with all this assertions? I am sure noone here is the official mouth-piece of all Nigerian dudes.

Which one be one of us again

?? Like I said , why would Nigerian dudes have a problem with 50 percent AA and be perfectly fine with one thats from a purely AA back ground?

My opinion all along (based on what I have seen) is that Naija dudes dont discriminate when it comes to fine chicks. And some actually brag about it if the chick is "exotic". Maybe I am wrong, lol,

Re: Nigerian + American = Undateable? by Basseti: 6:15pm On Jun 20, 2011

190:

^are u asking tpia that question, You go old tey

Well she made a very interesting comment. I just wanted to know what informed her of that.

Re: Nigerian + American = Undateable? by livedit(f): 6:24pm On Jun 20, 2011

For livedit before she got married, the main issue from some (not all) but some, that didn't originally approve of livedit marrying their fellow Nigerian. It was because it was thought that American women were not marriage material. That we were not reliable, crazy, ghetto, too self sufficient among other things. It wasn't until later, when they met livedit until they realized that not all American women are the same. Now they are crazy about livedit. So it's possible, those guys may have that mentality too that American women aren't no good. This is why livedit HATES stereotypying. Get to know someone FIRST before judging them. Now they all can't get enough of me. wink

Re: Nigerian + American = Undateable? by paddylo1(m): 7:17pm On Jun 20, 2011

@pure ohio

couple of things could be wrong. . .u might be a plain jane. .Nigerian guys like our girls with some little excitement to them. .perhaps a big ole ass, some attitude, big lips, big hips whateva

Perhaps they are all already hooked

perhaps they are still in their white girl dating phase

I know that when i was in the states, i dated white chicks for a while then switched to AA chicks, then African chicks and finally only Naija chicks

so give it some time

could be also cause u are mixed. . its wierd but am in the point in my life that i only want a Nigerian chick by my side. .preferably igbo. .

oh well. . be cool

Re: Nigerian + American = Undateable? by dayokanu(m): 8:20pm On Jun 20, 2011

I dont think it has anything to do with your American side.

What are the ages of the people involved

Re: Nigerian + American = Undateable? by omega25red(m): 8:33pm On Jun 20, 2011

poster

im not sure it has to do with your background. Just because people are being social and friendly with you doesn't mean they have to try to date you. Most of these guys might have GF's or they were being nice due to some of the same reasons you mentioned here like being stuck together due to the parents relationships.

don't over think what happened and yes just because a girl is cute doen't mean every guy would like date or ask you out. Besides who wants to date a girl whose parents are close to my parents? i wont be able to break up with you if i wanted to without worrying about what the parents will say.

Re: Nigerian + American = Undateable? by BABE3: 9:05pm On Jun 20, 2011

One piece of Advice: You need to tone your "akataness" down--- Finito! You're a fine babe, so no worries. I like your hair btw.

Re: Nigerian + American = Undateable? by tpia5: 9:07pm On Jun 20, 2011

yes, i like the hair too.

Re: Nigerian + American = Undateable? by bashr4: 9:30pm On Jun 20, 2011

are you sure your not lying, we Nigerian men love and will date anything on skirt maybe your put up attitude cus that can really get us pissed and make us loose interest in you , we know our worth so we don't have time for girls that form. BTW your a very pretty girl ,does your email address work ?

why are you calling us Nigerians when your Nigerian yourself? nobody gives an f where your mum is from as long as your dad is Nigerian so pls rule dat out as the reason.

Re: Nigerian + American = Undateable? by adosjun(m): 10:04pm On Jun 20, 2011

Nothing is really wrong

Re: Nigerian + American = Undateable? by ShyOne(f): 11:19pm On Jun 20, 2011

Here is truth!

pay close attention to Babe and livedit!!

I speak standing on American soil regarding this issue that I have observed for quite some time. Nothing personal or negative just fact! I have also dated African men from different parts of Africa.

Africans a LARGE MAJORITY of them come to the U.S. with preconceived notions from television and relatives and observing once they arrive the condition of the majority of "African Americans" - very few Africans strike out independent of their tribal group----they generally always have one foot inside of their African group AT ALL TIMES while they are here in America as it is their lifeline and support system while they are here. Which means they are heavily still influencing each other thoughts and actions to assist each other to succeed. However, the other side of that coin is that if they hold certain views that are derogatory in nature---they also share that amongst them as well. This constant closeness as a side effect can also alienate them from other cultures so if there are any myths to dispel---it is quite difficult.

Most Africans that I have observed look down on "African Americans" while they live in the U.S. amongst us and vice versa. So Africans and African Americans don't ever really get to know each other. AA's many times see them as odd, ugly, superior-acting, poor enunciation skills, but very high intellect, academic achievement and financial success. Africans in the U.S. many times see AA's as wild, whores, uneducated, dangerous, attractive, great in bed, uncontrollable, etc.

If you were at an African party with a large group of Africans in attendance-----your Akata-ness isn't something you want to EVEN MENTION in that crowd. As they will sleep with you IMMEDIATELY but amongst their own kind, they will be reluctant to be seen publically in your presence for fear/discomfort of being associated with you because of possible backlash from within their community.

That's my observation and I stand by it. An African male will be more readily in your face, show appreciation of you once he breaks from the African pack---find one that will want you ANYWHERE YOU GO. As that person is definitely out there---don't worry or blink over any that flake out in front of their bros.

