saasala:


I respect your decision to avoid having sex with her considering that the three points I previously highlighted are not to go with.

But do you know that sex is a great tool to make someone fall completely for you? Sometimes when the two parties try to play holy and cultured and miss the sex part, everything they try to build scatters in a flash. I believe you should have tried to nyansh the bill board model, you would be surprised that she too might have been longing for your touch. I sometimes don't have sex for the enjoyment, I do because I want to make her crazy about me. Good sex has kept people together forever.

So how is the relationship now?

The relationship didn't work, not because of sex but because of individual differences. She wanted a particular celebrity that was her friend to date and marry so I had to bounce and I can I assure you, till date, she's still single.

lilwetdick:
The high rate of sex obsession among Nigerian young men is alarming, night and day, all you will hear these men talking about sex, how they knack one girl and the other like it an achievement, everything you hear about them talk about is sex, sex, nkechi, sex, Bleep, em sweet, her pussy tight, her pussy no tight, i suck breast and all sort of nonsense talk that adds no value to human civilization, the energy they invest in talking about sex makes it seems like sex is the solution to poverty alleviation or a means to prosperity and a strategy for survival in this country.

The reality is this, a sex-obsessed man can never make anything good out of life. men build society not get obsessed about sex, sex is good but shouldn't be your main focus of existence, why waste your time and energy when you can build and have a good life with the youthful energy you are using to Bleep all the girls in the town, why dont you use it to lay a foundation for your future success so that when you are in your mid 30s-40s you wont be part of the losers shouting how Nigeria is the worst place to live.

Truth be told, most poor men of the future from this genertion will be men who used all their energy, time and thought to get sex rather than to build up their lives.

Take this Fist bump. What a lovely write up.

Sunnymatey:
Really? So its u? Spent 5 days with my fiancee in a hotel room.
Bros be sincere if ur fiancee did same with another guy will u be please with her to the extent of proposing marriage to her?
She told me u guys spent jst a night together (Valentine's Day) meanwhile its 5 whole nights.
Fear women

Lol. Nah, it wasn't Valentine. it was actually in the Month of March in 2014. She is my ex. I had travelled down to Uyo to meet with her. She was serving her Fatherland there at that time. I never had sex with her when I visited but enjoyed her company so much (she's a Nerd). We kept exchanging ideas on Technology.....

sunkieisland:


This is the most unbiased, matured comment I have read on relationship matters in recent weeks.

Nice one

Thank you very much. I really appreciate the comments.

saasala:


@bolded

One or more of these 3 things:
1) She is ugly as fvck
2) You are ugly and broke
3) Either or both of you is gay

That's where you got it wrong. No 1, she is very beautiful and as a matter of fact, she's a billboard Model. No2. I am Handsome and doing very great Financially. No3. She and I are both straight. Sex isn't everything and everything isn't sex. I had travelled to meet with her for the very first time. we needed to get to know each other. it isn't everyone that is sex-driven. I don't rush to have sex with a lady when I meet one. You'd have plenty of time for that when the right time comes.

lonelygem:


But do u know that if it had been the other way round, I mean if she had caught you or even smell it that you attempted cheating on her she wouldn't have forgiven you? And all these family and friends asking you to forgive and forget would have been the one to support her never to forgive you?

One of those lessons you need to learn is 'what you are always pitiful about and wouldn't want to do to a woman, she would do a hundred folds to you without looking back. Sadly the society believe men to be harsh and irrational when it comes to hurtful act but labelled women as fragile hearted and compassionate. Their is no greater evil and sabotage against men than this.

Please, wake up. You are gradually loosing control of the relationship and subjecting your sense of decisions to her parents and relatives for reason best known to u alone.

If u don't want to hurt her, how about hurting yourself in the long run? If by chance you try to take back the full control in future, how would you feel if she eventually tells you you cant introduce something new but keep to how you both had been rolling all along. Some of those things we overlook often come to hunt our affection in future.

Think like a man and don't fall cheap for some unguarded emotions. Marriage is a lifetime contract. So many are already in it to discover they've lost the control, but the shame and stigma of broken marriage makes majority to remain subtle and continue even when the content and credence are long gone.

