₦airaland Forum

maclatunji:
Male circumcision is beneficial for men and is a religious injunction for many of us. However, the female equivalent has been found to do harm medically and is not a religious prerequisite. Islam does not demand it and as such once the medical harm can be proven, it should be left. I cannot write about other religions because I don't know what their teachings regarding female circumcision is.

Female circumcision had a strongly cultural and social importance attached to it before it was painted black by the colonialists. A female who wasn't circumcised couldn't marry, couldn't speak or give her opinion in a gathering of her peers and was regarded with dishonour. Female circumcision was and is still seen in some areas as a thing of pride.

There is the belief also that it was had an aesthetic value in that it beautified the female genitals.
And yes, it also reduces the woman's sexual libido thus making her less inclined to stray away from her matrimonial home. Barbaric in this day and age but true none the less.


As for it having health implications, I know for a fact that a lot of boys are mutilated when circumcised by inexperienced people. Cases of phimosis and hypospadias abound. But in the case of the males, the Circumcisers were educated and properly trained to reduce such incidences and today circumcision of malefolk is mostly safe. Why wasn't the same done for the female folk?
Instead of abolishing the practice outright in the name of westernization, why not educate the female folk on proper healthy and non-harmful female circumcision?


Also I know non-circumcised males have a more sensitive penis and therefore enjoy sex more than their circumcised counterparts. Why is it seen as a taboo to reduce a woman's sexual urge but not a man's?

maclatunji:
So, it is probably a modified form of FGM. #Interesting.

Hold on a minute***wears crash helmet and protective garb against ebombs***

Ehen. Now am ready.

What's wrong with the mother circumcising the female child? After all, male children are circumcised as well. The original name was female circumcision, calling it female genital mutilation seems like giving a dog a bad name to hang it.
Cc lewstherin, others.


(Pls no insults. Na question i dey ask)

hezey3davida:
Plz give me the mans number,I need a job too or is there still vacancy in your company. Pls link me up. Here is my Number 08161259106

sharp babe in the house
Abeg if I call u no vex

GooseBaba:
I beg to differ, there is nothing deep in your yarn...

What authority do you speak of..?

In a nutshell societies defines what a marriage is, before an individual can choose to participate. What do you think strengthened the value of marriage for those before us.. Family, cultural norms, traditions and knowing.. These were the authorities..

When you bring in an authority of abstracts, you become part of the problem.

What's the difference between what I said and what you said now. I mentioned higher authority...you mentioned family, culture, etc. We are saying the same thing except that I didn't list it out like you did.

Religion and belief in God is also an authority in fact the main authority by my books.

What...i don't get it...was the baby circumcised?

@empero1 its not enough for her to fear for her life and job abeg. Haba.

Op its just 4days like you said. Give it time and he will cool down. I don't think its a good idea to go out with him at all so you don give him unnecessary hope.


Unless of course you like him? Is it possible that you guys would have actually clicked if not for the awkward ways u met? Maybe you don't want to have a relationship so he doesn't use this job stuff as a kind of IOU?

If that is the case then it is complicated. I would still say stay away from the guy unless you don't mind a roll in the hay with him cos he would definitely bring it up when the time comes and it would actually seem ungrateful of you somehow although you would be morally right if you refuse.


Anyway sha. Its still your choice.

Your topic is misleading.

The man already told you of his intentions the moment he met you. Heck, maybe you were the reason he came out of his office to see what this pretty damsel wanted. Now he is being direct and pressuring you, its not as if he was the one who gave you the job or you work in his organisation or that he is trying to blackmail you.


Do what you ladies do best. Let him down the way you have let down other toasters you didn't like.

Abi, or is there something else?

DWJOBScom:
You never disappoint me!!!!!

Happy new year bros

Rates of divorce are rising because people have lost the value of marriage.

Marriage can never survive under a physical contract. A physically contracted marriage can never be fair because one person will always love the other person more. One person will always feel cheated more. One person will always feel he or she makes more sacrifices than the other. As long as a partner is looking out for what he/she can gain from the marriage, it will remain rocky.

But if the marriage is built on something greater than the two people involved, a greater authority, them they will look up to that authority and not to themselves. They will love and sacrifice and work for that authority and not for themselves. They will derive pleasure and happiness from their spouse because of love for that authority and not themselves.

Marriage without spirituality and self sacrifice is doomed to fail.

This will be too deep for some people to understand.

Lol. Some people think divorces are only initiated by women. Men ask for divorce too!

This your scammer dey stingy o. Mine was $5,000,000.