My advice to you is to identify with your "qualities" and make those "qualities" of who you are to shine so bright it blinds those on nationality/ethnicity - don't discuss your heritage. Half this, half that. I am a half-breed and I know that my babe who is Yoruba Nigerian will face some backlash from some of his kind for even being with me. I am not ignorant to this fact----just as once he is in the U.S., I will face backlash from those that know me as well for being with him and he will also face backlash from AA men when they see us together.

If you want a Nigerian man or an African man as mate to you who is half Nigerian----practice now. Be aware only, ignore being hurt, self-conscious, upset. Focus on you as you are quite attractive regardless to what runs through your veins. Take those halves and make ONE POWERFUL WHOLE. That can't be ignored or unaccepted in any situation.

Re: Nigerian + American = Undateable? by wait4me(m): 11:39pm On Jun 20, 2011

@pureohio
I dont think you have a in the any problem. you look good and any guy will want you base on your look. But I can say much until I talk with you. I am a Nigerian living in the US and we are always on the look out for Nigerians either half or full it doesn't matter. add me in ur messenger list lets chat. my email is royality4me@yahoo.com

Re: Nigerian + American = Undateable? by PureOhio(f): 1:25am On Jun 21, 2011

paddy_lo:

@pure ohio

couple of things could be wrong. . .u might be a plain jane. .Nigerian guys like our girls with some little excitement to them. .perhaps a big ole Bottom, some attitude, big lips, big hips whateva

Perhaps they are all already hooked

perhaps they are still in their white girl dating phase

I know that when i was in the states, i dated white chicks for a while then switched to AA chicks, then African chicks and finally only Naija chicks

so give it some time

could be also cause u are mixed. . its wierd but am in the point in my life that i only want a Nigerian chick by my side. .preferably igbo. .

oh well. . be cool

I'm quite endowed physically actually, so I don't think that should be a problem. Thanks for the advice.

BABE!:

One piece of Advice: You need to tone your "akataness" down--- Finito! You're a fine babe, so no worries. I like your hair btw.

tpia@:

yes, i like the hair too.

Thank you---

dayokanu:

I dont think it has anything to do with your American side.

What are the ages of the people involved

Earlier 20s - late 20s

@ Everyone: Thanks for the comments. I Really appreciate them.

Re: Nigerian + American = Undateable? by tpia5: 1:31am On Jun 21, 2011

Bassetti

not every nigerian likes the idea of dating or being friends with someone who is half-something.

True, people are more open minded these days but even then being mixed isnt necessarily always seen as a good thing especially when it comes to marriage. People tend to associate the person with the non-them side (dont know if you understand that) ie the "other" side.

It takes time occasionally before you can fit in, and in some circles, you generally cant.

I'm not saying its a good or bad thing, however. Just stating the way things are.

Also, its not just a nigerian/AA thing. Its nigerian/wherever.

Re: Nigerian + American = Undateable? by PureOhio(f): 1:33am On Jun 21, 2011

@Shy-one: Thank you so much for shedding some light on this issue. I honestly had a feeling it had something to do with what you just said. It really baffles me b/c their parents knew my parents so for them to not have known seems very strange. I appreciate your advice but it's just not in my nature to hide who I am just to appease others embarassed

Re: Nigerian + American = Undateable? by tpia5: 3:14am On Jun 21, 2011

PureOhio:

Thank you---

you're welcome.

dont let 190 [or many of these guys] confuse you, so you wont be remembering this song later:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2v4jjToSEE

j/k, or maybe not.

Re: Nigerian + American = Undateable? by Nobody: 3:20am On Jun 21, 2011

I don show grin

Re: Nigerian + American = Undateable? by Nobody: 3:22am On Jun 21, 2011

Where is my boy 190, have u gotten another ban? grin

Re: Nigerian + American = Undateable? by MrsChima(f): 4:11am On Jun 21, 2011

Hello PureOhio.

Never change yourself for ANYBODY regardless if they are Africans or Americans. You are what you are. You didn't ask your father to screw your mother and your mother to carry you to term. You are here. It doesn't matter if you was brown, yellow, pink, azure, torquiose, and silver. There are going to be people that will dislike you JUST BECAUSE.

The FACT that you are a product of African and Black American union shows that misconceptions isn't forever. Shyone touches some of the basic viewpoints of African views on Black Americans and Black American views on Africans. It will always be there unfortunately and that's life.

If you find someone that loves you FOR YOU regardless what their families and friends say that is priceless and hold on that that. It could be the fact that you told them your mother is Black American and the views crept in or it could be like someone said they were just being friendly. Chalk it up as an experience and enjoy it. cheesy

Remember do not CHANGE YOURSELF because the one FOR YOU whether he is Nigerian or Black American WANTS you as you are. wink

He just may love that extra "akata-ness" in you.

Re: Nigerian + American = Undateable? by campbell05: 4:49am On Jun 21, 2011

@Poster The Only Reason they won't have anything to do with you is just so so so SIMPLE. because you're an AKATA , Nigerian guys tries as much as possible to avoid Akata's, It's actually has something to do with their attitude, But i am available if you don't mind just that i live in another State,

Re: Nigerian + American = Undateable? by MrsChima(f): 4:53am On Jun 21, 2011

campbell05:

@Poster The Only Reason they won't have anything to do with you is just so so so SIMPLE. because you're an AKATA , Nigerian guys tries as much as possible to avoid Akata's, It's actually has something to do with their attitude, But i am available if you don't mind just that i live in another State,

Are you a Nigerian?

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