₦airaland Forum

Be their hypergamy
It doesn't take so much, I'm writing this for guys that don't have much money.

You don't have to waste money on cloth. Go to Katangowa or the thrift store around you buy cheap shirts trousers and socks 
ALWAYS DRESS LIKE A PEAKY BLINDER

they will respect you, they will think you are doing something important and be calling you sir sir trying to lean into your ego

Every month.
Buy Nivea roll on - #500
Buy perfume (cotton club) - #200
For cream buy ori (shea butter) - 200
Coconut oil - #500
You can use it as both body and hair cream
Always bath and brush 2xce daily
Download books, forget social media. It all distraction and noise, Read books during the day browse at night
Mtn plan - #50 for 500mb.

If you want to subscribe and download plenty things like movies and animes

(Sorry for those not in Lagos) 
Go to Ikeja Computer village go to the second shoprite, you will see a guy working for swift buy their mifi (14k) and do the unlimited night plan of 5k for 14 days
After that you can go to yts.mx and download uTorrent on your laptop or phone and watch good movies.
You can also check criterion.com for some of the best movies of all time and watch it
There are 1427 I think, so you can't say you are bored 

You can download anime like One-piece attack on titan and learn more.

You can download the duolingo app on play store and learn a language. I'm learning French and japanese (intermediate level)

For money you can start part time teaching, sales boy at a gas shop, secretary or driver.

It's not how much you earn but how much you are willing to save.
Practice Minimalist living.
Anything that has been in your House for More than 3 months without usage discard it
Live simple

Incase you still don't know. There is no God


Read Atheist Manifesto by Michel Onfray

https://b-ok.africa/book/2314910/10f91a

..

MGTow. ... True freedom

wpadmin:
You remember that saying “You cannot eat your cake and have it”.

That’s not the case any longer.

Highway Ladies actually eat their cake and have it with icing sugar.

Like how else do you explain this?

A girl that is wayward in school getting married to a guy that is well to do and doesn’t look like someone that can cause trouble (not written on the face though).

This is not the first nor the 10th time I’m seeing this in 2021 alone.

When I say wayward I mean girls that are never in class, friday nights you can’t see them in the school hostels.

These girls are the most connected. They know influential people. After playing dirty in school, they still get married to great guys.

Meanwhile, a high percentage of girls that actually study hard in school stay longer without getting married.

But you see guys here saying they would go for brains over beauty. If that’s the case, then who are the ones marrying these ladies of the highway.

I am a non teaching staff in one of Nigeria’s Polytechnics. I finished from the school and got a programming job at the same school.

Due to my age and kind of Job, I meet a lot of students everyday; both male and female.

I know a runs girl when I see one.

They upload the same kinds of stuffs on their WhatsApp status. Dress the same way to school. Have the same attitude.

I don’t have issues with these people, but i am shocked with the choices men make when taking a life partner.

One of them got engaged today and my head became warm. The bros was just smiling as he was putting on the engagement ring. After some staffs I know have screwed and unscrewed this same lady.

Is it that guys don’t know what’s up or this is what they really want.

Omuneizzy6:
A Soldier friend and his colleague proposed to their Girlfriends and they both said 'YES'

Congratulations Ovienadu and co.

MissRaine69:
An ex-wife can make claims to
1. Pension
2. Inheritence
3. Future earnings
3. Spousal support can be adjusted based on your earnings the more you earn the more she can demand
Those arguing this will never happen in Nigeria May I ask is Nigeria going to be an “island” forever? As Nigeria seeks more favourable recognition in the West there will be prerequisites made to accomodate such when it comes to the law especially family law. Nothing stays static this will be more common than most care to realise.

2buffagain:
...and then if it fails...?

You are just thinking like a child, not an adult.
You have to cover all bases.

What you don't understand is that a prenup also protects women AS WELL AS protecting men....the latter being more neccessary outside of naija given predatory family laws around the whole world.

You might say, "we are in naija, he doesn't need protection"...but what then happens if you guys move to another country?
He is then subject to the worst part of you and predatory lawyers who egg you on to twist the dagger ever more angrily in the event of a divorce. And the sad part is that he would be forced to pay those very same lawyers who will be coaching you on how to stab him well.

To be of this opinion, Oh you have Nooo idea the things that have been done to men in these parts of the world by women who just wake up one morning and decide to be bitches. The life of a man cannot be subject to the whims, ebbs and flows of something as turbulent as a female's emotions.

IMO The only woman who is against signing a prenup is one of 3 things:
1- Ignorant: ... i.e "Why would anyone want to buy car insurance?" "Life insurance keh? So you want to kill me?!" blah blah blah other silly talk.

2- Broke - Because if she had some coins, she'd want to protect them too.

