@ Kconfused

I connected with him on the phone before i met him. I am a professional, with a very good paying job. I never thought i would meet someone in that category, let alone better. So when we started talking i realized that he's better than me.

I LIKED HIM before i met him. He was perfect. IT was on meeting him that i started having all these issues. I was not attracted to him at first, but i saw potential. I knew if he was a little bit taller, he would be perfect. Then i realized there's no one perfect out there

So please focus on all the positives.  It was not difficult to have sex with him. He use to tell me in explicit tantalizing details what he'll do to me sexually when he sees me. It was awkward the first night, but on the 3rd ,4th night, i was the one coming on him. Everything felt so right, then i knew i was going marry him. maybe you should have phone intimacy with him, that eases things up. But remember I CONNECTED with him on all levels before sex.

He talked about marriage weeks into our dating, proposed after two months. I kneel down and thank God everyday that i did not throw him away for the taller guy. I'm not inlove with him yet, but i see us growing together inlove. he is someone i know i'll be happy with, someone i'll be at peace with. Someone who wants to love me and make me happy.


The other guy  i was on fire for ran away when i asked what he wants. On the other hand, my guy was here telling me what he wants for me, for us . isn't that beautiful? Sometimes we women are our own worst enemy. I think we like to go for guys who don't want us, or only want us for a moment. I'm glad i did not make that mistake AGAIN

@uyai- I really think you can relate to my situation. It sounds so similar that it scares me. I prayed for a long time for God to send me a good person I have preparing myself for this and he is here and it seems like I'm ungrateful. I'm afraid that God punishes me for the physical faults that I see in this man. After all I never ask God to send me an attractive man I asked for a good man. I know the answer in my heart but I can't look past what I see. My best friend made a comment to me one day and it stuck with me for a long time. She posed the question - What if you had a terrible accident and your face was ruined, how would you feel if he didn't want to be with you because of the way  you looked? I know I'm wrong and I'm not denying it and just want to love and treat this man the way that he deserves.

Oh oh, I am getting your drift. Your problem is self inflicted! You are beautiful and he is ugly yet rich and kind. You don't need advice. All you need is contentent. I stand by my earlier statement. Stop looking for how to make him attractive. Bianca Ona was once the most beautiful girl in Nigeria. He has rich young and handsome youngmen at her disposal but she ended marrying an old ugly goatlike but kind hearted war lord. She has never regretted it. You need to put aside the flesh and embrace the spirit. If you continue this way, you may wake up one day to find that he had gone into the waiting arms of another woman who may even be more beautiful than you. Then, you would have the opportunity to marry handsome guy of your choice.
G/luck.

Oh oh, I am getting your drift. Your problem is self inflicted! You are beautiful and he is ugly yet rich and kind. You don't need advice. All you need is contentent. I stand by my earlier statement. Stop looking for how to make him attractive. Bianca Ona was once the most beautiful girl in Nigeria. He has rich young and handsome youngmen at her disposal but she ended marrying an old ugly goatlike but kind hearted war lord. She has never regretted it. You need to put aside the flesh and embrace the spirit. If you continue this way, you may wake up one day to find that he had gone into the waiting arms of another woman who may even be more beautiful than you. Then, you would have the opportunity to marry handsome guy of your choice.
G/luck.

Sure, thanks Olanajim. Will be in touch!

uyai:

@ Kconfused

I connected with him on the phone before i met him. I am a professional, with a very good paying job. I never thought i would meet someone in that category, let alone better. So when we started talking i realized that he's better than me.

I LIKED HIM before i met him. He was perfect. IT was on meeting him that i started having all these issues. I was not attracted to him at first, but i saw potential. I knew if he was a little bit taller, he would be perfect. Then i realized there's no one perfect out there

So please focus on all the positives.  It was not difficult to have sex with him. He use to tell me in explicit tantalizing details what he'll do to me sexually when he sees me. It was awkward the first night, but on the 3rd ,4th night, i was the one coming on him. Everything felt so right, then i knew i was going marry him. maybe you should have phone intimacy with him, that eases things up. But remember I CONNECTED with him on all levels before sex.

He talked about marriage weeks into our dating, proposed after two months. I kneel down and thank God everyday that i did not throw him away for the taller guy. I'm not inlove with him yet, but i see us growing together inlove. he is someone i know i'll be happy with, someone i'll be at peace with. Someone who wants to love me and make me happy.