Ipledge:
i don't say I wanna purchase,but give birth to my own...when she calls me daddy,all d fluid in my body jump for joy

it was your future daughter saying hi to you. It doesn't mean you will have a child anytime soon bnow at least you know your first child is gonna be a girl.

Few people get this experience. You must have a strong psyche.

Man harasses woman for sex. Woman complains.
Man does not ask woman for sex. Woman complains.

What do women really want?

Op, sexual incompatibility is not enough to divorce your husband; if not a lot of guys would have left their wives since.

You have been in this relationship for 4yrs, is it that you have been bearing it since or something changed?
In those four years you should have known the kind of things that turn him on. Use them on him more often.

Draw up a timetable for sex. Discuss with him about where the bible says your body is for him and his is for you(since he is a godly man) and tell him that you need this sex so you wont give in to temptation of the flesh. Use his lingo.

Also make yourself sexualIy appealing. Look at yourself honestly; are you overfat? Do you have your bath each night before going to bed? When last did you change your fragrance of perfume?

Don't lie naked on the bed. Most men aren't seduced by that, they prefer a little clothing on. Also don't announce sex to him(except on the timetable days). Men respond to touch a lot so make sure you touch him at every opportunity. An innocent brush of your hand against his manhood and frequent hugging for 'no apparent reason' will stimulate him and make him think naughty thoughts.

Don't nag him about sex. It is a super turn off. Don't tell him things like 'you are not a man!' You are not helping your mission if you do.

When sex does happen on that rare occasion, massage his ego. Tell him he finished work. Greet him in your native language for a job well done. Hug him after and tell him you love him and he satisfies you. All this will egg him on to try it again.

Keep a smile as much as possible around the house. Don't be gloomy. Married men don't do well with gloomy wives.

Finally don't talk to that your aunt/sister again. She doesn't mean well for you. When your children ask you why you divorced when they grow up will you tell them is because you were not getting enough sex? Keep away from bad counsel.

All the best.

VickyyB:
You've been noticed.

Chai! Babe you r fine!

How to engage in a respectable 3some.

1. Discuss with your wife. It may sound strange but some women are open to the idea as long as you are honest with and stay faithful to them.

2. Meet the lady of both your desires at a respectable place and make sure she knows you both are married and your wife is ok with the idea. In fact let your wife make the first move. It evokes trust. Flatter her nd make her know you both find her attractive.

3. Get her to know you. Do not give wrong information but do not give too much information either.

4. Break the news once you all are comfortable. Most ladies will not agree if you ask for a ménage-a-trois across the phone. Invite her to your home and make her comfortable. Your wife should touch her gently and subtly, she'll get the idea. Then broach the idea to her. If she refuses there is no problem. Let her go. She will most likely tell others of her 'experience' and sooner or later an interested party will seek you out
If she agrees then congratulations! You have had your first ménage-a-trois!



Don't ask where I got this info from

If you made the decision to stop drinking alcohol completely you wouldn't be in this mess

[size=18pt]Where the cake? Na only icing I dey see oh[/size]

Yes it is inhumane and ungodly to deprive your partner of sex in.marriage.

Inhumane: One of your partner's reasons of getting married to you was the physical attraction he/she felt. Imagine staying in the same house with the person you are sexually attracted to, sometimes they will even go about nude in your presence making your feelings rise , only to be rebuffed anytime you ask for sex. It can reduce the deprived person's self esteem, confidence and even love for the depriver. It is like mental torture.

Sex is a powerful force wether we want to admit it or not. It essentially rules the world now as we see it. It os like eating, drinking, laughing , etc. Depriving someone you are supposed to love of sexual satisfaction is wicked and selfish.


Ungodly: The bible says something about you and your partner becoming one when you are married. The husband's body from henceforth belongs to the wife and the wife's body belongs to the husband. That means you give your body as a gift to your spouse when you get married. It is no longer 'your body, your choice' as some new age thinking would have us believe.

Sex is spiritual as well as physical. It is the spiritual nurturing blend of two souls intertwined together. Depriving your spouse of such a sweet union will open doors to temptation from outside sources. Doors to pornography, prostitution, adultery, diseases, distrust, dislike, hatred, vengeance, murder, divorce etc can all be opened from depriving your spouse of sex.


When you get married, remember that it is not only your needs that are to be met, but your partner's as well.

Hatred in marriage comes not at the beginning but after years of fermentation.

secretG:
I have always had one problem....my self confidence!, am 23 and a graduate(graduated last year November-December session) living with my parents and presently awaiting service.on several occasions i have made appraisals of the bulk virtues that make up my personality, and as certain as expected, my self- worth,prestige,pride,confidence,and every other behavioral trait that accompanies a persons esteem has always been as low as possible. and to tell you the truth, am not happy. because the public and social perception towards me is humiliating.

