₦airaland Forum

mysticgal: we have same characteristics,i am an independent woman and never dated or never will date for money,surprisingly these guys have sweet tongues,its hard to believe but girl avoid bp and move on,he dosent deserve your tears."btw xy,when am ready for love,i will check my prospective antelopes oh

Thanks dear. Sometimes, people believe there's always a monetary motive to date. I don't think about people will do for me, but rather what I can do for myself and people around.

Funny, the guy in question gets pretty upset when I'm generous to other people, even though I make him not lack the basic necessities of life.

fluid26: What kind of oil business flops just like that? Do you mind sharing the details, so that anyone on NL who gets to read it will learn and not make such mistake(s). Even those in 'Palm Oil' business don't lose everything just like that.

Is it the mention of 'oil' that got you closer to him? I've come to realize that many women just love that word 'oil', and 'gas', also that 'dollars' to that list.

Enlighten me.

He didn't do his homework properly. Someone he trusted connived with some people to dupe him. Nah I met him after the oil phase. don't date people for their money. It's hard to believe, but I look beyond all that. I believe I can make money for my own upkeep. He was nice and sweet, almost perfect, that's why I naturally fell in love.

sanb: Sorry for your pain gurl; but pick yourself up and tell yourself; you've just freed yourself from TROUBLE. This is a guy who clearly from what you've written; wouldn't have been capable of looking after you....though you might say I'm wrong but the signs you've listed clearly shows that I might be right.....

You'll have always been picking up after him and trust me gurl; you wouldn't want a LIABILITY in your life; it gets to a stage where you become TIRED and it's a good thing he's shown you his true character. Imagine after all you've done for him, his EX was still the one he wanted to go back to.....SMH; WHAT A SHAME....

His case has become one that can't let his EX go and leave her in the past....if you decide to go back to him, note that you'll always remain the second best and not number one...bear that in mind....cos you'll always have the EX Drama in sight....so think very well if at all you're contemplating going back to him....

Never ever think that you can change an individual; cos you can't; as a person would only change if they want to and not by you trying to change them......

Take some time out and cry if it'll make things better; but after that, let go and move on. I here people say they'll never meet someone better than their EX; that's not true; cos you certainly will meet someone better; who'll not take you for granted and neither would they take advantage of your generosity.....All the best gurl...

Thanks dear. I appreciate your advice.

fluid26: This story is hard to believe. Women are usually smarter than this. It is usually young girls experimenting with circuitous emotions & sex that fall prey to such crap.

How can you date an incurable black sheep with hopes of him rising from the dust he seems very comfortable in? He squandered his parents money, he deceived those who loved him well enough to send him abroad for an Msc, he deliberately absconded nysc camp. What other evil can he not do?? Mark my words, this new business being set up for him will go down the drain.

Be wise, you have gone through two horrible relationships and are lucky to be sane enough to tell the stories. You can not afford to be foolish any longer. When you wake up every morning, pray to God for wisdom.

He wanted to impress his folks by becoming a self made millionaire. He invested the money in an oil business that flopped. He's one of those people that can't wait patiently and do the right things slow and steady. He's dream is to be richer than his dad who himself is a businessman. So he's not technically a black sheep black sheep.

jay bee: So let's focus on the fact that this dude (albeit a lazy sod not worthy to be called a man) lied about your existence despite what you guys have and solid you though it was.

The frank thing is, he doesn't deserve you and you are better off without him. I think the quicker you can start looking at the positives out of this whole debacle the easier it will be for you as far as moving on is concerned.

I know it's tough but i pray you will be able to find the much needed inner strength to be able to pull through.

All the best

Thanks dear. I'll pick up myself and move on.

Dyt: Omo
Babes eyes don see o
I been dey think say my tori no get competition
My STORIES for another day

The only joy from my own story is that I did the dumping amidst his tears. He was actually rolling on the floor begging. But I would hear none of it. Years before when I was a complete mumu, I'd have justified his actions and forgiven him till he dumps me! I've grownup since those childishness. I'd rather cry today than cry tmrw!

jay bee: Can you please answer this question.
Are you angry because he was a cheat and things didn't work or you are distraught because "after all you did for him" he still cheated on you?

1. I'm not angry. I'm sad, miserable, in the dumps e.t.c

2. Who says he cheated? He may be planning to.

3. I didn't do any of those things for him because I wanted him in my debts forever, no! I did it cos I loved him! Why should he suffer when he has me?

4 it hurts because if he truly loved me, he wouldn't want to get back with his ex. He wouldn't say all he said to her if he truly loved me. He wouldn't deny my existence if he truly loved me.

Why it hurt so much is because I thought I've found that good person. I never believed he could do this to me. Still shocking.

