₦airaland Forum

How is it that you both met him AND finished having dinner with your gay lover at the same time?

1) Work on your Physical (gym, dress sense)
2) Focus on other things but women...

That's it. That's all you need to be a boss. Be a self-absorbed (no it's not a bad thing. change how you reason about it).
You don't need to talk too much. You don't need to memorize some book on pickups, just increase your self-value (to achieve your life goals and health...not necessarily to attract women).
Quit trying so damn hard!

I always tell dudes, you are a sun and other people (women included) are planets.
Suns don't go looking/begging for planets to come to it, suns simply get hot and an entire solar system will form itself around that sun through no direct effort of the sun besides it just focusing on its own hotness.

I'm not kidding.

Boland:
Equality. Perhaps you should tell me your own definition.

Sorry please answer all 3 questions so I get you before responding. I posted before finishing

Boland:
A man should take the responsibility of providing for his woman, and of course not everything she asks for but her basic needs. If she's willing to stick to what you're offering, fine.

Most young men don't subscribe to the ideas of feminism and at the same time they want their women to be independent, be able to cater for their needs and sometimes support their men (financially). These are the qualities a true feminist possess and it will be unfair to condemn what they expect of their man (which is equality) but want the goodies they offer.

I don't subscribe to the idea of feminism and as such I don't believe that Men's responsibilities is to be shared.

Like I said earlier, let the Men be Men.

Q1) What exactly is feminism?

Q2) What happens to your marriage if you are in a rough patch and the wife becomes the breadwinner for that stretch in time? Does it shatter?

Q3) What if she is a doctor or some passionate profession and cannot stay home like a "good little wife"?

I ask these questions because its easy to beat ones chest ahead of time, but there are certain things that happen along the course of life that if both have not already squared certain things out with each other and set the right foundations, that marriage will smash. This is the 21st century and the demands on a family have changed...especially if you guys have plans to live in other places besides naija.

Olifiz:
So u mean a woman who is not your wife can hip all her responsibilities on her bf especially if there’s no guarantee yet that she will marry him?

If you have an issue with her hipping her issues on you, then young man, you need to embrace feminism like your deek depends on it.
It entails her providing for her own damn self.

I personally have nothing against feminism, issue is most nigerian females don't know what feminism actually means, and just feel it means eating their cake and having it. There are responsibilities that need to be embraced with it, and most naija females hate those responsibilities.

Reptlian tinzz

Who needs a wife who anytime when your child or anyone asks her something her answer is always "Wait, your father/my husband will soon come"

What the US did is weaken the neccessitative bonds of marriage so that only marriages that are founded on love can last, no longer just resources.
But the problem that revealed is that it became very clear that most women only cared about resources....a lot of women don't love men (even if they lie to themselves that they do). They only love their utility.

When finally given the opportunity to get rid of the man yet keeping his very same utility (to the destruction of the man), the western[ized] women gladly choose the man's utility over the man....rendering him nothing more than a slave. The west gave women the power to be what they want, so they chose to become black widow spiders.

It's so bad that some female hagravens feel threatening divorce s the way to get their way in any argument with their spouse.


Women are too emotional to wield the kind of power given to them in the west, and they have done very little to impress me in that regards.


I honestly think wedding vows should be changed in the west to better match the current circumstancial realities of marriage here.
Now its more like "Do you accept to do what she wants as her husband or do what she wants as her divorced slave, till death do you part?".

Who in their right decent mind will want to marry under these conditions?
So no, I don't blame the guys out here saying enough is enough. The women can go look for gullible slaves elsewhere!

Guy that's your woman.
She is cute and lovely as she is. There is nothing wrong with some padding.

But why does it matter to you so much what other people's opinion of her body is?
Are you baeing her for community approval or because you actually want to love her?
You sound like a fuckboi IMHO.

Means her body genetics distributes its fat well.
This is what I like to watch out for in a young chick, not whether or not she is currently chubby, but that WHEN she gets chubby (they always will)...how does her body arrange its fat?

Nobody wants that big belly-skinny thighs look.
Let all the fat move down and blow up the ass and thighs first before it starts to manifest in the upper body.

