₦airaland Forum

Graduateacher:
If boys can be taught a bit of responsibility, they won't be abandoning their offspring for only the girl they impregnated. She didn't get herself pregnant, there was another person involved who abandoned her

My dear, it's not every time it should be men versus women issue. There are times a girl will have sex with several boys within days? How will she know the father? Remember it was found behind a girl's secondary school. Sure, it might belong to somebody else from the community.

First of all let's train girls to beware of opening their legs. No matter how much a boy wants sex, the girl has to agree first.

Look you can talk of putting the blame on the boy all you want. But if things had gone wrong it's the girl who could have died, not whoever impregnated her. Considering such secret delivery could have been fatal.

If something will affect me disproportionately, I'd take more responsibility for. It's certainly something I'd impress on my female kids. Sure I'd enlighten the boy child on the consequences of his action naturally too. You free to leave your daughters to put responsibility on men out there.

The thing is in areas where child outside of wedlock is highly stigmatized, baby abandonment is more common.

Of course we all want our daughters to marry and all the usual traditional stuff before having kids.

However, many girls will make a mistake, will have inadequate sex education, poor awareness, get impregnated through rape, etc. We still have to support them irrespective. Chasing them out the house for getting pregnant due to traditional stigma means innocent babies suffer.

Had those kids not gone out that late, heavy rain might have fallen and wash him away. Or simply succumb to the elements.

Kenturkey048:
am a typical example of that...if I pen my sexual molestations wey I face while growing up ...from age 3-7 ...e go full 365 pages...

Very bad indeed. Molestation of boys is extremely under reported.

Sunexy:
We men have been assaulted way too much . We only wanna be good and decent humans but women just wanna keep using us as sex objects. I hope human right activists look into this issue

I believe the story. I know many people (now young men) who were abused as little boys by certain "aunties" who were neighbours, inlaws, etc.
I was shocked one day the issue came up in a group of guys I was with. They gave graphic accounts of what happened.

Beware who you entrust your kids with, whether boy or girl child.

tyup:
And what's our business if he graduates with First Class or he tops his class

You're not a first class material until you've attain one from a Nigerian university where real study is and the fact that he looks Ipob even make matters worse

Nigerian universities where you can bribe, buy pamphlets and open legs for grades?

After the sadist and frustrated lecturers with no single invention to their name have educated Nigerians, what scientific innovations have these Nigerians made?

The Cantab guy would have been trained by those who are best in their fields. Like Nobel Prize winners and top architects. Those who create new knowledge and convert them into practical applications that change the world and the way we live. Many of their works will still be studied in archaic books that will still be used in Nigeria 70 years from now.

I can authoritatively say so because I was trained same way in another university.

Don't just be saying what you do not know just because talking is free.

A relative of mine read architecture in Nigeria. Upon arriving in North America and furthering her education there, she concluded that Nigeria has a long way to go.

Graduateacher:
Is there a link to her story, how can we read it?

Oh it was on youtube years back already. If I am not mistaken she claimed to be the woman who used to make announcements/voice overs on the church TV recordings.

It would be very foolish to make such a claim if it can be easily proven she never worked on their TV. So one of those in T B Joshua's inner circle so to speak. Pretty graphic what she revealed. I deleted the whatsApp video I used to have on my phone. It might still be on youtube.

FactBoyz:
If you believe this woman, SHAME ON YOU!!!

Actually this woman's allegations are not new. Her words were pretty graphic and full of details not possible to know from outside, without being in the situation.

I was expecting her to be sued for libel but it didn't happen.

This is not about me or you pretending to know the truth. ALL should be investigated.

It's now time for us to put partisanship or religious stuff aside before the law. We should fish out which are telling the truth and which are lying. Just dismissing allegations, supporting alleged victims or accused is not enough anymore.

If anyone had told me in the heyday of Bill Cosby comedy on TV that he was a serial rapist, I'd never have believed it.

In the same way some people accused of rape were wrongly jailed. Only for the truth to come out later.

It's quite possible for people to change for the better.

But in modern life, such a true change is done by very few. What is the case mostly is living a double life.

If it was becoming a monk with little means, then I'd believe it more.
But these days people carefully cultivate a public persona. A new packaging. This includes politicians, artists and pastors.

In certain situations the that inner devilish behaviour first cultivated can resurface. I have seen many. I had to conclude that the previous persononality is still there inside.

