@Nubian,dont mind them.most of them are ,



where is kupe?

as long as the woman is not married to the father the father has no claim. not even in Nigeria.
that dose not mean they cannot put pressure on the woman. and the only pressure is the finical one.
of cause Nigeria is not ready and it cannot be my battle.
as long as women still bring up their daughters to be second class citizens.
i have done my job  to teach my daughters that they are equal to men ie if not even better

mamaput:

women are brainwashed to see themselves as second class.

Interesting, i've never heard of that before. Women as second class citizens in Nigeria?

mamaput:

what did they teach you boys at school so that you will make good husband.

nothing  why because  you are the buyer semi god.

they taught us to be responsible citizens of the state, to respect our familes and wives, to work hard to support the basic unit of the state (the family), to be independent thinkers (even with limited resources) . . . i must say we arent doing too badly.

RampantT:

That's the blind truth. . .Nigeria is not ready. We all know that. . .saying it's ready bla bla, is not going to change anything.
Yes, some women are acting equal to men. . .as you said, the law needs to recognize it. . .but who takes the consequence at the end?
If a woman wants to keep her baby, but the father's baby want the baby, who do you think gets the baby at last?
The law itself needs to be revised/reform. Truth be told, most of Nigeria law is nonsense

abegi, get back to topic jare

Women rights are for women,
If the women don't fight for it, they wont get it. . .Its that simple, sit down there and keep saying nigeria is not ready.
Are you not next generation of mothers, you can undo all that brain washing by showing your children the truth, rather than raising them according to what society dictates

Its your right to make Nigeria ready

yes they are.

i will only give two examples.

widows plight

if there are no children in a marrage the woman is blamed.
if a husband beats up his wife because she is what ever. people will tell her to go and beg the husband for forgiveness.

HR.hotness:

Women rights are for women,
If the women don't fight for it, they wont get it. . .Its that simple, sit down there and keep saying nigeria is not ready.
Are you not next generation of mothers, you can undo all that brain washing by showing your children the truth, rather than raisning them according to what society dictates

Its your right to make Nigeria ready

Yes, let's hope you and I can change that mentality for our childern

HR.hotness:


so theres a heart and blood flowing in your veins under all that coldness? i'm impressed

You're welcome to try and "feel" the blood flowing in my veins.

HR.hotness:

Its just protection from people who attack you for being a woman (no sexual reference here)
guys do whatever and say whatever they please about women and the law allows them to
when you look at rape cases (how many of the perpetrators actually get punished), verbal and physical assaults. . . don't get me started. I'm in a good mood today

This is not a straight forward case of people attacking you for being a woman. Nigeria is a country that has woefully failed to enforce her laws, its just a pity women fall into the category of being too easy to kick about no thanks to a social environment that encourages them to bear pain in silence.

The law (at least in letter) does not allow a rapist to get away with his crime.

On topic, speaking openly about sex doesnt "necessarily" make you a bad girl. However when dealing with a people who are quick to judge its always best to hold your cards close to your chest.

mamaput:


women are brainwashed to see themselves as second class.

And its their mothers, women who let this happen. . . . my mother wasnt raised that way and so i wasnt raised that way!
its the women wo can actually change things

mamaput:

as long as the woman is not married to the father the father has no claim. not even in Nigeria.
that dose not mean they cannot put pressure on the woman. and the only pressure is the finical one.
of cause Nigeria is not ready and it cannot be my battle.

the whose battle is it?
are you not a woman?

Women are the reason why there isnt gender equality in Nigeria
with talk like this it is wonder we are even allowed an eductaion

when you use yourself as an example it makes you open to attacks. you are breaking up your defence because it becomes personal and people can quote you
never write anything down you will not stick to or defend

Nigeria is a country that has woefully failed to enforce her laws, its just a pity women fall into the category of being too easy to kick about no thanks to a social environment that encourages them to bear pain in silence.

Wouldnt that mean for the most part women ARE treated as 2nd class citizens?

As for rapists being held. puh-lease. All the dude's family has to do is pay off a high commisioner and Mr rapist will be let free then they'll say it's because the girl was wearing 'tight pants" or whatever nonsense

I'm sure we all try to defend Nigeria but to be in copmplete denial of the sexism of the country is just baffling

To Nubian Q, truth is only guys are allowed to run their mouths are sexuality. Look at that "cheap sex encounter thread" for instance. As a Nigerian, you shouldnt be surprised by the mentality of most people so this question is void

HR.hotness:

the only way women will atcually get recognition they deserve is if they stand up and ask for it,
but y'all are sitting at home saying nigeria is not ready. . . . . .