Hopefully this mama passed this arrangement genetics on to her daughter.

slotA4:
I haven't suck dick before and that is what makes me different from your sisters.

Just make sure that when you get married, your #NotSuckingDick lifestyle changes.
We don't tolerate wives who don't suck dick. In my case, she needs to love eating my dick sef. Groceries too!
I expect nothing less than complete sexual worship from my woman.

She's still not there yet.
She better also love giving rimjobs or she's still useless!

UyaiIncomparabl:
Eleyi gidi gan.

Yeah I don't know what to tell you.
Some african men are stuck in their ways I guess.

Women aren't ready for marriage until age 25.
Age 25 is the last brain growth spurt in most human adults.

Elder001:
WHY ARE NIGERIAN MEN SCARED OF CAREER/AMBITIOUS LADIES?

Nigerian men are very hypocrital and confused.
Like they'll clamour for women to work hard and support the family or co-provide but they eventually get afraid/scared when their wifes are taking their ambitions too serious, like they will bring in the "home front" clause as if they are marrying the women just to train kids and cook food. Isn't that the same thing as staying at home to look after kids?? Nigerian men usually say they no longer want liabilities and blah blah but this same people still make ridiculous rhetorics like "A Woman Should Choose Between Her Career and Her Family ". what a cheap emotional blackmail.
You want your wife to work and at the same time giving her options, like wtf does that?? This is one of the reasons why sensible ladies are opting out of marriages because no sensible lady is going to quit her career because of kids and marriage. only the lazy ones do such.

You are married to a lady doesn't mean you're her god.

The fact is Nigerian men are confused. It's now official.

Women are put under undue pressure, just look at this!! later women will be told to struggle in their careers so they don't become "liabilities" now the same men are saying they should forget their career goals and embrace the concept of "family"

One of the worst places to be a woman is in Nigeria. You want her to be hard working, yet not too hardworking, smart but not really smart, career oriented but not much... like where do we draw the line? na wa oo! I think every ambitious Nigerian woman, who has a purpose for her life, that dosnt conform to the "Nigerian norm" should save money and leave this country...




The Elder 2018©
Please don't copy and paste this write-up anywhere without giving due credit to Elder.

Elder only wants the betterment of Nigeria.

Different folks want different things.
I personally think a woman that with goals outside the home is hot.

LivingFree:
No need for long stories, naija girls in the west hold their own! Most have degrees, masters and PhD or are business orientated.
Their male counterparts work in security jobs with their qualifications while naija girls have the confidence to pursue the field they qualified in!

Only butt hurt predators complain because these girls don't do all that submissive crap! Naija girls no dey carry last

Now who's the one generalizing?
There are as many low-income job naija females as there are males. Typically more sef because there is still that aspect of a naija woman that wants to just stay home after she gets degrees. Having degrees is one thing. Using them is another.

All the naija guys I know are engineers, doctors, etc. Unless you're talking about students, of which that is a dumb comparison to make as a student is in school.

YumMinaYum:
Delusional lots! They won't marry Nigerian women but they've been all over the thread like houseflies on mango... I'm glad nairaland babez are past the stage of dragging useless topics.

I must marry Naija.
This I know, because I want to one day go back to naija after one is done hustling in Obodo Oyinbo.

There is just a simplicity that comes from shared roots that takes away the need for some unneccessary arguments!

mhisbliss:
Thankgod you're loaded otherwise no one would care, who your ebeano body epp?

Why do Basic ass chicks who know they have no chance have to say things like this?
With your Fox-and-the-grapes, aesops-fables looking ass

samyfreshsmooth:
Mtcheeeewww!!

Another vaseline crew insta-thirst member.
Thirst away my niggy.
You have no value for yourself anyway.

MissRaine69:
In your mind
If you ask a question it automatically means that’s your cause? That’s how you see life? You only ask because it relates to obese self never to understand how other view a situation?
If that’s the case what a tragedy.

Lol chill. I get you: you're trying to question a stereotype...on the outside.
But what prompted this on the inside? It's not a crime to want love. We all do.

Sounds like the OP just wants love

damtan:
and you really think I'll read all these??

"Hard-working" Nigerian youth's are not welcome here.

