₦airaland Forum

STENON:
Owkay, Tnx so much for today Explanation and Responses. I really Appreciate that.

Remain Blessed.

You too.

STENON:
Both in One state and In all the States in Nigeria....

Well I don't think there's a high rise of widows generally in Nigeria... If you're talking about a particular state, then I may agree, maybe 70 percent, because it wouldn't be in the whole state, it may just be happening in random pockets across the state especially in rural areas where maybe health care and ignorance constantly don't see eye to eye.

STENON:
Do you knw how many widows we have in a state?

A particular state?

Or

A you're referring to all states in Nigeria

STENON:
Well spoken and written. I nw understnd your points better. Looking at what is happening in our communities and the outcome of over-dependence, not fully preparation of Ladies before going into marriage that eventually Lead to Future calamities in various Homes, Disrespect of the Lady among the family members(Inlaws) and broken relationship in the Home, I dnt and I cnt advice anyone to go for such.
A reasonable and responsible Lady should have/think, of achieving something worthwhile, tangible and Presentable both financially, Physically, Cognitively, Academically, etc, and apart frm depending on the Husband Status for the maintenance of Future Family.

Not even nowadays that Male Lifespan is very short,and People are dying like chicken, what will now be the situation of the Lady if the husband has (God forbid) Untimely Death?

* It is good to think Positively and sometimes, Negatively before embarking on an everlasting Journey of marriage*

Loool....who told you that one..

STENON:
Owkay. pls If my "absolutely" statemnt gt you angry, pls I'm very sorry for that.

According to what you wrote above " A lady is always ready for marriage". Please kindly explain How and why?

Ohh come on... angry ke

Did I have an angry tone?.

This was how I was when I was typing it o...

""



Anyways... Let me try to explain as clearly as possible... It might be long sha, but you asked for it ... So don't sleep off while reading..




In this part of the world, in fact in most parts of the world, it's the guy that marries the girl, and by that I mean, he's the one that proposes, it's his name the woman bears, it's his house The woman comes to when she leaves, in most or many cases, her father's house.


A guy is required many times to pay her bride price, buy this, buy that, and in some extreme cases of lack, he may even be the one to take care of her family and siblings... So you see for a guy who sees all this "duties" and "tasks" ahead of him...Marriage is something he has to commitedly and dedicatedly plan for... He can't just be carried away by intoxicating feelings of love and adoration for his wife to be... He also has to consider his very very material and financial responsibility.

Now that said... Looking at all what the typical guy has to plan for and consider before he gets married and placing that side by side with "what a lady has to consider and plan for" before she gets married... The lady is always ready.. Because she doesnt really do "anything"... even if she wants to do, she's not expected to... She's like the proverbial flower that's in the garden just growing and blooming and waiting to be plucked.

An 18 year old girl can get married, whether she's in school, and jobless, she can still get married because she doesn't have to have a house, a car or even an income, after all it's the man who's getting married to her, so the financial and material burden or weight of the wedding and marriage to an extent would not be on her... It's on the guy... In essence whether or not she's broke, jobless and uneducated with little or no achievement she can always be ready to be "married away"... Such ofcourse is not the case for a guy.

If an 18 year old guy even wants to get married he must still have put a financial construct in place that would support the marriage.


Some days back there was a thread about a 19year old girl, an undergraduate, who wanted us to advice her on whether to get married or not to her boyfriend... Do you think the guy would have had the guts to propose if he didn't have the means to financially maintain a family?
I guess not.


So you see... Generically, A lady is always ready for marriage

And so that it doesn't seem I'm angry.... Take these...


and this.....

STENON:
Bro!!, That your last statemnt is absolutely wrong.

Yeah... I would understand if you don't absolutely agree.

I didn't want to type any further if not I would have really crystallized that statement and possibly created a few nuances surrounding it


If I had done that, you may likely not have used "absolutely"

As a guy you HAVE NO BUSINESS with marriage if you don't have any/either/all of the following

1.At least a 2 bedroom apartment

2.A steady income of not less than 100k(either cumulatively from other businesses or from one particular job/business

3. A car.

Now ofcourse the above listed just covers the "Tangible must have" for a guy before even dating, because any decent guy who wants to date a girl and not just spread his seed must have marriage at the back of his mind from the very time he asks "Would you be my girl"

If a guy can't tick atleast 2 of the check boxes above, especially 1 and 2,even if he's so old to the extent that his pubic hairs have become so grey and long, coming out through his trousers to clean his shoes.... He has no business with marriage.

I particularly chose to give my personal opinion on when I think a guy is ready for marriage, I didn't talk about the lady folk, because let's face it... A LADY IS ALWAYS READY FOR MARRIAGE

I enjoyed reading this.



Nice one OP.

It just feels like more than half of the replies I've been reading especially from guys are guys between 17-22years old..