If you repeatedly raped women to be initiated into the cult, doing it again is not impossible.

eraj4real:
I am a young man, and at about age 17-18, a pastor often called me to his office in Port Harcourt to teach him to use computers and huged me tight behind the door of his office. Then used his penis to try pressing on me. Because of fear, and confusion I often kept quiet. Till a day at about age 20 I visited the church he was posted to in Onitsha as I was returning on a journey. He made me pass the night, and made us sleep together in the parlour (his wife traveled). That night he attempted having sex with me, but I resisted all night, but didn't say a word till I got into a bus the next day on my way back to Port Harcourt, I sent him terrible text messages. He apologized. I forgave him. 5-6 years later in year 2011, when he opened his church in Ibadan, I donated N264,000 as a NYSC corper (I closed my account) to support his fledging church. It was only today, at age 33 that I summed up the courage to tell him, "never contact me again". Pastors have a controlling power on members. I didn't add, I also put his son on scholarship for about 2 years but ended this year (I paid over 250k to support his son, mainly because though he tried hurting me, he gave me books and advice that really helped me in business and life in general. He also once called a young entrepreneur who gave me this advice at age 18, "what will you want you children to call you? Papa or Daddy". That influenced my actions for life. I suggest pastors constantly go for counseling to avoid destroying the same people they build. He helped me see my talent in computer than studying medicine even when my parents forced me to study medicine. Pastors have strong influence

Just imagine! Sexual abuse of boys is not taken seriously. Sadly. The boy child is abused both by older women and men.

Good idea. But better not to rush it. Get the conditions right first.


$1 = 10 Eco will be a good rate.

Karma.

Crystalworld:
The first day saw that Gucci pastor preaching on pullpit, My mind was telling me that this man is not a real man of God. A pastor wearing air force 1 sneakers and Gucci pull over with pencil jeans Na them!
A rapist is a rapist they don’t change and they don’t have conscience. If he is found guilty he should be prosecuted period! I don’t care if he is a man of God or man of Satan!

I do not think attire is the main issue. Though being too extravagant may point to "vanity" as against being modest that the Bible advises Christians to be. Focusing on things of this world can hugely damage one's moral and spiritual focus.

Fact is rape and attempted rape is all too common. Worldwide and A large number of the victims are still kids or teenagers. Under 21. Those unable or too scared to speak against rapists in authority. Even parents of victims actively discourage speaking up. To avoid stigma and shame.

It's been a big scourge for a long time now. Some women are just becoming empowered enough to speak out.

Most of these allegations are historical, when there was even more stigma and poorer awareness.

Even now in 2019 what percentage of Nigerian females aged 12 to 45 will know what to officially do or which NGO or govt agency to immediately contact for support? Very little.

Poor families of rape victims can be intimidated, religiously manipulated or their silence bought with only a few hundred dollars.

Just forget NPF outside Lagos, PH or Abuja.

Marriages and relationships suffer later when women have been traumatised by rape earlier in life. It eventually affects us all.

Chai!

How did Soo-lay Mon & Fat Oyinbo pepper miss this one?

tuniski:
Democracy is not a straight jacketed phenomenon but, an adaptation to a people's peculiarities. The UK or US democracy can't be wholesome fit for Nigeria!

We are a nation of two very different socio-economic cum political orientations. While the conservative north look eastwards, the southern niigeria is essentially pro-west. It therefore means that whatever shade of democracy we practise must reflect these realities.

That brings us to true Federation. We can have a very loose federal system where different ethnic, cultural and religious aspirations can be realised. But there's much resistance to that by the elite. They see it only from the prism of resource control and losing access to all the powers and money FG currently controls. Saying states will mismanage the money too is like saying a full grown man with own family should have his salaries or proceeds from his own investment paid directly to his elderly parents. For fear he might spend the money on girlfriends outside, Bet9ja or shayo.

Whichever system, paying politicians outrageous salaries and 300% of their salaries as special allowance, 150% as furniture allowance and other obscene extras and selling of govt property to them cheaply upon leaving office should not be part of it. It's evil anywhere in the world,

tuniski:
Democracy is working and the world over it is the most expensive system of governance.

What we haven't attained is virile citizenship that will challenge and punish any non performing government with majority unison.

The world over where democracy actually works, politicians are paid broadly in line with senior civil servants.

For example in UK most school headteachers earn more than a member of Parliament. Those who leave medical practice as consultants to become an MP actually take a pay cut of up to 50% depending on medical specialty.

I know the African mind will ask why would anyone go for a less paid job? Those who give up senior banking, finance and investment jobs for politics can even take over 200% pay cut.

Well, in places where democracy actually works for the people, many people do things for altruistic reasons. Knowing they can make a real positive impact on their constituents.