I only care for "Lazy" Nigerian youths.

ImaIma1:
It is one of those alpha male lectures. The students will soon arrive and concur and even drop tips.

If that's what you want to call it.
I call it becoming more business aware and knowing how to appraise the value of your existence.

This isn't an ubunja miseducation thread

IamFreedom:


OP, Goan fry Pawpaw

No

Is it paining you that I am opening your yansh and exposing your business here?

tobechi74:
1
Nduka’s wife comes in from work and sees Nduka
watching Arsenal match.He didn’t achnowledge her
entrance
“i am sick and tired of coming second in your life, I
want a divorce”
WHAT HE HEARS ; “she wants a divorce”
What she actually means; I want to feel loved
I want to be respected
I want to be considered more important than sport
I want your attention more than sport
Her suggestion ; divorce is her suggestion of getting
out of a “less loving relationship to a more respected
one
What to do: Watch TV less when she is around.
Give her your attention.
Spend more time with her
WARNING ; DON’T ADDRESS THE ISSUE OF DIVORC

This is stupid.
The man too went to work. There is nothing wrong with him catching his relaxation watching his Arsenal match.

This guy is a Vaseline Crew Legend.

Fellas, hold a damn plate! Lemme dish out some game...and business sense!

When you talk to a girl and you ask for her number only for her to refer you to her instagram / snapchat/ wuteva...
DO NOT ACCEPT THAT as that is not what you asked for. Tell her "Naa if that's what I wanted I would have asked for it".

If she doesn't want to give you her number, it means she doesn't respect you anyway, which means you should respect yourself and wish her a pleasant day. Your dignity is upheld. Self-respect is sweeter than any toto in this life...which you kukuma won't still get WITHOUT self-respect.
If you really want to, you can ask her for her number again at a later time....or not, preferably.

Furthermore, do you understand that she is trying to use you to make money when she tries to add you to her personal thirst crew. It's all marketing and trying to use you to boost her value, while you get nothing in return. Basically, she bought you for FREE.

Let me explain: You use google for many things (search, email, map, etc). It provides immense value to your life...But why? How do they make their money?
It's by ads. By your eyeballs. Yes fellas, your eyeballs are valuable! YOU are valuable and don't let any female make it seem otherwise.
With your eyeballs, google can say to businesses: "Hey we're google and we have this many eyeballs. Let us market your business for you for $$$". But google is cool AF because it exchanges actual value, to you, for your precious lovely eyeballs.

A lot of these "slay pikins" are trying to do like google, only without actually providing value. They are just trying to grow their social follower count so they can try to pass themselves on to businesses as "models" for marketing purposes.

As a business owner, A typical message I get from these girls are "Hello my name is <insert fake stripper-sounding name here>, a model, and I have this many followers on <blah blah>. Let me market your product for $$$". They ain't playing, they are trying to use you to make money. Meanwhile you are there thirsting after pics.

She's making her money when she broadcasts about that perfume she likes a guy to wear.....But What value is becoming part of her instagram thirst crew providing to you?
Staring at a female that will never talk to you and you will never fawk? That's torture, not value. It is also a waste of attention and time, as it just cements the notion that you are worthless among many of her fellow thirst crew and so all you can do is worship her from afar....which is raw foolishness. She has not provided you any value, instead she has TAKEN from your value.

It baffles me how much low-self esteem is rampant with dudes.
Step your game up fellas, and start valuing yourselves.

Look I'm not saying you shouldn't follow babes on socials, do it of your own accord.
But if a female you're talking to is directing you to her social with minimum engagement, tell her "You're gonna have to pay me for that first".

She sees you and guys like you as a dollar sign. Recognize the value you'd potentially be giving her for FREE by agreeing to that.
Be that boss...

kunleweb:
I hate to say this but no one is addressing the oP's concerns, it is epic derailment, make some sense everyone, don't just scribble sh*t

I posted a link to a video describing the sentiment by men leading to what the OP has noticed.
It goes into detail on certain realities experienced in the US at least.

Anyway, this is a vlog of a guy giving a wholistic perspective on what is fueling what you are talking about OP:

https://www.facebook.com/clayton.udoh/videos/10156190781544693/