I broke up with my boyfriend 2days ago. Let me tell you all the story.
We met last year. He'd just broken up with his girlfriend of 2 years on fidelity grounds (she does runs) and I'd just ended a very toxic r/ship of 3 years. We decided to be friends first to see where things would lead to ( as we wouldn't like to fall into that rebound trap) 2 months later we started dating.

I met him at a very low-point in his life. He had just returned from PH where he'd gone for some business and squandered the money his parents gave him for his masters in the US (his parents actually thought he was in the US!) They made peace with him and encouraged him to go for his service. He bailed camp after 1 week, thereby disrupting his whole service year. His parents then ignored him. So he was basically doing nothing when I met him. Just eating and sleeping at his parents. And that is when I met him.

His parents had some financial crisis at some point and threw him out. They told him he had six younger ones and he who had already had a first class education abroad shouldn't end up being a liability to them. So he ended up moving from one friend's house to the other. And after a day or two, they'd tell him to leave. At some point, he had to sleep in his car at night. Since we were already dating then, and I loved him. I took up his complete care as he didn't have a dime, encouraged him to get a job. Even help him look. But since he hadn't served, that was hard. I pulled in all my resources and got a decent self contain for him. Went to retrieve my university furnishing and used it there. Made sure he never lacked anything. Gave him money. Cooked for him did lot's of stuff for him.

I believed his situation was temporary and all he needed was to focus. He was good to me too. And never forgot to say how much he loved me. I never for once rubbed it in his face that he was dependent on me. I never cheated on him. Really really loved him.

The family finances became what it used to, and he kept saying he would never go back to his parents and beg. I thought It was a good idea. I encouraged him to be completely independent from them financially for self respect but have a good relationship with them and visit them always.

He reunited with them 2months ago. His Dad wants to set him up with a car dealership. wants him to move to lagos for that. I was happy for him. We'd already planned how we'd commute to from lag to abj every other week.
I went to see him on monday, took his phone and saw a chat he was having with his ex. He claimed he was still single and we wanted her back. He told her they were meant to be together forever. I confronted him. He was dumb struck. I broke up with him and left immediately.

I broke up with my boyfriend 2days ago. Let me tell you all the story.
We met last year. He'd just broken up with his girlfriend of 2 years on fidelity grounds (she does runs) and I'd just ended a very toxic of 3 years. We decided to be friends first to see where things would lead to ( as we wouldn't like to fall into that rebound trap) 2 months later we started dating.

I met him at a very low-point in his life. He had just returned from PH where he'd gone for some business and squandered the money his parents gave him for his masters in the US (his parents actually thought he was in the US!) They made peace with him and encouraged him to go for his service. He bailed camp after 1 week, thereby disrupting his whole service year. His parents then ignored him. So he was basically doing nothing when I met him. Just eating and sleeping at his parents. And that is when I met him.

His parents had some financial crisis at some point and threw him out. They told him he had six younger ones and he who had already had a first class education abroad shouldn't end up being liability to them. So he ended up moving from one friend's house to the other. And after a day or two, they'd tell him to leave. At some point, he had to sleep in his car at night. Since we were already dating then, and I loved him. I took up his complete care as he didn't have a dime, encouraged him to get a job. Even help him look. But since he hadn't served, that was hard. I pulled in all my resources and got a decent self contain for him. Went to retrieve my university furnishing and used it there. Made sure he never lacked anything. Gave him money. Cooked for him did lot's of stuff for him.

I believed his situation was temporary and all he needed was to focus. He was good to me too. And never forgot to say how much he loved me. I never for once rubbed it in his face that he was dependent on me.
The family finances became what it used to, and he kept saying he would never go back to his parents and beg. I thought It was a good idea. I encouraged him to be completely independent from them financially for self respect but have a good relationship with them and visit them always.

He reunited with them 2months ago. His Dad wants to set him up with a car dealership. wants him to move to lagos for that. I was happy for him. We'd already planned how we'd commute to from lag to abj every other week.
I went to see him on monday, took his phone and saw a chat he was having with his ex. He claimed he was still single and we wanted her back. He told her they were meant to be together forever. I confronted him. He was dumb struck. I broke up with him and left immediately.

Just became singe, again!

Just heard it on the radio. Associated Akure bound airline crashes in toll gate lagos.

It seems like it crashed on top of moving vehicle. 20 confirmed dead from the crash.

If there was ever a word. . . Oh! I think there is! ATTENTION W.H.O.RE!!!

Your marriage is still new to experience all these. If you're sure your slate is clean and you haven't done anything to her to warrant her recent behaviour, then maybe she's indeed cheating on you.
Maybe she met someone who gives her satisfaction in some way which you don't meet up
. Maybe she's doing all these for you to break up the marriage yourself so she wouldn't be the bad person in the story and would also play the 'hurt' card.
Maybe she's in love with someone.
So many maybes.