"Knack am"

"Hammer am"

"Chop am"

"Give am akpakpo"


Really are your lives habitually hinged on sex?
Is it your necessary-you can't do without it-food

I find it even shady and questionable as to why the OP chose to bring his "plight" here... What exactly do you want us to do or tell you... You've "combed" her already (hopefully you didn't carry dandruff along with the combing exercise), you've made up your mind to use and get your "fair data usage" from her.... So what really is your point.


Truth is inspite of all your smack talk, I feel you still have a thing for her, there's a mixed blend of hurt, bitterness and anger in your post, in fact your post is very thick with it... But still I sense some subliminal attraction that you feel for her and that's why you're particularly hurt.. You're not just bitter because she sees you as a readily available spare tyre, but you're also hurt because you're still "feeling" the girl.


It's normal to feel cheated and used by someone you loved years back but friendzoned you only to come back later on to profess love for you... But thing is this is life... There are most times no black or white... But many grey areas... You may not have been mature enough for her then... She may not really truly have liked you or loved you enough back then, but as the years grew by, she got to learn more and more about you and hence the attraction...



Enough tori jare.. No be my matter... I've already written too long... Sorry for my boring piece.

frankmoney:
haha its a nice song bro.....great vocals

Awemazing vocals!!!

"Kiss the Girl" - Little mermaid rocks it for me anyday, anytime... I'm an animation movie buff so ofcourse I've seen "gazzilion" animation flicks but I think the "Kiss the girl" soundtrack in The little mermaid would always be one of my best animation flick soundtrack..


Lyrics below

Percussion
Strings
Winds
Words

There you see her
Sitting there across the way
She don’t got a lot to say
But there’s something about her
And you don’t know why
But you’re dying to try
You wanna kiss the girl

Yes, you want her
Look at her, you know you do
It’s possible she wants you, too
There is one way to ask her
It don’t take a word
Not a single word
Go on and kiss the girl

Sing with me now
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
My, oh, my
Look at the boy too shy
He ain’t gonna kiss the girl
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Ain’t that sad
Ain’t it shame, too bad
You gonna miss the girl

Now’s your moment
Floating in a blue lagoon
Boy, you better do it soon
No time will be better
She don’t say a word
And she won’t say a word
Until you kiss the girl

Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Don’t be scared
You got the mood prepared
Go on and kiss the girl
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Don’t stop now
Don’t try to hide it how
You wanna kiss the girl
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Float along
Listen to the song
The song say kiss the girl
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Music play
Do what the music say
You wanna kiss the girl

You’ve got to kiss the girl
Why don’t you kiss the girl
You gotta kiss the girl
Go on and kiss the girl

But really sha.. @OP


That O.S looks like Gingerbread


Particularly the music player



The first ever android phone I used
was a Tecno T3...with Gingerbread
and that's exactly how the music
player was.


But anyhooos... As long as you're enjoying it
and it's serving you well... Carry on

harffie:
its not jur....

It is jare: P

Seriously though, Your concerns and fears are well placed...NYSC camp is a somewhat "training ground" for couples...As someone said, don't become all paranoid and result to text-stalking, call-stalking, or ping - stalking her.

The camp itself has its own challneges -No water,No light, Battery almost always dead,tight schedule and all that...if you now bring your own "hey why didn't you call me today,...why haven't you read your my pings".isssh... It may even make her do that very thing that she never planned to do.


So just chill.


If you unfortunately find out that she as much as kissed another guy...just break up with her and move on..ladies are a dime a dozen,men are a dime a dozen...nobody lose,nothing spoil.

This is an incredibly Hilarious THREAD!!!

@OP

Based on my own knowledge of what "Love language is".....especially because this knowledge is informed by Gary Chapman-Author of the book "Five Love Languages "... heeeeeeeeen OP.. there's no love language on that your list oooo


*Modified*

I can see someone (make I no talk her name again now before bad belle people start to dey use e-axe to dey find my hand) has helped you to add the missing words....if you would edit your post to include those additions/correction; then the title of your thread would be well fitting

22/32.....hmmm

Personally I wouldnt do it because it's a tad dicy.. You know how you're supposed to be free with your girl,and she's also supposed to be free with you... you tease and joke and diss and "play fully insult " each other....There may be times where she would tease about something and I may end up taking it as a direct insult all because I don't see something like that coming from someone I'm a decade older than... I'm a liberal person to a large extent.. but there may be times when I may be annoyed by her playfully tinged show of disrespect... Infact I was talking to a female friend who's "only" three years older than I am...we were having a kinda argument and I said "What's wrong with you"...You wouldn't belive that she took it as an INSULT . I know this may not really apply to this situation, but it still reflects the base line of misconstrued disrespect between an older and a younger person.

So I think it's just better to avoid such wide age-gap relationships

There's also the issue of immaturity.