They are already doing so long before I was even born.
In Nigeria, some of us weren't brought up by weaklings. My mother for example has never used words like if you behave like this you won't get married bla bla (except my aunt who is not even married ) but instilled in her daughters that you can't leave your life for a man. She herself was stigmatised for actually taking part in beer commercials by her extended family that even when my dad wanted to marry her, a so called elder brought out the magazine she was in to ask my father if this is the woman he wants to really marry.
That's by the way , the point I'm trying to make is that being liberated doesn't revolve around sex, sex, sex. There are more issues that are of tantamount interests to me when it comes to womanhood. My disagreement on certain issues concerning morality doesn't mean I'm in chains or bondage as people would like to make it seem.

4 Him:

You're welcome to try and "feel" the blood flowing in my veins.

I dont do "trying". you either want me to or you dont. dont have patience for games  

This is not a straight forward case of people attacking you for being a woman. Nigeria is a country that has woefully failed to enforce her laws, its just a pity women fall into the category of being too easy to kick about no thanks to a social environment that encourages them to bear pain in silence.

the first steps in law enforcement i think is to actually have the laws in place?  


@ topic

Like a friend used to say
"If they dont want to listen they shd close thier ear"
I am who I am, and I make no apologies,
If the fact that I am open about my sexuality makes me a bad girl then I wear the hat with pride
If it bothers you please go somehwere else. Who gave anyone the right to judge?

D-reloaded:

Wouldnt that mean for the most part women ARE treated as 2nd class citizens?
As for rapists being held. puh-lease. All the dude's family has to do is pay off a high commisioner and Mr rapist will be let free then they'll say it's because the girl was wearing 'tight pants" or whatever nonsense

I'm sure we all try to defend Nigeria but to be in copmplete denial of the sexism of the country is just baffling

Is there any nation were sexism does not exist? There will be some here in the US who are still debating whether Hillary shld be president simply because she is female.
As for your rape example, what if the girl in question was rich . . . they too would pay off a high commissioner and the fellow will be lucky to celebrate his 70th birthday outside a prison house. It's not always women who are victims of a lawless society like ours.

D-reloaded:

To Nubian Q, truth is only guys are allowed to run their mouths are sexuality. Look at that "cheap sex encounter thread" for instance. As a Nigerian, you shouldnt be surprised by the mentality of most people so this question is void

Fact. Its a man's world, we want conservative women even though we hold them to standards we can never keep. Sorry ladies.  

how did the topic change?

And its their mothers, women who let this happen. . . . my mother wasnt raised that way and so i wasnt raised that way!
its the women wo can actually change things

what i wrote is based on facts if a woman cannot support her child and she asks the father for money, he will ask her to give him the child perion.
we are talking about Nigeria were there is no unemployment money social welfare and child support.
to fight that battle you have to be in Nigeria.
i was there .
i wore shot nicker on the road smoked in public and kissed my boyfriend in public. not just a peck on the cheek.
and i was banned from many houses. because the mothers did not want me to rotten their children, some of my friends were even banned from their boyfriends houses by the mothers of the boys.
and we were not  even half as bad as their daughters .  
no sugar daddy's etc.
we were taking pills (my time was b4 AIDS was real) and not having abortions in back rooms.
there was a time i had a fat confrontation with my dad .
i take the pill so what your friends daughter pretends she has no sex and has abortions in the back room of the local chemist.
i think i really shocked daddy that day.he had to sit down and think.
that foolish girl that was gossiping my name .

stillwater:

That's by the way , the point I'm trying to make is that being liberated doesn't revolve around sex, sex, sex. There are more issues that are of tantamount interests to me when it comes to womanhood.

What more can i say madame! Good point!

HR.hotness:

I don't do "trying". you either want me to or you don't. don't have patience for games  

you have your invitation already.

HR.hotness:

the first steps in law enforcement i think is to actually have the laws in place?  

the laws are already there.

HR.hotness:

@ topic

Like a friend used to say
"If they don't want to listen they should close their ear"
I am who I am, and I make no apologies,
If the fact that I am open about my sexuality makes me a bad girl then I wear the hat with pride
If it bothers you please go somehwere else. Who gave anyone the right to judge?