No its not. Its your perception towards yourself that is humiliating. The public loses interest in you the moment you leave their sight. If you change tomorrow they will acknowledge it. The key lies with you.

like the usual me, i took some time to meditate on my condition and if possible draw solutions that would help build my personality. but before that i decided to reflect on my background to unravel and understand the very source of my timidity...like magic, a very obvious yet unnoticed realization dawned on me.you see, I grew under a very dominating and possessive mother who would have you do her bid at any cost(i suppose this is normal, and should be interpreted as respect)i always did all i was instructed to do with joy, and even the devil knew my mum was proud and happy with me. but things are getting a bit moldy, as the domestic chores are becoming too humiliating for me to handle, because at 23 i believe their are certain things that should be left for the younger ones, and i understand that this is not pride.

something happened just yesterday that got me thinking...it so happened that we(i and my mum) went on a morning visit to an old neighbor, and after the visit, on our way back we saw from far across the street, some local truck firewood sellers, and because we had depleted our stock at home, she instructed me to go buy some...i went, bought, counted and arranged them to be packed while my mum continued her discussion with the old neighbor. when i was done, i showed and explained to her how the transaction went with the sellers....and in a loose statement my mum asked me to go bring the wheel-barrow at home and cart the firewoods back home! i was shocked!...my intention was to call the local truck pushers[b](wheel-barrow pushers)[/b] to cart the woods home, but realizing that my mum could conceive and instruct me to do this in an area where am well known and have mentees in school who somewhat respect me by virtue of academics, i was red with anger, green as bile...and honestly could taste the bitterness in my mouth.

Your hormones acting up. You should have simply said "ok mum" then called the truckpushers and paid them money from your own wallet to carry the firewood home. It will also be a message to your mom that you're not her little kid anymore.

Or you could have done what I did(metaphorically speaking). Carry the firewood home with humility then in the evening go to mum's room and have a small chat with her. Let her know you love her and are willing to do as she says but some tasks like the one she gave you that day were demeaning and you would like to do it by paying the truckpushers next time.

i went home and decided to be sure i actually heard her correctly...i summoned our 4th born(am the first) who is 16 to go cart the woods back home. she went, only to come back with my mum...my mum confronted me on the issue, and i honestly explained my side and position on the issue to her....she proceeded to beg me, but i declined...knowing fully well it would reoccur if i let it happen...now she is angry with me!

Nah...this approach doesn't work. She sees it as you rebelling. Anything you want to do, do it in her front at that time. Either obey her or have it done your way at that time but in a polite manner of course.

But as soon as she begged you bro you should have done it. Another opportunity to assert yourself will definitely come. I know the type.

just this morning she called a meeting after the morning prayers, expressing her disappointment towards my attitudes the day before, she bombarded me like the Palestinians,she recounted all that she has done for me and how important she was to me...she stressed that for the fact that she begged me, i should never have refused her!...now am confused! cause i know my mum more than i know the number of fingers on my hands...something worse would reoccur, you should also reason it that for her to have instructed me to do this, i have been doing other not-too comfortable domestic chores.i love my mum, and am not happy that she is not happy....but am more unhappy that she chooses to deprive me of any sense of pride and would rather have me humiliated to proof my love and respect...

Mother's blackmail. Dust it off your shoulder and don't let it bug you. If you let it stick she'll be the one choosing a wife for you and telling you how to run your home.

mummies in the house, please clear me on this...i don't intent to be arrogant, but i also don't intend to remain a baby or a man with a deflected self-worth, esteem or with the confidence of a little boy.

Loooool. I didn't realise you were addressing this to the women. It will be interesting to read their point of view.

Its not funny. Not funny at all.

Used to babysit my.neighbor's kids, was looked upon early on as a responsible older kid so took care of most of them, changed their daipers, bathed them, carried them on my shoulder till they went to sleep, all for a small fee of course

Went to college, travelled out for a while, came back, and now same kids are all grown up, the boys wanna drink beer with me and the girls are gaddem sexy as hell! They'll be like "uncle pabs, take us to KFC, take us to crunchies, take us to see a movie...
And a few of them wink and smile mischievously...
And am like damn see hips, see boooobs, and they dress all skimpy like and I decline because I can't imagine starting anything with any chic I once carried on my shoulder or changed her daipers, no matter how Beyonce she looks now...



Good lord

Bifwoli:
She should have married an archaeologist.The older she gets the more he'll be interested in her.

Lol! Good one!

linearity:
Bigamy is a crime in the US, since they have not divorced, if she has already married in the US; he should look up email address and contact info of the County DA where she is leaving in the US....send a message to the DA with proof of my marriage....if she has not remarried, then he can wait until she is officially married in the US.