For sure maturity is never always a function of age but this varies from person to person, some girls don't get mentally and psychologically mature till 25 or even 27,while some get matured are early as even 17...So it varies.

More so at 22,what are her priorities, her goals ,her dreams,do they fit into yours in the larger scheme of things.

Ultimately though for me,...I wouldn't date a girl I'm 10 years older than...both for her own good and mine.

As much as I would want to be very hip and contemporary in my reply; linking the possible causes to strong emotions or happenstantial inter-connecting psychologies... At the same time, I'm forced to also think along the spiritual lines..

I'm not going to say anything with the intent of spooking you or making you overly scared.. But If what you both described has happened or has been happening over and over... with very little time or space between such incidences... Then you may just want to pray about it..

My first thought was the sex... Because believe it or not... Sex confers some really deep shit connection on/between both parties..I'm not going to pontificate here, but truth is sex is more of a spiritual exercise than physical... Let's say 80/20.



But If sex is the reason, how come it doesn't happen to many other people who have sex every now and again or maybe it does happen but it happens in a different way where those other parties are oblivious of it.


Bottom line.. Just stay away from sex with each other for at least a year... it's a good thing she has travelled.. So this would be "easy".. and see what happens.


Cheers.


P.S: This could have been longer, if i hadn't removed all the spooky stuff.

Home screen.

If I type what's really on my mind.. It would enter 5pages..

But in summary..


Enjoy the relationship... Don't push him away to the hands of another woman because of your desperation to marry and have kids.


Or would you rather leave him and marry someone else this year only to find out that the new guy is a cheat?

Age is still on your side... Enjoy your relationship.. Don't make him marry you because of your "neediness" to be a mother... There's more to marriage than that.

I'm not married yet..but when I do get married, nothing would make me and my wife sit in the same car, with me as her driving instructor.... There's no point going through such AVOIDABLE stress, tension, quarrels, disses and the likes of such.


Even if going to a driving school suddenly becomes 500k per 3weeks...I don't mind saving the money for that purpose.

There are so many other more important things to be tensed and stressed about,teaching my wife how to drive shouldn't be one of them.

prettiest1:
So eager to learn but not married yet. My mr. Right, what are you still waiting for na?

Lol

But you know you don't necessarily have to wait for Mr.Right to come teach you

You could just go to a driving school and learn by yourself.. If Mr.Right meets you as an already experienced driver, wouldn't that be a "turn on"?

Oluwalogbon:
Bros .I thanks God that atlast i found some one in ilorin.pls i need games
fifa 15 or 14,and other games
and if can heip root and
upgrade this phone.i also stay in ilorin.pls help me out.......

Sorry man, I don't stay in ilorin


But I finished from Unilorin


So I can still remember some places there

If you want to get games and upgrade your phone, why not go to challenge area, especially along the line facing UBA... There are phone technicians there.. I'm sure they would be able to give you the games you want or if not they could direct you to where to get them.

If the upgrade you're talking about includes rooting, rooting is not a big deal, there are many links/posts on this thread about how to root your M2... Go through the previous pages and you'll see it.

Cheers.

@OP

The message your girlfriend sent you would only have made sense if she worked in/with Facebook as head of Strategic development and Advertising ... Other than that I'm almost forced to use a very strong word for her.. But.. Today was a public holiday no need to be harsh.


Maybe she just wants you to know that she has nothing to hide.

emmdam:
Please, who knows where i can get gionee m2 in Ilorin?

Go to Unity road.. Just after GTB Junction.. There's a phone shop there, it looks porsche with all those nicely looking plastic plastering that modern buildings have.. It's along the line where there are other show-glass phone sellers.

They would most likely have it there.


If you don't see it there... Then just stand there and cross the road after the T-junction leading to Taiwo.. By the Junction there you'd see "Phone Mart"..

There are many other places to get it but I can't really start describing it now because I only know the places by sight not by name..

But your best bet is just start from the beginning of Taiwo road and walk down... Before you get to Queens School you should see it to buy because there are many phone shops along Taiwo road.

banjicom:
Thanks bro, I really appreciate ur comment I think I will get one of d 2 android phone has u said.

You're welcome man.

2aces:
oga pls explain the "oda tins inbetween" or I send a MOD after you

Looooool


Please send the MOD

Why do you want to know the other things, even the lady sef did not ask for details.. Which one con be your own nah

banjicom:
Be like say na Dat one sure pass o, I will use d 18k buy one small tecno, at least dat one no go Get Icloud for head.....

Lol.

If you add 3k you go fit buy Gionee M2

Very solid phone... You won't be disappointed
Especially because the battery is one of the best things to happen to the Android world.. For real.

But if you don't mind the battery, you can add 2k and get infinix zero, I hear the phone is awemazing. It has gorilla glass, Octacore and runs on Android 4.3 Kitt kat.