Mrs.Chima:

Hello PureOhio.

Never change yourself for ANYBODY regardless if they are Africans or Americans. You are what you are. You didn't ask your father to screw your mother and your mother to carry you to term. You are here. It doesn't matter if you was brown, yellow, pink, azure, torquiose, and silver. There are going to be people that will dislike you JUST BECAUSE.

The FACT that you are a product of African and Black American union shows that misconceptions isn't forever. Shyone touches some of the basic viewpoints of African views on Black Americans and Black American views on Africans. It will always be there unfortunately and that's life.

If you find someone that loves you FOR YOU regardless what their families and friends say that is priceless and hold on that that. It could be the fact that you told them your mother is Black American and the views crept in or it could be like someone said they were just being friendly. Chalk it up as an experience and enjoy it.

Remember do not CHANGE YOURSELF because the one FOR YOU whether he is Nigerian or Black American WANTS you as you are. He just may love that extra "akata-ness" in you.

pleep:

Atlanta you say? I was there last week   not at a Nigerian conference though

Anyway im a Nigerian guy, about your age, and i don't think we are really choosy when it comes to ethnicity, and you look very Nigerian. Now it is true that many African men have a sort of bias against African Americans but its not racial its cultural. I know a half A.A half African women that dates many Africans.
Its possible that those guys were pretending [/i]not to be interested, I do that sometimes and it works wonders  

Btw are these guys born in the U.S or Nigeria or the U.S that makes a [i]huge difference.

PureOhio:

Thanks. lol, I was thinking the same thing about being born half and half. These guys better get their act together. I've met some non-Nigerian Africans who don't seem to mind that my mom is an akata.

Yeah, Atlanta

Oh no, please don't get me wrong. I don't think all Nigerian men are like those fellas I mentioned. I just wanted to hear what some people had to say.

Some of the guys were born in the US and raised in Naija, some were raised in the US and born in Naija, some were born and raised in Naija, and some of them were born and raised in the US. lol, their all over the place.

Araboy:

I like AA women who got the front and the back and I get along just fine with them

Funny

campbell05:

@Mrs.Chima yes,

campbell05:

@Poster The Only Reason they won't have anything to do with you is just so so so SIMPLE. because you're an AKATA , Nigerian guys tries as much as possible to avoid Akata's, It's actually has something to do with their attitude, But i am available if you don't mind just that i live in another State,

campbell05:

if i was in that gathering i'd avoid her! she might be different,  It's just like how you guys in lasgidi few stout,  that is how they view them here because they are troublesome and very aggressive, and they are lousy too,  No body Like wahala.

PureOhio:

I'm quite endowed physically actually, so I don't think that should be a problem.

Some of the guys were born in the US and raised in Naija, some were raised in the US and born in Naija, some were born and raised in Naija, and some of them were born and raised in the US. lol, their all over the place.

campbell05:

if i was in that gathering i'd avoid her! she might be different, It's just like how you guys in lasgidi few stout, that is how they view them here because they are troublesome and very aggressive, and they are lousy too, No body Like wahala.

"I dont think its about your nationality. I know Nigerians are one of the most friendliest people on this planet and I dont think they actually give a toss about a persons nationality or race."

Mrs.Chima:

Ghanian and other West African men LOOOOOOVES Black American women.  If you ever go to Ghana and if you got that FRONT AND BACK.  You are a done deal.  You may wants to bring some mace with you if you decides to go.  Just saying.  

Nigerian men on my side of the EARTH are funny acting sometimes.  It depends on if they been here a minute or if they are FOBA (FRESH OFF THE BOAT)  Other African men do not seems to have an issue with Black American women which is interesting.  It must be a certain group that have an issue with Black American women I supposed.  Hmm.

I have noticed CERTAIN African men do not appreciate women who show independence and strong willness. Interesting. It could be that too.

campbell05:

if i was in that gathering i'd avoid her! she might be different, It's just like how you guys in lasgidi few stout, that is how they view them here because they are troublesome and very aggressive, and they are lousy too, No body Like wahala.

sexylogan:

this is the first time i'm hearing that 9ja guys passsed s babe over becuz one of her parents is AA. And u said this isnt your first exprrience. If you can't ask them directly maybe u shud ask a Nigerian lady to find out frm her brothers or close peeps if there's sum particular reason why naija guys feel this way. Best of luck.
P.S. : there are lots of nigerians who'l love u for who u are and nt giv a hoot what nationality your parents are.

bumba1234:

@ PureOhio, Nigerian + American = VERY DATEABLE, am in one now and its the best i have ever had, dont know what the problems dos guys have, have what u have said, u seem cool, am sure u will find your match sooner than later, just be urself,

anotibeat:

I saw your pics and wondered y anyone will just ignore you, and i made my conclusion, most Naija men dont want to have anything to do with ''mummy's girl'' u look like one and maybe a ''butty'' too, and all men now understand that most butty relationship dont last, getting married to a spoilt girl will not just be an option for any normal sensible guy, im not saying you are spoilt, but girls of today should learn how to be dependent. more reasons, anyway.