You, I must say, are full of Wisdom and your words, very plain and simple.

ikemesit4477:
5 days in a hotel with a woman, nothing happens! Abi where you guy's doing Bible studies!

Lol. Sex isn't everything and everything isn't Sex. A lot of people attach so much importance to sex. Get to know someone very well before initiating and introducing sex.

My brother, from what you've written, I could easily deduce that you want to marry her. Can you marry someone who cheated on you in the past? Can you stay married and never have to worry about being cheated in again by your wife? Can you stay married to her without ever having to remind her of her dirty past? Would you go in with the relationship just because her mom is begging or because you still love her? The above questions are questions you should ask yourself and answer as well. Relationships are not for the weak and you need to be ready for whatever results you might get. Secondly, I've spent 5days with a woman In a Hotel in Uyo, Akwa Ibom State and nothing happened between us! About her spending the night in a hotel with another again and nothing happened, she might just be saying the truth. Don't be in a relationship with someone out of pity or reward for what ever reason but because you love the person and want to get your life improved and equally improve the other party. You seem to even be in the relationship because of her parents and not because you love her. Find out what you love about her and if that drives you, stay but if negative, then take your leave. Don't force it.

What in the World do we make of the frequent news of people taking there own lives? If only one could have a reason to hold on and never give up on themselves. Nothing in this World is worth dying for, absolutely nothing.

Such breathtaking views.

casspersteve:



I don't have a lady in my life though, but I believe in months time I should.
I can't even have visitors or answer calls from my female friends.

Brother, as a human being first and then as a man, this is the last thing you need in your life right now. You're looking at going into a relationship in a couple of months, do you seriously think this Lady would let you do that? Do you think she'd watch another lady who's not related to you have your heart? She could try something stupid if you ever try getting into a relationship. Please call it quits now that you both haven't gone far in it. You can't have visitor and can't take calls from females and you think the said Lady isn't a Psycho? Please do something noe before it is too late.

My brother, let's say this your story is true, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, would you want to be in a relationship with someone who thinks or assumes they "own" you? How happy do you really think you'd be in that relationship? you have a Lady in your life and she has a guy in her life, what in the World is wrong with you two? send her away from your life so she doesn't pose a threat to your life if/when both of you have issues....most ladies like this are usually suicidal when a man wants to leave them. Stay faithful to your Lady and if she doesn't want to stay faithful to the man in her life, let that be her problem and not yours. Would you have your girlfriend cheat on you? If you answer yes to that question, then there is a big problem but if no is your answer, then smartly and hastily put the said lady away. Stop the "whatever" you both have been doing in the secret and let her go. Goodluck, Bro.

I cried as I read this story. I suffered the same fate while growing just that mine was more critical and tormenting. I am so proud of you my brother for putting up a good fight. congratulations my dear brother.

Hopillas:

This is a wrong post,you do not know this people.You are speaking to wrong person.
Always double check before you post any untrue message .

Before you start advising me, ask whether or not I know them and not jump into conclusion. I live opposite the church and the church sits side -by - side their school. My Sister -in -law teaches in their School. Don't just attack people without carrying out investigation. Till date, their lesson is still owed them.

And yet they would gladly and unapologetically owe the staff working for them at their schools. How dwelleth the love of God in them

And yet they would gladly and unapologetically owe the staff working for them at their schools. How dwelleth the love of God in them?

GavelSlam:


Let's not even talk about Brazil.

Talking about Brazil would be 'opening a can of worms'. It is nauseating how they make Africa look like the devil's zone meanwhile, they're the one's hatching demons.

One would think the US is a very safe Haven until you watch CBS Reality, Foxlife and some other documentaries on US. Even having a chat with some people living in the US would make you realise these guys hide a lit of their bad sides and make Africa and the Middle East look like the unsafe places to be on Earth. I always wonder to what end their deceit is. Nigeria may have a lot of issues but I have yet to see a country that hasn't issues it is battling. I'm glad that we don't have some random guys opening fire on students every now and then as is always recorded in the US. It is time the US told the World who they really are.

* have * and *theirs *. pardon my misspellings.

