₦airaland Forum

aisha2:
Toh, to answer your question, its subjective.
The man could have been upset or it could have been in a burst of anger during a fight, mean things sha to say to your spouse.

One cannot catergorically say if he loves or doesnt love his wife from this one paragraph, she may have been holding his collar, calling him "useless" at that moment too so its hard to just decide if he loves his wife out of context. More information will be helpful as what led to his saying that. If he says those kind of word often or if this just happened this one time, is he having an ongoing quarrel with his wife? Did she cheat or hurt him?

However adults should learn to control themselves and what they say to each other

BananaBender:
For a long time, the culture has been "a woman should be seen and not heard". This is suppose to explain why men would be more outspoken than women. Past cultural beliefs stated that women should speak only when spoken to, so it comes as a shock to me to hear you say women are more verbal.

You can post link to that research or you can explain your thought process backed by historical instances.

Again, I can't find proof of the above. Instead, I found proof showing that men who grew up with abusive fathers, end up physically abusing their wives.

Secondly, a civilized society frowns against any form of violence except one's life is threatened. I don't see how "tongue-lashing" threatens anybody's life. A violent person is a detriment to his society because he lacks the self control needed to act like a civilized human being.

The response to "tongue-lashing" should never be violence.

http://www.domesticviolenceroundtable.org/effect-on-children.html
http://www.villagelife.org/news/archives/DV_coverstory/DV_menjustified.html

No, you are wrong. A real man is one who doesn't debase himself to the level of a wild animal. A man that doesn't let his emotions take over his senses. A man that makes rational decisions.

a real man is now defined as one who knows how to control himself before a woman i.e society is aware that the woman will provoke the man but ask the man to control himself

banana ender: @emboldened: Bwhahahahahahahaha

This is beyond ridiculous, you can't be serious. So when a woman is physically abused, she provoked it but when a man is physically abused, he did nothing to provoke it?? LML.

no, men most times do not instigate domestic violence. Women do.and if the man loses control or patience and strikes the woman even onceonce he is immediately branded an abuser

zboyd:
Good question!

Btw...this is one of the most common excuses (and their variations) abusive men give when they abuse women.

"She provoked me!"

"She made me do it!"

"She pushed me into it!"

Nonsense!

Nonso23:
i disagree to agree to disagree.

SirShymex:
I think the problem lies with women folk.

And it should be: when are women going to stop provoking/instigating domestic violence?

Then, we also have to show the same level of concerns for men who are/have-been victims of domestic violence, the same way we have been doing about women.

Once we start doing that - a lot of things are going to change.

Ezibless:
Simple question don cause e-fight o.


thing is, air your mind and let everyone else air theirs. Arguing might and might not make others change their opinion.

pappyrose:
Are u a feminist?

morhtunrahyoh:
I have a friend we are both in the same level, she as been dating this guy from our 100 level days any slight mistake her boyfriend hit her he use either slap or belt to beat her, after a week we will see them together them together again pls how can we her friends help her. Because love is nt blind o

Godmystrength:
Stop lying jere

DWJOBScom:
Have never for moment regretted reading up ur articles/writeups/contributions......! Way to go man!!! You rock

emperorautoline:
N1.6m will get you a clean 04 Nissan Xterra from Cotonu, delivery charge to Nigeria is also included. If you are interested, I have tokumbo 03 Nissan Xterra for N1.350m here in Lagos. I can post the picture if you are interested. What model/year of murano are you interested in. Thanks

shizzle11:
Some of you need to understand that these things about marriage are not in black and white. Nairaland can actually be a wrecker of hope rather than a solution provider.

Anyways, whatever works for one jare. There is really no black and white when it comes to these things

preshuzpearl:
Well I must say am a little relieved to hear I'm not depressed and nothing is wrong with me. Its just weird that I have misunderstandings with people all the time and keep thinking I should just die and forget about it all.
This means that there ar3 many others are like me and am not an odd one out. Thanks for clearing that out. I feel better about myself already

spotit:
of course that's my point and stand.

but i still see it as unrealistic to sugarcoat pills just so that she wouldn't do something drastic. this girl has a noticeable degree of stability, still she has to get realest opinions to make her survey successful and consequently act upon it without hesitation. assurances are great, but not to build her up again to procrastinate

and not be disrespectful, you come off more as a pastor than anything