3- Evil ... because she knows the default situation already favors her. Now if only she can get this idiot to not protect himself.

pansophist:
If you want to know why some people do not see the benefit of marriage, then maybe you should study more about the direction modern marriage has turn to. Start by reading "men on strike" and "the manipulated man".

I mentioned those books because they were written by women who are honest to admit how the system benefits them and against men.

People change. A woman you marry today may, in ten years time, becomes something else. I think men should cohabitate, have babies and live life like they are married, without actually getting married. It's about adapting and thriving in an environment than is anti men, thanks to third wave feminism.

2buffagain:
I'm guessing they were already fiance's by that time, well into already planning for a wedding...

That's something you bring up prior to engaging a woman, so there is no cause for a claim of compulsion.
He is even lucky she showed herself by not signing. A more strategic devil will just sign and use the situation to claim signing under duress if she needed to play that divorce card in the future.

Hopefully he carries the lesson forward.

Send him this article to read. Notice what #1 is
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-to-bring-up-prenup_us_5a60e0efe4b05085db606d29

I would even take it further past that and say bring it up as casual conversation BEFORE you start dating to prepare her mentally, while the both are still friends.
That way when it is brought up later for real, she will be more mentally prepared.

MissRaine69:
That’s why you need to know the law. But some men when they get hit by the vagina all sense of reason goes out the window.
My brother was due to wed end of this month but that won’t happen anymore because his fiancée made a huge issue when asked to sign a prenup
Now if I have made $20 million before I met someone I will most definitely ensure those assets are protected. Money for the children is held in a trust fund so that there are no issues of someone buying Peruvian hair with money meant to feed your children.

This is no brainer ....money always brings the worst in people.

WizAkzy:
I won't even advise men to do anything that would make their relationship official and recogniseable by the law. Once you do, its becomes a legal contract which is always at the detriment of the man. Come on, with all that's happening right in our eyes, would you trust a woman not to one day leave you, take almost all the your assets and properties you have worked all your life to gather, throw you in jail by fabricating any stories her manipulative brain could think of, deny you access to your kids if you choose not to play by her controling rules and most especially continue to pay her spousal support for services she no longer renders, just as a way to milk you dry. The family law is never in the favour of the man, so you as a man has to study the laws in your region and learn to know how to play it and twist it to at least favour you too so at least you won't have to commit suicide due to what the woman you claim to trust did to you.

2buffagain:
Humans are naturally value-seeking. It's called survival.
Value is primarily extracted from existence by sweat.

At some point, humans discovered the wisdom in trade.
Trade is an exchange of value between 2 or more humans.
Trade is the primary way large healthy economies are built.

Unfortunately, there are other types of humans who try to beat the system of trade.
They scheme to generate value for themselves, without any sweat or value of their own.

Existence cannot be (legally) manipulated to extract anything from it without sweat.
So the next best thing for these sorts of humans is to manipulate other humans for their sweat (slavery) and/or their value (419).
All with little or nothing to exchange for equivalent sweat/value.

This type of human is called a bum.

Anyone who is against signing a prenup when attempting to marry another human being that has built up considerable more value than they have.... is a bum!

This may not be a huge issue in Nigeria with its fair, common-sense laws regarding these things (though this is changing). In western societies, marriage combined with divorce is a bait-and-switch, legally enforced manipulation tactic judiciously employed by bums to oppress other human beings and extract value (and sometimes continued future value) from their victims.

If you have hustled, and built and are bringing so much value into a marriage, yet the other person has just been gypsying through life and has brought little to no value into said marriage, do yourself an epic favor by having them sign a prenup so as to protect the value you are bringing into the union in the event of a future split.

If the other person is not a 419er, they will understand!
And if they are not bums themselves and/or are also bringing considerable value in, they will even be happy you brought it up and will probably want you to sign one too.

Left to 2Buff, I would say make sure you don't marry a bum. But if you must, make sure they sign a prenup.

AfroKnight:
Honestly, I’d be surprised to find masculine men who would refuse to sign prenups if their fiancées are richer.

But women though...

Just be smart enough to record her agreeing that she wasn’t coerced to sign it. That’s if you find a willing fiancée.

nrtsidesav:
My name is Nick and I am from the US diaspora. I just found out that a majority of my DNA, 37.4%, is from Nigeria.

Shaz:
[color=olive]In case you have forgotten your password, here's a way to retrieve it : https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?action=reminder[/color]

Winneygirl:
We are just focusing on the Ladies because society (us) has put a lot of pressure on Ladies.
.
No one is mentioning the unmarried guys.
.
Women are expected to get married in their 20s.
The expectation for men is 30s.
.
I believe we are reaching a funny state of equilibrium where various groups of people of the same age bracket are aging in the same timeline.
.
This is to say that, if I am 25, all the guys in my group are also in their mid 20s. I am expected to get married at 25 but the guy I should get married to is not yet in his 30s.
The pool of guys I am supposed to draw from are not ready.
.
The searching thing comes from where I have to break away from my age bracket and seek men in a different age bracket, and they are to break away from their age bracket and seek Ladies in my age bracket.
.
The imbalance lies there.
It has nothing to do with religion.
We all need faith. So we run to church.