I am not a Doctor but I can assure you that the cramps are nothing at all. Most women always have cramps once in a while. some women had waists cramps, some others could be in their thighs. There are even the ones that there's could be pains in the breast or nipples and even changes in the areola. cramps aren't always associated with menstrual flows as some women experience them before, during and even immediately after ovulation. You don't need to nurse any fear as to whether or not she can get pregnant in the future because of the cramps. It is perfectly normal for a woman to have cramps.

you need to quickly go run some medical tests. There's no best time to go for tests than now. Don't live in fear or assumptions. I'd advice you don't confront the said lady. you should do the right thing now which is to go seek medical help. Nairaland isn't the best place to get medical help. you should go to a hospital right about now. stay strong my dear brother.

Assuming that to be truly his wedding card, didn't he proofread the writeup before the cards were printed? why would he give people his wedding card with so many misspellings? even if the person(s) that designed the card didn't know what and how to write, shouldn't he had gotten someone intelligent to go through the write-ups before distributing the cards to the whole World?

Sorry I meant to type "good" and not goof. Thank you very much. it was a typographical error.

You might wanna change your mind on the said lady. you are a goof man for even thinking of getting married to her haven known her supposed affairs both in past (your school days) and in the present (with the Pastor). yes you want to get married to her because of your daughter that you both have together, but do you think that singular reason can keep the marriage moving if you married her? She obviously doesn't want to let go of the Pastor and I kind of wonder why you can't read in between the lines. she sees herself doing you a favour by marrying you and not cos she loves you. My advice? look for a wife somewhere else and ensure you make close friends with her and your daughter. in my opinion, I don't see you and her having a faithful marriage. if your story is completely true, then let her be but support her in every way possible to raise that girl and give her the best education you can afford.

Money2000:


I have been keeping this situation within me for more months to unleash, but can't take it any longer.

I made my first million at 19, bought a car in university days, met lots of friends both male and female.
Most of my female colleagues want piece of my money, and always ready to sleep with me... (Well. I'm very and maybe too handsome for a man, as people usually compliment me.)

Fast forward to after school days, i stopped getting the attention i used to, from Ladies, so i ventured into masturbating.

I masturbate a lot because i am a sex addict...

My ex gf left me because i always make love to her twice daily, morning and night. She said she can't cope anymore!

I can masturbate like 3 times in a day, that is, any chance i get.

I became abstinent from sex, and kept masturbating alot to porn.

Just two weeks ago, i got a new GF, and we decided to have sex yesterday night... My d*ck refused to get erected.

She gave me a mouthjob, still same thing, no erection.
Now, she is saying she cant date an impotent, which really hurt me.
I love this girl so much i dont want to lose her.

I tried making love to her this morning, but no erection still. I ran to the bathroom, opened a porn site and started watching, gradually my d*ck erected...

I don't know what to do or maybe something is wrong. And i dont want to start taking all this viagra because i easily get addicted to things.

can we chat privately, please?

Excel70:
Yes i am on whatsapp

please I'd like for us to chat privately

Excel70:

Hello annford how can one recover from effects of masturbation after stopping it

can we chat privately? are you on WhatsApp?

Mcy56:

They are humans and deserved to be loved.
Just saying reality here. In order to reduce the rate at which they are born, couples, especially intending ones should choose wisely and medically.

Yeah, right! these things happen when we least expect them. Going for Medical tests before marriage is goof but sometimes, we could be blinded by love and then, boom! I once dated a Lady with Sickle Cell Anemia and I can tell you, they aren't as weak as people generally believe they are. I support your motion anyway but sometimes, love happens.

with all pleasure and honour. aren't they humans?

You need to always engage your mind. Think positive thoughts and carry out positive activities. Disadvantages of self-service are just too many. Some of them include but not limited to; Terrible weight loss, insufficient sleep, restlessness of the mind, constant headaches, disfiguring of the male organ, possibility of becoming infertile, mood swings, sexual aggression, looking older than one's age, premature ejaculation for a man or even unnecessary delayed ejaculation, constant need to ejaculate, anger issues and so much more. Masturbation isn't a thing anyone ( male or female) should engage in. Sex is a feeling'. feelings come and they go. you need to stop it now so you don't find yourself running to Doctors or Fertility Clinics when you're married cos that thing has rendered a lot of men incapable of fathering children.

yeah, yeah! just like Linda Ikeji " fell pregnant ".

That is not a dog but a fox. If this is true, I suggest the matter be properly looked into.