I don't always have to close my ears if i don't want to listen especially if you're in the minority.
Iran is not a democracy, will you go there expecting the mullah's to close their ears if they don't want to hear about your sexuality? You'd be recieving 38 lashes before you know it.
Freedom of expression is good but your freedom ends where that of others begin. Being expressive should also go hand in hand with having the wisdom to know when to speak and when to be quiet.

She herself was stigmatised for actually taking part in beer commercials by her extended family that even when my dad wanted to marry her, a so called elder brought out the magazine she was in to ask my father if this is the woman he wants to really marry.

What the hell? Shouldnt family be on YOUR side? 

Fact. Its a man's world, we want conservative women even though we hold them to standards we can never keep. Sorry ladies

HR I just wish you luck.

stillwater:

They are already doing so long before I was even born.
In Nigeria, some of us weren't brought up by weaklings. My mother for example has never used words like if you behave like this you won't get married bla bla (except my aunt who is not even married ) but instilled in her daughters that you can't leave your life for a man. She herself was stigmatised for actually taking part in beer commercials by her extended family that even when my dad wanted to marry her, a so called elder brought out the magazine she was in to ask my father if this is the woman he wants to really marry.
That's by the way , the point I'm trying to make is that being liberated doesn't revolve around sex, sex, sex. There are more issues that are of tantamount interests to me when it comes to womanhood. My disagreement on certain issues concerning morality doesn't mean I'm in chains or bondage as people would like to make it seem.

And I dont think anyone says liberation revolves around sex

Its ok to disagree, we all have rights to our opinions but when people decide its their right to judge and call you names, then there is a problem.
i personally dont expect everyone to automatically approve the way I live my life and I dont go around judging people on the way they decide to live theirs.
If i disagree with someones life choices, thats my problem, cuz its not my life and it has nothing to do with me. . . .  
I keep saying on this forum
we are our own person, we shd all make our choices based on what makes up happy
no one has the right to dictate how another lives their life

disagree - yes
name calling - no

4 Him:

What more can i say madame! Good point!

you have your invitation already.

Cool name the place and time and I'll be there 

I don't always have to close my ears if i don't want to listen especially if you're in the minority.
Iran is not a democracy, will you go there expecting the mullah's to close their ears if they don't want to hear about your sexuality? You'd be receiving 38 lashes before you know it.
Freedom of expression is good but your freedom ends where that of others begin. Being expressive should also go hand in hand with having the wisdom to know when to speak and when to be quiet

We are not in Iran, I wouldn't even go there (i probably wont survive )

Right
In relation to the topic, If "we" respond to threads that invite you to talk about sex, sexual preferences or sexual experiences,
"some people" who have read the topic and know what to expect, still take it upon themselves to act as moral judges. . . . those are the people I have a problem with
If I go on a non-sex related topic and start blabbing about sex, then by all means call me names, I personally can't stand people who do this as well.

The thing is when we are discussing sex, why d hell is wrong for me to contribute? why should I pretend?

D-reloaded:

What the hell? Shouldnt family be on YOUR side?  

You dey mind them? These are the same people that totally abandoned them when her parents died. If my father had that archaic attitude that was prevalent then, he would have walked out.

HR.hotness:


disagree - yes
name calling - no

Agreed

would have loved to see their faces when he still agreed to marry her

Really that's terrible

D-reloaded:

HR I just wish you luck.

what for?

oh my god that beer calender was that not about 1985/87.
i remember some girls i knew made one in swimsuit at a swimming pool.
it really caused a scandal in those days.

anyway the problem starts with the fact that most girls cannot even tell their parents they have boyfriends and hide it as if they are doing something bad.
b4 i left Nigeria i had this married friend and we were talking and along the line i told her i still had to go get my pills. her married friend that was with her was so shocked.
how dare i take the pill am not married.

Nigerian standard.

well it will be hard to find me in the sexuallity section.
old women and mothers should not dont have sex

mamaput:

Nigerian standard.

well it will be hard to find me in the sexuallity section.
old women and mothers should not don't have sex

i think its a pretty good standard.

mamaput:


well it will be hard to find me in the sexuallity section.
old women and mothers should not don't have sex

More people shd try this
rather than become nuisances

when i was new here i was open sexuality and collected a lot of insults for that
more so if i will advice a young girl on sex.
posters expected me as a mother to advice them against sex,
but who ever wants to have sex will have it with or with out permission.
my parents tried to stop it by timing me . but they only succeeded in making it difficult but not impossible.

tRoOE:

@topic
Am not your to judge you or anyone but just drop my 2cents. Ciao

this one na 20 dollars you drop.