They will prosecute and lock her up, at the end of her sentence, they will package her and return her to naija.

However, I will advice against this; you do not not want to hurt the mother of your kids this way and she will never forgive him and might even plan a bigger revenge on him after the humiliation.

Thank you.

Anyway its obvious the woman is lying. See all the accusations she brought against the man to defend herself and make him look bad meanwhile she doesn't want a divorce.

Itsflame:
Please I need female advice or better still an advice from a male folk who understands.
I just want to know how you cope being the only girl in the midst of guys in the house; handling the house chores especially cooking(have to cook for them to eat each time they feel hungry and If I don't do it I will become a bad person to them). It's beginning to weigh me down. A family of 5, advice pls.

How old are you?
How old are they?

If they are your brothers surely you can tell your mom that cooking seperatley for them is taking its toll on you. You are thier sister, nor their maid. Call a family meeting and make your feelings known in a polite manner. They might tease you for it but they'll know its a serious matter since you called a family meeting about it and they'll definitely reduce their demands.

In her response, Bisi Atolagbe, 40, accused her husband of sleeping with one of their tenants.

1. “My husband is having an affair, I caught him red-handed with one of our tenants,’’ the mother of four told the court.




2. “Yes, I attend parties a lot, especially those organised by my friends, relatives and my customers, so that they can continue to patronise me.”


3. She said that her husband wanted to kill her, and that he once put a charm at her doorstep.




4. The respondent said that her husband could not take any decision of his own except he first consulted with his family.


5. Bisi also accused her husband of starving her of sex, saying that he last slept with her in March 2014.



But finally:6. She, however, begged the court not to grant her husband’s wish and that she still loved him.







You still love him? After all the horrible things you said he did above? You well so

They are called MINORS for a reason though I'm sure that term will soon change. Marriage is for the mature minded not those who don't even know who they are yet or what they really want out of life.

You. No. Well.

donkelz:
To all of you who gave meaningful advices, thank you very much. To those who disbelieved and insulted me, it is part of life.

I was working on a very strong plan to get the guy and see that justice is served, but it seems things are not as they seem.

I've begged my cousin and sent her money to go and do tests in the hospital, told her to send me the guy's details (picture, phone number, address) but instead, she decided to chat with the bastard, and of course the bastard washed his hands off the matter and told her he's returned to school.

Give me all I've asked, including his school details since he's gone back, but she adamantly said no, unless I tell her my plan.

So what am gonna do is inform her parents, I think that's a good decision, since she's refused to corporate and is apparently pregnant from all signs and indications.

What do you think?

I think its a case of a sexuaI encounter gone wrong.
Girl goes to guy's house. Girl is tripping for guy and guy is tripping for girl. They start small action but when things got to the main stuff, girl lost her nerve and wanted to back out. Boy saw this as a need to take charge and besides they have gone too far already, maybe both already naked. So boy takes charge and forces himself on girl. Girl offers little resistance but doesn't really fight as she is curious about the sex thing as well(being a virgin, looking to know what sex is all about).

When it is all over, girl realises it wasn't as great as she thought(for girls, the first time never is, what with the pain from being disvirgined and all). Guilt sets in. Girl leaves guys house feeling ashamed. Guy doesn't know what has happened and thinks he and the girl had it good. Girl goes home. Washes herself clean. When that doesn't work she tells a trusted friend or her parents. Her parents/trusted friends go ballistic but by the next day the feeling of shame and regret has reduced and girl is already feeling bad that she told anybody about it. All attempts to bring supposed rapist to book is met with stiff resistance by the girl.


Guy, you have done your part. Leave her to settle herself.

Durchess:
thr is more 2 dis story...dats if its even true., y wld a victim wipe out d evidence

The first emotion a woman feels after rape is shame and disgust. Impulsively she wants to distance herself as far away from the incident as possible.

So she goes and has a bath to remove marks of the incident and also wash herself clean physically and emotionally. Its a reflex action. You cant really blame her for it.

Secondly she may not want to talk about the matter initially. Most girls that are successfully raped will wait a day, a week , a month, even a year before speaking out. Its all part of the distancing stuff.

Its just unfortunate that such actions make it difficult to prosecute the rapist when the time comes.

Another thing.

Married men are naturally proud creatures. Some are more proud than others. If he has asked her for sex and she has repeatedly refused, he may adapt and stop asking and it may become a habit on his part so much so that she is now the one always asking for sex.


But refusing the wife sex, condom wrappers in his person, lack or emotional or financial care...looks like he is cheating.