You cannot run an overbloated democratic system as a POOR country and hope to progress. It only works for the few, not the people. It can be adapted to cost less. Ghana has a unicameral parliament and they are not doing bad.

Nigeria is POOR because over 70% of people are poor. Natural resources are irrelevant if the people live in abject poverty. Living on a dollar per day.

garfield1:
One,let the perks of political office holders be reduced and made unattractive.governors and prezidents and lawmakers should not earn more than a million a monthwith no allowances attached.they shouldnt have more than 5 cars and 10 security guards,they shouldnt be allowed to approve or control more than 100 million unilaterally,a council must always monitor them.with this no one will bother contesting,only those with selfless intent will contest.
Pressure on inec to compromise will reduce.inec should be truly independent and paid heavily.heavy punishment like death sentence should be attached to electoral offend,inec funds should be on first line charge.we should fully embrace electronic voting.

I agree. But how do you tell a goat to approve a ban on farming or supply of yam?

We are too docile as a people. Religion is even causing more docility. It will take a popular uprising to bring about one. A very bloody one in fact. But for now the people are under control, manipulated, entertained, played against each other and confused to do such.

Wow! Very interesting.
Things are becoming much clearer.
Those who want to learn from history should do.

RIP.
We should ensure kids are ready for marriage before they are married out.

At times it's forced by pregnancy. Two lives now ruined. Not to mention the man's family.

garfield1:
At some points i harboured such thoughts.for us to have an 80% free and fair polls and census,we need the un or developed countries to conduct it.but ive realized that inec is not the cause but our political actors and system.

INEC cannot be exonerated totally. Sure the political system allows the actors to compromise and manipulate the polity and INEC. They revel in and benefit from the deficit of the system. So no desire to change it.

So how do we surmount this problem than get a robust and truly independent electoral umpire in the short term?

tuniski:
It is an error to compare nigeria's challenges with small countries with less diversity. Next time make India,china,Indonesia,USA,Russia,Brasil example.

.
I have always aspired to be like the best. Why expect less from a country blessed with so much resources all round? So that if one falls short it should still be good enough.
Scientifically it is from simple stuff that solutions to complex stuff are sought. So see how simple countries do it.

Those countries you mentioned have managed their situation better than Nigeria. But the countries mentioned have models that can be studied and applied to Nigeria.

Nigeria copied American democracy which is proving too difficult, too expensive and we have no discipline to run.

By now we should have run out of excuses. A homogeneous UK used their administrative skills to manage a vast empire by adapting to local conditions across colonies.

If not for greed, high handedness and condescending attitude, they wouid have retained most of their colonies including USA lost much earlier.

Clonus:
Believe social media at your peril.
This lady is mentally unstable.
I know her very well.

Really? Tell us more.

Maybe you can assist her family and even save Dr. Paul from trouble if he is innocent.

hammerF1:
This one is sickening.

How papa go rape daughter.

I have female family members and cannot even entertain such thought without my skin crawling is absolute disgust.

How do dey do it?

But if all cases were to be reported you will be shocked. Just like many aberrations in life, hard to understand. Many biological things including scent of kins are supposed to thwart such desires. But that may not be working with some people.

HitSong:

As much as I don't support Rape, I think those whole story has a loop....

Bukola is not totally honest and Timidakolo is just pained.
The thing dey even pain the thing pass the guy.
Person rape you for your house, you still go him house make he rape you again...hmm

HE RAPE YOU IN YOUR HOUSE WHILE YOUR SO SISTER WAS ASLEEP IN ANOTHER ROOM. AND YOU CLAIMED TO BE A VIRGIN YET, YOU COULDN'T SHOUT NOR REJECT HIM.
At 17
YOU DESERVE DIDN'T INFORM YOUR SISTER NOR MOTHER..
And for the fact that The Man continued to be their pastor and Timi was even a choir master in the same church for a very long time even after he married the girl...

SOMETHING IS DEFINITELY WRONG SOMEWHERE.

Dude, rape is a very complicated and difficult thing for the victims.

I met a girl of about 21 in line of work. I cannot elaborate much. She was raped for many years by her dad. Under her mother's nose. He brainwashed her that nobody would believe her if she talked. Plus if they believed, the family would be broken up and she will end up in a juvenile care home. She did not want that.

Eventually the mum found out from another child in the family when she was around 16.

He went to jail. The mother left with the other kid but said she could not bear to see her abused daughter ever again.
The girl was totally broken. Began using drugs and was homeless at the point I met her. This is in a developed country with resources and seemingly easy to report abuse or rape.

Abusers and rapists are manipulative.