The other guy  i was on fire for ran away when i asked what he wants. On the other hand, my guy was here telling me what he wants for me, for us . isn't that beautiful? Sometimes we women are our own worst enemy. I think we like to go for guys who don't want us, or only want us for a moment. I'm glad i did not make that mistake AGAIN

Hmmmmmm!  I am speechless!  I have the utmost respect for you Uyai!  There is nothing like a woman who knows what she wants!  Your story is very realistic and captivating.  I wish most ladies would think like you and leave these jobless Omarion-faced players alone.  Like it is only men that were born to explore their sexuality?  As long as it is genuine and you have a sense of purpose in a relationship, nothing wrong with sharing your sexuality with someone you care about.

@Kconfusion

Hope you read that?     Sit in one corner and be making sisi eko bridge oh!

olanajim:

Oh oh, I am getting your drift. Your problem is self inflicted! You are beautiful and he is ugly yet rich and kind. You don't need advice. All you need is contentent. I stand by my earlier statement. Stop looking for how to make him attractive.

Bianca Ona was once the most beautiful girl in Nigeria. He has rich young and handsome youngmen at her disposal but she ended marrying an old ugly goatlike but kind hearted war lord. She has never regretted it. You need to put aside the flesh and embrace the spirit. If you continue this way, you may wake up one day to find that he had gone into the waiting arms of another woman who may even be more beautiful than you. Then, you would have the opportunity to marry handsome guy of your choice.
G/luck.

If I wrote that now Olanajim, you will be the first to call me "insensitive".

You say Dim Odumegwu na ugly goat like, but kind-hearted warlord?

You are not well!

This thread wan funny quench pesin oh! Chineke! 

@Kconfused
This your thread is becoming a blockbuster oh!  No telling what you would come up with next.  Please I am waiting for your next move!

Na waoo, i no even know if this nairaland na comeday centre now because, you go kill person with laughterooooooo


Anyway what id just say is that [size=8pt][size=8pt] Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.[/size][/size],


Love na very dangerous subject ooooo

@ Kconfused

I remember praying to God for a good man. I just got out of a third straight relationship with Mr. perfect. I was walking when i made that i'm tired lord prayer. When i met my guy, i had that feeling that he might be the one. I was like heck no. I forgot to ask God to make him Taller. I'm almost 5" 5' and he's 5" 6'. i wrestled with that for a while, but then realized IT WAS NOT HIS FAULT, it is something he couldn't control. I even told him i had a problem with his height. He replied that he unfortunately cannot do anything about it.

When once you look past a particular feature that is bothering you, you'll one day realize the beauty that only you can see in your man. It helps to bond with him though. Talk about everything from your future plans, career, number of children to sex. You're gonna feel like you've known him for a long time.

Do not listen to all those girls who are telling you he's ugly. it is very Hard to find a man anywhere who has integrity, who is responsible, who has morality and is ready to commit. Do not let anyone take the cake from your hands. if you leave him, you'll find him in the hands of a BEAUTIFUL woman.

Uyai, you are very correct. I like your input and it is enough to help her make up her mind to nurture love and sustain stability.

But I disagree with you on the last sentence. He won't find a beautiful woman but a more if not most beautiful lady should the poster leave him.

Ifabaaba,
who says nairaland is the centre of comedy? Wait till someome hit you with a crazy jibe before you know that tragegy also have a place. Just make sure you are not hypertensive before taking a tour.

Almondjoy,
come to think of it, I was kind to the man who married the most beautiful girl in Nigeria. A girl that could have been his last daughter. I am very happy for him. In fact, I envy him.

Come to think of it, is this man a kindhearted and loving man? In romance, he was and is still super at his age. Bianca said this herself. But for his kindness and love, Nigerian could have been another Uganda, and might have been burried in the land of history.

I am sorry I called him goatlike warlord. He is actually goatlike ex-warlord.

Uyai, you are very correct. I like your input and it is enough to help her make up her mind to nurture love and sustain stability.

But I disagree with you on the last sentence. He won't find a beautiful woman but a more if not most beautiful lady should the poster leave him.

Ifabaaba,
who says nairaland is the centre of comedy? Wait till someome hit you with a crazy jibe before you know that tragegy also have a place. Just make sure you are not hypertensive before taking a tour.

Almondjoy,
come to think of it, I was kind to the man who married the most beautiful girl in Nigeria. A girl that could have been his last daughter. I am very happy for him. In fact, I envy him.

Come to think of it, is this man a kindhearted and loving man? In romance, he was and is still super at his age. Bianca said this herself. But for his kindness and love, Nigerian could have been another Uganda, and might have been burried in the land of history.