Another challenge is most working class folks spend Monday - Friday at work, then stay indoors resting on Saturday and another few hours in church on Sunday. There is hardly any opportunity for F2F meet ups.

Another common thing I've seen among some Christian sisters is the "I am all that or too good" attitude (masked pride).

kiddoiLL:
You saw the history where he was looking up how to quit porn and it means nothing to you?
Your dad has an addiction problem and he's trying to get out of it, and trust me you don't push him away or make him feel like he's alone in his world. He's old enough to handle himself, he watches porn and you ain't the person who told him to search how to quit it, he'll find his way back. you're not even thankful it's not text messages he's been sending to girls or thankful he doesn't have a mistress, rather he sticks to his phone in his room.
Stop looking at him with hate or annoyance, Put him in prayers, and hope for the best. He'll find his way back

sanbells:
It was last Saturday. My dad left his phone to go barb his hair outside. I was with my mom in the parlor. I found my dad's phone placed on the table. I picked it up to go through it. Suddenly,out of curiosity (I'm a very curious person) ,I decided to go through his browsing history (I thought,lemme see wah the old man browses about). And then I saw it. I wish I never got that idea to go through his phone. Buh I did and now I regret it. Several kinds of porn site ranging from porn hub to unimaginable things I don't want to think about. I was shocked to find that 90% of his history page was visited porn sites. Even more shocking was the fact that the most recent one was visited that evening,few hours before I saw everything.
Then I thought (lemme check his downloads) . Oh lord! 98% of the old man's download was porn! I also noticed he deletes them immediately after watching coz all the files were missing.
I really don't know what to feel or do. I've been disturbed and traumatized since Saturday. Now whenever I look at his face,all I can think of is ( You watch porn, gosh!).
I even saw in his history page where he was asking " how to quit porn", buh after that he still continued visiting the sites. Even as at yesterday.
I feel disgusted when I see him now. To worsen the matter, my dad and I never had a pleasant relationship,despite that I always wished we had that sort of "father-daughter" relationship,but it wasn't him. He's always been the mean kind and I've sort of gotten used to that. It's so bad to the extent that I find it awkward calling my dad just to know how he's doing,that's so not us. He's the kind I only talk to when it's really really necessary.
So to find that my dad, who's always so mean, always acting like he never makes mistakes and rains down on me when I make a common mistake, always acting responsible outside and pushes me to act responsibly too just so I won't embarrass him, the man who makes people think that he's a good father outside buh doesn't really know anything about his daughter or any of his children...Is that kind of a person really gets me even more mad at him.
It feels like I just caught him cheating on my mom though that's not the case. I feel like my mom doesn't deserve this (I'm so protective of her by the way,I sometimes feel I can die for her). She's so strong and prayerful and tries to draw us together through prayers buh to find that my dad does such an immoral act makes me hate him more.
Some of you guys might say porn is not bad. Well your entitled to your own belief. It doesn't change the fact that I feel disturbed and traumatized to find that my dad is a porn viewer. It just doesn't feel right.
Please guys. I need your opinions on this issue.

This article was written based on educational basis and thought,nothing to do with immorality and hereby not encouraging sexual recklessness or molestation.

How do I disvirgin my girl without pain?
It`s quite a question which is needed to be answered. It can be quite impossible as a girl might still feel a little tinkling in the abdominal part.
Moreover, how to deflower a girl without pain might not be a question at all. Her very first experience might be painful and less sexual experience than for you. Men do not feel the same pain as the girls do then you might need to help her to understand that how to disvirgin a girl without her feeling pain is almost unreal. It depends on the individual physiology.



Show her that you love her:

Disvirgin without pain at all can be quite unreal. Therefore, you might need to show her that you have a true affection for her. It means that you love her. The very first sexual experience for a girl should be with a man for whom she feels true affection and true love. This can help her to overcome the pain and understand how to disvirgin without pains at all. What she needs is your love right now and true affection to her. When she feels safe and needed, then the hormones of happiness can help her to overcome any pain in her mind.



Create an atmosphere:

If it`s the first time for your girl and you have no clue about how to disvirgin a girl without pain, then you might create a certain atmosphere for her. Try to find some relaxing music and make the place safe for her. You might help her to UnCloth. Right now she is a real flower. Therefore, do not try to spoil this flower or take too soon. It`s necessary for her to feel your patience in this delicate question.

pre-intimacy:

You might need to start slowly. Try to whisper in her ear that you love her and you are about to experience something unforgettable. It means that you need her right now and you need her love. Start with slowly kisses to her lips, then around her neck. Do not rush things. Start slowly from up and gets lower down there. Do not forget about her boobs. She might like it. It`s quite necessary to her that you also feel the same feelings as she. You can come up to her most private part and start kissing there. It might help her to relax and get aroused for the real actions.