Twoclans:
Why do I have this funny feeling this pastor rapes for diabolical reasons.The guy is fine, getting a woman to make love to him can hardly be an issue for him even while he was broke. If the accusations are real and he actually rapes up and down then it must be for diabolical reasons. Regardless rape is BAD.

Not saying he is guilty but even a fine or rich man may not get certain girls at certain times. But might eventually do with patience. Which guy has not seen when a girl initially turns you down but later flows with?

Taking her by force at the point she says vehemently say no would rape. Pure and simple.

Most rapists are people already known or even very close to the victims. This creates much dilemma if the rapist is a respected friend of the family like a pastor, a relative, an in-law, etc. The family routinely cover up most cases to "save face".

Some girls go to visit the rapist against the general warning by family not to visit men in their homes. When raped she fears family's wrath and never says anything.

sleemomymy:
Sometimes I wonder how some people reason. Have ever had the word SOP before

People who worship politicians and do not realise they are meant to serve the public are those whose thinking we should question.

Using acronyms to excuse incompetentence is what 9ja people are very good at. Not how to use them in the interest of the public like those who actually invented those ideas.

No need for supplementary stuff or any acronym if Buhari who knew two months in advance that he will need a new cabinet immediately tabled his nominees as the new Assembly convened.
Please stop supporting incompetence.

In any case my kids will not suffer the hell hole of incompetence the politicians have caused. They will enjoy the same stuff where your looting politicians use your money to tuck away their kids abroad. Keep supporting the looters. Ko Kanye.

Bolustical:
Even if you must wail, wail with sense.

If to say the list is ready, to whom will he submit it to? The lawmakers on recess who won't resume till July 2nd?

Or to Ohaneze Youth Council?

So you mean parliamentarians paid hugely from public purse cannot reconvene urgently to consider a matter of national importance? If so they have no business being there.

A serious national govt could have sent a letter to the leaders of NASS to consider the screening of ministers urgently. Refusing to do so would make NASS very unpopular with the public.

Everything is not about tribalism and partisanship.

Bizmagnet:
What if the man is innocent? A rapist (pastor) came to your house by 6.30A.M and you couldn't shout till he did it. He still had the gut to go downstairs to pick something and came back to the same you, yet you couldn't shout all through the period despite the fact that your sister was around in the same building. All through the years you couldn't call him out or sue him despite the fact that your family hasn't been poor. It's now you just woke up from your slumber and remembered someone raped you...you can now just shout! This is not a claim that the pastor is innocent but this "shout" is very suspicious. Now you're gathering vulnerabe people who were not there or living witnesses when the pastor performed the alleged act, and these hungry people will boldly protest and deride the MOG who may be innocent. The way people use wifi dey collect generational curses no be small.

Look dude, rape is a very traumatic thing. Women react in different ways to it BUT shock and numbness are common reactions. Because it's, emotionally traumatic, unexpected and USUALLY done by someone known and trusted by the victim.
We weren't there with them to know for certain if true or not BUT her reaction is quite normal.

Some women never summon the courage to ever talk about it for lifelong. Others only manage to do so decades later. Due to stigma and fear of not being believed.

Attitude to rape is very poor in our society. But it's a scourge that must stop. That someone is a pastor, imam, top politician, a lawyer or a taxi driver or farmer doesn't mean he cannot do it. It cuts across all sectors and strata of society.

Yes, there are women who maliciously accuse people of rape. Such should be punished too. But to dismiss rape accusation just because some has a religious, political, celebrity or whatever status is insane. Each should be investigated on own merit.

It's for failure of society and legal system that rape remains a cavalier offence in Nigeria. Some accused of rape with violence even get easy bail or convicted with option of a fine.

It's quite sickening that we still cannot conduct a free and fair election or a headcount/census that is credible and acceptable to all.

If we cannot do it well, let's seek help from relatively young countries that have mastered the art. Such as New Zealand, Canada or Australia. They are also Commonwealth countries but with the colonial baggage of UK.

With time the culture of free elections will establish itself.

excessmon:
Bro u too go school for this person na?im so proud of your Nigerian training cos u are well grounded bro.....keep it up

My opinion though

My brother, everyone's education is to some extent international. Knowledge is generated and disseminated globally. Some of us are able to study overseas, some cannot or do not want to.

Actually I'm not necessarily writing for him to read, but for legions of sensible and inquisitive readers here. That's what I have always done here. Despite the banters, jokes and sarcasm on NL, serious minded people are quite many.

Teewhy2:
Na wa oooo.
ministerial appointments should be based on your experience and managerial skill in a particular field and not in compensating political friends.