I am sorry I called him goatlike warlord. He is actually goatlike ex-warlord.

This thread wan funny quench pesin oh! Chineke! 

@Kconfused
This your thread is becoming a blockbuster oh!  No telling what you would come up with next.  Please I am waiting for your next move! [quote][/quote]


@almondjoy

I hope the next round of laughter will not come from me consummating the relationship. Don't call me selfish when I say if the sex is bad or his manhood is small I cannot continue. THAT IS WHERE I DRAW THE LINE!

I will now wait for all of you to post your response to this now insensitive comment I have just said

@uyai- Thanks for your advice. Question? How was he in bed? Please be honest. Was it exceptional, good, average or considering everything he had going for him you worked with it?

My dear kconfused,

Please try this out.

Firstly, empty your mind of any emotions and feelings you have for this guy in question. Then, get a piece of paper and pen. Write down all the qualities you want in your ideal man(bear in mind that there is no perfect one, including you). After, get another paper.  Of all these qualities, list out the ones you CAN'T COMPROMISE, I mean the 'MUST HAVE' qualities. Be very firm, right and true to yourself. Look at your man and see if he has all the qualities that are a must in your ideal man, that is, all the qualities you need in a man to make you happy.

If you do this without any bias, it will help you to reach a decision. And please,  be ready to accept whatever you arrive at. There in lies your happiness!

Hope this helps.

@ Kconfused

Of course i'm gonna be honest with you. We had phone intimacy before we had physical sex. I've never met someone who could completely turn me on by just TALKING to me. Just hearing his voice and the things he's gonna do, would like to do, gets me dripping. He is very open, he's NIGERIAN TOO, so i was pleasantly surprised.

We do everything together from masturbation(me doing it, with him watching), to MouthAction. he went down on me the first night and drove me wild. After all these escapades, my eyes became tender towards him. BUT REMEMBER, I WAS ABOUT 80% sure of him, with the sex, it became a 100. If yours is less than 30% and the sex drives you wild, please don't stay with him cuz when the sex goes away, you'll regret it in turn making your life and his misearable. Good SEX sure does bring two souls together who were meant to be in the first place.

How does he treat you? this guy treat me like a queen, takes me home to family all the time, tells mom ahead of time to cook my favourite meal for me, i speak with his siblings and get advice from the sisters with regards to him. i am a part of his family even though i have not formally introduce him to mine's yet.

Put all these into consideration and make a decision, do not base everything on sex.

_{Hmmmmmmm! Observing for a change!}

@almondjoy- you are of no use to me if you are "observing"
@Dorcasde- great advice!

He is such a kind and sweet man I guess that does make me want to experience something deeper with him. I've never met a man like this before and it is unbelievable to me that someone could be so much of what I'm looking for.I look forward to hearing from him each day, the sweet things that he says and the early morning calls I receive to help me start my day off on the right foot. I believe that things take time and as the days go by I know this will grow. Today he told me that he dreams about me everynight and I was and didn't know how to respond. I think I might start giving him something to dream about if you know what I mean

kconfused:

@almondjoy

I hope the next round of laughter will not come from me consummating the relationship. Don't call me selfish when I say if the sex is bad or his manhood is small I cannot continue. THAT IS WHERE I DRAW THE LINE!
I will now wait for all of you to post your response to this now insensitive comment I have just said

@uyai- Thanks for your advice. Question? How was he in bed? Please be honest. Was it exceptional, good, average or considering everything he had going for him you worked with it?

 

There is nothing I love the most when an original poster gets involved meaningfully in his or her own thread.

I agree you have to draw the line at some point.  The reason it his highly recommended that you "see, feel and size" the said object before consumation matters.  There should always be some form of "petting" before you make up your mind what you want to do with it.  At this time you can gave the "object" a pass or fail mark.  You just don't jump in blindly to take on such an adventure.

If is not to your satisfaction--then you really will have something to complain about.  Afterall, a turtle will always be a turtle.

olanajim:

Uyai, you are very correct. I like your input and it is enough to help her make up her mind to nurture love and sustain stability.

But I disagree with you on the last sentence. He won't find a beautiful woman but a more if not most beautiful lady should the poster leave him.

Ifabaaba,
who says nairaland is the centre of comedy? Wait till someome hit you with a crazy jibe before you know that tragegy also have a place. Just make sure you are not hypertensive before taking a tour.