Maybe these guys drop in some 'lies' in the process. We all know guys are the highest culprit in dropping the 'I love you bomb' even if they met you that day. But girls who buy these lies are really gullible.

When will nollywood stop making themselves a laughingstock?
Lack of originality!
Lack of creativity!
The wackest movie titles in the universe!
ASUU strike, beyonce or rihanna, tea or coffee? Really? What next? Jona or amaechi, dbanj or don jazzy? I laugh in swahili.

GEJ's problem is that he has bad advisers that keep egging him on.

"Go for it!" They scream! "You are the president, no one can challenge you! We the strong men of Nigeria are behind you"

They keep egging him on. Till he falls into a ditch.

GEJ, please leave politics for politicians.

[quote author=senbonzakura_kageyoshi]dedicated cracked fanatic [/quote]No wonder! By thy sarcasm, you shall know them.

Akshow: Fake accents thread bore me on nairaland cos it seems u guys mistake good English and right pronunciation for fake accent. They are trying to pronounce words d way dey ought to be pronounced and u guys are here hating. I'm sure y'all will stil complain if they use thick naija accent. Fake una free dem joorr.

Guess you are one of 'those'

If she strongly disagrees with you bringing people over to spend the night, then she shouldn't be allowed to do same. Simples!

And there's definitely a need for an authority figure in your household. With this tussle for power between you and your siblings, this may keep happening time and time again.

If you love her, talk to her. Her behaviour is not etched in stone.

Your story is really wrenching. Anyways, not all men are like this. You'll get to find that perfect one that wouldn't hurt you (not like this anyway)

I've been heartbroken twice in my life. The first fell in love with another girl, and the second died. I got depressed for a while, but as they say, time heals all wound. I always get back on the horse.

As young vibrant youths, we don't have to sit on our butt waiting for juicy jobs to drop in our laps. That is the reason why entrepreneurship is our way out of this pit called unemployment. We all can be employers of labour rather then employees who rely on pittance every other month.

THE SCHOOL OF CREATIVE ENTREPRENEURSHIP an NGO made for the youths by the youths have come to help the youths and unemployed (whether graduates or not) to see themselves as the vessels that can make them their own bosses.

We can help the youths and unemployed through the following.

*** Organizing lectures and seminars to educate the youths on the values of entreprenuership.

*** Getting financing (through our partnership with various government ministry, agency and parastatals) for our members in starting up their businesses.

*** Free skill acquisition and vocational training.

Etc. . .

A lecture and seminar will be held on 21st of september in Abuja.

If you live in Abuja and want to be a member of this NGO, or you want to attend the free seminar, contact us with this numbers.

07033971159 -Amaka
08037218810 -Gozie
08068026007 -Gabriel
08183128638 -Dagogo

Follow on twitter @thesce

MEMBERSHIP IS FREE!!!!

The true test of being a man is taking some life decisions solely, sticking to it all on your own, good or bad. Who to marry is one of such decisions.

If you are really a man, then don't let your mum make decisions for you. Her influence should be limited to advisory opinions and not decisions.

Are you a man or a mouse?

Your writing doesn't even make sense!

[quote author=nadia_SA]
9001 coz last night shiat happend
[/quote]Hope ikechukwu don't deal drugs

Not a bad number considering our entire population and Nigerians in the diaspora.

You probably don't love him

You do know deep inside you that she actually deceived you. She lied to you and you bought it.

But I don't feel sorry for you as you just found her worthy of being in a serious relationship with you when she told you she was still a virgin at 24. if she said had said otherwise from the beginning, you wouldn't have taken her seriously.

FYI, she's been screwing with every other guy left, right and center. That 'broken hymen' story is just total bull****!

I don't get how guys claim to be wise and smart and then get deceived so easily. But I don't have any pity for guys like you. You deserve it bro.

Wish you a HML

Ummm. Is there a full pix somewhere?

@op, she's practically still a baby! And I'm sure he didn't hit it once. . . Or twice. . .

[quote author=Mynd_44]Erm....... Why blame the women who date them? You people just love shifting the blame from one person to another because as much as we love to deny and ignore, the other woman did not swear an oath of allegiance to another person the man did.

The other woman is not the one sneaking around being her partner's back, The man is.

90% of the fault should be put at the man's feet cos he is the one who is cheating. And who told you the other woman might be doing it cos she thinks she will end up marrying him? She might be in for the company, sex or money[/quote]I rarely ever comment these days cos you always echo my thought verbatim. Nice analysis