The Real actions:

The best sexual pose for the first sex for a woman is the missionary pose. In this position, she feels totally relaxed, and you can surely control all the actions. Do not forget about contraceptives! When you get your gentleman in its suit, you might start the insertion. How to deflower a girl? It might be still painful to her, but if you look directly into her eyes while you are making love if you touch her and whisper lovely words, then you might help her to feel no pain. Moreover, do not start bumping her at once. Start slowly and speed up when she feels ready.

After sex:


When everything is finished, she still feels pain. You might need to try to comfort her. Do not forget to tell how you appreciate her. You might also say that you are grateful that she found the courage to do that and for you.

- it was unforgettable.

Mcslize:
You are right. I have noticed that girls between the age of 18 to 26yrs are unstable and really don't know what relationship is all about.

I also noticed that they are not always committed. They are always confused of what they want.

DaytonaAries:
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This opinion is totally wrong. You speak as if women above 30 are not individuals. What does " borehole kpekus" have to do with anything. This particular topic is about maturity . Please be kind with your words, improve on your spelling



This opinion is totally wrong. You speak as if women above 30 are not individuals. What does " borehole kpekus" have to do with anything. This particular topic is about maturity . Please be kind with your words, improve on your spelling



This opinion is totally wrong. You speak as if women above 30 are not individuals. What does " borehole kpekus" have to do with anything. This particular topic is about maturity . Please be kind with your words, improve on your spelling

Sonnobax15:



A young lady living alone and the same time working in a bank has a higher probability of going into a whoring adventure due to the type and amount of men she'd likely meet on her line of work

Whether she's independent or not,the last thing I'd advise any man who has his third leg intact on what to do is to ever date a lady who lives alone unless you wanna be a co-husband to many other of her husbands that'd come visiting....

My immediate ex girlfriend falls into this category...and that's one major reason why I ghosted her ASAP

Jessyj616:
Hey hear this

Wealth= Value times Leverage

Basically, wealth is what you have left when there is no more money left.

Think about it. Wealth is what you have left when all the money is taken out of the equation.

1- Its your ideas
2-your Health
3-Your family
4-Your Contacts
5-Your Relationships
6-Your friends
7-Its your beliefs and faith
8-Its your self esteem and confidence
9-Its your humor and joy
10-Your love of life
11-Your Compassion
12-Your Dreams

oh, and Your Nairaland friends and foes (afterall they make chatting life interesting)

Wow, I realised i an one of the wealthiest people alive!! JUST LIKE YOU PROBABLY! Yes... You:-)

pocohantas:
Way back people were mocked for being too indigenous, the goal was to be foreign. Someone would open their mouth waaa and say “you speak your language too much”. Are you okay? Which language e for speak?

Thankfully all that is changing. I think the commercialization of indigenous rap (and comedy) also played a role. Some people started to feel bad that they couldn’t speak fluently, enough to make some money out of it or even understand the jokes.

People want to be like Phyno or Olamide. Now everyone is tapping into their localness.

We are making progress, we would get there...

pocohantas:
Meanwhile, I thought we all agreed there is no money. So where una dey see this money?


Driving a Tesla in Nigeria.

pocohantas:
I will never forget this colleague of mine who had her university education in the UK. She also had her Masters and a professional course. She had all this as a graduate trainee. Chick was intelligent, but there was a “problem”. Bola (not real name) had a strong h-factor which affected her presentations and killed her zeal to handle public speaking.

Public speaking was one of our courses and the girl fell sick before the day sef. Anxiety wan kill am. When we were practicing among ourselves, she never finished her speech. We would be giggling when she calls hair, air and things like that. We never meant any harm, but we just couldn’t hold back the laughter. Though with time some of us, especially those in her group learned to suck it up.

The day we were supposed to present, our Chief HR officer was there, along with some other top officials. She got on the stage all dressed in her suit, said a few sentences and the giggling started. She tried to continue, but alas, she dropped the microphone and ran out of the hall, she was just crying “I can’t do this, I can’t”.

It was a turning point in our training as the whole class started crying. That was the last day we laughed at her or any other person. Laughed out o, because some people wan explode from holding back laughter.

pocohantas:
She is right, but I have noticed Nigerians love titles. Once they get one, they’ll so abuse it.

MD/CEO. Importer, Exporter, General Merchandise and Distributor of Foreign Liquor...

You will see wedding invitations and title go full everywhere. Esq, Engr, Arch. Na wetin sef?