Almondjoy,
come to think of it, I was kind to the man who married the most beautiful girl in Nigeria. A girl that could have been his last daughter. I am very happy for him. In fact, I envy him.

Come to think of it, is this man a kindhearted and loving man? In romance, he was and is still super at his age. Bianca said this herself. But for his kindness and love, Nigerian could have been another Uganda, and might have been burried in the land of history.

I am sorry I called him goatlike warlord. He is actually goatlike ex-warlord.

Correction noted.

Ojukwu and Bianca have chemistry bwtween them and as you an see they have found ways to do "their thing"! You are right. Many women have testified to "Ikemba's" prowess! Infact it is no secret. Well don't be jealous--you can always get yours--you just have to be an "Ikemba" super star or "OBJ" naturale!

uyai:

@ Kconfused

Of course i'm going to be honest with you. We had phone intimacy before we had physical sex. I've never met someone who could completely turn me on by just TALKING to me. Just hearing his voice and the things he's going to do, would like to do, gets me dripping. He is very open, he's NIGERIAN TOO, so i was pleasantly surprised.

We do everything together from masturbation(me doing it, with him watching), to MouthAction. he went down on me the first night and drove me wild. After all these escapades, my eyes became tender towards him. BUT REMEMBER, I WAS ABOUT 80% sure of him, with the sex, it became a 100. If yours is less than 30% and the sex drives you wild, please don't stay with him because when the sex goes away, you'll regret it in turn making your life and his misearable. Good SEX sure does bring two souls together who were meant to be in the first place.

How does he treat you? this guy treat me like a queen, takes me home to family all the time, tells mom ahead of time to cook my favourite meal for me, i speak with his siblings and get advice from the sisters with regards to him. i am a part of his family even though i have not formally introduce him to mine's yet.
Put all these into consideration and make a decision, do not base everything on sex.

Thank God I had sex today for sunday worship.  This is a very good aphrodisiac for this cold weather.   Certain parts of my body would have been hurting after reading some parts of this Uyai's business! This would have been serious torture!   My God!  Is this Uyai writing all this or did someone get a hold of her Nairaland account? ----Now, there is a mature woman who knows what she wants!

You do not have to introduce him to your family--please have a good time first. Right now "ain't nothing broke to fix"! You are doing good even if it does not lead to marriage--this will always be a memorable meaningful relationship.

True, it is not all about sex--you have defined this exellently!  Kconfusion--are you with us?

I bow for you oh--Uyai! Please fire on-don't let me disturb you at all.

Kconfused, over to you please!--I am trying to be useful but as you can see--Uyai is doing a fantastic job!

davidy|an:

marry so that u can have a constant p ussy to dip your p enis.

You concern me!

kconfused:

You concern me!

Please pay him no mind. It is the "fake" David!

Well David, this forum is for MATURED minds, if you cannot handle me making HONEST contibutions, i suggest you check into another forum.

Your post are closed minded. What is wrong with someone enjoying sex. Africans like you are the ones chasing everything in skirts and pants and doing holier than thou even behind a computer with an annonymous name.

It only depends on what you want to marry for. If he doesn't do it for you then why waste your time? However if the clock is ticking and you have a history of losers, then marry. History might not change course for you so if you dump him then it could get worse for you.

@ almondjoy

It's me oh ooo, just trying to help a sister out by being as honest as possible. I have two satisfied and happilly married girlfriends who were IN THE SAME POSTION as me. They are the ones who talked sense into me.

uyai:

Well David, this forum is for MATURED minds, if you cannot handle me making HONEST contibutions, i suggest you check into another forum.

May i also submit that well Uyai, this forum is for MATURED minds, if you cant handle me making HONEST repostes, i suggest you check into another forum.
You make me laugh, since when did having pre-marital sex become the sole criteria for "maturity"?

uyai:

Your post are closed minded. What is wrong with someone enjoying sex. Africans like you are the ones chasing everything in skirts and pants and doing holier than thou even behind a computer with an annonymous name.

1. My posts are "close minded" because i maintain that sex is not the parameter by which we measure the strength of a relationship?  

2. There is nothing wrong with enjoying sex . . . plenty people are enjoying it as i type and i am not bothered. I am only slightly worried when people begin to pass along the false idea that sex "helps" a relationship to grow. It doesnt . . . you can have sex from now till the end of the world and a man who wont marry wont. Its as simple as that.

3. No, when i type something it is because i have experienced it, i have learnt lessons and not because i am busy chasing skirts around.
Learn not to make false conclusions based on a few lines. It is not a sign of the maturity you so glibly talk about.