This is only partly correct. Only because our state institutions are weak. In many developed countries a minister has to motivate and direct people to achieve specific goals set for the department or ministry by the government.
You can be a graduate of English language and be minister of justice or health.

Michael Gove read English and has been attorney General and Justice minister, education minister and now minister of Agric and environment in UK government.

Many countries only appoint ministers from within the Parliament. So expertise range may be low within the pool of parliamentarians of the ruling party. But it saves costs as they already get paid as parliamentarians. Just some extra pay on top.

Nigeria has always had mostly doctors as ministers of health but we still have a very poor health care. Also interior minister usually ex policeman or soldier. Yet poor security.

In politics loyalty and reward of loyalty is normal worldwide. But in 9ja we are just not ready to make things work. See how poorly Fashola has performed despite his obvious abilities shown in Lagos before. We need to strengthen institutions and make them effective and independent.

trapQ:
Look at this fool. @ the bolded, maybe you're a product of Nigeria's failed educational system but not everyone is. Not only am I a doctor, I am also an internationally trained one so my knowledge of biology is very profound.

Just look at the beautiful nonsense you're spewing. Homosexuality is biological in what planet?

Dude, I couldn't even read your trash till the end. Just don't quote me any further. I don't wanna lose brain cells replying you.

Well, you throwing crude insults clearly shows that whatever education you claim to have could not erase your natural crude state.

If you had any foreign education it must be from one of those backwater schools I always advise foreign students not to attend. With very low ranking internationally.
If homosexuality is not a natural behaviour for some people, what is it?

How do you explain the fact that it has existed since antiquity? And was even considered normal in Graeco-Roman times? Do you know that despite ease of getting women in 9ja many people are still secretly gay?

And so many Western politicians and celebrities who can pick fine women still remain gay?
That I am not gay does not blind me to the fact that some are naturally. In fact many ways of life not palatable to me are normal for others.

Do you know that for just being black equally bigoted people consider you subhuman? Because they are different to you. You are against others for being different from you. Also bigotry.

A person is not really educated until he can escape his narrow and bigoted mindset.

trapQ:
What part of biology states that men are polygamous in nature? Lol you people will never cease to concoct all manner of falsehoods to suit your narratives.

Oga, they feel remorseful and that is it. Stop making excuses for you Nigerian men who feel cheating is your birth right. Even men who are not the breadwinners feel remorseful too so it has absolutely nothing to do with their impending loss in a divorce settlement.

Let me reiterate. There is not one gene, enzyme or or protein in the body which has been linked to polygamy and the polygamous mindset of you Nigerian men. There are oestrogen for women and testosterone for men and there is nothing to show that men's testosterone makes them polygamous in nature so that argument is baseless and holds no water. Also, the nerve endings topic is dead on arrival too as it's only used by Nigerian men to spew jargons they know nothing about.

Since you brought up Evans the kidnapper, let me ask you. Since you men always claim to be polygamous why don't you claim to be criminal in nature since men committ 90% of the murder and violence in the world?

It's obvious you have little knowledge of biology. Or you learnt from those poorly equipped Nigerian schools. With zero research out put.
You certainly have no idea that science evolves and more knowledge is gathered through careful studies and observation. Virtually all related primates are polygamous. Human history has revealed clearly polygamous behaviour. And where religious, cultural and legal situations try to curb it, infidelity becomes the way out.
So you want to see gene for polygamy before you know it's biological?
Homosexuality was once considered a crime across the world. But the West now consider it a normal biological behaviour in some people in the population. All of mankind will eventually take that view despite current resistance here and there.

Yes in criminality, for the most part there are clear biopsychosocial aspect in many criminal behaviour. Why do you think some defendants plead diminished responsibility on grounds of mental incapacity even serious cases like murder?
You can do the usual emotional outburst we Africans are good at, but science is always there staring you in the eye. Even if you are not serious enough to understand it. Your truly has seen it studying inmates in one of the toughest prisons in a major developed country.

Of course some criminal behabiour are largely due to greed, economic situation and mixing with the wrong crowd.
Having multiple sexual partners is not a crime except in religiously fanatical countries. It may not be morally good but most people do things that are not moral. Including bribery and curruption, embezzlement, etc.

At the end there is enough blame to go round if everybody's private life can be secretly recorded and played publicly.

Quite often those who publicly condemn polygamy and other stuff actually do worse in private. Hypocrisy. Like many men of God who leave the pulpit to sleep with married members of their church.

Such people try to appear publicly moral and attack someone like me who says it dispassionately as it is. But very unlikely to even do it.