Lovexme:

Forget bout those guys, you sound like a cool lady. If only I were in Ohio

PureOhio:

I'm quite endowed physically actually, so I don't think that should be a problem.  Thanks for the advice. 

Thank you---

Earlier 20s - late 20s

@ Everyone: Thanks for the comments. I Really appreciate them.

Sicherheit:

@ PureOhio
Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't you people just meet? Did you expect them to be all up on you just like that? Give it more than a couple of meeting before jumping to the conclusion that they've lost interest in you. It's hard to believe but not all Nigerian guys are dog panting after the next steak.

elrony:

@pureohio shawty this aint worrying urself out!!, itz not dat they dont like ya, thing is: they gat their own personal reasons!

and it aint all nigerian dudes cos i like ya (pix)   so cheer up!!

marabout:

Lady Pure,

Those 20s -late 20s are not ready to settle down yet. Probably still having a swell time.
They may believe that black ladies go on about marriage too soon.
Hot blooded Nigerian men are not known to pass over a pretty babe like you BUT I did same to a few ladies (non-nigerian Africans) in the past. They were very sexy but I had passed the stage of starting anything with any babe just for the sake of it. I wanted to settle down.
Who knows: maybe you have always bumped into guys with enough on their plate already (womenwise).

(1)Don't be too talkative

(2) Don't be like in your face: but smile and be friendly

(3) If you want to meet Naija boys dress nice/ladylike but conservatively. A dress made with african fabric would help, showing your appreciation for African way of life.

(4) Don't fall for just any Dele, Okafor , Alechenu, Garuba, or Nosa  that comes your way. Don't be in a hurry. There are still some good Naija dudes out there.
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adconline:


I need asnwers to the following questions though!

1. How close are u families,  i mean does your parents and thiers act like sibblings. Its a possibility they see you as a sister and so your a no date zone.

2. How old are u, or better put, what is the age difference between u and these dudes! Cos if your much younger then worsens the issue in 1 above, if your older almost same but well,

3. Financial reasons might be a part of it, maybe your family being more affluent than thiers, or vice versa.

What am saying is, it might be anytin but not your race,


I like your answers! I'd like to add more. If it had something to do with your parentage, a Nigerian dude will be more inclined to date you because of your Naija connection. So your background is a great addition not a baggage if a guy is truly  interested in a girl who has got Naija link.

I dont know why people get this general assumption that Africans look down on AA's in the US.  Africans are more likely to be  made fun of fun than AA's. Africans  have image deficit- sometimes u get to receive comments like U dont look African, U look good for an African, I didnt know you were African, when did you learn English etc.

Also I dont think Nigerians behave the  same way as East or southern Africans would, so lumping Africans together does not really answer our question.

Maybe the guys did not find you datable not because of your parentage, but  because of the relationships your parents have with their parents.
Did you see those Naija guys hooking up with other girls at the party? If so, what was the ratio of girls to boys?

How about location? Your profile gives an illusion of someone who does not live in ATL, so if most of the guys live in ATL, they might not be ready for out of state dating.

Another  thing is the age difference, age matters to most guys, they don't want to  be  put under  pressure to do anything against their will.

Cuteobi:

Pureohio this is d 1st time am hearing dis.y would any guy not want to hook up with such a fine chick.if dem naija guys dont want ya,go out of the circle baby.nie hair baby!

@190 if pureohio doesnt want u nor ya money,am all urs sweetie!

milehigh06:

this really beats my imagination.Nigerians snubbing other Nigerians at functions in the states
when I 1st got here,was intent on seeking out a few Nigerians to be friends with so I go feel at home small,Oh booy big mistake.All but one of the Nigerians I met in denver acted like I was bugging them and to make it really annoying,you have most of them driving cabs,security at the courts and co and still push their silly hair filled nose at you.
was at an ebga function like 3weeks ago and i remember seeing some guy who sat right beside me at the table who was acting like "him poo no dey smell" and then saw him again yesterday at the court(going to pay a ticket) and he was the security guy and he recognised me instantly but had to hide his face(maybe na cos of the machine wey i bring or just pure shame) and that really baffled me.I have not had any pleasant experience with Nigerians here,apart from 1 Nigerian and guess what! omo boi is doing very very good.owns a restaurant and got links up the hizzy but i hav e never seen him act like him poo no dey smell
sorry for rambling,just woke up and eye never clear