Last but not the least, let no one decieve you . . . 14 yrs olds are busy having sex as we speak . . . it does not mean they have suddenly become mature.

He is the best man I've found thus far minus the 1 negative. I think he's stepping out of his shell and I to find myself thinking of him and what could be. It's very rare that you find a man that is not trying to force you into having sex because he does not want to "rock the boat". The only thing that is standing in our way now is SEX. I'm not sure if men complain about  sex not being good. Women we would tell our friends that he was small or didn't know what he was doing. Do you think there is a lot of pressure on the men to perform?

@davidylan- no disrespect to your post because all comments and advice is taken into consideration but I think what uyai was trying to say was she already had a connection with him and the sex was just the icing on an already tasty cake. On reading her previous comments she was going through what I was going through and decided to give this man a chance and he turned out to be her soul mate and when they finally made love it was so good that it took away her any doubts she had. If I'm wrong uyai please correct me because you have given some very sound advice. Almondjoy- please jump in at any time

david,uyai was referring to the fake david not the real tiger.
see wht the idiot said.

davidy|an:

marry so that u can have a constant p ussy to dip your p enis.

@ David

AS you can see, I was not refering to you. But your point is still well noted.

nwando:

david,uyai was referring to the fake david not the real tiger.
see wht the idiot said.

Osanobua! See what this criminal is putting me through!
Thank you Nwando!!

uyai:

@ David

AS you can see, I was not refering to you. But your point is still well noted.

I am so very sorry. I saw the name David and assumed you were refering to me.
Appologies if my reply was harsh.

kconfused:

He is the best man I've found thus far minus the 1 negative. I think he's stepping out of his shell and I to find myself thinking of him and what could be. It's very rare that you find a man that is not trying to force you into having sex because he does not want to "rock the boat". The only thing that is standing in our way now is SEX. I'm not sure if men complain about sex not being good. Women we would tell our friends that he was small or didn't know what he was doing. Do you think there is a lot of pressure on the men to perform?

lol i have had this very problem before and to be frank the first time a girl actually complained that i was not being aggressive towards her my jaw dropped! I dont believe in forcing a woman into having sex, it is probably down to no. 4 or 5 on my list of priorities in a relationship and it is always a puzzle to me that women place so much emphasis on it as a important part of a relationship.
Anyway we all have different oppinions . . . as for me, sex is fun but its not the most important thing to me. I'd rather have a woman i can connect with soul to soul before i start thinking about sex.

Perhaps things have changed and the world has left me behind.

Would the real David please stand up phonies need not respond,

@davidylan - I have a question for you. I pose this question to you because I have[b] uyai [/b] who went through a similar situation so I'm looking for a male perspective.

Have you ever met a woman that you were NOT psychically attracted but you knew that she was the right woman yet still you did not pursue the relationship because of this? Please be honest.

kconfused:

@davidylan - I have a question for you. I pose this question to you because I have[b] uyai [/b] who went through a similar situation so I'm looking for a male perspective.

Have you ever met a woman that you were NOT psychically attracted but you knew that she was the right woman yet still you did not pursue the relationship because of this? Please be honest.

lol the real David can be easily identified by the post count. The fakes will need to stay here posting every minute for the next few weeks to make over 8000 posts.

To your question . . . yes twice. TBH if i dont feel sexually attracted to you i cant date you. Everyone thot we were dating because we were so close . . . we knew each other so well that she just assumed it was only a matter of time and we would become a couple but i just didnt feel it sexually. I liked her as a friend and that was it.
That is why i dont understand how you hope to commit your future with someone you're not sexually attracted to . . . Sex to me is not very important but at the same time i wouldnt want to be stuck with someone i cant see myself holding in my arms.

no sexual attraction, no wedding. end of discussion

sexual attraction is not developed (at least in men), its either there or not. and from a few of my female friends, I've learned there must be that 'spark' or 'thing' that determines if there is a possibility of something happening either now or in the future.

Remember you have to be with this person for a really long time in marriage, so why marry if there is no attraction?

Stability+Love+Sex must all be present, the lack of any of the above will result in an unbalanced marriage - starting grounds to go seeking for something outside before the union is even consummated.

If you are not attracted to him, then forget it. He will merely serve as your 'emotional support' but you'll always long for the dude who makes you burn

@uyai. You mentioned your guy not meeting your family. If it's not too personal, what is the reason for this? Also, are you not Nigerian as well?